...Yeah, im confident (hah the irony) that those oppositions are creating a great deal of confusion in regards to identity. My parents were also very supportive but in a financial way.. it's difficult to explain but they have always been their to help me but there's no actual 'connection' between myself and them, growing up they were more like people i shared a house with. They are both Air sun signs.
Sounds familiar - my mom is a Capricorn sun and my dad is a Capricorn moon, so there was a heavy focus on school and career in my childhood atmosphere that I never connected to and it didn't help me a lot with my personal development. Since I've broken away from this, I've transferred colleges and changed my major because I'm starting to realize that all of my decisions were made with my family's desires in mind rather than my own.. I've fought many many mental battles of this nature with myself.
Yeah i believe i come across as very Gemini in social situations, i don't think my Cancer sun even reveals itself, but with this lack of Sun energy i often feel like im not fully 'there' in a sense.
One of my biggest weaknesses is getting lost in my thoughts, daydreaming, overthinking the future, replaying moments, essentially not living in the present. Basically, having trouble relating to my environment, and not being body-conscious enough. I had social anxiety through my teenage years - trust me, being a teenage girl with this combo can be a REALLY scary thing, we're crazy enough as it is! My anxiety is something that may have taken a bit of drug use for me to learn to overcome... (am I allowed to say that here? lol)
I also went through a similar phase where i repressed my emotions and valued rationality over emotion for a very long time; once i started to open up to my emotions and let them flow i found my relationships with people improved and felt more warm? But that gemini moon cause's my emotions to fluctuate and i can never really be sure if what im feeling is justified or not.. or that once the rationality crumbles away it reveals it'self to be an emotional response.
There seems to be this over-cautiousness towards emotions perpetuated by the Gemini moon.
I bet you question your feelings a lot. How do you feel about this? Now, why do you feel this way? Is it because it's something you really care about? Or because it's something you THINK you should care about? Why do you want this? You are constantly trying to form a connection between your emotions and your thoughts and experiences, but sometimes it just seems like it doesn't make sense or add up. You often seem to "feel" things for no reason and then try desperately to rationalize those emotions. I often find myself thinking "there's literally NO reason for me to feel this way, but somehow I do." It's the irrational NEGATIVE emotions (like fear) that we have to learn to repress, and the irrational POSITIVE emotions (like love) that we have to learn to accept.
Yeah i seem to swing between the two. I 'can' be at home alone and be fine with it for a while.. but to much of it and i get severely depressed; which is odd because when i was younger it wasn't a problem. I prefer social situations, with that much Gemini i need constant stimulation.. and i enjoy the attention that comes from Leo.
Likewise - in my childhood I would spend a lot of time alone and find myself quite sad, and I realize that I need social stimulation in my life every day. I definitely prefer to be with people, but at the end of the day I still NEED time alone, and will sometimes spend hours in my room reading or drawing or listening to music until I get bored - and then I'll spend hours and hours with friends. It's about the balance between these two - I think that it's important to have that time alone with your thoughts, to reflect on things, so that during social time you can try to be more present and call upon your social qualities.
Do you feel like you tend to have a "poker face" when interacting with others? Is it hard for you to express your emotions? I have a tendency to keep a straight face when I'm around other people, as some sort of defense mechanism to keep my feelings safe and personal. Your masculinity might intensify this, making you feel like you need to keep your feelings inside - don't be afraid to let them show! I honestly haven't realized until lately that people always ask me what's wrong, and say I need to smile more. so I've been trying to be more animated and "warm" as you said. It's also probably related to a general detachment from my environment due to conditioning in younger years, overall I need to be more in touch with my surroundings (start by minimizing time spent watching TV, on the computer, on your cellphone, force yourself to make observations.) I've found that exercise and art are both really good outlets for my nervous energy, and once I rid of it, it's easier for me to relax and act upon my feelings. of course not fully - it is in the Cancerian nature to internalize your feelings. but try to communicate your more basic day-to-day functional emotions like excitement, pleasure, amusement, etc, just try not to be expressionless!
Longtime Friends:
Very slow with old friends, i don't feel the need to fill in silence with talk as much as i do with new people. I would even say that perhaps this is where my cancer sun is expressed to a degree..
Same - I am only very open about my feelings with my closest friends - as it should be! My best friend is also a Cancer, with Pisces Moon & Sag Rising, and she doesn't act like a Cancer at ALL in social situations (she's a social butterfly, comes off independent and tough as nails), but when it's just me and her she'll cry into my shoulder for hours. A lot of Cancers are like this, including you and myself, and I don't think we need to beat ourselves up over it. It's OK to act differently around others than you act by yourself or with close friends, as long as you aren't denying yourself any feelings and form a relationship/understanding between both sides of yourself.
