Indicators of Avoidant personality/Shyness....

EvilPixyScorp

Well-known member
Need some unbiased opinions. :)
This personality problem started around about 8.
I read about pyschology, even then, and recognize the family factors that would predispose me to be uncomfortable sharing close feelings(Except with people on the internet, lol...no problem there!!).

See anything astrologically, or have aspects yourselves?


MyChartNew.gif




It's sooo bad, I'm super sensitive to the energies of a room, to the point of stomach sickness...I slowly turned into a hermit basically to avoid the panic feelings.
I envy people who don't get the constant, "this person thinks I'm not dressed right, is judging my moves" ect. brain dialogue.
I don't even think my long time friends like me, assume they secretly feel I am a burden to them, & don't call then as often as I want...Which makes me come off as "ice queen, unreadable, aloof, snobby", been called this by dates/strangers.


BUT heres the part that confuses me...
Much the opposite of my shyness side..The only job I honestly enjoyed doing, was stripping!(Ruler of 8H in 10H Scorpio?)
Laugh if ya want, but I took it serious, was never scared off by the backstabbing coworkers tactics.
 

wilsontc

Staff member
bundle

Pixy,

Since you have most of your planets at the top right of your chart, you focus most on using your understanding of the outer world to personally do things in the outer world...such as stripping! ;)

You have a bundle chart - according to Tracy Marks The Art of Astrological Chart Interpretation:
Bundle pattern - "All planets are contained within a trine - 120 degrees, or...a maximum of 130 degrees...self-contained, focused personality who resourcefully concentrates...[their] energy upon a limited area of life, indicated by the signs and houses occupied by planets...This individual...has the capacity to develop...[their] resources to the utmost...[the first planet to have crossed the ascendant, moving clockwise] often indicates energy which may be used to achieve in the area of life indicated by the far midpoint of the bundle."

The first planet to have crossed your Ascendant is Neptune (spirituality, also illusion), so perhaps stripping interested you as a way to create an illusion of calmness and confidence. By the way the "far midpoint of the bundle" is focused on the Descendant (others), so this can account for your focus on others...and stripping certainly counts as a focus on others! ;)

In addition, there are few strongly challenging aspects to other planets in your chart. This frequently indicates a chart of a person who "has it easy" in the sense that life seems to be pretty easy. Which means that the challenges of life (challenging transits - movements of planets in the sky) hit the person much harder than people who have a lot of challenging aspects in their birth chart.

Interpreting with my clothes on, ;)

Tim
 

Summery Joy

Well-known member
EvilPixyScorp,

In addition to Tim's interpretation, I can also note that you have most of your planets in water and earth signs, signs commonly known as feminine signs. These signs to be more shy than masculine signs.

A shy stripper? I'm not very surprised. You have a stellium in Scoprio. Scoprio is the sign of extremes. Also, and this is a personal opinion, I have always thought that Scoprio is the sign of ulter-egos. I cannot imgaine a Scoprio without an ulter-ego even if it were only an imgainary one. So.. you're like Superman.. shy reporter by day and super sexy by night ;)

Also, modern astrologers associate sexuality as means of fundamental release of energy with the sign of Scoprio. That doesn't mean that a Scoprio cannot be shy.
 

Arian Maverick

Well-known member
Wow, your Ascendant is within a degree or two of my own! And you have your moon in Aries...based on these two factors, I am having difficult understanding astrologically why you may be shy :?

EDIT: I was just browsing through some of the old threads on the board and located this: shyness

Arian Maverick
 

AquariusMoon

Well-known member
Pixy, I was taught that having planets in H12 could make one socially shy, and you have a H12 stellium, Neptune being one of the planets. It's the house of secrets, and planets in H12 are sort of hidden. Neptune sittin gin H12 would sensitize you to other people's vibes.

I too have a H12 planet and it's connected to my strongly placed Neptune, and I was socially shy when young and was also very sensitive to other people's vibes, but have long since outgrown that.
 

blumen

Well-known member
BUT heres the part that confuses me...
Much the opposite of my shyness side.....

Oh, that looks absolutely normal to me. I know a male stripper who has a shyness problem as well. Now it is very late at night, but I'll look at the chart to try and spot the aspect which may signal shyness and post my reply in one or two days,

Blumen
 

Kite

Well-known member
This personality problem started around about 8.

Sun Progressed to Saturn and Pluto solar arc'd to Sun when you were 8. Was there a death then? Maybe a child or friend? Perhaps you felt your mortality for the first time then. With Saturn ruling your first house you also may have had some experience with your body - maybe first hints of sexualization (Sun rules the 8th house). Also, both the Sun and Pluto were in 10 but had progressed to 11. Could a parent have gone through some deep transformation that you picked up on - (Venus rules 10 and is in 12 conjunct Uranus). Uranus, ruler of 2 had progressed by SA to Venus when you were about 4 1/2. Perhaps you received a very early sense of your sexuality and that you held this as a resource you could exploit (Jup in 1 in Capricorn) as needed for your survival and sustanence (2nd house). With Venus conjunct Uranus in Sag, it would give you a sense of sexual inhibition but contained within the 12th house as something you could act with in a strip club which could be seen as 12th house type of place where the visitors may be hiding their brand of morality (Sag on the cusp) from others, especially with Neptune conjunct the Ascendant.

Emotions are the area of the moon and your moon also rules your 7th house of intimate encounters. A Pisces moon is sensitive to begin with and then you have a square to Mercury which is communications or challenges sharing your feelings and in 11th house..also problems sharing feelings with friends. Moon also squares Uranus (applying and would have also been SA conjunct at 8 years old) which could mean a problem relying on others who may be more concerned with their own adventures than with you. What happened when you were 8? What kind of emotional avoidance did you experience with who?

You also have Chiron in the 5th house in Gemini which is your house of self-expression and that too is squared by the moon offering up a t-square involving the Moon, squaring Chiron and Uranus. Maybe a brother or sister was involved in hurting your sense of self? With your North Node there conjunct the malific star Algol, perhaps you feel this need to pierce the dark side of your self-expression, - perhaps the evil-pixie-scorpio side? Here is the Sabian on your Chiron placement which begs the question - were you forced to surrender against your will or your will itself when you were very young?

68__(8°)
AROUND A CLOSED-DOWN FACTORY STRIKERS MILL DEFIANTLY A stirring of the collective,unconscious factors of being toward the repolarization of the conscious ego. Idle protest.
___*When positive, the degree is undeviating self-assertiveness and a refusal to accept any lesser in lieu of a greater, and when negative, a dissatisfaction which surrenders rather than regrasps the self's potential.


Here are a couple of more Sabians for you based on the t-square. The midpoints of the opposition ar 10 Pisces and 10 Virgo. Perhaps these readings will give you more clues.

340__(10°)
THE AVIATOR SAILS ACROSS THE SKY, MASTER OF HIGH REALMS Transcendence of normal problems. Gaining of celestial responsibilities. Consummation of the highest ideals. Coronation.
___*When positive, the degree is special competence in whole judgement and long-range planning, and when negative, insensate otherworldliness or irresponsible isolationism.

160__(10°)
A MAN WITH TWO HEADS IS SEEN LOOKING OUT TO THE BEYOND Consciousness functioning in inner and outer realms. Competence in understanding. Over-sensitiveness to life-currents.
___*When positive, the degree is a superb capacity for seeing both sides in every given issue and so bringing all the various phases of human enterprise to some unity of common purpose, and when negative, hopeless fragmentation of self within itself.

Again, the Uranus solar arc progression would have made the Chrion opposition exact and the moon would have been past it by 2 degrees around 5 years old..ring any bells? Anything happen at 3 years old when your moon was square Chiron by SA?

Kite
 

EvilPixyScorp

Well-known member
Right on Kite!! Wow! didnt expect that much looking into :)

My parents got divorced in 1989, so that's the 5 y/o time.
Yes, I think I could sense the issues back then, but I have almost NO memories(about anything good or bad) before maybe 4th grade.

Well after 1989, a few years later (after living with her)...
Mom disappeared for reasons I didn't believe back then.
This was probably 8-9.
Dad said she was stealing drugs from work, needed to go to a half way house...And I was moved to a new town, with my new stepmom..Who hated me & sister. Then he divorced her shortly, lived just with him, until some tramp boozehound moved in with us.
She would accuse me of stealing her books(what?? lol)...Etc.
Not like he did anything about it.

The sibling wound is probably because, while all thats going on...Sister moved away for college, didn't see all the chaos...And had quite the sharp, cruel tongue herself...like she resented having to take care of me when (I'm assuming)..Mom was all stoned.
I don't recall ever been sexually molested, or sex being brought up at all..but for some reason it fascinated me...I prayed I'd grow up to look like those 80's rock video vixens..Didn't even loose virginity till 20 though..lol..Maybe I should do some hypnotic regression?
 

Kite

Well-known member
EPS - the sex symbol identification could be a way of trying to make yourself wanted by an obviously unique male image you have of what a man wants based on your experience with Dad.

It could be productive to explore that idea of what men want and how you might be playing into it instead of thinking about what you really want (which might also be conditioned by your mother image). All of this is changeable however, once you become conscious of these "programs".


Kite
 

Lunar Pisces

Well-known member
I disagree with sorehearted's generalization of feminine signs as "shy" - actually, honestly, I find that a rather sexist interpretation of both femininity and these signs. :?

Shyness isn't a natural feminine quality (even if, socially, it's encouraged) - I mean, would you call lionesses and momma bears shy? Shyness in humans a very complicated psychological issue that applied to both genders and thus is not gender specific (and thus astrologically, it's not sign specific either).

Shyness is also a very broad problem, so what one person means by shyness could be completely different from what someone else mean. So if you're looking at a chart for indicator fo shyness, it's best to base your search on the detail the native provides about their speciifc circumstances and look broadly at the chart, and not limit your search to what you assume.

However, while I resist using the word "shy", water and earth sign are introverted, indirect, and passive. However, these are secondary qualities of these signs more primary essence: these are intuitive signs, which makes them distinct from fire (action and tangible results) and air (thought and discernable facts). Earth is cerebral-intutive and water is emotional-intuitive. Both are in realm very different from the realm of fire and air. Definitions are not as precise, and conclusions, beliefs, and views are intuitive rather than based in trial and error or in hard logic. Both earht and water, they are good at sensing, feeling, intuiting, and knowing through non-rational paths, but what they lack is the ability to be apart from what they sense. Both are somewhat dependant in this sense. Both are very interior in essence and thus need exterior containment in someway, less earth crumbles into granules and water spreads too thin. Contaimnet can be anything that helps give earth and water definition, boudaries or security: it can be through assistence, affirmation, discipline even some form of protection. This need for conntainment gives earth and water their own insecurities (that is not to say that fire and air don't have insecurities of their own). Without some form of containment, life's experiences becomes confusing, leaving earth and water vulnerable and perhaps feeling threatened. Granted this isn't as negative as it sounds. Most people have a balance of earth/water with fire/air - the fire/air provides that need containment.

Now, I'll say something about about EvilScorp and Rattyo's chart. Problems of shyness in charts of water Suns make me look to what would make that Sun feel insecure or threaten. They have different moons - Pisces and Aries - so my second thought would be their problems are very distinct. Obviously, seeing Rattyo claims his problems was mainly in childhood, whereas for EvilScorp this is an ongoing issue, it is.

It would seem that for Rattyo, he easily outgrew his insecurities, being an Aries moon. Most Aries moons get smart from experience - they did to figure out through trial and error that the world isn't that scary after all. It would appear that his Pluto opposition with his moon may be the root of many of his insecurities (this is an easily threatening aspect), but seeing it forms the base of a t-square with Mars (very agreeable apex for a Aries moon), it's likely he has found constructive ways to cope with the inner tensions this opposition as he grow older.

For EvilScorp, yes there's a lot of water, but one needs to look at why that water is insecure, and not simply think "water = insecurity." EvilScorp claims she feels hypersensitive to the energies around her. Water is highly conductive, and energy moves readily through it. This is especially true of someone with a water moon, and particularly true of Pisces moons (my sympathies - I have the same problem), Pisces moon, which is arguably the most psychic moon, is also inarguably the most vulnerable and "wide open" moon. A water Sun with a Pisces moon is in an uniquely vulnerable position - both luminaries need exterior contaiment (protection) from all the energies that both absorb. Such a person runs the risk of being overwhelmed by the energies in the environment and from other people, creating confusing and inability to seperate one's self form others.

Now seeingEvilScorp has an Cap ascendant and 1H Jupiter and Mars, what she says about stripping makes sense. Cap, like other earth signs, when feeling threatened or overwhelmed by outside energies, it likes to retreat, get away, create a distance. Stripping could be a form of distance, an assurance that one can get something (income) and stay in control without being overwhelmed or dominated (the stage provides a kind of safe buffer). Both her 1H Jupiter (risk-taking) and Mars (sexuality, need to express power) likely add to both her willingness and enjoyment of this type of job. But like any hypersensitive water person, it was her close interactions with those backstage that overwhlemed her and drove her away (again, Cap ASC creating distance to resolve the problem).

Her claim of "becoming a hermit" seems indicated by his Neptune conjunct ASC. Neptune can indicate escapism, which may have also contributed to her enjoyment of stripping - a kind of "escape" through overts sexual expression - granted, while Pluto and Scorpio are most commonly associated iwth sex, Neptune and Pisces should be noted for their highly sexual side and inclination to use sex as a form of escape. That aside, if feeling unprotected, Neptune /Pisces withdraws deeper into its own undercurrents when faced with a hostile outside world. Another problem with this Neptunian withdrawal is the longer it last, the more distorted the native's view of the outside world becomes - think of trying to look at the world through several feet of water.

Such distortion can lead to increasingly irrational reactions to the outside world, like panic attacks and overly suspicious thoughts of others. For EvilScorp, she seems to have a particular challenge here, since phobias and paranoia are linked to both Neptune and Pluto. Not only does she have Neptune rising and Pisces moon, she also has Scorip moon conjunct Pluto. The defensiveness she describes (i.e., being an ice queen) is likely rooted both in her earth ASC (again, distance) and the influence of Pluto (secretiveness, suspicion), with Neptune (withdrawal) for good measure. I say thi is a particualr challenge for her because this involves both luminaries and ASC.

This is not to say EvilScorp should despair. The challenge for her is to recognize what in her life that she lacks. I hate to psychoanalyze her blank point and via an armchair, but for someone with a 1H Jupiter and Mars to become so introverted and withdrawn seems to indicate acculminated psychological injury, probably extending from since early childhood, which is very possible with a water-water-earth person (she undoubtedly has be a very profound memory, which may be a curse as much as a blessing for her). She needs to understand that every person has different needs, and for her, as some so vulnerable and sensitive, her needs are for healing, nuturing, affirmation, compassion and protection. She needs realize that she does need ot let other into her inner life, and most importantly, that she needs to seek out others who can provide her what she needs. Just as importantly, she needs to avoid people who would continue to exploit, hurt or drag her down. She is highly influenced by her environment and those she around - that also means retreating to a sterile, isolated environment is not the best place for her. The good news is that she certainly has to capacity to choose to change her enivonment.

And a more personal note to EvilScorp (seeing I've persisted in speaking of her in 3rd person up til now): I know as a Pisces moon myself that healing can take some time. "It takes as long as it takes," as one of my most dearest friends and former spiritual director liked to say. See this as a journey for you. You're obviously not in a place you want to be, and you have to desire to change your life - otherwise, being a Scorpio, you wouldn't have said anything. :wink: Surely your past seems like an overwhelming critic that threatens to beat down all your hopes. The challenge for any watery person is to remember that the past is in the past, and today is something different. Today you can heal, learn, grow, and move on. As long as you continue to put effort into making today something different than the past, even if by small steps and little things, life will get better.

For someone with a 10H Sun and 1H Jupiter and Mars, you certainly have a lot potential you've yet to exploit. As you heal, you will also discover more about yourself and grow in your personal strength and self-knowledge. I suspect you have an ikling that there are good things about you that have yet come to the surface. Let that be an impetus for you to continue making positive changes in your life, regardless of how gloomy the past may be or how daunting the future seems.
 

wilsontc

Staff member
Earth as "intuitive"?

Lunar,

You said:
...water and earth sign are...intuitive signs, which makes them distinct from fire (...tangible results)...Earth is cerebral-intutive and water is emotional-intuitive...Definitions are not as precise, and conclusions, beliefs, and views are intuitive rather than based in trial and error or in hard logic. Both earht and water, they are good at sensing, feeling, intuiting, and knowing through non-rational paths...Both...need exterior containment in someway, less earth crumbles into granules and water spreads too thin...gives earth and water their own insecurities...Without some form of containment, life's experiences becomes confusing, leaving earth and water vulnerable and perhaps feeling threatened...she also has Scorip moon conjunct Pluto...

Great ideas! I agree with most of what you put down, with the exception that Pixy has Moon TRINE Pluto (not conjunct). However, I have some differences of opinion with what I quoted above from your post.

In my opinion, I don't think of fire as needing "tangible" results. For fire, the only result that needs to happen from one of its ideas is that fire came up with the idea. If the idea doesn't work out...that's YOUR problem! ;) Fire is too busy coming up with the next "big idea"!

Also, earth is NOT an intuitive sign. In fact, it is anything BUT intuitive. Rather than "trusting a hunch" earth will track down what happened and why and go over and over and OVER it again to understand it. Hunches or intuition aren't enough...there MUST be some form of "physical" proof! And so, instead of being "cerebral" (i.e., thinking/social, associated with air energy), instead earth is a MATERIAL process. Earth signs all come from the "show me" state..."Show me just exactly how this works so I understand it" is a common earth phrase. While this is not "rational", it is also not "intuitive." For earth "thinking" about it or "feeling" is NOT enough: seeing is believing! ;)

And, while certainly water needs containment (e.g., in a glass, in the ocean bed, etc.), I don't think earth needs any sort of external containment: a mountain (i.e., earth) isn't going to get up and go anywhere by itself...it will stay where it has ALWAYS stayed. In fact, it seems that all the three OTHER signs DO need containment of some kind: fire needs containment or it runs wild and burns up everything, air needs containment or it spreads out into nothing, and water needs containment or it runs all over the place. But earth contains itself. It stays where it is and doesn't need any outside force to get it to stay where it is put. Earth's challenge, then, isn't about containment, it is about becoming TOO contained, too set in its ways, too still, so that when change happens fire, air, and water easily react and adjust to it, while earth is still deciding whether or not a change has actually occurred! ;)

Your post was wonderful, but as someone fairly well acquainted with earth in a chart (I have 6 planets in earth!), I was struck by what you said about earth and wanted to clarify my concerns. As you notice, I am not trusting my feelings, intuition, or my mind...it is my own direct experience of how earth works which prompted me to write!

Earthily contained,

Tim
 

EvilPixyScorp

Well-known member
That alot to take in, everything you all said...I'm absorbing it now, and think I was lead here by some guides...Such a generous bunch with all your knowledge/time. :)


North Node on Algol, in 5th....
Standing up for myself, and "losing my head" is very scary for me as you can imagine. Both parents had nasty screaming fit habits.
My temper gets directed to punching walls, etc. ....but I should gear it toward artistic endeavors..Maybe singing/rock star stuff, or writing darker/scary screenplays.


I can see the Cap working, especially Mars.
When TR. Uranus conj. Moon...I started escorting as well *geez thats personal, ugh!*, because it was, in my rationalization...A way to test repressed sexual side, without any chance of personal rejection?
It's all about boundaries mentally... people at the clubs, men and women, let those "work mentalities" spread into personal lives..Mine spread visa versa.

Easier to believe your happiness/worth increases with your bank account(SN Scorp), than simply pursue activities solely for "fun"(5th house NN).
 

Kite

Well-known member
When TR. Uranus conj. Moon...I started escorting as well *geez thats personal, ugh!*

Well it's not surprising with Libra on the MC and ruler Venus in 12 conjunct Uranus as well as Uranus ruling the 2nd house.

It sounds like you're ok with it and not like you need saving or anything. But it does sound like you're missing intimacy in your life which is bothering you.

It also sounds like you're beginning the process of finding that by being intimate with yourself which means your being as honest with yourself as you can. Stay the course and you will begin to open up more and more. You have to trust you before you can trust anyone else.
 

dissolve

Member
Hey, I have some similar difficulties to you in that i'm very inhibited socially and that I have some difficulties with intimacy. Like you it has been commented that I'm very hard to read and I'm not very demonstrative of how i feel with others.

I thought I'd offer my chart as a comparison. The things I noticed were both of our charts are 'bundled' (correct me if I'm wrong), both have 12th house venus and we both have strong water influences: Pisces and Scorpio.

I don't have much knowledge of astrology so this is very basic but maybe others can see more similarities.

My chart is already posted under 'top heavy chart'. I'm not sure how to repost it as I'm on a different computer.
 

LnLL

Member
Hmm, I also have some shyness issues, and also have a 12th house Venus. I wonder if a Venus in the 12th means it's hard to access that social part. I also have Neptune on the MC though which probably adds to it.


For EvilPixyScorp, I would read as much as you can about Pluto. Pluto conjunct Sun is a big deal (anything conj. Sun is, but Pluto's a heavy-hitter) and it's also the start to your bundle, and the highest planet. I wonder if part of the problem for you is opening yourself up. Scorpio energy likes to keep itself from being vulnerable as it knows that vulnerability can be dangerous. Scorpio is where our most primal survival needs/instincts meet the more "human" part, or the higher mind. I think a big part of this is overcoming fear. Someone said you can't trust others unless you trust yourself and that's definitely true. But Pluto in Scorpio will survive, you can count on that. Maybe you're also a little afraid of your own power? Maybe you saw power mis-used and you don't want to mis-use it? Also, Saturn in Scorpio likes to keep emotions under control, or at least not show them to anyone (I have Saturn in Scorpio). I think this can make for being "aloof" but it's more because the emotions are strong and overwhelming to other people so it's sometimes easier to keep them inside. Anyway, I'm not a professional, just some thoughts. Also, a really good book on Pluto is called "The Book Of Pluto" by Steven Forrest, and another one that is highly recommended, but I haven't read, is "Pluto: The Evolutionary Journey Of The Soul" by Jeff Green. I think learning to access your very powerful Scorpio-ness might be of some help to you :). Also, Mars is exalted in Capricorn, and it's in your first house, so look to this placement for some help as well (perhaps in balancing out the Neptune on the ASC). Maybe getting in touch with the earth will help with Neptune as well and strengthen the Cap. placements....like feet in the grass, eating fresh veggies, going on hikes, just being in nature.

Anyway, I can sympathize at least. Being "shy" is very difficult, especially in American culture where being social/outgoing is idealized over many other qualities.

-Meg
 

lilllybelle

Well-known member
Quote "assume they secretly feel I am a burden to them, & don't call then as often as I want...Which makes me come off as "ice queen, unreadable, aloof, snobby", been called this by dates/strangers."

I've had the same feelings before. It's a sad feeling almost feeling like no one loves you. I've always attributed it to my saturn in the 12th. Maybe it is your 12th house quality that causes this feeling. One of my best friends, whom I've talked about a million times all over this forum, had a stellium in the 12th also. She stripped for a while. She had pluto in the 8th with a pisces rising. She had a very piscean nature with plutonic undertones. She is very shy and introverted. L.
 
Last edited:

lilllybelle

Well-known member
assume they secretly feel I am a burden to them, & don't call then as often as I want...Which makes me come off as "ice queen, unreadable, aloof, snobby", been called this by dates/strangers."

I've had the same feelings before. It's a sad feeling almost feeling like no one loves you. I've always attributed it to my saturn in the 12th. Maybe it is your 12th house quality that causes this feeling. One of my best friends, whom I've talked about a million times all over this forum, had a stellium in the 12th also. She stripped for a while. She had pluto in the 8th with a pisces rising. She had a very piscean nature with plutonic undertones. She is very shy and introverted.
 
Top