Pluto in Scorpio and Darkness

LibraScorpion91

Active member
My Scorpio Pluto is in my first house, mildly conjuncting my Scorpio Ascendant. I have other Scorpio influences in my chart, such as Scorpio in Mercury and Mars. Thinking (Mercury) acting (Mars) and projecting (Rising) like a Scorpio has it's good points and bad ones. I have most of your negative characteristics of Scorpio, which shine very brightly in my personality, but one thing that makes it hard for me is Pluto. I know Pluto is the god of the underworld, and my whole life i've always had a intense intrigue and love for all things dark. In a way, darkness makes me happy, and brings me pleasure. I love uncovering deep, dark secrets, and delving into dark places that most wouldn't dare to. I can even channel the dark energies of pluto into creativity, sometimes. In this way, Pluto is positive, but as far as my negative Scorp traits go, Pluto magnifies this by 100x. I have a mean, vindictive side to me, i swear by revenge, and i could be a horrible person if i wanted. I'm good at hurting, i admit, i know how to find a person's weakness, and break them down bit by bit. I'm not catty in the least, when i'm in this vindictive state, i could make any little "Mean Girl" wannabe contemplate suicide. On top of this, i have a Libra Sun (Go figure, right?). Because of my Scorpio influences, i barely feel my Libra Sun, i lack most standard Libran characteristics, but the power of Venus does shine when it wants to. I have a love for beauty, but Pluto clashes with this in a way. It's almost like the Pluto in me hates beauty, and wants to destroy it. To make things worse, i think i was born on this thing called "Via Combusta". My Libra Sun is in 28 degrees, and i'm born on Oct. 22, 1991, at 8:33 AM. Oh, i sound crazy at this point, but i just want to know how others deal with the darkness of Pluto. Do any others out there experience darkness with Pluto in Scorpio, and if you do, how do you deal with it?
 

HeyPlayGirl

Well-known member
hey! we have a lot in common! i have a few planets in scorpio and i also have pluto in scorpio in the 1st conjunct my ascendant (which is scorpio) at 0 degrees. (doesn't get much tighter!!!) yes i agree with everything you just said. i'm dark and obssessive. i dont' relate at all to my virgo sun either! i wondr what you look like because i look like the typical plutonian& with all your pluto influence i would think we'd have some looks in common hehe :wink:

anyway i have had many sturggles with pluto so i feel your pain. it's so hard. i wish i could help you but i can only tell you what others tell me and thats you just gotta turn it into a positive power. don't fall into the obssessive, negative, person that easily comes to us plutonians. you're 100% on the money that extra pluto just magnifies the negative scorpio traits. it's NUTS. do people react strongly to you? do they kind of react negatively to things you do and say at first?
if you could give your place of birth and maybe attach a birth chart i think people could help you out here:biggrin:
 

LibraScorpion91

Active member
hey! we have a lot in common! i have a few planets in scorpio and i also have pluto in scorpio in the 1st conjunct my ascendant (which is scorpio) at 0 degrees. (doesn't get much tighter!!!) yes i agree with everything you just said. i'm dark and obssessive. i dont' relate at all to my virgo sun either! i wondr what you look like because i look like the typical plutonian& with all your pluto influence i would think we'd have some looks in common hehe :wink:

anyway i have had many sturggles with pluto so i feel your pain. it's so hard. i wish i could help you but i can only tell you what others tell me and thats you just gotta turn it into a positive power. don't fall into the obssessive, negative, person that easily comes to us plutonians. you're 100% on the money that extra pluto just magnifies the negative scorpio traits. it's NUTS. do people react strongly to you? do they kind of react negatively to things you do and say at first?


if you could give your place of birth and maybe attach a birth chart i think people could help you out here:biggrin:


I can't say that people react strongly to me, because i'm mostly surrounded by people who don't take things too personally, like my Taurus/Gemini cusp best friend, Taurus brother, and Aries sister. I don't socialize much, so i really wouldn't know, i'm a bit of a reclose. I will say that it gets frustrating dealing with my Aries sis, who remains cool and detached about everything, whereas i get passionate and fired-up about everything. I'm just not an easy person to get along with, i've always had issues getting along with other kids in school. My Pluto conjunction isn't as tight as yours, i think mine conjuncts at like 6.23 degrees, i'll post my chart so you can see the weird Libra/Scorpio stellium i have. But, Pluto is the only planet i have in the first. Sharing did help, it's something i don't think us Plutonians are good at! I try to turn my dark energy into creativity, but i know i have to let that vindictive part of me go. About looks, i think my Scorpio rising is defective in that department. I'm very feminine and "Soft" in appearance, kinda typical Libra in the figure department, i'm curvy but lithe, and i have more "Babyish" features, i look 12 when i'm turning 18 in october! I don't think Pluto or Scorpio shows itself in my appearance. It *****, only because i feel my physical appearance doesn't even come close to reflecting the person i am on the inside. It's like a really messed-up trick god played on me!:sad:
 

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Sunny

Well-known member
Hi, LibraScorpion91!
When I read your "story" it gives me the impression that you "are" very sincere with yourself. But it seems only that like, because you want to show a mostly negative figure of yourself. This is effectively a great danger for Scorpio in the ASC! You understand me? It is your very natural (think : scorpio!) behaviour to diminish yourself. In scorpio words that means to be masochist.

Then my second impression is that all things you heard or learned from the negative sides of scorpios you are going to introduce it in your mind.

No, if you want to learn astrology you always have to join in the real reality, what is and not what it have to be.

Pluton on the ASC could be a very great desire to become very, very powerful, just in the way to overcome quickly much steps in the scale of the society. So much people with this position are coming very quick and very high, but the danger is, that they can fall down as quickly as well.
Now, if Pluto is in Scorpio, then he is in its own sign, and there it is the best position he could have. Loving the darkness is more an interior darkness like our unconscious. The power of scorpios is here - in their own unconscious and on the others one - a power in and on the soul of peoples. There you have to put attention because the danger is that this power will be too pleasant for you and that you could want to manipulate your opposite person. (And "opposite person" can also be your own opposite face.)
The Pluto characteristics are the great abilities for suffering. And when he is really down, then like phoenix he re-emerge from himself in a renewing way. That isn't easy but it is (sometimes:wink:) admirable.

Pluto as the second ruler of scorpio has very much richess and firstly that will be his lucidity. Scorpio's primor ruler is Mars. This one concerns the energy - scorpios are great workers! -, he is the partner (or husband) of Venus (Aphrodite in the greek mythology), he is red, always in the wars, but he is also the shining one.

So, if you have your Sun in Libra be careful to avoid excessive masochisme, because as a Libra Sun you are too much suffering from it, I will say from your plutonian-scorpio tendancies and your ASC.
You are young and you have all your life before you. So, learn to rectify your Mercury together with Mars. There you ought to forbid you all cutting speach, to avoid to injure your opposite persons with your words. You can learn it and you have to do it. Because in the sign of scorpio are very famous people, poets and very honorable ones. Let you inspire from them.

Another very good point of scorpio sign is that these people have a great sens for devotion.

All your qualities and knowledge, even your suffering you can offer it to others and be very helpful for them.

Now I see your chart. Mercury and Mars nearby your ASC but in the 12th - that's what I can understand. Perhaps it can give you a liberation when you understand that you'll be always a victim for malevolent scandalmongerings. So don't continue to reflect about the "why they did so", but know that it is so and go your own way!:happy:

Good luck for you! and with all my scorpio heart
Sunny
 

LibraScorpion91

Active member
Thanks, Sunny! Yes, as sadistic as i can be, masochism is right behind. I'm good for beating myself up, i'm always TOO hard on myself, and unlike anyone with no Scorpio in them just gets depressed, i brood and wallow in my self-depricating emotions for months sometimes. I know i have to let go of my vengeful, vinditive nature, because it's causing me more harm than good. Also, sometimes i feel like the Scorpio overtakes me, like i said, thinking, acting, and projecting like a Scorpio dominates my personality and my being, outer and inner. It's kind of like the saying "If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck... it's a duck."

"When I read your "story" it gives me the impression that you "are" very sincere with yourself. But it seems only that like, because you want to show a mostly negative figure of yourself."

Not nessesarily. I know that part sounds "harsh", but i really dug deep to give everyone a good idea of how i am when i'm in that vindictive state. It would have been a LOT worse, but this site doesn't allow cursing! :bandit:

It's just that feeling of wanting to hurt someone who did me wrong. I want to hurt, physically or emotionally - just anything to break that person down, to defeat them. God, when i'm that angry, i want to cause pain so bad that i can taste it, my heart starts to race and a fire burns violently inside me, i want it so bad it seeps out of my eyes... it's primal, you know? When i'm in that state, punishing is my only intent. And even worse, i take EXTREME pleasure from all of this.

All my Scorpion energies give me immense passion - and right now it's negative passion. I have to change that. But i get so intensely passionate that sometimes (okay, most times) it's hard for me to just chill out. The good part, though, is that i think i make up for my negative qualites by being very nurturing and loving, i always want to heal someone in pain. If i love you - i'll go to hell and back to protect you, even if it kills me in the process. It's kind of like a trade off, i can be your best friend in the world - but if you cross me, i'll be your worst ememy.

I have a feeling i'm gonna have to really hit rock bottom before i can "rise", like the true phoenix i know i am! I'm young, and who knows what this road called life will lead me. Thanks for all your responses, this has been very therapeutic for me!
 
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Sunny

Well-known member
being very nurturing and loving, i always want to heal someone in pain
Yes, and that's exactly a very nice exercice of power!

Aren't you a little bit lying? Where is the problem if you like to do what you feel? That would be my question to you.
And what's about your Jupiter??? If you know so well how you can be, why it is disturbing you? There is a reason for sure.
The Sun in the 12th is very imprisonned, that means that you don't see the world as the world is. And therefore perhaps you are not so inclined to hear at your Jupiter.
I also had a look at your 3rd house. There you can begin to change something what you think to have to change. Lilith situated between Neptune and Saturn - what could that be in your mind?

So, perhaps, actually you are not very fit, and saying
It would have been a LOT worse, but this site doesn't allow cursing! :bandit:
isn't very logical, because here, it will not be helpful to let off steam for nobody, here you are coming in to learn - with the desire to change really together with the collaboration of the stars.

Best wishes
Sunny
 

LibraScorpion91

Active member
"Aren't you a little bit lying? Where is the problem if you like to do what you feel? That would be my question to you."
"If you know so well how you can be, why it is disturbing you? There is a reason for sure."

It's disturbing to me because i've hurt people that are close to me in the past. I never really realized how my vindictive qualites have effected others, nor have i realized how it's hurting me in the longrun. Yes, i do take pleasure from it, but thats just it. It's not healthy that i take pleasure from it, i realize this... and i know that it's wrong, and that i should let all that negative energy go. It's just that i don't know how.

"isn't very logical, because here, it will not be helpful to let off steam for nobody, here you are coming in to learn - with the desire to change really together with the collaboration of the stars."

No, i didn't mean it in the sense to blow off steam, i meant that by saying by adding curses, i would have come off way worse, like a complete and total, well, they won't let me say it, but you know what i mean! :biggrin:

I have no clue as to what Jupiter means for me in life, nor what it represents. This is why i posted my chart.
 
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LibraScorpion91

Active member
"I wanted to tell you something, LibranScorpion91, but I didn't know exactly what or how, as I already told you (in your other thread) the most basic thing I have in mind when reading you."

"I think much depends on what you consider to be Libra and what you consider to be Scorpio. It seems to me that you are relating superficial, easy characteristics to Libra, and intense, tumultuous feelings to Scorpio.

I don't think it works like that...I wish it did. ;)"

It's not that i relate easy, lighthearted feelings to Libra, and deeper emotions to Scorpio, i know that there are deep-thinking Librans and superficial, air-headed Scorpios, but it's just that i don't think that the description of Libra comes very close to describing my astrological characteristics. I used to, as a young kid, but it seems the older i get, the more i "grow out" of my sun. Pluto seems to stage a challenge for me in this part of my life, and being that my Pluto is in Scorpio, along with my Mars in Scorpio, making these two planets my chart rulers, i feel Scorpio more strongly right now. Who knows, maybe my Libra Sun will make itself more present and present a challenge of it's own in another stage in my life.

"Whether it's his intellect and his emotions, his maleness and his femaleness, his spirituality and his materialism, Libra will always find deep conflicts in himself which represent the deep conflicts in life. And as he gradually carves for himself the thin road in the middle, he can truly become the bringer of the Good, the True and the Beautiful - because they no longer exist only in his mind."

This makes a lot of sense, i like this quote. I'll keep this in mind, we just have to change the "his" to "her" though, LOL!

"He has the Power to truly be Master of his own Fate."

Oh god, have i heard this before!
 
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Sunny

Well-known member
It's disturbing to me because i've hurt people that are close to me. I never really realized how my vindictive qualites have effected others, nor have i realized how it's hurting me in the longrun.
So, what conclusion have you to pull out of this? That firstly you love your relatives (or those people closed to you) and you are not able to exprime your love. Learn it and you'll be better.
Secondly you understand what you did and why you collect these effects. If you are really conscient, than you have nothing other to do as to regret your actions and to repair them. In this way you learn to overcome your pride and to be nice in your own eyes.

It's not healthy that i take pleasure from it, and i need to let that go.
And what's that? Why you tell us that? If you know it, there is nothing to say because you only and only you know what you have to do. But do you want to be healthy or are this the others who wish it? Be sincere with you and don't seek for accomplices just as you will show that you are not able to stop it!

And now, you can work on your Jupiter.

Good luck!
Sunny
 

LibraScorpion91

Active member
"But do you want to be healthy or are this the others who wish it? Be sincere with you and don't seek for accomplices just as you will show that you are not able to stop it!"

I do wish to be healthy, but it's just that i don't know how to go about doing that. I feel like a cutter, and cutters enjoy the pain they cause
themselves, so learning how to not depend of that negative emotion is hard.

"So, what conclusion have you to pull out of this? That firstly you love your relatives (or those people closed to you) and you are not able to exprime your love. Learn it and you'll be better.
Secondly you understand what you did and why you collect these effects. If you are really conscient, than you have nothing other to do as to regret your actions and to repair them. In this way you learn to overcome your pride and to be nice in your own eyes."

Exactly!

Now i'm one step closer to getting pluto's behind in check, and then i can work on my jupiter! :biggrin:
 

divine g

Banned
Hi LibraScorpion,
I can relate to your "sickness" as I have Pluto conjuncting my natal moon, and I also have a knack for patiently plotting revenge on my enemies. My advice, to keep you from doing anything you'll regret, is to stay as far away from those who irritate you, as those negative energies build up. DESTROY THEM IN YOUR MIND FIRST. After that it's easy. If they're dead to you mentally, they have no power over you--out of sight, out of mind. Ignoring them is the best revenge, channel that obsessive energy into something you really love, and let SUCCESS be your best revenge.

Your natal Jupiter conjunct Venus in Virgo shows you can have a great career someday, so find something you love, something positive that gets you fired up, and start working on it, you'll see big results eventually. I would also say to not underestimate your Aries moon, that could be more of a cause for hotheadedness than Pluto.

But your Sun has progressed into Scorpio and should be conjuncting your natal Pluto about now, so that should explain your intense darkness. Go to astro.com to get your progressed chart, they're really insightful. Good luck..
 

HeyPlayGirl

Well-known member
i was reading 2 things today that made me think of this thread. #1- that scorpio risings can either be a complete angel, completely evil, or both haha i totally fit the both as it seems you do too. i know it's a generalization but it has some truth to it. you can be choking someone you dislike with one hand and not have a shred of guilt while at the same time lovingly give money to a charity or homeless person with the other hand and not really think something is wrong with that when there is. and with pluto conjunct your ascendant i woudl assume more of the negative, overtakes you even though it doesn't have to. #2-i was also reading that people with sun in the 12th are bullied a lot in school. you don't have to admit it but maybe that's adding to your negativity&depression and blocking you from being able to see or have positivity. and that progressed sun in scorpio that divinge g pointed out is also adding i'm sure. (i'm not saying all scorpios have negative traits but it's easy to be overtaken by the negative traits of any sign if youre already depressed or have been hurt in life)


i was very suicidal not long ago, now i'ma lot more positive but still suicidal, just nowhere near as bad because certain transits have changed and my solar arcs are looking better etc. just know that the planets move and as they do your life will get better, you're only a teenager so things seem out of your control right now but try to be happy and positive!
 

LibraScorpion91

Active member
Hi all!

Heyplaygirl- Yeah, in fact i was bullied in school. I'm currently homeschooled now, but i can safely say that i've never had the privlege of socializing with "nice" kids my age... i've taken some serious abuse in school. I've since tried to let that part of my life go, but, i would be lying if i said it didn't give me a biased opinion of people my age. Again, pluto doesn't help with things like this! The whole comment about scorp risings being angels and devils - i think that's the "black and white" trait that people always correlate to scorpio. :innocent: + :devil:

I have been suicidal in the past, i even battled with self-injury not too long ago. To tell you the truth, the ONLY thing that stopped me from offing myself right then and there was this thought: "I'm young, so maybe my life will get better. So i won't do it now. I'll "Give life a chance", as they say. But, if by 30, my life hasn't gotten ANY better, i'm doin' it. Hey, at least that way people can't say i didn't try... right?"

Divine G- Thanks for the advice. For me, my pluto causes "darkness" or "negative, vindictive energy", my Aries Moon mixed in with that... well, have you ever heard the term "Fire and Ice"? That's me in a nutshell! LOL!

I posted my progressed chart, and it seems nothing has really "progressed". But then again, i can never make heads or tails of any chart, so i posted it if you want to look and give your opinion.
 

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divine g

Banned
Hey LibranScorpio, here's your progressed chart. Like I thought, your Sun is now conjuncting Pluto in your 12th so, you aren't out of the dark yet. But, if it feels right for you to retreat from the world to get your stuff together, you will come out on the other side much happier.

Your ascendant will change to Sagitarius in 4years, hopefully by then you'll be done with college, or finishing up and ready to take on the world. Sage asc is a great placement, people will see you as a really optimistic, enthusiastic person (trust me I know someone whose asc progressed to sage and they are so happy it's annoying lol :)

Your moon will also have progressed into Aquarius by then, so you'll be more able to emotionally detach yourself, and might even have a nice little group of quirky friends who understand you. Deep down, you'll still be a pretty intense person, as your sun, mars and pluto will be conjunct in your 12th, but as long as you realize that deep down, you dont really care what the world thinks of you, you wont be under Pluto's hold as much. You'll embrace your intensity deep down, and share it only with a select few, while presenting a happy face to the world, which will respond to you with a smile.

Just take things one day at a time, and understand that by the time you're 30, you'll be a completely different person, and your happiness wont be a facade. You'll be genuinely happy about being alive, even more so after understanding your deepest darkest emotions, and mastering them.

The 12th house is a spiritual, unworldly house, so I suggest you find some sort of spiritual practice to keep you together, and burn off your negative energy as often as possible. Yoga, exercise, reading, whatever, take up horseback riding or boxing, but you have so much energy, you have to use it constructively!

I noticed your moon is now in 1st house Sage, and I think I speak for all of us here when I say that despite your issues, you really do give off the impression of someone who is happy and optimistic, even inspiring, so keep it up. You'll focus less on your own unhappiness when you tap into your gift to make others happy. Remember this quote, "They say your darkest hour, comes right before the dawn". So stay positive, you'll better be able to handle the darkness once you know there IS a bright light at the end of the tunnel.

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LibraScorpion91

Active member
I am very sorry to hear you've gone through all that, LibraScorpion91. At your age I was totally optimistic so I don't know one could deal with that type of problem you've encountered. But what I can tell you is that life is really tough at times, at any age...and there are things we simply cannot change, like some terrible illness. Your problem must be a difficult one to overcome, but as it depends on you and your dealings with others, I truly hope you can learn a way to overcome it.

Let's see if someone can tell you how...I truly don't know how, apart from saying that it is a good idea to relate with nice people, people you can trust. And that we should not pay too much attention to what others say about us or their harsh behaviour...that should be their problem, not ours.

Thanks, haizea. you know, i've realized that life truly is about acceptance. accepting life on lifes terms, learning what you can, with no bitterness. i've had a rough life, dealt with things that most kids and teens shouldn't have to, but i try to learn from those experiences. i would be lying to say that those experiences hasn't jaded me a bit, because it has, but i'm working on that.

i do try to surround myself with nice people, i know this is crucial for me as i'm very sensitive to my environment. at this point in my life, i'm not one to care what people think, the person i was back in school was very different from the person i am now, but i still have issues with picking people as friends that try to make me feel bad, and keep me down to an extent for their own good. this is why i struggle with trust issues as well.
 

LibraScorpion91

Active member
Hey LibranScorpio, here's your progressed chart. Like I thought, your Sun is now conjuncting Pluto in your 12th so, you aren't out of the dark yet. But, if it feels right for you to retreat from the world to get your stuff together, you will come out on the other side much happier.

Your ascendant will change to Sagitarius in 4years, hopefully by then you'll be done with college, or finishing up and ready to take on the world. Sage asc is a great placement, people will see you as a really optimistic, enthusiastic person (trust me I know someone whose asc progressed to sage and they are so happy it's annoying lol :)

Your moon will also have progressed into Aquarius by then, so you'll be more able to emotionally detach yourself, and might even have a nice little group of quirky friends who understand you. Deep down, you'll still be a pretty intense person, as your sun, mars and pluto will be conjunct in your 12th, but as long as you realize that deep down, you dont really care what the world thinks of you, you wont be under Pluto's hold as much. You'll embrace your intensity deep down, and share it only with a select few, while presenting a happy face to the world, which will respond to you with a smile.

Just take things one day at a time, and understand that by the time you're 30, you'll be a completely different person, and your happiness wont be a facade. You'll be genuinely happy about being alive, even more so after understanding your deepest darkest emotions, and mastering them.

The 12th house is a spiritual, unworldly house, so I suggest you find some sort of spiritual practice to keep you together, and burn off your negative energy as often as possible. Yoga, exercise, reading, whatever, take up horseback riding or boxing, but you have so much energy, you have to use it constructively!

I noticed your moon is now in 1st house Sage, and I think I speak for all of us here when I say that despite your issues, you really do give off the impression of someone who is happy and optimistic, even inspiring, so keep it up. You'll focus less on your own unhappiness when you tap into your gift to make others happy. Remember this quote, "They say your darkest hour, comes right before the dawn". So stay positive, you'll better be able to handle the darkness once you know there IS a bright light at the end of the tunnel.

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Thanks for the critique, divine. But i just need you to clear this up for me. So, when a planet or placement "Progresses", it COMPLETLY changes in sign, along with it ALL the characteristics of the sign in that placement? So when my sun "progresses" into Scorpio, would that make me a full-on Scorpio? Yikes!

"You'll embrace your intensity deep down, and share it only with a select few, while presenting a happy face to the world, which will respond to you with a smile."

I do this already, to be completly honest.
 
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divine g

Banned
"You'll embrace your intensity deep down, and share it only with a select few, while presenting a happy face to the world, which will respond to you with a smile."

I do this already, to be completly honest.
Yeah, I figured that, with your moon in Sage in 1st..
And yes, you're Sun is deep in Scorpio right now, so at the moment, you feel more like a Scorpio, but Libra will always be a part of your makeup, it's your foundation. The planets are always moving, so your motto should be, "this too shall pass".

Progressions can be tricky, but yes, theres definitely a noticeable shift in whatever area that planet rules. You wont totally become that sign, but it's more like a new layer of yourself, added on to what's already there.

e.g. I met a girl who had scorpio asc 23degrees..but we met when she had progressed sage asc..i would have never guessed there was any scorpio traits in her, because it had been buried in her 12th. I saw pictures of her as a little girl, and she looked really sad. But these days, she's annoyingly happy. That sad little girl is still there somewhere, but the new layer is the new her, so that's who she's identifying with and projecting to the world. And she's aware of her old self, so tries extra hard to keep that from coming back.

People grow, people change, like the seasons. So we all have elements of our past selves around, no one changes 100%, but no one stays the exact same either. So in your case, you have a Libran past, a Scorpion present, and a Sagitarrian future. In the end you'll have all those elements inside you. Dont be discouraged about being a Scorpio now, it's a powerful sign. And you have Mercury and Moon in Sage balancing you out. Natally, you'll always be a Libra, that's the bigger picture..it's just that at this point in your life, you're feeling like a Scorpio and learning its lessons. But, "this too shall pass"..embrace it, face it, Scorpio is all about facing your demons, and being reborn a stronger person as a result!
 

LibraScorpion91

Active member
If we think of your Libra Sun, LibraScorpion91, the lessons about emotions are always very difficult for us, Air Sun signs. With your Scorpio Asc and your strong Pluto, you will get to be much wiser than me in that domain (Gem/Leo, Taurus Moon here). Even if the strongest element in my chart is Water, it is not part of my most conscious mode of being, so it is very difficult for me to deal with emotions.

About what we were saying of getting hurt...that's something that will always happen. We need to learn how to recover (totally and for real) from it, because it is part of life and it is unavoidable that we sometimes hurt each other. Then, when we see someone has gone too far, we just can run away from them. But we can't run away from everybody or we'd be isolated. :)

Just learning how to know our feelings and express them in a good manner is a really difficult task for us. I see you are already working on it...I started much later and I am still a Beginner at it. :biggrin:

For me, even though i have issues expressing my emotions at times (Air Sun), i'm emotionally triggered - everything starts with an emotion. I wouldn't describe myself as an emotional person, but i'm very AWARE of my emotions. I think that's the common misconception, that just because someone is emotional, this means that they are fully aware of what they feel, and that they have emotional intellegence. My mother, for example. She's EXTREMELY emotional, and yes it makes her irrational at times, but most of the time, she has NO IDEA as to what she's feeling, nor how to express her emotional needs. I'm naturally aware of what i'm feeling emotionally, where that emotion is coming from, and what's causing it. I can express my emotional needs, because i KNOW what i feel when i'm feeling it. If i'm void of self-esteem, i think i definitley make up for it in my self-awarness.

I don't mean to sound arrogant, god, i'm probably the most insecure person i know, but this quality i think is the only thing that saves me. My self-esteem is downright horrendous, i'm always self-conscious, and i lack confidence in myself as well. Don't get me started on body-image. I think my pride, self-respect and self-awareness keeps me from truly being taken advantage of in ways many young girls my age with low-self esteem do every day.
 

waybread

Well-known member
LibraScorpion91, I don't know whether you have developed your artistic abilities or not, but you probably have them with your Jupiter/Venus trine Neptune. I am not sure what they would be: possibly painting or sculpture? Acting? You mentioned being home-schooled, but unless your parents are trained artistically themselves, this would be a great area for you to get some more expert instruction. If you are still in NYC, there are fine and performing art schools and academies; and you may be university-bround.

This would be a positive outlet for your plutonic energies.

Your feelings are your feelings, and as such they are always valid. I don't know whether you believe in karma--whether across multiple lives or just in your life, but what you give out is what you get back. You may hurt someone today and feel the thrill of having that kind of power over another person, but the universe--if not that individual--has a way of repaying you several-fold. You don't get to keep whatever power you may feel in inflicting pain on someone. So the key to your finding a meaningful, authentic life will be to find some positive, constructive outlet for your love of darkness.

This phenomenon is more common with sun-sign Scorpios, but a thwarted vindictive Scorpio will first lash out her stinger at others, then sting herself, then ultimately take a toxic dose of her own poison. So the challenge is to avoid this rather shabby, impotent kind of fate.

You have a fair sprinkling of quintiles in your chart: these usually involve both a lot of talent plus the ambition to manifest it.

Some creative people who have manifested "the dark side" in constructive (and lucrative) ways are murder mystery author P. D. James, fantasy authors J.R.R. Tolkien, and J. K Rowling, an awful lot of jazz composers/musicians, Heart of Darkness author Joseph Conrad, and painter Henri Rousseau with some of his tropical paintings. Less creative but still important Plutonian kinds of careers include: forensic anthropologist, mortician, detective, pathologist, and night-shift workers in a variety of occupations.

When your sun progresses into another sign, you don't lose your birth-sign characteristics. You do expand your repertoire to take up new traits and experiences according to the new sign.

Have you checked out the myth of Perspehone (Prosperpina)?

Oh, and you might wish to take up boxing, fencing, or one of the martial arts.

Best wishes for your journey, W.
 
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