potentiality of masculine and feminine sides in a chart

Salme

Active member
Hello.
My husband is a 3D designer, he is completely into art and creative ideas, childish, relaxed and is not fond of expressing his manly sides of character. Like decisiveness in life, sports, confidence about his talents and work, career orientedness, leadership, generousity with the weak. I would rather call it solar expression then martian, but i am not so sure. I mean he does it from time to time, but needs some extra conditions to do so.
His mother is over protective and decisive. There were some short periods when he avoided her presence and influence, but a year ago her husband, his father died - he moved to her "to support" and ever after he is completely lost to me - rarely pays attention, lots of negativity, copies her thoughts and emotions, quarrels about unimportant trivial stuff. But also he dislikes her - his mother - because she is kind of oppressive and intrusive, mocking his hobbies, treating him always as a stupid child. I have intuitively supported him in his artistic expressions before i got acquainted to astrology, flattered, gave advice, helped in his work, but he seems to underestimate it all. His mom would always neglect his artistic expressions. --- And yet he definitely prefers her to me for more then a year now.
His mother and all his family has a lot of Taurus and Aries energies. So I guess they kind of represent his South node and I am sort of his North node figure. So he is attracted to me but might be uncomfortable. I guess I should invest a lot of energy to attract him and always bear comparison. While I have kids, work projects and need time simply for myself...
We've been together for 11 years, there were ups and downs, but i am honestly tired of this constant rivalry in which he considers himself a prize which is too much of a feminine behaviour and also makes him an underachiever in life while his potentiality is rather huge. I have now received a job invitation in my home town, more then 2000 kms from where we live now and I have to make the decision. He says that he will move after me when I am settled. But i am afraid that if i leave him completely under his Mom's influence his feminine and childish traits will only become worse. I am afraid i will loose him because i need a much more manlike partner, but i dislike rivalry and am tired of it.

So Cancer Moon, Taurus Venus, Libra North Node - all favours feminine self expression. While Mars square Saturn/ opposite Uranus - makes masculine expression oppressed... Looks like in every possible way he'd prefer the simple path of being more ladylike. In stress situations he'd always be decisive, but as soon as turbulence is gone he becomes twice as more girlish and whimiscal.
Please help me to understand if there is any chance he develops manlike character and get interested in expressing it? Or this is his fate to be more feminine and excitement\rivalry\drive\achievement-- is simply not for him?
 

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Zarathu

Account Closed
It looks like you've already made a decision.

People don't change unless they really really REALLY want to, and you husband sees no need to change. He's already getting everything that he wants.

But becoming more aggressively masculine is as hard to do as becoming more sensitive and feminine.

I think he is what he is, and maybe you have already made the decision to move on.

BTW, I went to do your husband's chart and....well.... I'm sorry. Almost no one is born exactly on the hour. This is an estimated time which could be as much as 4 minutes off. 40 minutes is a huge difference in the kind of astrology that I do, and so, without an accurate birth time, I cannot go any further.
 
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