Hello, everybody! My story is quite long, but I'll try to make it as short as possible. I've been secretly loving a man for the past nine years. I'm not a kid anymore, I'm 38 and he's 44, so trust me with using the l-word. It's not a crush or an infatuation, I truly love him. I've always felt connected to him in a way beyond reason, so there was no surprise to find out his Nodal Axis overlaps my Asc-Desc Axis, besides his SN being right on my Sun and the composite Sun, Venus and Jupiter conjunct in the composite 8th. We've definitely met before and I believe I must have done something terrible to him, so now it's pretty much payback time.
I have tried so hard to get to him, but failed miserably each time. All my pride got shred into pieces over and over again, but I never gave up, for I was confident he was worth it. And eventually, just 20 days ago, the miracle happened: I sent him a message on Messenger and he replied. We had an amazing chat, smart and witty and flirty and the next day he sent me a link to a song named after me. Then we had a longer chat, one whole Sunday afternoon, which we called our virtual date, and he said it had never occured to him that a woman as beautiful as I am would care for someone like him. He said a lot of things that proved to me what I always knew deep down: that he loved me just as I loved him. I can't even begin to describe the sheer happiness I felt that night. All my dreams were coming true! I wasn't even able to go to sleep, I was up all night thinking about him and about our glorious future together...
However, our next chat was an icy shower. It was like he was a totally different person. He was short, cold and quite rude, since he simply exited Messenger without saying anything. I asked what had happened and he replied after a while saying he was going to bed. That's when things got really baffling: I realized he had started using the ignore function for my messages. They would appear undelivered, but he could still read them without my knowing that. So last night I messaged him for the last time, asking him to block me rather than to ignore me. It just seemed fairer, if he really didn't want to speak to me anymore. And he did just that. When I checked my phone in the morning, he had already blocked me.
To my shame, I must confess to having casted a dozellion horary charts these past few days, trying to understand what in the world is going on, and I obviously can't rely on any of them. If maybe somebody here would find it in their heart to cast a chart of their own concerning my question, I would be forever grateful to them. My best guess is that he does love me, but he's afraid to open up and give it a try. Our lives are rather complicated at the moment, we live in different cities now and will soon be living in different countries. I'm attaching the event chart for the first message I sent him and he replied to. I know: Moon (me) exalted and void, Saturn (him) into himself and hurting Moon, Sun (message) on an anaretic degree... The chart shows a dead end, it's pretty clear to me, but why can't I help feeling it's not over? I strongly believe there is something about this man that keeps me gravitating around him. Something more powerful than me or him that will, eventually, bring us together, even in our 60's (although I hope it won't be that long).
I promised I'd make it short, but I wrote an entire novel. And it was just for the past 20 days, do you imagine how much I would be able to write about the whole nine years period? To those who are patient enough to read my sad story, thank you so much! Should you reply, too, it would be great!
Luna Plina
I have tried so hard to get to him, but failed miserably each time. All my pride got shred into pieces over and over again, but I never gave up, for I was confident he was worth it. And eventually, just 20 days ago, the miracle happened: I sent him a message on Messenger and he replied. We had an amazing chat, smart and witty and flirty and the next day he sent me a link to a song named after me. Then we had a longer chat, one whole Sunday afternoon, which we called our virtual date, and he said it had never occured to him that a woman as beautiful as I am would care for someone like him. He said a lot of things that proved to me what I always knew deep down: that he loved me just as I loved him. I can't even begin to describe the sheer happiness I felt that night. All my dreams were coming true! I wasn't even able to go to sleep, I was up all night thinking about him and about our glorious future together...
However, our next chat was an icy shower. It was like he was a totally different person. He was short, cold and quite rude, since he simply exited Messenger without saying anything. I asked what had happened and he replied after a while saying he was going to bed. That's when things got really baffling: I realized he had started using the ignore function for my messages. They would appear undelivered, but he could still read them without my knowing that. So last night I messaged him for the last time, asking him to block me rather than to ignore me. It just seemed fairer, if he really didn't want to speak to me anymore. And he did just that. When I checked my phone in the morning, he had already blocked me.
To my shame, I must confess to having casted a dozellion horary charts these past few days, trying to understand what in the world is going on, and I obviously can't rely on any of them. If maybe somebody here would find it in their heart to cast a chart of their own concerning my question, I would be forever grateful to them. My best guess is that he does love me, but he's afraid to open up and give it a try. Our lives are rather complicated at the moment, we live in different cities now and will soon be living in different countries. I'm attaching the event chart for the first message I sent him and he replied to. I know: Moon (me) exalted and void, Saturn (him) into himself and hurting Moon, Sun (message) on an anaretic degree... The chart shows a dead end, it's pretty clear to me, but why can't I help feeling it's not over? I strongly believe there is something about this man that keeps me gravitating around him. Something more powerful than me or him that will, eventually, bring us together, even in our 60's (although I hope it won't be that long).
I promised I'd make it short, but I wrote an entire novel. And it was just for the past 20 days, do you imagine how much I would be able to write about the whole nine years period? To those who are patient enough to read my sad story, thank you so much! Should you reply, too, it would be great!
Luna Plina
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