Any assist appreciated

Hello.I am new here.I am in a search for clarity to any small degree.I have had quite a roller coaster ride since 2000.In the time since,I have lost my mother to lung cancer,her husband to brain cancer,my son to severe schizophrenia (began when he was 16,he is now 20 haven't seen him since age 18,don't know if he is even alive),My oldest suffered from crohnes disease to a debilitating degree (tho much better now).My marriage of 23 years unraveled,and I divorced.That recently was finalized.When I refer back to 2000 as the beginning,it was a point when I psychologically melted down,and sustained a severe brain injury.

Although I am handling these events as best I can,I do have a predicament which baffles me.I only give the events above to express the degree of difficulty my chart may display.But,needless to say,everything has taken a toll.

I am currently in a relationship which lends to the emotional bent which seems so ongoing.In many ways,I feel that the things I want in a relationship are existant in this one.However....lovely as those aspects are....there is a feeling that I am chasing my tail in essence due to the degree of unavailability involved in this union.I could be more direct via personal message,but,that's the extent to which I would expose detail in wide scope.

I am a bit tired of suffering,and while I realize that relationships are delicate,compromising 'entities',I feel unsuited for the 'hand' I am playing out in this one.I will attempt to post my chart with transits,and his.....and unfortunately,I am asking whether this relationship will improve or whether there is a possibility for a long term relationship w/ someone else in the future.As it stands,I honestly do not believe that despite my feelings,that I can weather the elements of this arrangement,as I feel he is unavailable in far too many respects.Ugh,and our north nodes are opposite one another.Does that speak to a semi-karmic relationship or otherwise indicate we have come together for a purpose?

I do apologize for the length of my post,and appreciate any 'readers' as well as replies.I think my biggest question here would be when this will end between us,as I am forever on the brink and when I will find a longterm relationship.I honestly can't see myself contending with the circumstance involved in this on for much longer.Again I'd divulge the whys via p.m

The chart here is his chart:

Would someone be able to assist?

My question is ..."Should I move on....out of the current relationship,and is there an indication of a longterm relationship apparent within my chart specifically?

I just feel that since I am a secret to everyone he knows,that there is something wrong here.I live upstairs from him,and I know where he is all the time,he stays at my place most of the time,and we chat online whenever he is at work.(which is the only time we are apart).But there are aspects of this that hurt and that I feel are incompatible to my nature.

I honestly don't know what move to make.

Light56 said:

Would someone be able to assist?

My question is ..."Should I move on....out of the current relationship,and is there an indication of a longterm relationship apparent within my chart specifically?

I just feel that since I am a secret to everyone he knows,that there is something wrong here.I live upstairs from him,and I know where he is all the time,he stays at my place most of the time,and we chat online whenever he is at work.(which is the only time we are apart).But there are aspects of this that hurt and that I feel are incompatible to my nature.

I honestly don't know what move to make.

Click to expand...

Hi, Light56.
I can feel the emotional fatigue of your current relationship and it seems to me, based on your descriptions, that you have come to the clear conclusion that it doesn't work for you.

Our natal chart cannot tell us that there is a long term relationship on our future, but it can point to the potential for a relationship. I do see potential for you, but with Capricorn on the 7th house cusp, it can be only a serious relationship. I think a significant amount of your discontent with the current one may be from its lack of seriousness or substance, if you are remaining unknown to the rest of his life.

Not only does a relationship in your life need to be serious before you consider real involvement, but again with Capricorn on the 7th, your partner needs to be, at the very least, quite matured, and possibly older, rather than younger than you.

Perhaps to help with the problem of not knowing what to do, I would ask you to consider: if someone told you that there was not another, long-term relationship out there for you, would you stay in this one feeling the way you do? Or would you leave it? I think honestly exploring this may give you insight about what to do.

I am wishing you well.

Thank you IleneK!

I do appreciate your having given time to my question.I did reply via p.m.I am terribly thankful for your time/energy.

In answer to your question....I would leave it immediately.I really prefer to be partnered.I know no one where I am,left california to be w/ him.I am not one to be all social...go out...date.So that's scary.

edit* You asked if there was *not* another,I guess I would have to really become more repressed to handle this one.But,I would continue to lose *myself* as I did in my marriage.(sighs)I guess I'd stay and placate him?....till I couldn't any longer.

u got late married?

No,I married at 21,and just divorced around january this year.I am 44 so I was married 23 years.It's sad to end a union.

sorry to hear about ur divorce.
how was ur marital life?

Wow,that's a loaded question.I thought it was the best marriage anyone could have for a long time.In 2000 everything was turned upside down,and the fall was steep and dramatic.It took those following 12 years for me to 'see' that in order to live,I had to leave.The process was slow.It came to a point in 2010-2011 where it felt that forces outside my awareness were driving the break.It was heartbreaking to realize the death of it.As my children turned into teens,near the years of 2000-2007,he became violent.I felt very alone most of the time.The more uninvolved and dis-compassionate he grew toward my sons,the more my love for him turned black.*uninvolved* was the other little death.I began to see that the manner I saw him to be (helpful to others,graceful,charming) were projections for the world to view.I saw that all of his natural gifts were taken for granted;in that,he would severely criticize others,and place himself upon a throne with pride.I tried to make him gently aware,he was gifted,and that he needed to be gentle with his sons and coworkers because everyone is not born with his abilities.He wore a faux garment of humility so no one saw what was there,but,in our home it was miserable.I also learned that he was two-faced.Not just to his friends,but,to me,so that people I'd never met had pre-conceived notions about me.That's a broad answer,but,that's what I feel occurred.