Why is Saturn beating me up so hard? I think I'm learning my lessons...

I've been having a rough Saturn return. The week before I turned 30 I was laid off from my job and since then have been looking for new opportunities. As time as elapsed I've found myself more and more confused about what it is that actually makes me happy, so I am thinking that Saturn may be trying to teach me that money doesn't equal happiness and that I should find something that I am passionate about instead of doing something I hate just so I can be viewed as successful and powerful to others.

Another lesson I feel Saturn is teaching me is in terms of my romantic relationships. At the same time that I lost my job I began dating my boyfriend and it has been a bit of a learning experience for me. I've found myself being more open to his faults and flaws and not dismissing him because he isn't "perfect." I think Saturn is trying to teach me that I need to communicate with people and accept them for who they are and realize that no one is perfect. Also to be open to working on things instead of doing what I would normally do, which is explosively end the relationship and walk away first in order to be in control and go out on top.

I am not sure if any of this is reflected in my chart, but if possible could someone tell me if I'm on the right path here? Saturn is beating me up hard.. I feel like this is my first boxing match and my opponent is Mike Tyson.

Chart with transits and progressions attached. Any input is greatly appreciated

Indeed, I would think since you have Natal Saturn retrograde in your chart, that your Saturn Return would be a tough one. I think the lessons you pointed out are very appropriate of Saturn. I'm going through transiting Saturn conjunct my Sun at the moment and I can identify with how challenging it is. I suppose the best course of action is to be patient and make sure you're learning those lessons!

Also, with Transiting Venus being in Retrograde it may have brought up additional romantic challenges from the past to be revisited during this time too.

StillOne said:

Indeed, I would think since you have Natal Saturn retrograde in your chart, that your Saturn Return would be a tough one. I think the lessons you pointed out are very appropriate of Saturn. I'm going through transiting Saturn conjunct my Sun at the moment and I can identify with how challenging it is. I suppose the best course of action is to be patient and make sure you're learning those lessons!

Also, with Transiting Venus being in Retrograde it may have brought up additional romantic challenges from the past to be revisited during this time too.

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It's interesting that you mentioned Venus being in retrograde and the challenges that come with that. My boyfriend has some emotional baggage that has recently come up and we are working on him dealing with that separate from me because her and I are two different people and it's not fair for him to react as a defense mechanism because of past experiences, etc. I also have Saturn squaring my Venus (in Cap) so I feel like I am really being tested here and learning to grow.

It may appear that Saturn is treating you very badly right now; this is an important part of the normal Saturn cycle...every 30 years it comes back around to the position it held at birth [The Saturn Return] and this represents a signficant developmental phase in life[on the threshold of true maturity]. Now that you have gone around the block once already during the first Saturn cycle, it is time to assess and re-evaluate your individual 'path' in life...this is a time referred to as cleaning out the closet. If we have learned our lessons along the way, we may be rewarded at this time with public recognition or success...for most of us though, we have to look back at where we have been, and determine whether we are evolving appropriately, or whether we have to seriously consider where we went wrong and failed to apply ourselves. This cycle represents the phase where we have to be accountable for our past mistakes.
Saturn demands hard work and responsibility; it requires patience and diligence; it reminds us to take stock of our past actions and the consequences that reveal themselves at the Saturn Return.


Saturn in Libra is all about being responsible in relationships; it is about generating equality, balance and a spirit of co-operation rather than competition. Very often it represents the challenge between the material and the spiritual, whereby most will opt for the material. You state:

anjelik said:

I've been having a rough Saturn return. The week before I turned 30 I was laid off from my job and since then have been looking for new opportunities. As time as elapsed I've found myself more and more confused about what it is that actually makes me happy, so I am thinking that Saturn may be trying to teach me that money doesn't equal happiness and that I should find something that I am passionate about instead of doing something I hate just so I can be viewed as successful and powerful to others.

Another lesson I feel Saturn is teaching me is in terms of my romantic relationships. At the same time that I lost my job I began dating my boyfriend and it has been a bit of a learning experience for me. I've found myself being more open to his faults and flaws and not dismissing him because he isn't "perfect." I think Saturn is trying to teach me that I need to communicate with people and accept them for who they are and realize that no one is perfect. Also to be open to working on things instead of doing what I would normally do, which is explosively end the relationship and walk away first in order to be in control and go out on top.

I am not sure if any of this is reflected in my chart, but if possible could someone tell me if I'm on the right path here? Saturn is beating me up hard.. I feel like this is my first boxing match and my opponent is Mike Tyson.

Chart with transits and progressions attached. Any input is greatly appreciated

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I think you have done a good job interpreting your Saturn return and would make only one comment, just for your consideration. I think Saturn would have you pursue a job that is solid and practical, one that is the foundation for the kind of financial stability and security that you might desire, rather than one about which you may be passionate [although it would be great if it had Saturn's characteristics and you were passionate about it! ]

And you may wish to seek a job that is more plain-spoken and modest than one in which you can viewed by others as powerful and successful.

I am wishing you good luck in looking for work.

Your description is almost a book-perfect example of the transit over Saturn conjunct Midheaven, and Saturn+Pluto square Venus. With Capricorn rising, plus Saturn very prominent in your chart, you'll feel those Saturn transits very personally and deeply .... more so than most people do. And as you know, Saturn isn't the easiest of planets to deal with. I'll bet right now you kinda wish you had Venus or Mercury ruling your chart.

Anyway, you did a great job of analyzing it, and obviously you ARE learning your lessons. Just keep at it: Saturn does teach us to be patient.... eventually. (Just not right now, right?)

anjelik said:

Saturn is beating me up hard.. I feel like this is my first boxing match and my opponent is Mike Tyson.

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I do believe I am in the same boxing match .

You are born very close to my partners birthday/year, although Im not sure of his time so cant comment of the angles and a day off my birthday.

Although why I posted is that I have been thinking that Saturn is being a pain to me all year! Saturn always treats me badly I think because I have a natal Saturn/Sun opposition, so anytime Saturn wants to make a challenging aspect, its really challenging.

I have noticed that you also have some similar Saturn transits and progressions going on.

Actually your Asc/Des is the same as my MC/IC exactly, so Saturn is squaring my MC/IC and causing issues and Saturn is squaring your Asc/Des and causing issues.

Being MC/IC and Saturn natally positioned in my 5th. My recent pregnancy has caused my to weigh up my home life and work life, I feel that I want to work, but cant at the moment, but also want to stay at home to care properly for the pregnancy, but Im sooo bored at home.

I wonder if you have a issue realated to your Saturn in the 8th/9th working against your 1st (self) and 7th (relationships).

For me I also have an upcoming progressed Moon squaring the transitting Saturn, and guess what you also have the same thing. I calculated how long this lasts a couple of weeks ago for myself and its seems to dance to exact and back and forward for the next year. So I think it would be the same for you. So somehow I dont think its going to be plain sailing for us for a long time yet.

The good thing for you, your degrees finish at 26 but mine go all the way up to the end of 29, so its going to finish earlier for you and Im jealous .

Your Saturn return must have been rough. Lucky for you, this is the 3rd and last time transiting Saturn conjuncts your natal Saturn for this cycle and transiting Saturn will turn direct around the 25th and another few months to be out of the retrograde loop. By end of September transiting Saturn will leave Libra for the last time for this cycle.

I must say that my Saturn return was also very lousy and difficult but the lessons once learnt is SOO worth it. If you work constructively with Saturn it will yield rewards later that you will be very grateful for. You are at the last hurdle, all the best.

Well for another 7 years...

Wow, thank you.. I'm overwhelmed by everyone's responses. I really appreciate it all!

kimbermoon: You really hit the nail on the head for me. At the beginning of my Saturn return (which I believe began in the Spring of 2010) I had a major break up where my life was completely uprooted. I did what I usually would do which is shut down, act cold and leave before I am the one that "looks bad" and I always want to remain looking in control, calm/cool/collected like the other person didn't get to me. I dated A LOT in the last 2 years and I just had an incident with my boyfriend where we were on vacation and had an argument and I didn't like how he treated me so I rented a car and drove 200 miles to a friend without a note or anything. He wouldn't let me go unlike the other men in my life and told me that running away doesn't solve the problem, etc. So we talked for HOURS and have decided to COMMUNICATE more when each other is upset rather than just shut down. His Venus is in Virgo so we both are a little more detached than other signs. It's funny I feel like my friends are looking at me like hypocrites because I would never go back to someone after I walked away, but I feel like I should give him a second chance.. people make mistakes and no one is perfect and perhaps I'm just a little bit too harsh when it comes to my expectations of people.. which is why I'm always left empty handed and disappointed. Also, my Uranus/Moon opposition is really difficult for me.. and I always feel extra moody because of my Moon/Sun both being mutable. Thankfully I have a grounded ASC.. even if it is ruled by meanie Saturn.

IleneK: I am not sure if I would like a plain spoken job - the one thing I do miss about my job previous to the one I was laid off from was the shmoozing aspect. I really love people and I'm great at getting to know people. I'm told that I'm really funny and have a really easy going / roll with the punches kind of attitude. As far as a steady paycheck, that would be nice. I was in sales and while I am great at it, it does create some anxiety within me. I guess my life isn't going to fall into place until October... ugh it's been a long one.

Judy_AzVirgo: Yes, I certainly have been feeling Saturn really hard for over 2 years, but I've been plowing through and just hoping that I come out on top. Kind of like how I did when I was a headhunter from late 2008 to 2010 (beginning and "end" of the economic crisis). Every day sucked but I still went into work and tried until the money started to roll in like thunder again. Just had to live frugally for a year.. which I am having to do now too! Saturn ruling my chart has been quite hard on me my entire life now that I think of it!

Kerrie: To answer your question, yes I do have issues with Saturn working against me in my relationships. I can be a little egotistical and I also am too concerned with others perception.. it's a pride factor that essentially has left me heart broken on the inside but refusing to show it in fear of others thinking I'm weak, etc. I'm working on it.

Flowergirl: Thanks for the encouragement. I do hope it pays off in the end.. because I feel like I'm a horse and someone is trying to break me. I'm kind of thankful in a way that I do have such strong Saturn presence in my chart because if not I could feel totally hopeless (which I do at times, but I refuse to wallow for more than a day or a few hours at a time).

Saturn is indeed very prominent in your life. How much have you read up on it's retrograde aspect in your natal chart? I knew nothing of it until I noticed it in your chart. I did a quick google search and was fascinated by it's description in conjunction with your story. http://www.throughnightsfire.com/LoveandSaturnRetrograde.html

Also, you may consider looking at your chart in Equal or Whole Sign house formats since some of your houses are so large in Placidus. It could be very illuminating.

StillOne said:

Saturn is indeed very prominent in your life. How much have you read up on it's retrograde aspect in your natal chart? I knew nothing of it until I noticed it in your chart. I did a quick google search and was fascinated by it's description in conjunction with your story. http://www.throughnightsfire.com/LoveandSaturnRetrograde.html

Also, you may consider looking at your chart in Equal or Whole Sign house formats since some of your houses are so large in Placidus. It could be very illuminating.

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What do you mean Saturn is retrograde in my chart? Does this mean that it will always be working backwards or that only during the few months a year Saturn goes retrograde I will always feel its vibrations? If the latter is true, I can agree that I constantly have felt that nothing ever runs smoothly or goes perfectly in my life. Something always happens to shake things up, etc.

I will have to look into equal and whole sign house formats because I know nothing about them. What is the difference?

And that article was very interesting. I could certainly relate. It's funny because people think I'm very outgoing and friendly and it's really just a facade.. not many people really know me.. just what I want them to know, which is all superficial nonsense. Thank you so much!

anjelik said:

What do you mean Saturn is retrograde in my chart?!

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At the time you were born, Saturn was in retrograde motion. In your chart it's barely noticable, but there is a little "r" by the glyph. You can also see it in the table by the exact degree there will be a little "r". You can notice also that your natal Pluto, Jupiter and Mars are all retrograde in your natal chart and should be explored further... IMO anyway.

StillOne said:

At the time you were born, Saturn was in retrograde motion. In your chart it's barely noticable, but there is a little "r" by the glyph. You can also see it in the table by the exact degree there will be a little "r". You can notice also that your natal Pluto, Jupiter and Mars are all retrograde in your natal chart and should be explored further... IMO anyway.

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I'm definitely going to look into those.. why do I have three really intense planets in natal retrograde? Does this mean I'm doomed? Let the googling begin!