Scared of people

I'm scared of people, I think people are evil and want to harm me(serious).
I tend to think that they despise me and they talk evil about me.
Does anyone have the same problem?

Hint: Tom Cruise has the same problem. Don't think it's much of a rare condition.

Michael, I think you should do something about this feeling, otherwise you will never be a happy person. I just came upon a very interesting site and it is all about getting rid of bad emotions and more. Why dont you look at it and give it a try. I know loads of people who did it and are absolutely astonished about the results (which happen almost instanteneous!)-
The site is called www.tapping.com . I hope you give it a try.
By the way, I did not know Tom Cruise had this problem being such a public figure! Where did you read that?!

Hi Michael,

Starlink is right,you should talk to someone.Have you ever talked to a psychologist?Such a professional would certainly help you with your feelings.

You have strong Virgo influences.This can make you very picky,not only about yourself and your own life,but also about the world surrounding you.You have Virgo on the Ascendant-the Ascendnat is how we 'navigate' through life,the 'mask' we present to others.With the Sun and Mercury in Virgo your Ascendnat is more than a mask,is who you really are.Virgo has the gift of humblessness-but too much humblessness leads to a feeling of inferiority.

Pluto is the master when it comes to feelings of "people talking evil" behind one's back.You have Pluto in the house of self-worth,in the sign of relationsips,Libra.You also have a2nd house Saturn,and Saturn is disposit by Pluto.Do you think low of yourself?With all that Virgo energy and these two in the2nd there may be a feeling of not being good enough.

You have a Venus/Mars conjunction in Leo in the12th.Leo is very creative and outgoing and seeks other's atention and admiration,but Leo cannot shine in the12th,where it is hidden.So you do want other people's atention but it may be like there's something holding you back from getting it,probably somehing coming from within.

Best wishes,
Lissa

By the way,have you ever done this test- http://www.personalitytest.net/ipip/ipipneo1.htm ?I find it a very helpful tool for psychological evalutaion.Helps shedding light onto some aspect of one's character.

Greetings,
Lissa

Very good analysis Lissa! This fear is quite paranoid, but it depends on how severe the fear is. It could very well come from deep inside and caused by happenings at home, resulting in strong self doubt and even self dislike, hence the fact that you think that others dont like you. Someone must once have told you that you are awful or something like that and you probably started to believe it(even though you do not realize it. Now you believe that others also dont like you.
About childhood, early environment: Jupiter, ruler of the 4th is conjunct Uranus and this conjunction is unaspected, it stands out. + there is Neptune in the 4th square Mercury, ruler Sun and Ascendant.
Something to do with separation (from the parents) and deception or severe desillusion.

Thank you to Starlink and Lissa for the advice. If you doubt what I said about Tom Cruise read
this http://www.buffalobeast.com/73/feature6.htm. It seems
many famous people suffer from my problem especially actors.

I have tryied many psychologists. However I was left with the impression that they were mediocre and didn't know how to help me. Maybe I was being intolerant with them, or maybe I was right, I'm not sure. Either way the best psychologists were too expensive for my budget, so it's no surprise what I encountered.

Hi Michael, I am glad you did try to get help for this problem, even though you have not yet found the right therapist. Do try out that site I mentioned: www.tapping.com . It is really helpful. They claim that 2-3 hour session (doing it by yourself) is the equivalent of 5 years!! of psychotherapy.

I read this article of "Beast" about Tom Cruise. Even thought the analysis might be right, I do not like people calling other people "Dicks" and "Asses". People who talk like that obviously have a problem themselves. I dont know what other articles they wrote, but if they are all so detrimental, it really shows that these people are extremely envious of anyone who is famous and are desperately looking to hurt these people.They cannot stand it that someone else has made it bigger than themselves and attract just as much (negative!!) attention to themselves in order to feel good. If you know why Tom Cruise became the way he apparently (according to them!) is, then have understanding and compassion for him. Look at other actors, I mean, most of them show the same traits as Tom Cruise, they ALL suffer from inflated ego's and/or low self esteem. That is what actors are all about. They mostly have very strong Neptune influences in their charts. They can escape easily into "another person" on stage or in a movie. They almost all have drug issues (most very creative and famous people have that, it is normal in those circles, they all pass most of their time spaced out, either because of alcohol, like Richard Burton, or drugs like Jimmy Hendricks. And more often than not they come from very poor, A-social backgrounds as well. Look at weirdo Michael Jackson. He is a very very poor soul and I really feel for him. Why should I call him a dick? or anyone of them for that matter. He spends millions every day, shopping unnecessary things. I hope you agree with this.
By the way, it says a lot about Tom, but not that he is afraid of people.

I bookmarked the tapping site, thank you. I'll check it later.

I think you are right about your opinion on The Beast. They are clearly
envious and want to take revenge against the rich and famous. However
most news sources are too sweet and mediocre, at least these guys are
trying to break the barriers of conformism.

What I said about Tom being afraid of people may be stretching things too
much. However It could be argued that he is afraid of his own limitations
and of what other people think about him, and that could be construed of
being afraid of himself and others, and that could explain why he has to
cope with a false persona.

Definitely a good analysis, Lissa... And love your ever-changing avatar graphic, seems every time I read a new post from you you've got some cool new image!

Good psychologists are hard to find! Most of them are trained in clinical psychology, which has the emphesis on what's wrong with you rather than how to help you grow at your core. Of course, the good ones are out there, and I do hope you can find one, but certainly don't waste your time and money on those who are not helping you.

The closest aspect in your chart is a Mercury-Neptune square.. Mercury rules your 1st, Neptune your 7th... So, the rulers of the axis of relationship are in conflict. This is going to put a rough edge on your relationships overall, and a need for adjustment. Simply put, this indicates a strong feeling of friction between you (ascendant) and the other (descendant). The biggest concern here is that you constantly feel "on edge" when you relate to people, which is going to amplify the critical nature of your Virgo placements as Lissa has spoke of.

Pisces on the 7th cusp, coupled with the relating planets (Mars & Venus, natural rules of the 1st/7th) in the 12th (Neptune's natural house, IE a house that feels like Neptune) give Neptune/Pisces energy a very big factor in your relationships - These are very important and synergistic placements.

There is also an interesting setup between Venus, Neptune and your south node. Venus is in wide trine to both Neptune and the south node, but if you establish the midpoint of the wide ~6 degree SN/Neptune conjunct, 23Sag33, it is in exact trine to your Venus at 23Leo33. Trines aren't generally used in midpoints, but since we're really dealing with two individual trines and simply observing how the center of the conjunction is perfectly trine Venus, it certainly is an interesting consideration, amplifying the importance of Venus trine Neptune&South Node, as if it were to reduce the orb. If Venus is relating, Neptune surrendering the self (ego), and south node what we have to move away from, this would indicate part of your growth path is to overcome your tendency to surrender yourself in relationships. This seems to be a common theme in your chart, Virgo-Pisces on the axis of relationship, as well as their rulers in square. It's hard to ignore so many synchronsitic placements.

The danger here is that you feel overly vulnerable, since the nature of Neptune-Pisces is to connect and merge with others rather than stand for one's own individuality and separateness. Boundaries can be lacking, as if others have some ability to "barge in" to your personal space. As Starlink mentioned, Neptune influence allows one to jump into others, but on the converse, can allow others to jump into you due to lack of boundaries. While I don't encourage anyone to build up a fortress to the world, some boundaries need to exist between you and other people. This is the Uranus/Neptune balance, an individual (Uranus) yet connected (Neptune) to others at the same time. Neither side is "better", what's best is a healthy balance here.

Hi Michael,

Michael said:

I'm scared of people, I think people are evil and want to harm me(serious).
I tend to think that they despise me and they talk evil about me.
Does anyone have the same problem?

Click to expand...

I was looking at your chart for ages trying to figure this out. But I am not completely 100% per cent sure if I have it right. You have your Sun in Virgo which rules your 12th house - this can mean you bring your weaknesses/fears paranoia's out in front of people. Your Sun Conjuncts Mercury in Virgo in the 1st so there is a lot of analysing going on. Virgo can not only get caught up in analysing but criticising and Virgo is the most self-critical of all the signs, so a part of this may be your own self critical nature.

I think with you having such an analytic self expression, and Mercury is about our perception you do have Neptune in the 4th in a tight square with your Chart ruler Mercury. Your thinking (critical obsessive analysis) can be getting a little distorted and your not seeing the true reality of the situation. The information your receiving (from the 1st house as you look out in the world and at others) is being distorted, by Irrational fears (Neptune).

The Moon in Scorpio is in the 3rd house - Scorpio is the most paranoid of signs, and can be very suspicious of people in general. The Scorpion has very strong survival instincts and can easily feel threatened, whether the threat is real or imagined. The Moon in the 3rd house - rules over your perceptions and how you think and view the immediate environment. Having the Scorpio Moon here adds to the feelings of paranoia of the mind. The Moon in Scorpio squares Mars/and Venus in the 12th. An over-reaction to the paranoid thoughts. Plus your feelings (Moon/Scorpio) of being attacked (Mars), by evil people who are hidden or hiding their true motivations (12th). The whole mistrustful nature you have. The Moon/Mars person is very aware of threats and can be very over protective. I have 3 people close to me with this aspect my mother, sister and my boyfriend and they are all highly sensitive/protective people especially to the perceived threat of an attack.

With Neptune on your south Node and Mercury square the Nodes, what is causing you difficulty in moving towards your future goals is your thinking (I have Mercury square Neptune myself, so I understand the confusion this aspect can bring) your North Node in Gemini in the 10th house is about communicating, your knowledge to the outer world. Try not to let the irrational fears hold you back, or you will feel isolated and confused and remain in your 4th house/inner world (Neptune/4th). I think what this nodal placement may mean for you is that once you go out in the world and communicate to others about yours fears, you will find that we all have our own paranoid feelings and fears. And not everyone has a hidden agenda to get you. You will see the true reality of the world.

We all have moments of paranoia, I went through it myself I was bullied a lot in school, mostly mental bullying, and I was very afraid to approach people. If anyone laughed on the bus, I immediately thought they were laughing about me, and would feel embarrassed, so your not the only one. I try not to let it rule my life. I don't know how severe your problem is or whether or not it is affecting your enjoyment of life. But you really need to go out there and communicate. I know easier said than done. But keep trying.

Paranoia is ego upside-down.

Starlink, I find interesting that you where bullied mentally as I were, it's somewhat fortunate that I was not physically bullied. I was mentally abused by my aunts and mother. Not to mention school bullies. They saw me completely powerless, and extremely vulnerable, and their predatory instinct went nuts. And of course my self-esteem suffered greatly.

My mother liked to scare me that she was going to leave me. I remember an event where we were going in a car on vacation. She used a treath, making us think that she was going to leave the car. Of course my father told her to get out of the car then, however I was too weak to accept that, and begged her not to leave. She acted in a terribly cruel manner to me, fortunately then she didn't leave the car, she was powerless in the inside, it was just a mask she likes to wear.

Update: Ooops, I confused Shining Ray with Starlink.

Hi Michael,

Mental bullying can have such a strong impact on your life. I have struggled with self-esteem issues for years, after all the verbal abuse I received from my schooldays. It took a long time for me to learn to trust people. The Moon/Mars aspect you have explains the relationship with your mother by how you described her, with her mental bullying and the car incident with that Scorpio Moon in 3rd (which rules cars/and communcation) and her threatening to leave. You were just a child, and it must have been very frightening for you thinking your mother was going to leave you. It probably explains a lot of the fears you have today and why you are scared of people. As I said my mother has this aspect and her Mother was very cruel to her as well. She also suffered low self worth for quite a few years.

I don't know how much you have read up on the Moon/Mars aspect in your chart. Have you read the Sue Tompkins book Astrology Aspects. There is a really good description in there which explains this aspect a lot. I posted the Moon/Mars chapter here on the forum. I will try to find it and post it here.

I found it .

Moon - Mars

quoting Sue Tompkins - Aspects in Astrology.

Fierce protection. Quick nurturing response. Sensitivity to discord. Angry feelings. Emotional conflict. Sexual feelers.

Rather like Sun—Mars, those with hard aspects between the Moon and Mars have a very strong need to 'do', to act, to roll up their sleeves and get on with the project in hand. Commonly there is much activity around the domestic scene, and the home is often not so much a place to retreat from where the individual may recharge their batteries, as the reason for those batteries getting run down in the first place. Typically, there are lots of comings and goings and snatched meals. The individual may find this exhilarating or exhausting depending upon the nature of the aspect, the overall feel of the chart and the condition of the 4th house in particular.

Usually there is plenty of emotional action in the individual's life, together with internal emotional conflict. Often the individual finds it difficult to integrate their need to take one course of action in order to feed one emotional need whilst having to take a different course of action in order to feed some different, seemingly conflicting emotional need. For example, safety, home, familiarity versus independence and sexual excitement. Sometimes there is emotional action in the life, as in arguments and plates flying around. Frequently though, the individual will have come from such an atmosphere and may take pains not to repeat it. All Moon—Mars contacts give rise to people who are very sensitive to any kind of conflict as well as any kind of threat.

Although Moon—Mars combinations may be associated with 'touchy' behaviour and sometimes a tendency to fly off the handle very easily, people with the hard aspects especially, often find it difficult to express their anger. Whilst this may result in them going overboard in attempting to make their position abundantly clear, it may also sometimes result in the individual being unable to express their anger, perhaps through fear of the consequences. The fixed signs are especially prone to hold on to their rage and then just letting rip every once in a while, whilst the mutable signs tend to express their anger through irritability and carping behaviour.

Some Moon—Mars people speak of an early home life (and this is especially the case with the opposition, I have found) where the parents or other family figures 'never argued' but nevertheless were extremely angry with each other. Typically the Moon—Mars child would have picked up on all the unexpressed rage and, like a sponge, absorbed it.

Charles Carter describes the Moon—Mars type as usually kind-hearted, sympathetic and keen to help. Certainly people with this combination are nearly always very protective.

Basically, people with these contacts have to integrate their need to assert themselves with their need to feel safe. On the whole the Moon-Mars person is a very good individual to have on your side, for they will seek to take care of you. With the hard aspects though, the individual may sometimes act like a mother whose children are about to be snatched away from her or accused of something. The problem with the hard aspects especially is, as always, the possibility of going too far and in this case, jumping in too quick. The Moon—Mars type may jump in and fight your battles, well before you even realised you were at war.

Basically, the feelings of this type are very easily and very quickly aroused. The person is usually used to feeling unsafe and is very quick to smell danger and thus cultivates speedy reactions and responses — the kind of reactions that sometimes save lives. Like Sun—Mars, Moon—Mars may be courageous, enterprising and fearless. To feel is to act for Moon—Mars. The problem may be that they react out of habit, and out of habit they may expect conflict. It can take those with the hard aspects a long time to realise that they and their loved ones are not continually under threat and that there is no reason to believe or behave as if World War III is about to break out at any moment, or that it might do so if one makes the wrong response. Sometimes, because the type is so frightened of conflict they can go too far in rushing to the defence, so it may well be a Moon—Mars person who ends up firing the first shot.

The need to protect the self and more especially one's family and others with whom there is an emotional bond is usually keenly developed with all aspects. Not uncommonly, the family were threatened in some way in childhood, if not by anger or violence within the household, then by some threat from outside.

As has been said, frequently those with these contacts came from highly volatile families where the mother-figure especially might be expected to explode at any moment.

One man with the opposition in his chart described to me how threatened he still often feels when confronted with what he sees as very assertive women. He found his own mother to be very explosive, whilst the father was very passive and seemingly unable to express his anger in any direct kind of way. Apparently his mother was the kind of person to make scenes in restaurants and pick fights with his schoolteachers. He describes himself now as 'very sensitive to discord' and 'reluctant to break any kind of emotional atmosphere'. A key phrase for this combination might well be 'fiercely protective' and as well as saying something about the individual it will often be describing the mother-figure in an exaggerated and caricatured way. I have known cases where the mother was so pushy and lived so much in expectation of some danger befalling her offspring that she went everywhere with the child. Sometimes she competes with the child and thus on another level unconsciously wants something awful to happen to the child (it works both ways of course: Moon—Mars people often fantasise about shooting their mother!).

Returning to this idea of Mum going everywhere, in one case I know of, she even went on the honeymoon. And this is interesting too because there is often a strong sexual tie with the mother-figure and early emotional bonding often has unusually strong sexual overtones.

Often the mother-figure competes with the child (generally or in sexual matters) or with others and sometimes Moon—Mars people have the same kind of conflict with competing that they have with anger, either being over-competitive or frightened of seeming so.

I associate abortion, miscarriage and premature birth with Moon—Mars contacts and sometimes the conjunction, especially if it falls in or rules the 5th house. It's as if the nurturing impulse is too quick, too sharp to go the full term. This quick but truncated nurturing response is usually what the Moon—Mars type is raised on, as if the bottle is always about to be taken away from the baby before it's finished feeding. Little wonder that in extreme cases the Moon—Mars type often behaves like an enraged infant screaming for its food. It is often issues around food and feeding that arouse anger with these aspects.

The hard aspects particularly with these planets can be associated with digestive upsets and stomach ulcers. This can sometimes be traced to the fact that the person eats when they are angry or eats to keep down angry feelings. And early feeding was often itself carried out by an angry and frustrated mother-figure or at least a mother who was always doing something. Sometimes she pursued a sexual relationship outside the marriage so that the child feels that they have to compete with this third figure for her attention.

Sometimes the individual with these aspects is born to a very young mother, and again one might think of the Moon—Mars of the woman who gives birth very quickly and also of the image of a very sexual mother.

Inevitably issues of anger and mother go together with these contacts either in that the individual is angry with their mother (almost inevitable or that the mother was perceived as an angry person (often) or that the Moon—Mars person gets angry on her behalf. Those with the conjunction are usually able to recognise themselves as angry and often as angry with their mother, whilst those with the opposition aspect usually spend some time believing that it is other people who are angry and other people who are responsible for discord.

The anger of the Moon—Mars person, like their sexuality, is often smouldering and broody. Rather like one of these dragons in childhood books, where the dragon is really rather a sympathetic character but breathes steam through his nostrils.

The Moon—Mars type will as often be found fighting on behalf of their roots and their past as fighting to get away from those roots. In cases of marital break-up there is often heated debate about property. The individual will often find themselves fighting for their security in different ways in their lives and fighting over the marital home is just one example of how this may become embodied. Fate sometimes seems to ensure that Moon—Mars people are not allowed to feel too physically safe in order that they be forced to discover what really constitutes safety or lack of it on emotional levels.

People with these contacts usually settle down and have a family quite early on in their lives. Often there is a feeling that there will be no time later on to do those things and that there may be no potential partners around to do them with. Basically, the person is often impatient for a home and a family.

Moon—Mars hard aspect types sometimes overeat or over-drink and occasionally may be overweight, if the configuration falls in appropriate signs. Frequently, on many emotional and often physical levels the child was not fed properly and was perhaps weaned too quickly in childhood. Sometimes there was competition for the mother's attention and sometimes actual competing for food. In any event, people with extreme Moon—Mars issues may eat as if they are in a race or as if the meal is going to be snatched away from them at any moment. Being overweight can also often be seen as a way of protecting the self, for the Moon—Mars person often feels unprotected. The vulnerable and fragile individual seeks to protect themselves behind an armour-plating of fat. There is also an impulsiveness about eating with Moon—Mars and indeed an impulsiveness about all forms of nurturance, whether of the self or others. I suspect that those with Moon—Mars hard contacts may often drink and eat out of the need for 'Dutch courage'.

One of the great virtues of Moon—Mars is that the individual with these contacts will usually be honest and direct about expressing their feelings (although some with the hard aspects may be just too direct for others' comfort). Usually there is a strong need to make the feelings clear with a corresponding dislike of emotional ambiguity. This combination can be associated with emotional courage.

People with these contacts usually have an instinctual feeling for sexual response and they can also be quite direct about sexual matters. Men especially, though, sometimes exude a sullen, moody, resentful, smouldering kind of sexuality with these contacts and yet manage to be baby-faced at the same time. An obvious example of this can be found in the chart of Marion Brando, who has a Sun—Moon—Mars—Pluto T-square which also involves the Moon and Mars signs Cancer and Aries. Sometimes Moon—Mars is not merely baby-faced, but in behaviour seems rather demanding in the way that a baby is, and again I think this can often be traced to issues around the mother putting out sexual feelers to the infant child.

The Moon—Mars combination is a splendid one for active involvement in decorating, carpentry, interior design and all other 'Do-it-Yourself projects. I often suggest to Moon—Mars people who feel that they have a lot of anger they don't know how to channel, to do something physical around the house — knock down a wall or paint the ceiling or something. This is also an ideal mix for work in the catering trade and for other vocations where the individual is actively involved with nurturing others; or where they can legitimately give vent to angry feelings, as might a radical politician or a hellfire preacher.
__________________

Thank you both Unukalhai and Starlink for the compliments,I wouldn't even think about looking at Neptune here.But it makes sense,with Neptune as the modern ruler of your7th squaring your chart ruler,you are deluded in the way you look at people.

As hard as it can be,try to relax-from your chart,I don't think people genuinely want to hurt you,it's more about the way you perceive things.

Best wishes,
Lissa

Hi Michael, just for the record, it was Shining Ray who wrote to you that she had been bullied in school, not me, but guess what:so was I !! And not only by other children but also by teachers, mainly female!! But I always had one other child who helped me, always a boy, I still remember their names (two different schools). I still get along better with men than with women.(because of that???)
I also married a man who abused me mentally, never physically. He put me down at every opportunity, so much so, that his own friends came together and decided to talk to him about it. (They did this also with another guy who was nasty with his wife !) Now, after I left him, he admires me, ha ha!! We are still good friends and he always comes to me when he does not feel well or has a problem even though he is married now to someone else.
In my chart I have a Mars(in Aries in the 5th) inconjunct Moon (in Scorpio in the 12th). I cannot say that I have felt really bad about the other children laughing at me (because I wore glasses). It did make me more silent than other kids, I think and I was very careful in choosing my friends lateron in life and I only have a handful whom I trust. I also like my own company a lot and can be alone for days, reading, listen to music, doing astrology etc. On the other hand I can be very social and I am always invited on every party imaginable. It is actually me who decides not to go if I dont feel like it. So I dont think I really suffered from it, at least it did not make me unhappy.(I cannot remember being unhappy). I always get the feeling that others really like me, so in my case it did not work out like with Michael. (but I have no strong Neptune aspects at all, just an opposition to Venus which indeed has made for desillusion in relationships, but also was very helpful with my creative talents, painting, dancing etc.)

Wow that was impressive, so many bullied people that now are happy and
succesful. I thought I was the only one that was bullied. However, I agree
that because of that bullying I ended with a distorted view on people. Not
all people are evil, well we are all evil to some extent.