Freedom ,as for the situation, and how the evening went.I went ahead and did it ..laid it all out ..the good and the bad.Gave him a perfect chance for amiable freedom , no animosity and...in a matter of 4 days I have a place with him
Complete 360 ..I think I still have whiplash from it actually.AND it's a beautiful place and we can afford it !!My optimism is temperd and cautious though as I am ready for anything.
As far as living for relationships maybe I did at one point in time but I can certainly exist without a man.I don't need anyone elsees love besides my family,I will admit that is more important to me.
Lin , I have been married and after four years I left.It has taken almost 8 years of my life ( i did get a beautiful wonderful daughter from it so I believe things happen for reasons ).I'm still in the divorce process and it has been a very long and hard and stressful process but what doesnt kill you can only make you stronger.It was a disaster though with far reaching ramification on my quality of life.
After I left I was single for almost two years.I re-centered myself and rediscovered who I am and reclaimed what he had taken from me.My sensitivity,creativity,zest for life,patience and faith in other people.
I always had relationships where it moved very quickly.I have been seeing this man for over a year and exclusively dating for a year.The first man I have ever been with that had anything in common with me.My ex was my polar opposite.I mistook his vacancy inside ( he was a crab with nothing on the inside ..just a shell or husk of person) for shyness and well I found out the hard way.I had a very discreet wedding as well...
I DO put a lot of effort into my relationships, and when I am in one I do invest a lot of myself and they are very important to me when I am in them.
I do not think I will ever marry again.I do not crave it,I do not feel inadequate if I don't have that I don;t ever want to be trapped like that ever again.I have maintained this thought for going on 3 years I don't see it changing any time soon.So my present arrangment works very well for me.
I only have a 6 month lease though as this is a litmus test ( regardless if anyone thinks its right or wrong to live together I feel it's right for me and I WISH i would have done that for my ex I could have saved myself a LOT of grief )
I have looked extensivly at the synastry (even though I'm only a beginner )and had actually posted a thread which I intended to update because I had gotten some figures wrong relating to daylight savings time.I have yet to get the chance to sit down to reconstruct my post.I know enough that it's not a perfect realtionship and our mars opp does get in the way and we do have issues.I will have to see which issues persists once our living arrangment is settled and how we cope with that and what other astorlogical factors are highlighted.
Trouble with him I mainly see is that he is stuck in his south node.I have recently brought this up to him and showed him the charastisics he should be working toward to feel fullfilled in this life ..Characteristics that could likely strengthen our relationship.Trouble with me is that I am terrified of conforntation , real fear response ..so much though that I say nothing for ages.I have gotten a bit better with day to day things but big issues I lock inside of me and come to my own conclusions partially because I am afraid of the answer.This is an ongoing prolem not only with my boyfriend but everyone,the whole world .You'd think having aries rising would help ..for me all it does is make me angry inside and unable to express it.It's like being torn apart ..all the time.If anyone does want to look at the charts and see what I think of it I can post them sometime later this weekend, I would appreciate the input greatly but bear in mind I have the view that obstcles can be overcome with enough work and awareness and I can graciously accept the ending of a relationship and move on with pain and grief and loss but with my whole self intact because I don't need anyone else to make me whole.Wanting someone to love and share yourself and your love with is natural to me but need is a strong word and I don;t feel anyone should "need" anyone else.
I also want to thank you both for replaying and even taking a peek at my chart your time,opinions and thoughts are appreciatly greatly