Depressed, suicidal... can someone interpet?

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fifteen

Well-known member
I hope someone can please interpret my chart a little. Maybe it explains what I am going through. I don't ask a full interpretation, just some advice or things that stand out why I feel depressed and suicidal since lately. I don't have mental issues, but I believe that my birth chart could provide some answers for me? and maybe some advice to what I should pay attention? I really long for peace of mind... but I am afraid of myself. :crying: if you need more details please ask, thank you very much!
 
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RosieOne

Well-known member
The whole Pluto in Libra generation is giving a huge sigh of relief now that Saturn has moved out of Libra. What a challenging last two years it has been for Pluto in Libras, especially you, who has your NorthNode Conjunct Pluto. And then Saturn in the sky transitted your Midheaven. Having a career revolution are we? Don't forget Venus conjuncts you MH so Saturn transitted that too recently - you are an artist, right?

Saturn transits make us grow up and get serious. But you have gone through a whole lot in the last year and a half.

The whole Pluto in Libra generation is giving a huge sigh of relief now that Saturn has moved out of Libra. However, when you finally get through the Saturn in Libra transit, darn, you get the Saturn in Scorpio transit!

Saturn is opposite your Chiron, which is the handle of your bucket shaped chart and an important archetype for you. This transit can hurt at first. Make you feel like a failure. Studying with Chiron, and about Chiron, helps at this time. Chiron was a healer, magician, astrologer, warrior, and spiritual teacher - try being one or more of those things yourself.

In the next two years Saturn will transit your terrific Sun/Uranus in Scorpio conjunction - you are an Aquairus sort of Scorpio, mucho intense and smart and amazing. And then Saturn goes over your Mercury - so two more years of working hard on issues of career and calling, but WAY worth the effort. If you work hard and learn and follow your Venus in Libra star, you will succeed - on your own terms. Keep going until YOU feel super successful, which is not necessarily when others think you are.
 
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JUPITERASC

JUPITERASC

Well-known member
fifteen said:
I hope someone can please interpret my chart a little. Maybe it explains what I am going through. I don't ask a full interpretation, just some advice or things that stand out why I feel depressed and suicidal since lately. I don't have mental issues, but I believe that my birth chart could provide some answers for me? and maybe some advice to what I should pay attention? I really long for peace of mind... but I am afraid of myself. :crying: if you need more details please ask, thank you very much!
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Hello fifteen :smile:
There are current discussions on the topic of depression that you may find helpful - such as http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=55126 also
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=55171 as well as "How Much Control Do We Have In Our Lives"? http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=55793
 
tsmall

tsmall

Premium Member
My, what a lovely Venus you have. :smile:

I agree with RosieOne, Saturn isn't being very kind to you right now. If you think in terms of whole sign houses, where the entire sign is the house, he has recently entered your 12th and is approaching your Sun. The 12th isn't called the house of self undoing for nothing. You might want to look a little more into Saturn transits to 12. It also doesn't help that your ASC ruler, Jupiter, is currently retrograde in Gemini/your 7th.

Saturn will cross your natal Sun and Jupiter will go direct at the end of January into early February. There might be a little easing of the pressure you feel then.

Again agreeing with RosieOne, you do need to try to keep a sense of humor about Saturn transits because they are very hard. The thing to focus on is that it is, well, transient. It doesn't last forever. And though at 15 it's difficult to put it into perspective because you don't already have the experience of how to deal with it, whatever lessons you are learning now will serve you for the rest of your life.

I would try looking into that wonderful Venus of yours, and to spend more time focusing on what is positive. And read the links JUPITERASC has provided, if for no other reason than to see that you are not alone.
 
IleneK

IleneK

Premium Member
tsmall said:
My, what a lovely Venus you have. :smile:

I agree with RosieOne, Saturn isn't being very kind to you right now. If you think in terms of whole sign houses, where the entire sign is the house, he has recently entered your 12th and is approaching your Sun. The 12th isn't called the house of self undoing for nothing. You might want to look a little more into Saturn transits to 12. It also doesn't help that your ASC ruler, Jupiter, is currently retrograde in Gemini/your 7th.

Saturn will cross your natal Sun and Jupiter will go direct at the end of January into early February. There might be a little easing of the pressure you feel then.

Again agreeing with RosieOne, you do need to try to keep a sense of humor about Saturn transits because they are very hard. The thing to focus on is that it is, well, transient. It doesn't last forever. And though at 15 it's difficult to put it into perspective because you don't already have the experience of how to deal with it, whatever lessons you are learning now will serve you for the rest of your life.

I would try looking into that wonderful Venus of yours, and to spend more time focusing on what is positive. And read the links JUPITERASC has provided, if for no other reason than to see that you are not alone.
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I agree with your interpretation, tsmall.

I would comment that, if I read the chart correctly, perhaps fifteen may be closer to 35 with natal Pluto at 15 Libra...?

Also, OP's comment about being afraid of oneself may flow from the Moon in Leo square to Sun Uranus and Mercury all in Scorpio and all in the 12th, using whole signs. There may feel like much hidden, much unknown and possibly threatening with Scorpio and Uranus acting from the 12th on such sensitive personal planets as Sun and Moon.

Lastly, transiting Uranus is currently squaring the ruler of the Ascendant and will station to direct within orb of natal Jupiter in mid-December. It will move out of orb in the spring. This may account for a certain level of anxiety.
 
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tsmall

tsmall

Premium Member
IleneK said:
I agree with your interpretation, tsmall.

I would comment that, if I read the chart correctly, perhaps fifteen may be closer to 35 with natal Pluto at 15 Libra...?
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:lol::lol::lol::lol:

Oh my gosh Ilene, isn't that just what I get for not paying attention to the outers.
 
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fifteen

Well-known member
O, yes I am 35. Fifteen is my favorite number! :joyful: sorry about that!

Wow... it is like you read my mind! :happy: Yes career changes are on my mind. I am an artist but I also have a good job. I strongly sense that I should continue with my art and focus on that for 100%, but the problems is: no job = no income. It feels like I'm kinda stuck in a rut... especially with the solar eclipse in Scorpio... it feels like I am being pushed... afraid to make change...

Thank you so much for taking the time for me, I really appreciate it.

Also do you recommend a complete reading by an astrologer? I like astrology, but I cannot figure it for the life of it how it all works.
 
JUPITERASC

JUPITERASC

Well-known member
tsmall said:
My, what a lovely Venus you have. :smile:

I agree with RosieOne, Saturn isn't being very kind to you right now . If you think in terms of whole sign houses, where the entire sign is the house, he has recently entered your 12th and is approaching your Sun. The 12th isn't called the house of self undoing for nothing. You might want to look a little more into Saturn transits to 12. It also doesn't help that your ASC ruler, Jupiter, is currently retrograde in Gemini/your 7th.

Saturn will cross your natal Sun and Jupiter will go direct at the end of January into early February. There might be a little easing of the pressure you feel then.

Again agreeing with RosieOne, you do need to try to keep a sense of humor about Saturn transits because they are very hard. The thing to focus on is that it is, well, transient. It doesn't last forever. And though at 15 it's difficult to put it into perspective because you don't already have the experience of how to deal with it, whatever lessons you are learning now will serve you for the rest of your life.

I would try looking into that wonderful Venus of yours, and to spend more time focusing on what is positive. And read the links JUPITERASC has provided, if for no other reason than to see that you are not alone.
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JMO fifteen This is great advice for anyone experiencing a Saturn transit, whether 15 or 35 or in fact any age. Everything is transient thankfully even Saturn transits!! :smile:
fifteen said:
O, yes I am 35. Fifteen is my favorite number! :joyful: sorry about that!

Wow... it is like you read my mind! :happy: Yes career changes are on my mind. I am an artist but I also have a good job. I strongly sense that I should continue with my art and focus on that for 100%, but the problems is: no job = no income. It feels like I'm kinda stuck in a rut... especially with the solar eclipse in Scorpio... it feels like I am being pushed... afraid to make change...

Thank you so much for taking the time for me, I really appreciate it.

Also do you recommend a complete reading by an astrologer? I like astrology, but I cannot figure it for the life of it how it all works.
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I would recommend Martin Gansten http://www.martingansten.com/a.php
 
Jucy

Jucy

Well-known member
Sorry if this comes off as too direct but did you say you don't have any mental problems? What's Moon Square Mercury and Uranus then?! and coming from the 8th house of your psyche? :p Sun square Mars is self-anger (anger turned inwards... ie depressive tendencies)... You also need to love more, and connect more deeply with others and yourself (as in self-love). This is missing for you. :-( You NEED it. Finally, please call a crisis number in your area. You can go to a local hospital and tell them how you are feeling too. With Neptune in the 12th, it may be exactly what will help you.
 
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fifteen

Well-known member
Oh my... I knew there was some bad news coming. I don't know much about astrology, but when I see/hear something about Mercury I feel very bad. It happens to be that Mercury was going retrograde when I started to feel incredibly depressed. I even planned a way to die, and also set a date in the future. :sad: since today I feel much better, and I would like to thank everyone who commented.
 
JUPITERASC

JUPITERASC

Well-known member
fifteen said:
Oh my... I knew there was some bad news coming. I don't know much about astrology, but when I see/hear something about Mercury I feel very bad. It happens to be that Mercury was going retrograde when I started to feel incredibly depressed. I even planned a way to die, and also set a date in the future. :sad: since today I feel much better, and I would like to thank everyone who commented.
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Good that you are feeling much better fifteen!

Remember that different astrologers have different opinions regarding interpretations of natal charts - not everyone agrees :smile:
 
dhundhun

dhundhun

Well-known member
fifteen said:
I hope someone can please interpret my chart a little. Maybe it explains what I am going through. I don't ask a full interpretation, just some advice or things that stand out why I feel depressed and suicidal since lately. I don't have mental issues, but I believe that my birth chart could provide some answers for me? and maybe some advice to what I should pay attention? I really long for peace of mind... but I am afraid of myself. :crying: if you need more details please ask, thank you very much!
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You are under the following major progressions.

  • Progressed Sun conjunction Neptune
  • Progressed Mars square Sun
And of course Saturn is transiting 10th. Together, they may give a year of challenging/frustrating time. I don't see peace of mind, but influence of Sun/Neptune is getting over (so you should come out of depression).
 
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dr. farr

Well-known member
By duodenary progression (2.5 degrees per year of life, see eg Charles Carter's "Symbolic Directions in Modern Astrology"), the only relevant element (to your current problems) which I can see is that natal Moon (emotions, feelings, etc) has dp (dudenary progressed) 87.5 degrees and is conjunct natal Uranus (and combust natal Sun): the often suddenlly changing/disruptive influence of Uranus when combined with the Moon, plus the combusted state of the dpMoon via the natal Sun (Sun as a vital center) could well account for what you have been subjectively experiencing.
Fortunately this is a transient phenomenon, and will pass away as the dpMoon moves on and away from this Uranian/combust Sun contact. The lesson (so to speak) of this contact (dpMoon/natal Uranus) is to willingly MAKE CHANGES, controlled changes under your direction, and to do so without anticipatory fear or worry-a kind of "just do it!" advice from the Cosmos...
 
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tsmall

tsmall

Premium Member
fifteen said:
Yes career changes are on my mind. I am an artist but I also have a good job. I strongly sense that I should continue with my art and focus on that for 100%, but the problems is: no job = no income. It feels like I'm kinda stuck in a rut... especially with the solar eclipse in Scorpio... it feels like I am being pushed... afraid to make change...
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Veronica, I am just a fairly new student. Not a professional astrologer. But, you have several members, including dr. farr, telling you that what you are experiencing is transient, no matter how they came to that opinion. In fact...seeing it from several different ways, in the same natal chart, should reassure you that what you are experiencing now will pass.

Of course you are an artist. Venus? In domicile, and in her own terms, adhering to your MC? She rules and lives in your 11th house of Good Spirit and gifts from the King...the house of hopes and wishes. Venus IS the arts, and the MC is the career, the reputation, the way we find our calling in life. That she is in her own bounds means that she may be able to ignore the dictates of her triplicity ruler (in this case Saturn, as he rules the Air triplicity by day) and go her own way. Saturn is in sect, so he wants to work with you, and he rules your second house...Capricorn. Sitting in your 9th...makes it hard for you to have faith. Saturn wants steady and sturdy and guaranteed, so when you try to do what Venus suggests, Saturn sits up and says "wait a minute. Can we make money from this? Can this bring us security? Who's going to pay the bills there, Venus? I don't want to be a starving artist..." You know, you've been having this internal dialog for a while now.

Is there any way to work the art on the side, while keeping the job that pays the bills? Is there any way to feed the soul while you feed the body?

I went through Saturn transiting the 12th not that long ago (then the 1st, and I am so heartily thankful that he has moved on to my 2nd) and what I did was hide from the world. Miserable experience. He hit my Venus/ASC ruler, and I quit my job to be home. Saturn...tears everything down. To the roots, to the base, says look at this. Does it work? Do you like it? And then if you don't answer he says "look again, only this time I'm going to make it so you have to look again. By causing external events that seem unrelated but really are just, hey, my way of saying you can't even try to ignore me."

18* Sag. Your ASC is in the domicile of Jupiter, but bound by Venus. Triplicity of the Sun. The triplicity ruler of the point under investigation is supposed to be the best dictate of the Universe/Spiritual expression of that point. The term or bound rule will show how it manifests in the flesh. Jupiter is exalted in your chart, but he can't see the ASC. Guess what though? Venus can. And she is the bound/term ruler of your ASC.

Saturn makes you afraid. Venus says...what if?

Don't be hasty, because Saturn has a point...but...what if?
 
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gen6k

Well-known member
your getting double hard transits thats why.

currently its saturn leaving the venus region and in the square mars region.
afterwards a conjunct sun with a square moon is going to happen.

this saturn/sun saturn square moon is different from what youre experiencing now.

saturn square mars is more of a physiological depression, and saturn conjunct venus is more of a relational depression.

you really need to fix something in your diet, sleeping, physical expression, etc. in order to gain resilience to depressions.

this would be more of a self-esteem and emotional depression, but it also depends on rulership/dispositer/aspects.
 
Claire19

Claire19

Well-known member
fifteen said:
I hope someone can please interpret my chart a little. Maybe it explains what I am going through. I don't ask a full interpretation, just some advice or things that stand out why I feel depressed and suicidal since lately. I don't have mental issues, but I believe that my birth chart could provide some answers for me? and maybe some advice to what I should pay attention? I really long for peace of mind... but I am afraid of myself. :crying: if you need more details please ask, thank you very much!


qqHxQ.jpg
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Can you load a natal chart with the transits and progressions on it.
I do think you have emotional issues though with Moon square Mercury Uranus from the 8th. There is no stigma or anything to be ashamed of. Depression is as much a mental and emotional issue and is often repressed anger. Try to let out what is really bothering you. Go scream in a forest if you have to.

Suicide is never the answer and you just come back and do it all over again and you do not escape anything. Not to mention the pain you cause others by that act which creates karma and which you have to witness from the other side.

Can you find some alternative therapies that address that issue and can relieve your feelings to give you hope? Go talk to someone who is non judgemental??
 
C

crazedrat

Banned
Going by sidereal you have mars in debilitation, sun in debilitation, venus in debilitation, & saturn in a difficult sign. Mars & Sun are also at their peak degrees of debilitation within the sign. Saturn being conjunct/square sun / mars / moon would only add to the problem.
With mars there is slight neechabhanga, since the planetary lord moon is in swakshetra cancer, and also in the same sign as mars. There is also a strong maha yogada for both these planets. This is still not a full neechabhanga status, but partial. With neechabhanga planets there is still alot of hardship, but good results come after the period of hardship. Since this mars is lagna lord I'd say you will definitely notice this happening.
 
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RosieOne

Well-known member
Yes career changes are on my mind. I am an artist but I also have a good job. I strongly sense that I should continue with my art and focus on that for 100%, but the problems is: no job = no income. It feels like I'm kinda stuck in a rut... especially with the solar eclipse in Scorpio... it feels like I am being pushed... afraid to make change...

Again, we do not live on a planet that honors and supports artists, yet we incarnated as artists here anyway. Grieve that and let it go.

Day gigs are not bad things for artists, they give us somethign to do art about. Our day gigs keep us among people, keep us humble and in touch with real people.

Get your art out there. Art that you have already got out there, promote. Start calling yourself an artist when introducing yourself. Make a business card about being an artist. Volunteer to do your art for free for a good cause or two.
 
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