Stratospheric
Member
Hi, my name is Alain, this is my first (or second, if to count the introduction) post on the forum.
I was born on the 23.10.1987 in Lille, France, at 09:40 local time. I am considered to be a Libra-Scorpio, but more often that not i found myself to be perfectly fitting the profile of a double-Scorpio. To make the long story short, i am posting here a poem that perfectly describes my general life situation. Together with it, i am posting the birth data of the 5 most influential persons in my life from the past and present.
MY PURPOSE
My purpose is to be born and to live with the constant feeling of dying
To walk, with the constant impression of being on the edge, ready to fall-over
To breathe, with the constant feeling of not having enough air
To see so much and so well, as to become blind
To have a saturated soul, but to live in never-ending emptiness
To feel so deep and strong, to ultimately loose my heart.
My purpose was to be built as an iron soldier with a childish motionless face
To walk through melting iron, not having the right to stop cause if i stop, i would immediately drown and melt in the matter that i was created from.
I was meant to walk through bullets and shells, and after having survived a hundred shots - to be shot by someone from the back, while healing my wounds;
I was meant to be drowning in a storm and after miraculously surviving and getting on firm land, to be met and to be thrown into the water again, by the very those who i believed my own saviors;
I was meant to watch more than what my eyes can see, until my soul becomes saturated, and then to walk, and then to drown; again and again...
I was meant to lose everything i love, but not to be allowed to create anything again
- meant to grow without roots, to breathe without air - to live suspended in nothingness
To be hurt a hundred times and that when i finally see love - to get hurt a hundred of times more. And then to die, and then to be born again.
Meant to endlessly walk within a circle where each apparent exit leads just to another hole to fall through, lower and lower, each time closer to the underworld.
Meant, to spend years in a dark tunnel and that when i finally see light at the end and start running towards it, to get crashed by random incoming traffic, purposely; to be punished in the most severe way for every ounce of joy and hope that dares to sparkle within me.
So, why, for that purpose, i have been given a heart at all?
That must have been an evil manufacturing mistake.
-
1 - 07.06.1987, 15:00 [Arandjelovac] (my first love, for 13 years, from elementary school)
2 - 30.05.1986, 09:40 [Moscow] (my first wife, the person who triggered the events that led to the death of my grand-mother and almost pushed to my own, tried to kill herself several times in the last years)
3 - 29.08.1979, 03:00 [Kurilsk] The person who i met right after that tragic period ended and towards who i experienced probably the most powerful emotions to date. Our first break-up wounded me horribly, the second one happened this year.
4 - 10.03.1977, 07:00 [Ivano-Frankovsk] The first person who i met after releasing the previous one[3] from my soul after 5 years, i felt as if the universe sort of exchanged them or as if she was the entrance to 'another level'.
5 - 27.02.1985, 15:00 [Kosovska Mitrovica] Current emotional attachment, person towards who i felt the greatest spiritual connection ever.
This is my chart:
Needless to say, i'm starting to feel cursed.
Thank you.
I was born on the 23.10.1987 in Lille, France, at 09:40 local time. I am considered to be a Libra-Scorpio, but more often that not i found myself to be perfectly fitting the profile of a double-Scorpio. To make the long story short, i am posting here a poem that perfectly describes my general life situation. Together with it, i am posting the birth data of the 5 most influential persons in my life from the past and present.
MY PURPOSE
My purpose is to be born and to live with the constant feeling of dying
To walk, with the constant impression of being on the edge, ready to fall-over
To breathe, with the constant feeling of not having enough air
To see so much and so well, as to become blind
To have a saturated soul, but to live in never-ending emptiness
To feel so deep and strong, to ultimately loose my heart.
My purpose was to be built as an iron soldier with a childish motionless face
To walk through melting iron, not having the right to stop cause if i stop, i would immediately drown and melt in the matter that i was created from.
I was meant to walk through bullets and shells, and after having survived a hundred shots - to be shot by someone from the back, while healing my wounds;
I was meant to be drowning in a storm and after miraculously surviving and getting on firm land, to be met and to be thrown into the water again, by the very those who i believed my own saviors;
I was meant to watch more than what my eyes can see, until my soul becomes saturated, and then to walk, and then to drown; again and again...
I was meant to lose everything i love, but not to be allowed to create anything again
- meant to grow without roots, to breathe without air - to live suspended in nothingness
To be hurt a hundred times and that when i finally see love - to get hurt a hundred of times more. And then to die, and then to be born again.
Meant to endlessly walk within a circle where each apparent exit leads just to another hole to fall through, lower and lower, each time closer to the underworld.
Meant, to spend years in a dark tunnel and that when i finally see light at the end and start running towards it, to get crashed by random incoming traffic, purposely; to be punished in the most severe way for every ounce of joy and hope that dares to sparkle within me.
So, why, for that purpose, i have been given a heart at all?
That must have been an evil manufacturing mistake.
-
1 - 07.06.1987, 15:00 [Arandjelovac] (my first love, for 13 years, from elementary school)
2 - 30.05.1986, 09:40 [Moscow] (my first wife, the person who triggered the events that led to the death of my grand-mother and almost pushed to my own, tried to kill herself several times in the last years)
3 - 29.08.1979, 03:00 [Kurilsk] The person who i met right after that tragic period ended and towards who i experienced probably the most powerful emotions to date. Our first break-up wounded me horribly, the second one happened this year.
4 - 10.03.1977, 07:00 [Ivano-Frankovsk] The first person who i met after releasing the previous one[3] from my soul after 5 years, i felt as if the universe sort of exchanged them or as if she was the entrance to 'another level'.
5 - 27.02.1985, 15:00 [Kosovska Mitrovica] Current emotional attachment, person towards who i felt the greatest spiritual connection ever.
This is my chart:
Needless to say, i'm starting to feel cursed.
Thank you.
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