does my ex want to reunite or does he want me to find another romantic interest?

jag

Well-known member
hi....

as some of you know this has been driving me just about nuts. so i've patiently waited for some time to pass and decided to see if horary could help once again.

i asked a horary alittle over three months ago and it was suggested i wait and ask again. i just sent my ex a letter asking him to let me know if he really wanted me to be involved romantically with someone i had been getting to know (we've recently decided to be just friends though)--before this he had no definites that i was going to be in a romantic relationship or would simply be just pining over him. this was in his face and telling him it is a real happening should you not wake up and step up to the plate and tell me that you care about me and want to be with me. see he's always taken for granted i'd be there and i have been. i asked him to contact me within two weeks. it would have been easy for him to send back a one sentence email reply or to my home address to say "yes you should pursue the relationship" and also add "don't contact me anymore" which he is famous for saying when he doesn't want me to contact him but he has never said that throughout the entire "breakup"--very interesting and telling. over two weeks and nothing. i have known him for 6 years and his reponse does not mean he wants me to necessarily see another romantic partner, just the opposite... his no response could mean he doesn't want me to do that because he still really wants to be with me but is having mid life crisis and is spinning his own wheels--he has done this in the past with the avoidance not meaning disinterest. so originally i got scared and then thought about his past actions and realized he's not necessarily telling you you have his blessing--he sees it as a stalemate he says nothing, i do nothing. i know it makes no logical sense but sometimes there is no rhyme or reason besides his limited reasoning and he has no practical or common sense at all, everything's logical so the if i don't do this, then she won't do that theory of his. i don't know if this chart shows what i feel inside or not. it doesn't appear to be telling me anything!

date: march 7, 2007
time: 7:23 am.
place bradford, massachusetts (71w05, 42n46)
asc: 13 ari 37

i'm signified by mars and the moon and he's signified by venus. his venus is in my first house so i'm on his mind but does it signify anything else in the chart? part of fortune is in his house so i'm assuming that means this is still leaning towards him and not somene else. there are no aspects between any of the planets.

mars is in the 11th house of friends and we were best of friends. in my natal chart and in my heart i have always known and would never settle for anyone in a romantic relationship who wasn't my best friend. so this fits him too. and where it's me represented by mars i'm assuming it's echoing the my seeing us friends and not that he wants us to be just friends because it would be venus in the 11th, correct?

the moon aspects quite a bit of things but only two of the planets. it trines mars and then opposes venus (which it were the other way around!) but it's last aspect is positive with it sextile pluto.

find venus in applying aspect to jupiter positive and would think reconiliation would take place in three weeks, three months if he wanted it???? venus applies to jupiter 3:20.

the only other thing i found interesting or that would say he wanted to be with me was partners arabic part is 12 lib 18 which is conjunct the 7th house which represents him. one other interesting thing that points to "him" is that marriage asteroid juno is in the 7th house and is conjunct part of fortune. i'm taking this to be the meat of the chart but could be beginners luck totally wrong.... :-( and the fact venus is in the first so it connects me personally to him...

so even though there isn't much here, i'd still say that he cautiously wants us to be together and doesn't in his heart want me to find another romantic interest. he wants it but maybe the chart is telling me he doesn't know how to go about reconciliation or he still needs more time to "fix his stuff" or maybe that he is in no position to ask me to not find another romantic interest. this time waiting is driving me crazy but i've thought long and hard and he's worth the aggravation if we can finally be harmonious and all gut instincts (which i've been told lately to start following instead of ignoring) is that things aren't over by a long shot they are just paused and confused on his end and i'm lost as to where he stands. i'm working on formulating one more horary question that might help unstall this and get final resolution and we would have that if he would just give me an answer; this was a perfect opportunity for him to bow out and say hey yeah i'm happy you have found someone you are attracted to, go for it! but he didn't and the way he didn't do it is very telling and eye opening. but what to do next.... just sit and wait... everyone ever in my position knows how this is easier said than done. and i know i can't play half foot in relationships games with people; it's cruel and unfair.

if anyone can help with whether i've figured anything out in this chart objectively, i'd appreciate the look and analysis of this horary question/chart. thanks to anyone ahead of time who is willing to take the time to respond... i appreciate it!

smiles
jag
 

mb8

Member
Hi Jag
I think there is a typo with the date, I think it should be March 5th.
Before I go further I should say I am new to horary but have been reading a lot and just thought I would just mention this. I think the sig for you ex looks like Saturn and of course your sig is Mars and moon and the new love interest is Venus. I will try to get back after I analyse your chart more.
regards
mb8
 

Catatonia

Well-known member
Interesting horary. You are signified by Mars in Aquarius in the 11th house (you asked whether he wanted you to be his friend and find someone else) and his significator is Venus in Aries in your 1st and his 7th. This question seems to very much be about him - your cosignificator and signifcator of the question, Moon in Libra, is in the whole house 7th (otherwise known as the descendant).

Your sig is in his 5th, and his sig happens to be in your 1st. Well, what can I say? The Moon is applying in opposition to his significator. This is a very much affectionate opposition between two very feminine, very loving bodies - the Moon and Venus. Unfortunately, though, Venus isn't is the best of shapes. She is currently in Mars' (your) dignity and its own detriment. You are, on the other hand, in better shape being in Aquarius.

An opposition is an opposition is an opposition. I believe what will happen is that you will move on and he will get what he seems to have stated, whether it is (or isn't) what he REALLY wants. This horary implies that he does still care for you, very much so. But it seems as though inevitable circumstances [Saturn] in your 5th (fun, flings, kids, possibly short-term love interests) and his 11th (friends, institutions, hopes and wishes) has crushed your fun as well as his hopes and wishes.

Taking into account the fact that Saturn is 1.5 months away from stationing direct, I'd say that its current state in retrograde motion is bringing old issues back. Your significator is conjunct Chiron, which seems to be bringing back old wounds.

Here's the good news, overall, Mars and Venus are separating from a sextile and though the orb isn't there, the aspect is. It is observable from this horary (to me, anyway) that you two still care for one another very much. You can go ahead and be direct, tell him to stop avoiding exactly what he wants from you. If he reacts the same way in the end, I believe it's best to do as he suggests.

- REMEMBER! Mercury IS retrograde ;) you have 2 days before the clear message comes out. You should also take into account that Mercury being retrograde may be the only reason you're thinking about him again. Take it easy. Hope this has helped.

Catatonia
 

jag

Well-known member
hi mb8 and cataonia

mb8 you are correct about the date; sorry about that!

cataonia: thanks for taking the time to go through that chart forme. i understand all i missed and you interpreted. and yes it DOES help enormously. i really appreciate your thorough approach and efforts. here's to clarification of a much needed resolution!

again appreciations....
jag
 

Jupiter Rocks

Well-known member
Hi Jags

I have had a look at your chart taking particular notice of the receptions. I think Saturn rules your ex not Venus. Saturn is used for spurned spouses and exes in the majority of charts and the receptions usually show this.

As this is a relationship chart usually the first house would get whatever planet is ruling the first house as well as the Moon and Venus (if a woman) and the 7th house whatever is ruling that house and the Sun (if its a man). In your chart as Venus is taken by the 7th house so we can't use it but the 7th also gets the Sun.

Mars is ruled by Saturn and in its triplicity, whilst the Moon is ruled by Venus, showing you do care about the new man but you are still holding a torch for your ex as Saturn is exhalted and in triplicity and term of the Moon. Venus rules your new man who obviously likes you very much by being on your ascendant, although this too is separating. He doesn't like your ex as Saturn is in Venus' fall. Venus is weak because he is on your side of the chart and loves you. I think you are developing feelings for this new man but are still hanging on for your ex.

The Sun rules man as 'trousers' in a relationship chart and the Sun in this case (which must be Venus) is quite into himself! Saturn has no interest in Mars or the Moon or Venus, so I don't think your ex is bothered if you go out with this new guy. This is probably why you haven't heard from him as he just isn't interested. Whilst there is an aspect Moon sextile Saturn (its a weak aspect) it is frustrated or prohibited by the Moon trining Mars and then opposing Venus first, so these things will get in the way.

Whilst a retrograde planet often signifies someone coming back without an aspect that perfects its not going to happen. There is an aspect between Moon and Venus - the new guy and its by opposition so probably won't last due to you being so hung up on your ex. The 11th house represents your hopes and wishes regarding your ex more than the friendship angle IMO.

I don't think there is such a thing as an affectionate opposition as it tends to bring things together only to pull them apart. You think you want whatever it is but once you have it decide it wasn't worth the effort.

This bit isn't astrological advice its just what I've learnt over the years but if a man wants to be with you, he will be with you and nothing will stop him. I ended a relationship two years ago and until now I still hear from him every day - we will not be getting back together, he has even been seeing other people but still wanting me. It's best just to get on with your life no matter how hard it seems now, it won't always feel as bad as it does now. People become 'exes' for a reason. Just go out with this new bloke - you don't need your exes permission, you never know it may be the kick he needs to wake up to what you had but if he hasn't seen it up to now I doubt he ever will.

I'm sorry there was nothing more positive in the chart but there is no point in giving you false hope. I wouldn't want anyone to do that to me and I'd never do that to anyone else because I know love hurts when it goes wrong.

Hugs
JR
 

IntoAstro

Well-known member
Though I haven't studied horary in depth, I understand the logic behind it to be that since a question is formulated at a specific moment in time, then the answer must also exist at that moment in time, and so what better way to find the answer than through astrology, which in its roots is the study of time itself.

A chart is cast for the moment that the question is asked to the astrologer. The moment that the astrologer receives and understands the question seems to be the crucial moment for which the chart is cast. Although some astrologers are experienced enough to ask their own horary questions, many of the old texts advise against this for numerous reasons, and it seems to be generally accepted that the actual act of presenting the question to the astrologer and the comprehension by the astrologer of the question is the moment for the chart.

I'm pretty sure you can only ask the question once, and that the question has to be significant: an issue of real importance to the querent. Perhaps something that has been on their mind for at least a whole night and a day or longer, just eating away at them.

This is so that it can be a question with enough importance that, at the moment it is asked, even the stars reflect it. You can't just pull those questions out of thin air or ask them repeatedly.

When I saw the title of the thread, all I could think is that a better question would be to look inside and ask yourself what you want with regards to reuniting with your ex or starting a relationship with someone new.

Or maybe to look at your transits and planetary periods to determine what is the best next step for yourself. I think it's better for you to know what you want and approach life from there than wait to see what your ex wants.
 
Top