Does he want to break up with me?

lunaluna

Well-known member
I am currently in a ldr relationship and I can’t come visit because the borders of both our countries are currently closed. It’s taking a toll on our relationship. He keeps telling me he loves me and that he doesn’t want to lose me but at the same time he is so distant with me lately. It feels like he is even avoiding talking to me and cutting our convos short which is something he never used to do before, so I think that maybe he retreated and waits for me to break up. He is going through a lot at the moment and I am also trying to understand that and not be insecure about us, but it’s inpossible not to think about it!

So, the question is: does he want to break up with me?

https://imgur.com/gallery/1nRo19M
 

lunaluna

Well-known member
I want to try and take a look at this myself also and I would greatly appreaciate your feedback.

His sigs are: Venus and the Sun, both in the 7th house. This tells me he is mostly focusing on himself right now.
My significators are Mars and the Moon, both in a very bad position, being in fall and detriment, which illustrates well how I feel right mow. Just looking at the dignities, I would say I am right - he is focusing on himself right now while I am feeling bad about the relationship.

Moon trines the Sun - could this be an indicator that the answer to my question is yes? So - does he want to break up? Yes, he does?
 

IleneK

Premium Member
I want to try and take a look at this myself also and I would greatly appreaciate your feedback.

His sigs are: Venus and the Sun, both in the 7th house. This tells me he is mostly focusing on himself right now.
My significators are Mars and the Moon, both in a very bad position, being in fall and detriment, which illustrates well how I feel right mow. Just looking at the dignities, I would say I am right - he is focusing on himself right now while I am feeling bad about the relationship.


Moon trines the Sun - could this be an indicator that the answer to my question is yes? So - does he want to break up? Yes, he does?

I agree with your assessment that I have highlighted above.

Beyond that, it looks to me like he met someone/Merc recently by conjunction and Merc is in his/7th house, along with him. Since you/Mars and he/Venus do not aspect, I am not sure where you fit into this picture.

I do agree that Moon's trine to Sun is a favorable indicator, but do not know if it is enough for you to remain together.

I don't think the chart can tell you if he wants to break up, but you can draw you own conclusions if he has in fact met someone else recently?
 
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lunaluna

Well-known member
I agree with your assessment that I have highlighted above.



Beyond that, it looks to me like he met someone/Merc recently by conjunction and Merc is in his/7th house, along with him. Since you/Mars and he/Venus do not aspect, I am not sure where you fit into this picture.

I do agree that Moon's trine to Sun is a favorable indicator, but do not know if it is enough for you to remain together.

I don't think the chart can tell you if he wants to break up, but you can draw you own conclusions if he has in fact met someone else recently?

Not really, because of course he hasn’t told me anything about that. How certain are you that is the case?
 
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IleneK

Premium Member
Not really, because of course he hasn’t told me anything about that. How certain are you that is the case?


The only thing that seems certain is that someone else, Merc, met him/Venus by conjunction 5 degrees ago and remains in his/Venus' house. As to the specifics, I cannot be certain.
But, if he is so distant, avoiding talking and cuts your convos short which is something he never used to do before, perhaps you might talk with him about it?

Then you may draw your own conclusion from what *he* tells, you rather than a chart ? :smile:
 
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lunaluna

Well-known member
The only thing that seems certain is that someone else, Merc, met him/Venus by conjunction 5 degrees ago and remains in his/Venus' house. As to the specifics, I cannot be certain.
But, if he is so distant, avoiding talking and cuts your convos short which is something he never used to do before, perhaps you might talk with him about it?
Then you may draw your own conclusion from what *he* tells, you rather than a chart ? :smile:

First of all, thank you for taking the time and trying to help, I really appreciate that. Both you helping with the interpretation and giving me advice unrelated to astrology - that I should talk to him.
We did talk about this, several times, I was honestly trying to look for answers in a chart out of desperation. Because I would always get the same answer - that he has feelings for me and that him acting distant is because he is in a very bad place right now. Out of work, stuck at home and becoming depressed. The chart doesn’t really reflect him feeling like that, he seems fine. I will probably break it off. I was postponing that because I felt I’d be a bad person if I leave him while he is feeling so low, but I can’t ignore my feelings and my needs. I am also feeling low and it’s because I am not getting the love I need in order to stay. And the chart just helped to make a decision - you pointing out he met someone, which is something I doubted too, and also the chart not really reflecting that he is really in a very low place.

Sorry for all of this, maybe it’s too much, me giving you all these details. But long story short, thank you for helping an internet stranger.
 

ElenaJ

Well-known member
Don't worry about giving details, it isn't gossip, but it gives us more information as to how to interpret what we see in the chart.
So you are mars, in its fall, so as you say, in a weak position, and in the 9th of foreign lands, so far from him.
Moon, which shows us what you were thinking, is in the 3rd house of communications, which is the problem, and moon is in detriment so also weak. Two problems.
He is Venus, in a better position by being in its own sign and its own natural house. And mercury has recently passed over Venus. As Ilene wrote, this could be a younger person he was involved with, especially since mercury also rules his 5th. However, with the new info you gave us, mercury also rules his 2nd of finances, so this could also be the problem he has at the moment.
His 3rd of communication is moon, who we have seen is weak, and he has weak mars in his 3rd, so he's been having difficulty communicating and been irritated.
What we do see, however, and which is very positive, is moon from your 3rd approaching him, Venus in his 7th by trine, very promising. So by you reaching out to him and communicating you can get on his good side and reconcile.
Notice that on his cusp is disruptive Uranus, the planet that divides and wants freedom and space, which is what he has expressed. And sun, his ego, just passed over Uranus, making this urge very strong in him.
There is also Saturn by the cusp. of the 4th of endings, which is what you are thinking about.
So, where are you headed? Mars will square Chiron, the wounded healer that teaches us llessons. It will be a hard lesson for you, coming from a square.
At 5 cancer you are in the Face of Venus, showing good feelings for him.
Is that enough?
You will also trine that separative Uranus on the 7th cusp, which is your cusp of relationships as well as his ascendent. You might need some free time too. To consider what has happened between you, to regain your strength and be ready for when mars trines Neptune of romanticism and spiritual true in your 5th of love.
This chart says there is a difficult period, but don't close the door just yet.
 

lunaluna

Well-known member
Don't worry about giving details, it isn't gossip, but it gives us more information as to how to interpret what we see in the chart.
So you are mars, in its fall, so as you say, in a weak position, and in the 9th of foreign lands, so far from him.
Moon, which shows us what you were thinking, is in the 3rd house of communications, which is the problem, and moon is in detriment so also weak. Two problems.
He is Venus, in a better position by being in its own sign and its own natural house. And mercury has recently passed over Venus. As Ilene wrote, this could be a younger person he was involved with, especially since mercury also rules his 5th. However, with the new info you gave us, mercury also rules his 2nd of finances, so this could also be the problem he has at the moment.
His 3rd of communication is moon, who we have seen is weak, and he has weak mars in his 3rd, so he's been having difficulty communicating and been irritated.
What we do see, however, and which is very positive, is moon from your 3rd approaching him, Venus in his 7th by trine, very promising. So by you reaching out to him and communicating you can get on his good side and reconcile.
Notice that on his cusp is disruptive Uranus, the planet that divides and wants freedom and space, which is what he has expressed. And sun, his ego, just passed over Uranus, making this urge very strong in him.
There is also Saturn by the cusp. of the 4th of endings, which is what you are thinking about.
So, where are you headed? Mars will square Chiron, the wounded healer that teaches us llessons. It will be a hard lesson for you, coming from a square.
At 5 cancer you are in the Face of Venus, showing good feelings for him.
Is that enough?
You will also trine that separative Uranus on the 7th cusp, which is your cusp of relationships as well as his ascendent. You might need some free time too. To consider what has happened between you, to regain your strength and be ready for when mars trines Neptune of romanticism and spiritual true in your 5th of love.
This chart says there is a difficult period, but don't close the door just yet.

Unfortunately, I already closed the door, I just broke up with him. I noticed Uranus too and I interpreted it as me breaking up all of a sudden - which I did. And Saturn just confirms it, it seems like.
Still, he didn’t mention another person, he just says he understands why I am breaking up, that he doesn’t blame me. He told me how he feels bad about me thinking he doesn’t care despite his efforts. He didn’t put up much of a fight though, he just let me go, easily accepted the break up and I have to admit that hurt.

A question about Neptune. I might be pessimistic but I interpret it differently. I really do have feelings for him, I did break up but the feelings can’t just go away, which is why I would really love to believe Mercury isn’t another person and we will get a chance to “reconcile”. But I just saw a news article that proved he lied about the borders of his country not opening, he told me they would be strictly closed while the article says the opposite, that there is a plan to start reopening the country. So Neptune here might signify him deceiving me or me being confused because I don’t know what to believe. Because now I just think he didn’t have the guts to break up with me although his feelings for me lost intensity and he met someone new and he was just waiting for me to cut it off and that’s why he let me go so easily. Could the Neptune Mars trine be that, I don’t know? Maybe I am just mirroring my own thoughts onto the chart and that’s why I am asking.
 

ElenaJ

Well-known member
Mars wants action. Remember, you have the square with Chiron to contend with.
And the Uranus pressure.
What you write could be true about someone else, as it could also be money problems.
Both could be true, time will tell. You didn't ask if he is seeing someone else, so we can't see a direct answer to that in the chart.
About Neptune, yes, you are right. It could be disappointment, it could be deception. However Neptune is strong by sign and the aspect is a trine, which is why I would interpret it in a more positive way, rather than negatively. It is also intuition and insight and religion and spirituality.
All of these could apply, but because of the trine it won't be harmful to you.
Uranus is co-ruler of your 4th and sun is ruler of his 4th, they were in conjunction now separating so both of you agreed and accepted the closure almost as a done fact. Also, sun is in the degree of the nodes showing the separation was necessary for him, it was already in the cards. However, sun will square Saturn, ruling your 4th, and the square says it isn't as easy for him and he might make it seem to you.
Also, his 2nd ruler mercury is near that cusp and will square Jupiter, your 2nd ruler. Is there a difference in your social classes? Or financial class? Is that a possibility? Why is he worrying about money, tied up with your money. Maybe he feels he can't afford a future family right now?
Did you notice the next aspect Venus makes? It is a trine to pluto, who is your co-ruler. In your 3rd. Which is why I am more positive in the long run that he will seek you out.
Obviously, free will is always ours to act as we want, the chart shows us the tendency, where the energy is leading us.
And you now have time to think everything over, learn what Chiron is leading you to.
Don't regret what you did, just get on with life and keep open to what the future might bring. Take care.
 

lunaluna

Well-known member
Mars wants action. Remember, you have the square with Chiron to contend with.
And the Uranus pressure.
What you write could be true about someone else, as it could also be money problems.
Both could be true, time will tell. You didn't ask if he is seeing someone else, so we can't see a direct answer to that in the chart.
About Neptune, yes, you are right. It could be disappointment, it could be deception. However Neptune is strong by sign and the aspect is a trine, which is why I would interpret it in a more positive way, rather than negatively. It is also intuition and insight and religion and spirituality.
All of these could apply, but because of the trine it won't be harmful to you.
Uranus is co-ruler of your 4th and sun is ruler of his 4th, they were in conjunction now separating so both of you agreed and accepted the closure almost as a done fact. Also, sun is in the degree of the nodes showing the separation was necessary for him, it was already in the cards. However, sun will square Saturn, ruling your 4th, and the square says it isn't as easy for him and he might make it seem to you.
Also, his 2nd ruler mercury is near that cusp and will square Jupiter, your 2nd ruler. Is there a difference in your social classes? Or financial class? Is that a possibility? Why is he worrying about money, tied up with your money. Maybe he feels he can't afford a future family right now?
Did you notice the next aspect Venus makes? It is a trine to pluto, who is your co-ruler. In your 3rd. Which is why I am more positive in the long run that he will seek you out.
Obviously, free will is always ours to act as we want, the chart shows us the tendency, where the energy is leading us.
And you now have time to think everything over, learn what Chiron is leading you to.
Don't regret what you did, just get on with life and keep open to what the future might bring. Take care.

Elena, thank you much! Your words are like a bandaid.
Well, the worrying about money might be because we are both in an unstable financial situation right now and we had plans to start living together and us both being unstable prevents us from that, on top of the pandemic. Also, he is unstable because he doesn’t even know where he’ll live, will he find a legal job in the country he is living in or he will have to find a job elsewhere. He’s completely “unstable” at the moment. I was willing to work with that and fight for us because I just wanted him and to be with him but us not talking that much and me needing more attention from him lead to me not being able to trust him and just feel like he might be lying to me, cheating, etc. So I broke up because it hurts feeling betrayed like that, especially by someone who swore he would never cheat even before we started a relationship and when we were friends. So I feel unwanted, betrayed, stupid for trusting him.

Do you think it’s a good idea to make a new chart with the question is he seeing anyone else?
 
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ElenaJ

Well-known member
What do you think?
Do you think that might be the problem? If it says no, where will that get you?
From what you've just written, it sounds as if money is a root cause of what's happening between you two, and the Covid problems just put stress on stress.
So many people I know are really suffering now with psychological problems because of over a year of lockdowns and restrictions. It is weighing heavily on everyone.
If we refer back to the chart you posted, where is Chiron? Near your 6th of health issues and service. We are all thinking that "normalcy" is just behind the corner, then we find ourselves pushed down by another rise in cases or whatever. It influences everyone and everything.
So this too will be part of your lesson.
To answer your query, of course you can do another chart and ask if he is seeing someone, but you must first off wait until the question comes naturally and strongly to you. You can't just do a chart and apply a question, for it to be valid and give proper insight. Also, you have to be prepared for the answer. If it says, yes, what will you do and think?
To be sincere, and I may be wrong because I can only use my experience and my own head, I don't think the root problem is another person, but rather stress from matters between you two that need to be worked out.
We are all living in difficult times, you two are forced apart physically, you have money problems, and remember he is the man, the half of the relationship that normally assumes the major part of the financial responsibility of a partnership, so it would be natural that it worries him. His ego (also a 2nd house matter) will be bruised and put to a test.
If the question comes to you, do ask it, and be sure you really know what the question is...look inwardly for guidance.
 

lunaluna

Well-known member
What do you think?
Do you think that might be the problem? If it says no, where will that get you?
From what you've just written, it sounds as if money is a root cause of what's happening between you two, and the Covid problems just put stress on stress.
So many people I know are really suffering now with psychological problems because of over a year of lockdowns and restrictions. It is weighing heavily on everyone.
If we refer back to the chart you posted, where is Chiron? Near your 6th of health issues and service. We are all thinking that "normalcy" is just behind the corner, then we find ourselves pushed down by another rise in cases or whatever. It influences everyone and everything.
So this too will be part of your lesson.
To answer your query, of course you can do another chart and ask if he is seeing someone, but you must first off wait until the question comes naturally and strongly to you. You can't just do a chart and apply a question, for it to be valid and give proper insight. Also, you have to be prepared for the answer. If it says, yes, what will you do and think?
To be sincere, and I may be wrong because I can only use my experience and my own head, I don't think the root problem is another person, but rather stress from matters between you two that need to be worked out.
We are all living in difficult times, you two are forced apart physically, you have money problems, and remember he is the man, the half of the relationship that normally assumes the major part of the financial responsibility of a partnership, so it would be natural that it worries him. His ego (also a 2nd house matter) will be bruised and put to a test.
If the question comes to you, do ask it, and be sure you really know what the question is...look inwardly for guidance.


I didn't reply yesterday because I was thinking about everything you told me. And it has been one huge mess, to be sincere. :pouty:
I didn't make the chart right away, I did just now because I just need help to stick to one opinion.

https://imgur.com/a/CgUIJvz

Here is the chart and I am going to take a look at it
 

lunaluna

Well-known member
So, I don't know what to think. There is Jupiter in his first house but there's no aspect between his significator,Saturn, and Jupiter so I am not sure whether this means there is another person in his life or not. He is in his 12th house, which could suggest there is something he is hiding? And since the question is is he seeing someone else, could that be it?

However, as much as I looked for confirmation there is someone else, what my gut tells me from looking at the chart is that there probably isn't. He is in the 12th house, there is a conjuction between Saturn (him) and Moon (me) and in the 12th house - house of sadness, sorrow and self-undoing. Also, his 4th house, house of endings is where I am at. So from my poor interpretation of this I'd say, no he is not seeing someone else, but feeling bad about the break up?
 

ElenaJ

Well-known member
Fascinating that the moment you chose to do the chart is exactly the moment when the two significators, in exact square aspect, are contacting the ascendent/descendent axis!
One by conjunction, one by square. With no reception.
Is this what's called a Mexican standoff?
Agreed, Saturn has no contact with others. If anything there had been a square from mercury and Venus, so he may have been flirting a bit but it was nothing serious or lasting. Or even deep.
Now, he is on his own.
You once again are smitten, in Saturn's natural house.
He is strong in his own sign, in his 12th which is also his house of self-undoing. We also see your 4th of endings ruler, pluto in his 12th, so this is bothering him subconsciously.
Notice that once again his 2nd ruler is forefront in his house, while the co-ruler of the house is in his 2nd, lots of thoughts on money. Jupiter is also ruler of your 5th, love and children. Note also south node (remember please to insert this, it's helpful) is near the cusp of your 5th. This seems to be what is preying on his mind.
So to the question, does he have someone else? No.
Moon, the question, is in your 6th of work and health, which is a strange placement given the question. I seem to recall in the original chart the 6th became involved by Chiron. Do you work? Do you have health problems?
Notice the Chiron placement here, in the 9th of foreign lands.
The moon of the question will square Uranus, which is his co-ruler.
And then will enter the sun/saturn square from his 12th.
He is definitely conflicted.
This chart will not answer the question of whether you will get together or breakup definitively, which was addressed in the first chart.
However, have you noticed the same issues keep coming to the surface?
His finances, foreign countries, your 5th house matters, your 6th house work/health matters. These are all areas to be looked at, that are creating conflict.
Think it over keeping in mind different points of view.
You might come up with another question to clarify things a little more.
 

lunaluna

Well-known member
Fascinating that the moment you chose to do the chart is exactly the moment when the two significators, in exact square aspect, are contacting the ascendent/descendent axis!
One by conjunction, one by square. With no reception.
Is this what's called a Mexican standoff?
Agreed, Saturn has no contact with others. If anything there had been a square from mercury and Venus, so he may have been flirting a bit but it was nothing serious or lasting. Or even deep.
Now, he is on his own.
You once again are smitten, in Saturn's natural house.
He is strong in his own sign, in his 12th which is also his house of self-undoing. We also see your 4th of endings ruler, pluto in his 12th, so this is bothering him subconsciously.
Notice that once again his 2nd ruler is forefront in his house, while the co-ruler of the house is in his 2nd, lots of thoughts on money. Jupiter is also ruler of your 5th, love and children. Note also south node (remember please to insert this, it's helpful) is near the cusp of your 5th. This seems to be what is preying on his mind.
So to the question, does he have someone else? No.
Moon, the question, is in your 6th of work and health, which is a strange placement given the question. I seem to recall in the original chart the 6th became involved by Chiron. Do you work? Do you have health problems?
Notice the Chiron placement here, in the 9th of foreign lands.
The moon of the question will square Uranus, which is his co-ruler.
And then will enter the sun/saturn square from his 12th.
He is definitely conflicted.
This chart will not answer the question of whether you will get together or breakup definitively, which was addressed in the first chart.
However, have you noticed the same issues keep coming to the surface?
His finances, foreign countries, your 5th house matters, your 6th house work/health matters. These are all areas to be looked at, that are creating conflict.
Think it over keeping in mind different points of view.
You might come up with another question to clarify things a little more.

First of all, when you say “a mexican standoff” do you refer to a situation where there is no “winner”? If it’s an astrology thing, then I don’t know what you are talking about, honestly.

I think I will try and not “abuse” astrology here with another chart. I will try to move on because I broke it off, afterall. The main reason why I asked the question about whether or not he has someone else was because I wanted to see if I kade a rash decision when I broke up. Because thinking he has someone else is what made me pull the trigger. But, on second thought, I wasn’t happy lately anyway, the connection I felt was kind of gone and I lost motivation to “push” through the difficult period.
If he decides to seek me out down the line, then I will see what can I do.
And, to answer your question, I don’t have health issues and I am about to start working, but it’s an online and not a stable job. But what you said does describe our relationship - almost all the odds going against us. It’s sad to think about it, but well, that’s just life, I guess.
Thank you for taking the time to help me understand this better, both the astrological part with the chart interpretatipn but also, your advice. I really appreciate it and your words actually helped calm me down and just accept the situation.
 

ElenaJ

Well-known member
A Mexican standoff is not astrological, it was just a description that popped into my mind.
It is where everyone has a gun drawn on everyone else, and who will be the first to put it down, of course to get shot by the others!
That sun/saturn square involving the ascendent/descendent axis looks similar to me.
He's regretting but not able to express it, maybe not even to himself. You are regretting it but not able to open up to him about it. You two are in a static polarised position.
The first chart does show him making a move towards you eventually. So for the moment you are doing the best thing, just get on with your life and see how it develops (or doesn't).
Take care.
 

ElenaJ

Well-known member
Wouldn't that have been relevant in the answer? If not, could you explain why not? Thanks so much!

Yes, it is a factor. In not so many words as TOL I touched on the approaching trine from moon to Venus. There were a lot of considerations in the chart to outline, and this could have also been included.
 
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