synastry: neptune and resentment

wowreally

wowreally

Well-known member
because neptune constatly has to please and live up to the expectations of the planet person.
i've had this situation happen to me a couple of times.
they're happy as long as i'm being fake, the minute i start getting comfortable and being myself they seem to get a little repulsed, so it's back to making sure they're all happy.
then when you want to leave they get all sad, guilting you into staying with them, just so you can continue serving all their emotional/spiritual needs.
Selfish much?

it's like a prison inside.
but once it's over it never gets better, now you just have to live with the guilt for the rest of your life.
so because of their stupid illusions your life is messed up. you're forced to chose btwn guilt for the rest of your life or a prison (and a sort of death).

what ***** even more about this placement is that it happens quickly. by the time you figure out what's going on it's too late.

has this been your expeience with neptune (esp. with the harder aspects)?
 
queenfluff

queenfluff

Well-known member
This happens because Neptune creates illusions of native in other minds. I have it in my 1st house conjunct to my ascendant and I have similar problems. What you have to do (not easy) is when you get involved with someone you have to make sure they know who the real you is - not the fanatasy image of you they have in their minds. I try to stomp out those fantasy images as soon as I can because otherwise the relationship ends in diaster and disappointment. This way if they know who the real you is and you shatter that fantasy image - they will know what they are getting into and they can't be disappointed if they decide to get involved with you. In fact, I can almost tell when they think I am someone who I am not and I will say it straight out "Hey I am not like that - this is the real me ..." And go on a long ramble (if I have too) so they here it all. It is really for their own good (and mine).

Of course some people it is very difficult to shatter that fantasy image of you in their brains - in this case, it might be best to move on or, if you are so inclined, play the fantasy with them - but no serious relationship because it won't be real.

Marilyn Monroe had this problem with her Neptune aspects. So I guess we are in good company but yeah, it is still a pain in the ***!!

I missed your aspects thing there - I have Venus /Neptune Square - boy, that is even another crazy story - there are several thread on here about venus/neptune aspects. Square you internalize it - I called it "chronically disillusioned" - an opposition it is outside yourself but still the same deal. Good or bad - Neptune aspects can create problems because of the nature of Neptune. I find just being aware that I have these and the problems they can create - helps me get a grip on them - sometimes. :)
 
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Lion o ness

Lion o ness

Well-known member
I have Moon/Neptune conjunction with someone.. Me being Neptune...

First I know he can see through me... He can read me.. So for me thats kinda scary.. So I do things to get confuse him... (ok ok I know.. ) but then it backfires, because he see's through that also... BUT he also just "knows" certain things about me, that just arent the case... I guess thats my fault though since I put the confusion in there..

But I have told him, he thats not me, you misunderstand me.. Thats so not what I meant... But he wont believe it, because he just knows what he knows... There is no changing his mind..

I return I also feel like I know him.. I know his real self.. I know how to talk to him, and I understand him..

This (for the most part) is a person that I can tell something to, and not have to sit there and go into a long explantion.. (unless its about my self) then he doesnt always see me clearly..
ITs very hard to overcome that..
 
C

cappy1277

Banned
OMG Lion O Ness...I have this same aspect with someone in my 7th house. You kinda nailed it. Even though I don't like the word resentment, I choose to think the neptune person is too accomodating to the moon. Like their emotional stability is our sole responsibility. But it takes away from our emotional stability too. Complete martyr effect I think.
He can see so deeply into me, its scary. But I feel so misunderstood...like he just doesn't get it. Maybe he does because I think the emotional needs of the moon person seems more important. I had to separate myself from him because I need it to be about me as well. Its very one sided sometimes. I don't want to fall into this trap of putting someone else before me but then again, I have neptune in 7th house so its hard to overcome.
 
Chirongirl

Chirongirl

Well-known member
queenfluff said:
This happens because Neptune creates illusions of native in other minds. I have it in my 1st house conjunct to my ascendant and I have similar problems. What you have to do (not easy) is when you get involved with someone you have to make sure they know who the real you is - not the fanatasy image of you they have in their minds. I try to stomp out those fantasy images as soon as I can because otherwise the relationship ends in diaster and disappointment. This way if they know who the real you is and you shatter that fantasy image - they will know what they are getting into and they can't be disappointed if they decide to get involved with you. In fact, I can almost tell when they think I am someone who I am not and I will say it straight out "Hey I am not like that - this is the real me ..." And go on a long ramble (if I have too) so they here it all. It is really for their own good (and mine).

Of course some people it is very difficult to shatter that fantasy image of you in their brains - in this case, it might be best to move on or, if you are so inclined, play the fantasy with them - but no serious relationship because it won't be real.

Marilyn Monroe had this problem with her Neptune aspects. So I guess we are in good company but yeah, it is still a pain in the ***!!

I missed your aspects thing there - I have Venus /Neptune Square - boy, that is even another crazy story - there are several thread on here about venus/neptune aspects. Square you internalize it - I called it "chronically disillusioned" - an opposition it is outside yourself but still the same deal. Good or bad - Neptune aspects can create problems because of the nature of Neptune. I find just being aware that I have these and the problems they can create - helps me get a grip on them - sometimes. :)
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I also have Neptune on my ascendent. My experience is, people always see me as an innocent, fregile, damsel in distress and come forward to rescue me! I get a lot of help even when I do not ask for it. And I also get lectures all the time about how I should be more confident, strong and tough. But to be honest, once you get to know me, you know I am the toughest nut to crack (being the Scorpio ascendant with a conjucntion of Mars and Pluto...hahaha). I normally don't break their illusion as I know they only mean good! :)

I once have my Neptune conjuct someone's IC to 0 degree orb. Its been 10 years and he is still totally delussional about me. No matter how much I try to make him see the real me, he just wouldn't. He sees me the way he wants to see, if he is in good mood he thinks I am an angel, if he is in bad mood he truly believes with evidence that I am the devil. What I really am has never mattered. I found this scary could never trust him properly.
 
queenfluff

queenfluff

Well-known member
cappy1277 said:
OMG Lion O Ness...I have this same aspect with someone in my 7th house. You kinda nailed it. Even though I don't like the word resentment, I choose to think the neptune person is too accomodating to the moon. Like their emotional stability is our sole responsibility. But it takes away from our emotional stability too. Complete martyr effect I think.
He can see so deeply into me, its scary. But I feel so misunderstood...like he just doesn't get it. Maybe he does because I think the emotional needs of the moon person seems more important. I had to separate myself from him because I need it to be about me as well. Its very one sided sometimes. I don't want to fall into this trap of putting someone else before me but then again, I have neptune in 7th house so its hard to overcome.
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Hey cappy, it is funny you say that about being misunderstood by the neptune person because that is exactly what us neptune people feel like from others! Like what I was talking about in my first post on this thread - I really have to "hit it home" to the person who I really am because no one understands me because of the illusion. It is kind of a lonely feeling. I feel that other neptune types understand me better (or scorpio types since I am scorp rising). But yes, we Neptune types are sort of psychic (depends on the aspects) and we have a high level of intuition. I feel I can read people pretty well when I first meet them but honestly it is more of a "I get a vibe of what kind of person they are feeling" - makes it easy to guess peoples' Sun signs! :) I can often guess what someone is going to say - but not sure if that is Neptune or I am just really good at picking up on details so I kind of feel it. I have a few other aspects like that.

I have never thought my emotional stability was others responsibllity. I am pretty secretive. I am definatley NOT clingy. It is hard because us Neptunes emotions are affected when people misunderstand us too and it happens alot with me. Neptune can create fog for the Neptune person as well - when seeing others clearly - squares and oppositions are mostly for this.

Chirongirl said:
I also have Neptune on my ascendent. My experience is, people always see me as an innocent, fregile, damsel in distress and come forward to rescue me! I get a lot of help even when I do not ask for it. And I also get lectures all the time about how I should be more confident, strong and tough. But to be honest, once you get to know me, you know I am the toughest nut to crack (being the Scorpio ascendant with a conjucntion of Mars and Pluto...hahaha). I normally don't break their illusion as I know they only mean good! :)
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I have Scorpio Ascendant too! how close is your Neptune to your Asc? Mine is within 10 degrees so it makes me look less intense (accept when I am very pissed off - my Scorpio Rising is very apparent than!). My eyes have a dreamy "far away" look to them. My features are definately very Neptune as opposed to the stereotypical dark Scorpio Rising (but I definately have the Scorpio Rising power). I am exactly the same way - probably it is our combo of Neptune/Scorpio. Yep, I get the damsel in distress thing from guys sometimes (mostly the 'fantasy' image thing though - well, I guess they sort of tie in together than) - funny thing is I am very independant and resourceful (Virgo Sun) and I LIKE to do my own stuff I think this irks the dudes because obviously they want the girl to need them (and yes, I DO need them I just happen to own my own power tools and I can fix things! lol!).

Funny how I notice I sometimes end up with guys who DON'T help me at all - hmm - ok, I am independant but not THAT independant - I mean, you gotta help me clean the house/apartment! :lol: I will admit I can be too self-reliant. People ask to help me with something and I go "No, that's OK I can do it." but than they go and help anyhow and I thank them - but I feel weird about it. But yes, people see me as a fragile flower (doesn't help that I am tiny and fragile looking too) who probably can't do anything. I think I should probably do what you do and not completely shatter their illusions - but I feel weird letting people help me too much. I know - its a Virgo flaw I have to work on (wonder if their is an aspect for that? too self-reliant and independant). I guess I just don't want to owe them anything. But realistically, I should probably take advantage of some of this help that the Neptune sometimes draws my way. :) I just have to make sure I don't take advantage of those people though - because I know people do it to me when I "help" too much - and I hate that.

I guess I sort of like being "seen" as an innocent damsel in a way because it sort of attracts helpful people but I don't want people to think I AM that way. I want them to know that I can take care of myself just fine - but that doesn't mean I don't want people around me.

Thanks, Chriongirl - you gave me some "Neptune" for thought. Hmm.. Nice to meet another Neptune/Scorpio type too! :) Do you have the Venus square Neptune aspect too? I have that and oh, I hate it! :)
 
Chirongirl

Chirongirl

Well-known member
queenfluff said:
Hey cappy, it is funny you say that about being misunderstood by the neptune person because that is exactly what us neptune people feel like from others! Like what I was talking about in my first post on this thread - I really have to "hit it home" to the person who I really am because no one understands me because of the illusion. It is kind of a lonely feeling. I feel that other neptune types understand me better (or scorpio types since I am scorp rising). But yes, we Neptune types are sort of psychic (depends on the aspects) and we have a high level of intuition. I feel I can read people pretty well when I first meet them but honestly it is more of a "I get a vibe of what kind of person they are feeling" - makes it easy to guess peoples' Sun signs! :) I can often guess what someone is going to say - but not sure if that is Neptune or I am just really good at picking up on details so I kind of feel it. I have a few other aspects like that.

I have never thought my emotional stability was others responsibllity. I am pretty secretive. I am definatley NOT clingy. It is hard because us Neptunes emotions are affected when people misunderstand us too and it happens alot with me. Neptune can create fog for the Neptune person as well - when seeing others clearly - squares and oppositions are mostly for this.



I have Scorpio Ascendant too! how close is your Neptune to your Asc? Mine is within 10 degrees so it makes me look less intense (accept when I am very pissed off - my Scorpio Rising is very apparent than!). My eyes have a dreamy "far away" look to them. My features are definately very Neptune as opposed to the stereotypical dark Scorpio Rising (but I definately have the Scorpio Rising power). I am exactly the same way - probably it is our combo of Neptune/Scorpio. Yep, I get the damsel in distress thing from guys sometimes (mostly the 'fantasy' image thing though - well, I guess they sort of tie in together than) - funny thing is I am very independant and resourceful (Virgo Sun) and I LIKE to do my own stuff I think this irks the dudes because obviously they want the girl to need them (and yes, I DO need them I just happen to own my own power tools and I can fix things! lol!).

Funny how I notice I sometimes end up with guys who DON'T help me at all - hmm - ok, I am independant but not THAT independant - I mean, you gotta help me clean the house/apartment! :lol: I will admit I can be too self-reliant. People ask to help me with something and I go "No, that's OK I can do it." but than they go and help anyhow and I thank them - but I feel weird about it. But yes, people see me as a fragile flower (doesn't help that I am tiny and fragile looking too) who probably can't do anything. I think I should probably do what you do and not completely shatter their illusions - but I feel weird letting people help me too much. I know - its a Virgo flaw I have to work on (wonder if their is an aspect for that? too self-reliant and independant). I guess I just don't want to owe them anything. But realistically, I should probably take advantage of some of this help that the Neptune sometimes draws my way. :) I just have to make sure I don't take advantage of those people though - because I know people do it to me when I "help" too much - and I hate that.

I guess I sort of like being "seen" as an innocent damsel in a way because it sort of attracts helpful people but I don't want people to think I AM that way. I want them to know that I can take care of myself just fine - but that doesn't mean I don't want people around me.

Thanks, Chriongirl - you gave me some "Neptune" for thought. Hmm.. Nice to meet another Neptune/Scorpio type too! :) Do you have the Venus square Neptune aspect too? I have that and oh, I hate it! :)
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Hi queenfluf :happy:
It's really nice to meet someone with Neptune on ascendant! My Neptune is less than 2 degrees apart from my Ascendant. Thanks God for my Scorpio ascendant and the prominant Pluto. Otherwise I would have been a totally delussional person. I would have been too nice and sensetive to others to make any decision. I had a teacher like that who could never make up his mind....if you asked him "what would you like to drink tea or coffee?"..he would never be able to say what he really wanted-tea or coffee...not even if you give him 20 mins to decide..hahaha. My Neptune is also part of my grand trine that involves Moon and Saturn. Thanks God for Satrun's presence in the grand trine, it helps me stay in this world..:w00t:

Carter says, hard aspect of Neptune with personal Planet such as yours or Ascendant such as mine, makes one "active seeker of devine" or gives a Devine discontent. We seek devine through relationship, through beauty, through perfection. Our standard is too high because we hear whispers coming from deiffernet worlds, a world much more perfect than this one. Stephan arroyo argues that most of the great artists birth chart contains aspect like this. So, we are special! I think, I exude too much of Neptune's devine energy: people not only tend to treat me like a porceline doll, or damsel in distress, they also trust me too easily and would believe my lies than other people's soild hard truth. It is as if they can not conceive that I can lie or do something bad! This is why I have to be very careful while dealing with people. I make sure they understand where I stand and I try to speak 100% solid and pure truth! I let people lecture me as I sense they are doing it because they care for me. But if I realise someone is trying to go too far or trying to step on my toes thinking I am weak or naieve-I know how to stop them. This reminds me of a story stephan Arroyo wrote. it goes like this..

A wise man once tought a serpent to be sensetive and nice and not to bite anyone since biting people is bad. So the serpent stopped biting people (too much neptune ..I suppose..haha). So soon everyone relised that the serpent does not bite and they started harrassing him. They started hititng him with stick and poking him just for fun. The serpent got fedup and went back to the wise man and comapined. He asked the wise man: "How can I be virtuous and sensetive yet in offensive when people takes my sensetivity and kindness as my weakenss?" The wiseman said: I told you not to bite, but I never told you not to Hiss!"

The Scropio ascendant and Saturn, Pluto connection gives me enough Hiss to protect myself, I suppose..hahaha.

But Neptun is a difficult energy unless it is channelised properly. Since I started Neptune meditation and understand my Neptune better, I can now see its beauty. Life without Neptune would have been very dull! Besides, I have 8th house Moon and Venus along with prominant Pluto conjunct Mars in 10 and ascorpio ascendant. I think, I have great darkness in me and I use Neptune energy to bring light in the darkness of Hades underworld.:)

Sending you some Posetive Neptune Vibe, Queenfluf !!:happy: :love:
 
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moonwillow

moonwillow

Well-known member
This is really intriguing.
I too and scorp asc, 18 Deg conjunct my Neptune in the first house. 3 orb.
I can relate to the thread from Chirongirl and Queenfluff.
Iti is really good to read this thread, says alot about the scorp / neptune (Pisces) influence in the chart
My birthdate is towards the end of july, Pisces decanate, and I do feel the Pisces infuence sometimes, not to mention the scorpio neptune influence too

I do have alot of pluto connects, some not so good (venus square pluto) this one haunts me
My moon is in cap - 2 house, this tends to stablizes me quite a bit.
Thank you for the post.
 
dreamtimez

dreamtimez

Well-known member
Chirongirl said:
I also have Neptune on my ascendent. My experience is, people always see me as an innocent, fregile, damsel in distress and come forward to rescue me! I get a lot of help even when I do not ask for it. And I also get lectures all the time about how I should be more confident, strong and tough. But to be honest, once you get to know me, you know I am the toughest nut to crack (being the Scorpio ascendant with a conjucntion of Mars and Pluto...hahaha). I normally don't break their illusion as I know they only mean good! :)
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That is what I experience often. Neptune sextile my Ascendant (Libra) ... I get advice regularly on how to be tough ! When people know me better ... they 'sense' my Pluto (12 house) conjunct Ascendant. :wink: I don't disillusion them ... they mean well after all.
 
CosmicBlyss

CosmicBlyss

Active member
wowreally said:
because neptune constantly has to please and live up to the expectations of the planet person.
i've had this situation happen to me a couple of times.
they're happy as long as i'm being fake, the minute i start getting comfortable and being myself they seem to get a little repulsed, so it's back to making sure they're all happy.
then when you want to leave they get all sad, guilting you into staying with them, just so you can continue serving all their emotional/spiritual needs.
Selfish much?

it's like a prison inside.
but once it's over it never gets better, now you just have to live with the guilt for the rest of your life.
so because of their stupid illusions your life is messed up. you're forced to chose btwn guilt for the rest of your life or a prison (and a sort of death).

what ***** even more about this placement is that it happens quickly. by the time you figure out what's going on it's too late.

has this been your expeience with neptune (esp. with the harder aspects)?
Click to expand...

cappy1277 said:
OMG Lion O Ness...I have this same aspect with someone in my 7th house. You kinda nailed it. Even though I don't like the word resentment, I choose to think the neptune person is too accomodating to the moon. Like their emotional stability is our sole responsibility. But it takes away from our emotional stability too. Complete martyr effect I think.
He can see so deeply into me, its scary. But I feel so misunderstood...like he just doesn't get it. Maybe he does because I think the emotional needs of the moon person seems more important. I had to separate myself from him because I need it to be about me as well. Its very one sided sometimes. I don't want to fall into this trap of putting someone else before me but then again, I have neptune in 7th house so its hard to overcome.
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This tragically totally describes the (non) relationship between myself and my mother. :annoyed: Both Pisceans with strong Neptunian aspects that should foster some genuine understanding/compatibility..except she has serious Plutonian problems that "messed up my life". Her Pluto is opp my Moon (among other nasty aspects, like Venus opp Mars, Ascendants opposite, etc.) in synastry. :pinched:

I literally 'grew up' feeling like a prisoner in my own house because I could not just 'be myself' and be accepted, as my actual 'self' was not the person she wanted to see, because I could not be anything other than her lackey or clone. I was also supposed to be her support system/confidante and defer anything & everything to her because it was her right and overdue reward for like..my existance and her token consideration of such. :sick: :devil:

I was horribly blinded by my own illusions/hopes of her to the distinct detriment of my overall well-being for way too long. I only attained some real clarity about the truth of many things (primarily regarding her and myself) after life finally removed me from the nearly impossible situation I had been chained to. Going through a belief-shattering experience like that is rather gut-wrenching if one is not particularly prepared for it, possibly depending on how deep the self-delusion about a person or situation really is. :sad:
 
tokyo.lights

tokyo.lights

Well-known member
wowreally said:
because neptune constatly has to please and live up to the expectations of the planet person.
i've had this situation happen to me a couple of times.
they're happy as long as i'm being fake, the minute i start getting comfortable and being myself they seem to get a little repulsed, so it's back to making sure they're all happy.
then when you want to leave they get all sad, guilting you into staying with them, just so you can continue serving all their emotional/spiritual needs.
Selfish much?
Click to expand...

wow You're really into Neptune eh? XD Congratulations, you get to feel what it's like to be a Pisces Sun. I know a lot of people throw the victim word at Pisces/Neptune and personally I hate it as it's incredibly insensitive, but sometimes it is easy to slip into masochistic patterns in relationships. I don't know why, or how this happens. Just...it's important for your own sanity to learn to walk away. If someone wont accept you for who you are, just leave. They are manipulating you to be what they want you to be...and it's so very easy to manipulate/take advantage of a Neptune type.

The hardest lessons is accepting the people you love simply don't love you back. Meeting their every demand wont change that. I've learned this the hard way, and believe me when you walk away it's the most frightening thing in the world, but you'll feel incredibly empowered.
I must stop going through the Neptune tags now lol.
 
Optimistic Approach

Optimistic Approach

Well-known member
My Sun opposite his Neptune exact.

It was like a fantasy world that we lived in. He was in a bad relationship and our timing sucked, big time. I remember telling him that all I ever really wanted was for him to be honest and DIRECT with me - I never even got that much half the time. He had me hanging on his every word for a while and whenever I would question something or try to get a solid answer, he'd run. I wasn't perfect either, I held a lot in and felt like I couldn't give in to my own emotions. I would feel one thing and say another, or put it in a way that didn't show its importance to me. It was a vicious circle (Moon trine Neptune/ conj. Saturn possibly).

It was wonderful, but after some time, it became incredibly draining. Our communication was terrible and we both failed to be 100% with one another. I knew the story, but then somehow, I would get caught up in the BS over and over again. There's a whole lot more to us and a lot to love, but this did play a part. Even the ending of us wasn't exactly clear. I used to feel resentment towards the circumstances, but it totally isn't worth it. Once I stopped making excuses, I saw the light.

We had Moon conjunct Saturn exact in our synastry (me being the Moon). Frustrating. Me-Him: Sun-Moon DW, Sun trine Pluto, Moon conjunct Mars, Venus opposite Mars, Mars square Uranus, Neptune trine Moon, NN conjunct Venus, SN conjunct Moon, lots of 12th house stuff, etc. In the Composite we had soft aspects between all personal planets and Neptune and hard aspects to Pluto. The good & the bad!

Neptune sure played a huge role here.
 
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