Irisiel
Well-known member
I'm a Moon square Pluto. Apparently this means everything from can't -let-it-go to self-destruction. Ticking time bomb!
I'm also Moon square Mercury, Moon square Chiron, Moon square Saturn, and Moon square Uranus. And it's been dawning on me for some time that I AM my own worst enemy, but am I stuck like this forever?
The thing that has really forced the issue is now, 2 years later, I'm struggling to move beyond the death of my big brother. It was untimely and hard for all of us: my parents in their 80s buried their son. My sister-in-law, having been married to him 30 years, was largely doped up and sleeping away that 1st year.
But my anger and repressed pain outlived even her bereavement. I was gonna show the universe just how long and how stubbornly I could fight against accepting his death.
Now I see this is classic Moon Square Pluto, and it's been holding me back all kinds of ways. I have huge trust issues, not the least of which with myself. I'm unattached at age 55 and emotionally isolated, blaming all kinds of things (genius, neurological issues, my buck teeth) for why no one understands me.
Okay, it's never been complete gloom and doom! but you get the point. I'm trying really hard right now to get past all these self-inflicted obstacles and trust myself to be of use to others.
I've had a lot of cool things happen in my life, even some minor miracles, and I'm a writer, but have trouble believing I could ever connect with others enough for my writing to be useful, either.
Is there hope in the knowledge that I'm gleaning here from astrology?
(adding natal chart)
I'm also Moon square Mercury, Moon square Chiron, Moon square Saturn, and Moon square Uranus. And it's been dawning on me for some time that I AM my own worst enemy, but am I stuck like this forever?
The thing that has really forced the issue is now, 2 years later, I'm struggling to move beyond the death of my big brother. It was untimely and hard for all of us: my parents in their 80s buried their son. My sister-in-law, having been married to him 30 years, was largely doped up and sleeping away that 1st year.
But my anger and repressed pain outlived even her bereavement. I was gonna show the universe just how long and how stubbornly I could fight against accepting his death.
Now I see this is classic Moon Square Pluto, and it's been holding me back all kinds of ways. I have huge trust issues, not the least of which with myself. I'm unattached at age 55 and emotionally isolated, blaming all kinds of things (genius, neurological issues, my buck teeth) for why no one understands me.
Okay, it's never been complete gloom and doom! but you get the point. I'm trying really hard right now to get past all these self-inflicted obstacles and trust myself to be of use to others.
I've had a lot of cool things happen in my life, even some minor miracles, and I'm a writer, but have trouble believing I could ever connect with others enough for my writing to be useful, either.
Is there hope in the knowledge that I'm gleaning here from astrology?
(adding natal chart)
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