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  #1  
Unread 09-20-2020, 07:53 AM
Aniko Aniko is offline
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Unhappy Chart vs Reality (no friends)

Hallo, I am really worried about my oldest son who is always at home. During the week-end or holidays he is in his room almost all of the time except for when he goes to the gym - alone.

He insists that there is nothing wrong and that he just does not like to have a lot of people around him but I don't think it is healthy to never leave his room. He is 17 years and I made his chart. I was so surprised to see that he has a lot of planets in the house of friends, the 11 house. Shouldn't this signify that he would have plenty of friends? Instead for him it seems to be the opposite.

Please help me to interpret this correctly. I want to help my son so much but I don't know what to do.
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  #2  
Unread 09-20-2020, 08:44 AM
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)

This is another example where planet-in-house or planet-in-sign priority is misleading or contradictory. Use the signs and the houses as a modifier to the information that comes from planetary contacts. Start with the planetary contacts.

He has a Minor Grand Trine, Moon/Sun/Saturn. Since two of the four significators are part of the configuration, it is a configuration that may dominate this chart. The configuration says, "this is a depressed person", Sun=Moon/Saturn.

The opposition to Sun/Jupiter shows that his depression is accompanied by irritability that has embarrassed and alienated him. Most people his age don't understand what is happening to them. They do not understand depression. They only feel themselves to be losers, and that feeds the depressive syndrome.

Use whatever avenue suits you best, but start to treat and expose the symptoms of depression.

Last edited by Cary2; 09-20-2020 at 08:47 AM. Reason: grammar
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  #3  
Unread 09-20-2020, 09:14 AM
Aniko Aniko is offline
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cary2 View Post
This is another example where planet-in-house or planet-in-sign priority is misleading or contradictory. Use the signs and the houses as a modifier to the information that comes from planetary contacts. Start with the planetary contacts.

He has a Minor Grand Trine, Moon/Sun/Saturn. Since two of the four significators are part of the configuration, it is a configuration that may dominate this chart. The configuration says, "this is a depressed person", Sun=Moon/Saturn.

The opposition to Sun/Jupiter shows that his depression is accompanied by irritability that has embarrassed and alienated him. Most people his age don't understand what is happening to them. They do not understand depression. They only feel themselves to be losers, and that feeds the depressive syndrome.

Use whatever avenue suits you best, but start to treat and expose the symptoms of depression.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate that you took your time to answer. Because I have no knowledge of understanding trines etcetera, and when I create his chart and read the interpretations you only get to read the chart part by part. You don't get to understand it as a whole.

He has actually described himself as a loser sometime but that was a long time ago. Mostly he just clams up when I try to talk to him and ask about how he is doing, he refuses to talk.

I have been thinking of taking him to a psychologist and that would be a good start I guess. Once again thank you!
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  #4  
Unread 09-20-2020, 09:36 AM
Aniko Aniko is offline
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)

What about his kite? What could that signify in his case?
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  #5  
Unread 09-20-2020, 05:24 PM
neptunian neptunian is offline
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aniko View Post
Hallo, I am really worried about my oldest son who is always at home. During the week-end or holidays he is in his room almost all of the time except for when he goes to the gym - alone.

He insists that there is nothing wrong and that he just does not like to have a lot of people around him but I don't think it is healthy to never leave his room. He is 17 years and I made his chart. I was so surprised to see that he has a lot of planets in the house of friends, the 11 house. Shouldn't this signify that he would have plenty of friends? Instead for him it seems to be the opposite.

Please help me to interpret this correctly. I want to help my son so much but I don't know what to do.
Hi

What you wrote reminded me of what my mother and my grandmother were saying years ago. I'm an introvert and prefer to spend time at home rather than superficial relationships. I either form deep friendships or not at all. My mother then regretted not understanding me at those days. While my peers were playing outside, i was trying to write a story book in my room. And they perceived this something problematic and hurt me.

So, i advise you not to force him, if only problem is being introverted?, i think nothing wrong with it. He has a scorpio moon in the first house, dispositor of moon mars is in pisces in 4th and stellium in virgo. He is withdrawn, that is seen from the chart. If you heard multiple
intelligences, please search about intrapersonal personality type.

His 11th ruler mercury squared by pluto, possibly he doesn't trust people easily. 11th house is also technology, internet; maybe your child is interested in these things. It is the house of aquarius, he may not like to fit in and prefer his individuality.

I wanted to share my opinion, because water moons get hurt easily even though they don't show.

Saturn in ninth trined by moon and mars, i think he will focus on higher education.

Last edited by neptunian; 09-20-2020 at 05:28 PM.
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  #6  
Unread 09-20-2020, 05:29 PM
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aniko View Post
What about his kite? What could that signify in his case?
I mentioned that when I spoke of his Sun-oppose-Mars/Uranus. It shows that his depression is combined with irritability.
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  #7  
Unread 09-20-2020, 08:30 PM
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)

Your son is a lot of people these days. Everyone makes friends on the internet instead
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  #8  
Unread 09-21-2020, 05:23 AM
HonourAndDevotion HonourAndDevotion is offline
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)

I think overall he is very earth-water blended..
first of all these are likely to be naturally introvert, too brainy, deepthinking, a bit reserved/quiet types. frugal and modest.. Virgo sun is like , best known for his selectivity, perfectionism aka quality over quantity for them i think.
Think of him Virgo but also Uranus combined. Uranus here ofc doubles the brainy, intelligent, maybe weird/unique side. it alter the ego(sun) with this way.

for the Sun-Uranus opposition this aspect may lead to rejection and the opposition to ego and authortithy figures(in a much broader meaning) and can lead to a objective, impartial, very scientific, free to the core spirit. opposition or such resistance to ego has already means of impartiality, selflessness, kind of lawlessness included. which may lead to confusion of real self worth, indentity, their own place in society. as long as lawlessness and too much toxic freedom become their standart, or enjoy, addiction, comfort (as the venus makes me think like)


Uranus is rebellious, dont like boundaries and responsibility.
it alters everything it touches with this way of
opposition, resistance, seperation, "In this case to the Sun."
Uranus here in this case may lead to an escape,hate,rebellion,irritation from responsibilities and society, rules, life, ego etc. .
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  #9  
Unread 09-23-2020, 10:37 AM
Aniko Aniko is offline
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)

Quote:
Originally Posted by neptunian View Post
Hi

What you wrote reminded me of what my mother and my grandmother were saying years ago. I'm an introvert and prefer to spend time at home rather than superficial relationships. I either form deep friendships or not at all. My mother then regretted not understanding me at those days. While my peers were playing outside, i was trying to write a story book in my room. And they perceived this something problematic and hurt me.

So, i advise you not to force him, if only problem is being introverted?, i think nothing wrong with it. He has a scorpio moon in the first house, dispositor of moon mars is in pisces in 4th and stellium in virgo. He is withdrawn, that is seen from the chart. If you heard multiple
intelligences, please search about intrapersonal personality type.

His 11th ruler mercury squared by pluto, possibly he doesn't trust people easily. 11th house is also technology, internet; maybe your child is interested in these things. It is the house of aquarius, he may not like to fit in and prefer his individuality.

I wanted to share my opinion, because water moons get hurt easily even though they don't show.

Saturn in ninth trined by moon and mars, i think he will focus on higher education.
Thank you so much for your input, I value it a lot!
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  #10  
Unread 09-23-2020, 10:38 AM
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cary2 View Post
I mentioned that when I spoke of his Sun-oppose-Mars/Uranus. It shows that his depression is combined with irritability.
Thanks for clarifying this for me.
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  #11  
Unread 09-23-2020, 10:38 AM
Aniko Aniko is offline
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)



Quote:
Originally Posted by Bunraku View Post
Your son is a lot of people these days. Everyone makes friends on the internet instead
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  #12  
Unread 09-23-2020, 10:42 AM
Aniko Aniko is offline
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)

Quote:
Originally Posted by HonourAndDevotion View Post
I think overall he is very earth-water blended..
first of all these are likely to be naturally introvert, too brainy, deepthinking, a bit reserved/quiet types. frugal and modest.. Virgo sun is like , best known for his selectivity, perfectionism aka quality over quantity for them i think.
Think of him Virgo but also Uranus combined. Uranus here ofc doubles the brainy, intelligent, maybe weird/unique side. it alter the ego(sun) with this way.

for the Sun-Uranus opposition this aspect may lead to rejection and the opposition to ego and authortithy figures(in a much broader meaning) and can lead to a objective, impartial, very scientific, free to the core spirit. opposition or such resistance to ego has already means of impartiality, selflessness, kind of lawlessness included. which may lead to confusion of real self worth, indentity, their own place in society. as long as lawlessness and too much toxic freedom become their standart, or enjoy, addiction, comfort (as the venus makes me think like)


Uranus is rebellious, dont like boundaries and responsibility.
it alters everything it touches with this way of
opposition, resistance, seperation, "In this case to the Sun."
Uranus here in this case may lead to an escape,hate,rebellion,irritation from responsibilities and society, rules, life, ego etc. .
I did not know this about earth-water people, thank you it was interesting to hear.

His father also has a stellium in Virgo but he is the compete opposite, he is very sociable, very extrovert etcerera. He has sun in Virgo, Moon in Gemini and other influences too from air signs. So I guess he would be earth-air person. He is the anxious type and can't handle stress properly and lashes out now and then. He does not clam up at all like his son.
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  #13  
Unread 09-23-2020, 11:12 AM
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)

If you use Whole signs for his chart, he's actually got a 12th house stellium.
And with him venus conjunct the mercury/Jup midpoint it shows he's quite happy in his own company and thoughts.
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Last edited by Chrysalis; 09-23-2020 at 11:15 AM.
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  #14  
Unread 09-23-2020, 11:54 AM
Aniko Aniko is offline
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrysalis View Post
If you use Whole signs for his chart, he's actually got a 12th house stellium.
And with him venus conjunct the mercury/Jup midpoint it shows he's quite happy in his own company and thoughts.
Thank you for your reply. I don't understand though about the 12th house? I can only see 4 planets in his 11th house and none in the 12th house?

Interesting what you said about the venus aspects
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  #15  
Unread 09-23-2020, 12:12 PM
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aniko View Post
Thank you for your reply. I don't understand though about the 12th house? I can only see 4 planets in his 11th house and none in the 12th house?

Interesting what you said about the venus aspects
You're using the Placidus house system for your Sons chart, but if you change the house system to whole signs, (which is one sign per house), this will put Jup/sun/venus/merc all in his 12th house, which makes way more sense with how you are saying he is.

Some charts relate better using a different house system.
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Unread 09-23-2020, 12:31 PM
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)

I really wouldn't be trying to force your Son into anything right now like therapy etc.

Your Sons going through an activated Jupiter year (Pisces) Jupiters in the 12th and opposes Mars/Uranus midpoint, he basically wants his independence and freedom to do what he wants and he wants to be alone to do this. Jupiters in the 12th and is his most benefic planet being a diurnal chart, so allthough he wants to be alone, he's happy being alone, he feels happiness in solitude. He will only retaliate and get stressed if you try and get him to socialize more etc, as this is just something he is not interested in right now.

With the stellium in the 12th and the venus=Jup/Merc he's quite happy doing his own thing, some people are. And when he has his alone time, he can be quite imaginative and creative with either art or music, as his mercury squares his Moon/Neptune midpoint. So i wouldn't have thought he would be depressed in his room, it would be totally the opposite, he feels content.

Not everybody is born to socialize with lots of people, but this doesnt mean they are unhappy. Your Son is not unhappy in his room, he feels safe, content and at peace in his own space.

Also just to add, Transit wise Neptune is currently opposing his Merc/Venus midpoint so this would be a good time for him (if not already) to write or do something with music or Art.
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Last edited by Chrysalis; 09-23-2020 at 12:58 PM.
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  #17  
Unread 09-24-2020, 07:31 AM
Aniko Aniko is offline
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cary2 View Post
I mentioned that when I spoke of his Sun-oppose-Mars/Uranus. It shows that his depression is combined with irritability.
Well in that case what do you think of my chart? I have been struggling with depression and anxiety for many years. (Actually it is better now than before)
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  #18  
Unread 09-24-2020, 07:34 AM
Aniko Aniko is offline
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrysalis View Post
I really wouldn't be trying to force your Son into anything right now like therapy etc.

Your Sons going through an activated Jupiter year (Pisces) Jupiters in the 12th and opposes Mars/Uranus midpoint, he basically wants his independence and freedom to do what he wants and he wants to be alone to do this. Jupiters in the 12th and is his most benefic planet being a diurnal chart, so allthough he wants to be alone, he's happy being alone, he feels happiness in solitude. He will only retaliate and get stressed if you try and get him to socialize more etc, as this is just something he is not interested in right now.

With the stellium in the 12th and the venus=Jup/Merc he's quite happy doing his own thing, some people are. And when he has his alone time, he can be quite imaginative and creative with either art or music, as his mercury squares his Moon/Neptune midpoint. So i wouldn't have thought he would be depressed in his room, it would be totally the opposite, he feels content.

Not everybody is born to socialize with lots of people, but this doesnt mean they are unhappy. Your Son is not unhappy in his room, he feels safe, content and at peace in his own space.

Also just to add, Transit wise Neptune is currently opposing his Merc/Venus midpoint so this would be a good time for him (if not already) to write or do something with music or Art.
Thank you, I will not try to force him into anything :-)

I am quite a newbie to astrology though and I did not know about these different houses systems (I only knew that there is Vedic astrology too). How do you know which system to use? You are right that the Whole system chart seems to resonate more with my son's personality than the Placidus. Is this always the case, that we should not use the Placidus system? I feel more confused than ever right now.
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Unread 09-24-2020, 05:58 PM
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aniko View Post
Thank you, I will not try to force him into anything :-)

I am quite a newbie to astrology though and I did not know about these different houses systems (I only knew that there is Vedic astrology too). How do you know which system to use? You are right that the Whole system chart seems to resonate more with my son's personality than the Placidus. Is this always the case, that we should not use the Placidus system? I feel more confused than ever right now.
You can use whatever house system you want. In Astro.com you can choose which houses you want to use, Placidus is just usually the default for the houses, but can be changed to your preference.
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  #20  
Unread 09-25-2020, 09:50 PM
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)

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Originally Posted by Aniko View Post
Well in that case what do you think of my chart? I have been struggling with depression and anxiety for many years. (Actually it is better now than before)
It is not as clear-cut as your son's. But there is a tendency seen in your chart.
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  #21  
Unread 01-14-2021, 07:14 PM
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)

He's a Virgo. Let the poor thing be alone. lol
Also the Scorpio Moon certainly does nothing to counteract it. Having a lot of people in his life, especially intimately, probably makes him feel vulnerable and puts stress on him. And that's on top of Virgo being the most loner sign in the zodiac.

Also, please give very careful consideration before turning this over to a psychologist. There mere implication of it, that there's something fundamentally wrong with him, can be very damaging to a child, to anyone really. It's not an option that should be treated lightly. And in this case, I don't think there's even anything wrong with him. Sure, maybe he should go outside more, but he's a teenager. They do this. And while having an immediate social circle may be important to you, try not to project that on him. Everyone is different and has different needs. There's nothing wrong with being a loner, if that's how he's most comfortable.
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Unread 01-14-2021, 07:15 PM
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Re: Chart vs Reality (no friends)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bunraku View Post
Your son is a lot of people these days. Everyone makes friends on the internet instead
Also this. lol
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