Re: Pluto, chiron and magnetic synastry
We often look to our charts to show us potentials, and sometimes overlook reality.
One of the many hazards of providing astrology feedback is the possibility the recipient may not like or agree with your information. You may get a terse “I don't agree” or no reply at all. This is especially true of synastry reports where one person is madly in love with another. Who would dare inject a thorn in the side of the beloved?
On very rare occasions in my 50 plus years of astrological interest do I bother responding to a synastry requests. This non-response is in light of my 35 year career as a licensed family therapist where we are taught to never give relationship advice - based on the following assumptions: If you are wrong, the client will never forgive you; if you are right, the client will forever look forward to being told what to do, either by yourself or others.
The whole purpose of relationship counseling, even psychiatry for that matter, is to restore the clients ability of self-determination. Somewhere, sometime, someone has said you are not capable of making decisions on your own. The end result is anxiety and depressive individuals who think they are incapable of making an adult decision. So, they seek counseling to get rid of their presumed depression and anxiety - because they think it will help them be like everyone else, or be accepted by everyone else. Psychiatry is about restoring your self-determination and letting you know that you are NOT like everyone else, in fact, you are unique and one of a kind.
I would assume the psychiatric model would also encompass astrological counseling, restoring self-determination and finding potentials in the chart, seeing so-called negative aspects as karmic blessings, rather than barriers. Curiously, self-determination (Yang) is directly opposite barriers (Yin); also, self-determinism can be a solution to anxiety (uncontrolled excitement) and depression (dis-owning of the self). Self-determination is remembering yourself.
Rather than looking at the quirks, foibles, wants and dreams of the two individuals involved, let us look at the zodiac in itself.
The Taurus/Sagittarius aspect is a Quincunx (150 degrees). The nature of the quincunx represents a crisis or a problem of things not fitting together. Therefore, the quincunx is an aspect requiring adjustment.
The Taurus/Sagittarius signs have nothing in common, being different in polarity, element, modality, and perspective. This suggest a difficulty of understanding of one another because they have nothing in common. The challenge the planets involved of this pairing is how two unlike things are going to resolve their many differences. Two planets in quincunx will have difficulty in recognizing one another resulting in constant distress, a sense of worry, misunderstanding and perplexity, especially in particular areas as health, finances, career, sex and marriage.
Not all is hopeless. If the aspect is analyzed and solutions are agreed upon, there will be pain and suffering in search of unity. If the two individuals involved are up to this kind of drama and constant adjustment, then they will have achieved a union worthy of respect. Your mileage may vary.
Linda Goodman's book, Love Signs, is on the internet for reading. You might look to see what she had to say about this particular pairing.
In reading through your reasons why you want this relationship to work, a red flag popped up for me and is of concern:
“-he has an insane amount of restriction on me... like a father figure... and I feel super grounded around him... he's subtley controlling but not in a bad way. “
As a Taurus, with 79 years under my feet, I can state unequivocal that I would never want to be controlled by another person, philosophy, politic or a government. I know of no one that wants to be controlled. As a family therapist with a few years of experience, I can tell you this “controlling” is one of the important markers of a toxic relationship. Here is a list of other toxic reminders, some of which you mentioned.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/friendship-20/201506/20-signs-your-partner-is-controlling
Namaste and good luck