Goodbye

I'm strongly considering leaving this world which I know I've tried before and I know threads get locked when you talk about these things. However, for whatever reason, some people on this forum like me so I just wanted to say that it's very possible I'm gonna leave this world soon and I thought the people who do care should know. If I become sure that I'm deciding not to do it anymore for now, I'll make a post about it

Please don't. The worst lows always pass.

Lykan,


You make this world more bearable for others with your voice. I don't know if that makes a difference in how you're feeling right now, but everything you are experiencing, maybe you are experiencing it so that those feelings can take form in your voice. Have a tangible home in the minds of your readers. I know that's not any consolation when you are in agony, but actually a life's work and purpose like you have is a very compelling reason to survive.

Sometimes I wonder how effective saying "No, don't do it!" really is in these situations.

Ok, I'm not really sure what the truth is anymore or if there really is anything for me to offer Earth. I'm just gonna buy a bottle of vodka for tonight, not leave the world

Yes, just get black out drunk. And when you get back write another stream of consciousness in your thread.

I need to check your transits. Must be something to your moon.

I hope you don't, because I genuinely appreciate you and your talents.

Hi there...

I have been there numerous times. I have had a belt around my neck. Tied to the ceiling. And there I was. Just seconds away from kicking the bucket. But the voice from deep down was just saying...'ok...just wait a little bit more. Just breathe. Now breathe out. Breathe in...breath out...slowly...' Just do this for me and if you feel like it - then do it.

It's something about knowing that these moments come in waves...that helped me each time I was close to ending my life. I know the feeling of desperation. When the pain is so intense and there is noone you can talk to. The silence of the room. The emptiness of the world and that same question you ask 'What can I give to this world anyways...'

But know this also...we cannot escape the pain. If you end this life, that load of pain is waiting for you in the next one. So you're just going to go back and forth...'The cure for the pain is in the pain...' Rumi says...So, just breathe...I cannot tell you not to do it because of people who love you, care about you...but just don't do it for yourself.

Life is suffering...you know what Buddha said? The world is a shitty place...I know. For each good thing you can find 10 times more bad ones...But, for some unknown reason we've been given this life to live, and it's our task to go through it...

I care, even though I know nothing about you. I care because I have been there. And I might still be there.

So just breathe...postpone it. Like you did it tonight. Cry. Just don't give up...<3

I don’t have your birth details so this is all I have eyeballing it. You’re going through some rough ****.

1) Transit Uranus through the 8th house has been at 28 Aries, squaring your Sun for a while now.
2) Transit Pluto and Saturn are both touching your Mercury-Neptune/Uranus opposition. Transit Saturn just passed your Vertex now, and Transit Pluto on your Neptune / Uranus within 2 degrees. Both are transiting the 5th, hitting the 11th.
3) Transit Neptune is opposing your Moon/Mars configuration. Neptune is transiting the 7th, it passed your DC a short while ago.

Are you thinking about doing this because of romance issues?

Transit Saturn/Pluto in 5th is tough. It literally drains the life out of you in terms of Joy and optimism. Opposing your retrograde Mercury, no wonder you are depressed.

Lykan, what you need to do during this time and this entire transit is to go help other people. Put that Moon and Mars in Virgo into good use. Combining your Virgo tendencies with your uber-sharp Pluto in 3rd abilities. Saturn is activating that Mars anyways. This looks to me to be the best use of this time.

If you are looking for relationships/love/romance, the transits aren't good. There's going to be disappointment and disillusionment here.

The best way to go is to be of service and go help others.

You have some superb capabilities on that front, and can be extremely useful to the world around you.

Forgot to add that blogging/writing and as CT suggested, doing 'stream of consciousness' style posts, will also help you a great deal. It won't matter if its here or on your personal blog. The important thing is a way to channel and release all that energy, get all those emotions out. You are going to want to publicize them or somehow express it outwardly. Since the resolution planets and placements are on your AC, and in your third.

How is your blog going?

I knew of someone who once went through a very dark, mind altering time who also started a blog. I remember it was up to one year. And she couldn't stop writing, she did it obsessively as a way to channel her energies.

Her blog now has 7 million hits, and she helps many others around the world as a private consultant.

Lykanized said:

I'm strongly considering leaving this world which I know I've tried before and I know threads get locked when you talk about these things. However, for whatever reason, some people on this forum like me so I just wanted to say that it's very possible I'm gonna leave this world soon and I thought the people who do care should know. If I become sure that I'm deciding not to do it anymore for now, I'll make a post about it

Click to expand...

If you are unhappy with your life, you can just change it. And believe me... most people think it takes a lot, but it really doesn't.

You know, one of the problems most people have is that... they somehow percieve themselves as the only ones experiencing certain problems, and they wrongfully assume others, which seem to be doing better, are having a bliss. Truth is most people have problems, some just are unfortunate that those problems seem to pile up. But when we open up you realise everyone is... sort of in the same place.

So talk to us, open up.

Lykanized said:

Ok, I'm not really sure what the truth is anymore or if there really is anything for me to offer Earth. I'm just gonna buy a bottle of vodka for tonight, not leave the world

Click to expand...

You know, I have some rum in the fridge. I wasn't planning to drink tonight but I'm going to pour some and drink along with you, wherever you might be right now.

Please get help outside the Forum

Lykanized,

This is NOT a suicide counseling station, it does not pretend to be, it does not have the right people, it is not staffed appropriately, it simply doesn't have the ability to give you the help you need. For that reason, the sooner you look AWAY from this forum, the sooner you can look for help in an area where people are going to give you the help you need.

But it CAN point you in the right direction. Our Forum members suggest going to these sites:
http://www.suicideprevention.ca/in-crisis-now/thinking-about-suicide/
http://www.cmha.ca/mental-health/find-help/emotional-wellness/
http://www.suicideforum.com/
http://www.takethislife.com/suicide-forums/
http://d2lrevolution.com/no-suicide-zone/?gclid=CJbqx42XprwCFWLHtAodQx4AKw

In accordance with Forum rules, I'm locking this thread down against further postings.

Locking down,

Tim