Sexuality questions

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PlutorisingLee

Well-known member
I repress my need for relationships because otherwise it is this Plutonic volcano that leaves ruins. I'm very controlled....
On the one hand, I know I'm too picky and idealistic about people but I also swing towards "loving" people I can't stand just because we all need love.
Yes...It's not clever.
 
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Lykanized

Lykanized

Well-known member
I'm having some similar Venusian issues myself with lack of boundaries, relationships that tend to end in a huge Plutonian mess, and questions about my sexuality. Only...I know that I love women, but because of my tendency to pursue sex and relationships when it probably wasn't wise to and to pursue them for the wrong reasons combined with a raw desire to just experience sex, I've experimented with men and questioned if I'm bi or not. I've come to realize I'm not bi, just a lesbian, and because of some of my hard Venus aspects, I just lose touch of the purity of love and sex. Idk about you, but I've targeted some huge selfesteem issues and that was another big thing for me. Because of low selfesteem, I'd pursue sex bc i felt I had to or else I wasn't attractive. Or I'd become obsessed with my appearance all the while feeling unable to change it. And also because of self esteem... I've noticed some control issues can come out and that I start constantly comparing myself to my partner rather than loving them for them. I don't have an innate sense if boundaries so I feel like I want to be the center of their attention and become paranoid if I'm not because what if it means they don't love me and therefore I'm unloveable? I end up becoming obsessive and manipulative, even sometimes to women who I've only flirted with, but for whatever reason, became invested in. My very first relationship, I realized after I was really just using her to help myself feel like I was loveable and when we broke up, I became suicidal and unstable

Not pretty at all. So at this point I've realized I have to step back, develop boundaries, and develop self love more. The more I've developed my self love, the healthier overall I've become with people
 
wilsontc

wilsontc

Staff member
WARNING: Sexuality questions

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O

or1000

Well-known member
I needed to participate in this thread because I highly reasonate with it. With heavy Venus-pluto aspect, and someone who too feels like I connect with all people regardless of gender through intellect and spirituality, Pluto often swoops in and makes a mix up. Learning that I don’t need a partner, truly developing myself for me and not somebody else, boundaries etc, I believe that it will help this blur around relationships and sexuality.
 
ashriia

ashriia

Well-known member
Looking at your chart, relationships with men - will be hard on your self esteem. You may find relationships with women more fulfilling, but there will still be issues.

Also there is no need to define, label or categorize your sexuality. I understand there is alot of societal and relationship pressure to stick a label on yourself, so someone else can understand what you prefer. But there is nothing wrong with just liking who you like when you form a connection with someone. You don't need to label yourself.

When you enter your 30s often times you start realizing you prefer one gender over the other anyway. In your mid 20s just enjoy your life, have fun, don't overthink this; as it very often will be become clearer at a later date.




PlutorisingLee said:
- I'm very confused about my sexual orientation (I'm female)
I don't know if I would be happier dating men or women?

Any help with what a better path regarding my sexuality and relationships is welcome!
Click to expand...
 
S

Sagcap88

Well-known member
I think that building a good relationship with yourself and dating yourself and doing things on your own until you’re content being in your own and know who you are will give you the answer.
 
P

PlutorisingLee

Well-known member
I absolutely agree it is important to work on a good relationship with yourself, boundaries, self-love...Thank you guys for sharing your experiences- it really makes me feel less alone in this!
You are beautiful.

The problem is- that how the more I worked towards developing these things the more alone I am. It like NOW with better boundaries and understanding my needs- I have no one I can date!
I don't want to date people I used to fall head over heal with..I can see it is not worth it.
Just "winging it" until I'm 30 is really now way to live..I have been alone for YEARS. I can admit I need a relationship to further grow. I can be alone if not lonely.

Also the more I analyze the less I'm sure about my sexuality. I agree about labels! 100% but I still want to know I'm doing the right thing.
It is such a painful thing to not know about this, to wonder if I'm in denial or honest with myself...To not commit or try dating anyone because I don't know yet.

Anyway..What does Astrology say on the matter?
 
P

PlutorisingLee

Well-known member
ashriia said:
Looking at your chart, relationships with men - will be hard on your self esteem. You may find relationships with women more fulfilling, but there will still be issues.
Click to expand...
Oh it is sure true! I admit to a lot of trauma regarding both genders.
I'm not looking for an easy road..Just an honest one. I worry I choose males because it is more secure but if I choose females it is because I'm a coward or rebellious.
Also there is no need to define, label or categorize your sexuality. I understand there is alot of societal and relationship pressure to stick a label on yourself, so someone else can understand what you prefer. But there is nothing wrong with just liking who you like when you form a connection with someone. You don't need to label yourself.
Click to expand...
I agree..But like you say, if I don't define it for myself other people and society will define and push me in the direction they want. I agree it is a fluid thing that can't be labeled in one word.
When you enter your 30s often times you start realizing you prefer one gender over the other anyway. In your mid 20s just enjoy your life, have fun, don't overthink this; as it very often will be become clearer at a later date.
Click to expand...
Really? how so?
I can't just have fun- me feelings get hurt.
 
Lykanized

Lykanized

Well-known member
PlutorisingLee said:
I absolutely agree it is important to work on a good relationship with yourself, boundaries, self-love...Thank you guys for sharing your experiences- it really makes me feel less alone in this!
You are beautiful.

The problem is- that how the more I worked towards developing these things the more alone I am. It like NOW with better boundaries and understanding my needs- I have no one I can date!
I don't want to date people I used to fall head over heal with..I can see it is not worth it.
Just "winging it" until I'm 30 is really now way to live..I have been alone for YEARS. I can admit I need a relationship to further grow. I can be alone if not lonely.

Also the more I analyze the less I'm sure about my sexuality. I agree about labels! 100% but I still want to know I'm doing the right thing.
It is such a painful thing to not know about this, to wonder if I'm in denial or honest with myself...To not commit or try dating anyone because I don't know yet.

Anyway..What does Astrology say on the matter?
Click to expand...
You're beautiful too <3

I think you shouldn't feel like you have to be in a rush to marry or get a family. If you do it out of that feeling of urgency or with any sense of anxiety that things have to be done now, you may end up really regretting later. With Venus opposite moon, it may be hard to balance what you need with your passion and desire for relationships, but it isn't impossible. If you really do feel you need that right now, then I would say just practice taking things slowly and not rushing in following your passions without inhibition if that's something you've tended to do in the past. If you've been putting in the work, you may be able to reach out and stop repressing that need. I've only just begun repressing my need so it's the beginning of my own journey in this avenue

So you feel like you've done the work and now you're ready to reach out again and start experimenting with those new boundaries? And you feel like you need that to grow in the way you want to right now?

Definitely don't become so stressed about labels. Why do you think society might push you in a certain direction? Society can't define you or push you in any direction unless you let them, so be a bad ***** and don't let them :)

If you're having trouble telling who you may be happier with, why not try experimenting a little with that? Are you worried about trying a relationship and figuring out it's not right?
 
RishiRahul

RishiRahul

Well-known member
PlutorisingLee said:
I drank up some courage to ask this sensitive question!
But I'm not made of glass so feel free to speak your opinion.

- I'm very confused about my sexual orientation (I'm female)
I don't know if I would be happier dating men or women?
There is a part of me that believes in love as an ideal and can love any person regardless of gender and there is a part of me that is very much with two feet on the ground. I feel I connect to people through intellectual/spiritual means anyway.
Or maybe I'm just in denial.
What gender would I find happiness with?

- I repress my need for relationships because otherwise it is this Plutonic volcano that leaves ruins. I'm very controlled....
On the one hand, I know I'm too picky and idealistic about people but I also swing towards "loving" people I can't stand just because we all need love.
Yes...It's not clever.
So I'm also asking if I should start giving more people a chance or keep working on having strong boundaries- what would bring more happiness to ME?
This all leads to the fact that I really want a family of my own (I'm great with kids) but also finding that marriage thing suffocating and frightening.

Any help with what a better path regarding my sexuality and relationships is welcome!
Click to expand...

Hello,

Your birth data will help me analyse.

RishiRahul
 
RishiRahul

RishiRahul

Well-known member
PlutorisingLee said:
Can I please share data in private? :smile:
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Sorry PlutorisingLee,

I do not respond to analysis in private messages.

If you do not reveal your birthdata you will only be getting partial/incomplete analysis in forums.

All experienced astrologers follow their own co ordinates while casting a chart.

RishiRahul
 
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PlutorisingLee

Well-known member
RishiRahul said:
Sorry PlutorisingLee,

I do not respond to analysis in private messages.

If you do not reveal your birthdata you will only be getting partial/incomplete analysis in forums.

All experienced astrologers follow their own co ordinates while casting a chart.

RishiRahul
Click to expand...

I understand using different systems...

Thank you
 
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Whoam1

Whoam1

Well-known member
Your only moon aspect in orb is mercury, which is the planet of bi-everything including bisexuality, it is open and therefore you are. You have a Sun-Venus-Uranus-Neptune, all of which are receptive (Uranus is the gay planet but is receptive as it's the opposite of the Sun) so thu
Is is literally expressed respectivity making you more willing to be on the receiving end of all sorts of things.
 
RishiRahul

RishiRahul

Well-known member
PlutorisingLee said:
I understand using different systems...
For Astrological help and advice regarding my questions.
15.05.1992 Jerusalem.Isra. 14:32.
Thank you
Click to expand...


Hello,

Saturn is your soul significator, showing that you are only soul trying to search through life, but one who has abundant energy for experiencing life.

Every one of us has a final direction in life purpose.

In relationships you need to be proud of your partner to enable lasting relations.
You will have lot of need/swings for relationships moon opposite venus and mercury). This also makes you prone to liking both partners..... also the need for sudden and difficult results due to Mars.
Within 1 year from mid 2024 will be find you & stick to the kind of partner you actually prefer. Before this will be experimenting and finding out.

You are a social person & your life will attract responsibilties due your birth details.

Since 2012 life has made you less grounded in finding the what you need to do.....difficult life experiences affecting the 'self'.

RishiRahul
 
P

PlutorisingLee

Well-known member
Whoam1 said:
Your only moon aspect in orb is mercury, which is the planet of bi-everything including bisexuality, it is open and therefore you are. You have a Sun-Venus-Uranus-Neptune, all of which are receptive (Uranus is the gay planet but is receptive as it's the opposite of the Sun) so thu
Is is literally expressed respectivity making you more willing to be on the receiving end of all sorts of things.
Click to expand...

Thanks for taking the time.
Moon-Jupiter doesn't count? What orbs did you use?
I don't know about Uranus as Astrologers who see it it as an attribute of "unusual relationships" in a. natal chart somehow (in a roundabout way) assume it is very abnormal to have feelings for other human beings.
Plus it was not used until recently and...people were still gay :whistling:
- Would it work as you say even in an easy aspect?
 
P

PlutorisingLee

Well-known member
RishiRahul said:
Hello,

Saturn is your soul significator, showing that you are only soul trying to search through life, but one who has abundant energy for experiencing life.

Every one of us has a final direction in life purpose.
Click to expand...
Thank you for your reply.
Like atmaKarka? So Saturn points to the major mission/driving force in my life?
I certainly have most of my difficulties be about Saturn and learning how to work hard and take responsibility. A lot of it is about...Saying no to love, pleasure and fun...Which I'm struggling with.

Is the way Saturn placed point out how I can better learn this lesson? Is it really about never having fun?

In relationships you need to be proud of your partner to enable lasting relations.
You will have lot of need/swings for relationships moon opposite venus and mercury). This also makes you prone to liking both partners..... also the need for sudden and difficult results due to Mars.
Within 1 year from mid 2024 will be find you & stick to the kind of partner you actually prefer. Before this will be experimenting and finding out.
Click to expand...
Wow! That is a VERY long time. If this is the path I am not then maybe I should reconsider trying so hard to settle and find love NOW...I should probably relax a bit. I hope you don't mean being alone until that time...
Would marriage and family life suite my personality in your opinion?
I never thought about "being proud of my partner" as a need. But of course! I realize how important it is to respect my partner! :biggrin:
What type of personality/occupation would be a good partner?
Like you said...I'm not a very easy person in terms of having emotional ups and downs and needing love to be a spiritual experience/union of souls.
I am worried about Mars. at least I get the issue but that makes me question and fear relationships. No one wants a war in the area of love believe me...
You are a social person & your life will attract responsibilties due your birth details.
Click to expand...
I'm not very social, as I'm introverted. I can be a loner. If not asking too much, Curious what you mean by attracting responsibility.
Since 2012 life has made you less grounded in finding the what you need to do.....difficult life experiences affecting the 'self'.RishiRahul
Click to expand...
Yes..2012 has been very hard- a lot of broken dreams and having to face reality.
I also stopped trusting at around that year due to bad experiences.
I'n not all bad! :biggrin: but the romantic department has been difficult. So it is true I have been searching for answers.
 
R

rahu

Banned
PlutorisingLee said:
I absolutely agree it is important to work on a good relationship with yourself, boundaries, self-love...Thank you guys for sharing your experiences- it really makes me feel less alone in this!
You are beautiful.

The problem is- that how the more I worked towards developing these things the more alone I am. It like NOW with better boundaries and understanding my needs- I have no one I can date!
I don't want to date people I used to fall head over heal with..I can see it is not worth it.
Just "winging it" until I'm 30 is really now way to live..I have been alone for YEARS. I can admit I need a relationship to further grow. I can be alone if not lonely.

Also the more I analyze the less I'm sure about my sexuality. I agree about labels! 100% but I still want to know I'm doing the right thing.
It is such a painful thing to not know about this, to wonder if I'm in denial or honest with myself...To not commit or try dating anyone because I don't know yet.

Anyway..What does Astrology say on the matter?
Click to expand...

you might Sappho (80) to your chart as it will give a idea of your same sex sensibilities
rahu
 
RishiRahul

RishiRahul

Well-known member
RishiRahul said:
Hello,

Saturn is your soul significator, showing that you are only soul trying to search through life, but one who has abundant energy for experiencing life.

Every one of us has a final direction in life purpose.

In relationships you need to be proud of your partner to enable lasting relations.
You will have lot of need/swings for relationships moon opposite venus and mercury). This also makes you prone to liking both partners..... also the need for sudden and difficult results due to Mars.
Within 1 year from mid 2024 will be find you & stick to the kind of partner you actually prefer. Before this will be experimenting and finding out.

You are a social person & your life will attract responsibilties due your birth details.

Since 2012 life has made you less grounded in finding the what you need to do.....difficult life experiences affecting the 'self'.

RishiRahul
Click to expand...


PlutorisingLee said:
Thank you for your reply.
Like atmaKarka? So Saturn points to the major mission/driving force in my life?
I certainly have most of my difficulties be about Saturn and learning how to work hard and take responsibility. A lot of it is about...Saying no to love, pleasure and fun...Which I'm struggling with.

Is the way Saturn placed point out how I can better learn this lesson? Is it really about never having fun?
RishiRahul= Yes and no. There are other variables involved.
Like being more grounded to the real world & handling your nervous tension not letting you progress trying to find emotional harmony.


Wow! That is a VERY long time. If this is the path I am not then maybe I should reconsider trying so hard to settle and find love NOW...I should probably relax a bit. I hope you don't mean being alone until that time...
Would marriage and family life suite my personality in your opinion?
I never thought about "being proud of my partner" as a need. But of course! I realize how important it is to respect my partner! :biggrin:
What type of personality/occupation would be a good partner?
Like you said...I'm not a very easy person in terms of having emotional ups and downs and needing love to be a spiritual experience/union of souls.
I am worried about Mars. at least I get the issue but that makes me question and fear relationships. No one wants a war in the area of love believe me...

I'm not very social, as I'm introverted. I can be a loner. If not asking too much, Curious what you mean by attracting responsibility.
RishiRahul= Which will enable you to drift away from the real world. With practise you will become social. I see this have a start between mid 2019 & mid 2020.

Yes..2012 has been very hard- a lot of broken dreams and having to face reality.
I also stopped trusting at around that year due to bad experiences.
I'n not all bad! :biggrin: but the romantic department has been difficult. So it is true I have been searching for answers.
Click to expand...
RishiRahul= Your introverted nature is temporary. You are amply sexed.

RishiRahul
 
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