The disgusting truth about love, sex, and attraction that nobody wants to hear

Starsareround

Well-known member
I've been into astrology for a long time now. I've been in this website and I've observed people in my daily life through the lens of psychology and through the lens of astrology. So call this my idealism(neptune), call it my need to probe into the truth about love and the world we live in(pluto)-at the end of the day I feel like this must be conveyed especially in this site that is obsessed with r/s.

80 percent of women have sex with 20 percent of men. That is the truth.

When it comes to astrological compatibility in order to have great compatibility in my opinion, you can ask me about this in the comments or PM me as to why you need the following:
Mars or venus conjunction or opposing asc lord/ asc or venus conjunct mars
North Node opposing or conjuncting sun, moon, venus or asc
A connection (preferably a conjunction) between both person's luminaries
And perhaps a small pluto connection for passion.

Now this stuff works in most cases only considering whether or not both people are their best version of themselves (considering they are healthy-another term for well-being or even attractive).

This stuff also works IF you're not brain washed by the media's perceptions of what you SHOULD want.

Now another video I watched recently and I will give the link below is what someone's 'personal handicap' in relationships?

And he listed pluto, neptune, uranus, and north node with sun, moon, venus, and/or ascendent (or if moon, sun, venus is in the 8th/6th/12th house), subtract points and make you incapable almost of being in a long-term relationship. I don't think he's wrong and I'll explain why.

So I came up with my own theories(now you can prove me wrong and challenge me on this as this is highly anecdotal) but my theory is pluto wants intensity and probes to the dark parts of someone's soul and causes paranoia and chaos not only in the themselves but their partner. Neptune wants idealism, and Uranus is just interested in the latest thing that gives them an adreneline rush almost devoid of emotion. Rahu/north node tends to have the negative aspects of all the three transpersonal planets-(neptune's fantasy and illusions, pluto's obsessiveness and intensity, and uranus's desire for newness)

I've realized vedic astrology almost always hates on the 8th house whereas western astrology almost glamorizes it.


Which brings me to my next point. Unfortunately for men, either you get women or you don't. Unfortunately for women, you will get men easily especially if you're attractive but you'll easily lose them for another attractive woman or someone more attractive.

Women chose top 20 percent(20 percent of men have the most sex), most of which has to do with wealth, height, slightly attractiveness, and domineering personalities. From what I've seen 75 percent of these men fall for or look for attractiveness and since men are supposed to be more 'polygamous,' they also lose interest way faster. They also like variability so they'll like one woman as the girl with the cute face, the other one for a body part, another one because she's exotic, another one because she reminds him of a scene from a movie. So if you caught your man glancing at your girlfriend's/sisters **** (just know that they are doing it and it makes it even more exciting for them because it's taboo).

And with the sexualization everywhere these days, some men also expect to be honest about these things with their girlfriends causing insecurities but girl needs to be 'cool' about it or "crazy jealous girlfriend" label. And a huge number of these men later go and talk about their girlfriends' and their girlfriends' friends/sisters/other girls/their friend's girlfriends body parts to their 'boys'/friends afterwards anyways. And lots of men don't know the concept of "bros before hoes," especially when it comes to a hot girl.

Women usually are loyal to each-other but never undermine another woman's need for validation. Most women I know will bias themselves into believing a man is looking at them only to feel more attractive than usual. So it's not like women are any better.

Also much of older men are in seekingarrangement.com, don't misquote me I said many of them (not majority of them). And if your older husband isn't, don't you ever wonder what he will do if he was rich?

Also, before you take someone's virginity because you want to simply have sex, do keep in mind they are more likely to be attached to you than other women already in the game. It's not because they are crazy or obsessive, it's because they are simply human.

And women, majority of men will like you for your looks charm and if you manage to create a fascinating enough persona, all of which they will easily leave for someone else, perhaps someone better BUT NOT ALWAYS lol. With the state of how things are today, also don't be surprised if guys start seeing in you a bank account as well as a bed. So don't try find self-worth in your looks, pursue something worthwhile in life.

Men, little things matter, honesty matters, cordiality matters, courting matters. But once you got the woman, luckily for you she will be more attached than usual. So get your game together, don't become INCELs, and exploit all the natural attractiveness you were blessed with, use astrology since you all believe in such things, use psychology and evolutionary science but don't exploit it to the point it will have repercussions. (and this is important and a lesson pluto will teach you)

Now when we go to the select few couples that really love eachother, you have abandonment issues, past heart breaks, childhood isssues, and most importantly projection all of which they bring into their current relationship. And with couples having so much options, and with people never being able to tolerate pettiness, they fall apart as well.

So say hello to a world where sexualization is rampant, where we live in a narcisstic culture and where every one gets their heart broken and has some sort of family issue. Where older men care more about their daughter's hot coworker than their daughter or her old mother.

I know people are going to hate me for this post, and I am probably going to be putting insecurities in both men and women. But what I'm trying to do is give people a realistic understanding of how love/attraction works so they don't come on this site expecting the masses to tell them that they have a an earth bending romance.

Disclaimer-Many pluto relatinships I've seen resulted in painful transformations, not passionate love affairs that validates each person's sense of self.


Now let's talk about beauty and magnetism since we all love that topic on this so much and let's talk about it in terms of soceital standards and what the person is likely to attract as a result.

Perfect by societal standards-will have saturn as the highest degree planet or asc lord or mercury conjunct to these because they are thin and they seem to have amazing facial structure. Now if you have the above and you have some venus/neptune/pluto in aspect or even something like moon in scorpio in addition, you're the hottest you can get. Think Adriana Lima. They also are probably more efficient or seen by society as ideal, smart, dominant etc. So this is simply put in a masculine planet with a nice body (saturn, mars) with another one that is said to have a beautiful face(mercury) or other feminine planet(venus etc). In vedic texts, mercury is said to be extremely beautiful.

magnetic archetype- These people are magnetic, but don't look perfect and usually attract heart breaks. They may have even 'cuter' or sexier facial expressions than the above and some people may not even know why they are attracted to them. These are venus/neptune/pluto/phlagmetic archetypes. They usually tend to have venus as asc lords or highest degree planet with luminaries and venus either oposing or conjuncting venus/neptune/pluto. I've noticed these folks are almost never ugly especially venus but they rarely are perfect looking or have beach bodies unless they work really hard unlike the above. I have seen them continuously attract tragic incidences, love stories, predators(except for the venus archetype). They also often pull in incompatible people that leave them after and they can be tragic and insecure. Men with this archetype is Ryan Gosling. A woman of this archetype would be Kate Winslet. People like them usually because of their warm yet outer worldly spirit, or in the case of venus-because of their artistic tendencies/aesthetic sense/charm/down to earthness. But usually something about them lacks in a worldly/social sense.

Also the pluto/neptune archetype is also linked to BPD and covert narcissm but on another note can also produce avoidant, anxiety prone and codependent folk and charming personalities. It's not always entirely their fault and that's a dynamic I'll explain later. There was an article I read about BPDs being attrative women a lot of the times with an iq as high as 130 or even higher that usually has an enticing attire on. One of the reason could be because intuitiveness/openness to experience is related to IQ but without the groundedness of thinking functions(I'm going into big five and mbti), they lack ability to be too successful in life unlike uranian and mercurial folks.

Anyways this is my rant/explanation of the world. If you want the video I mentioned earlier.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16x3oGdfpDQ&t=1357s

Let’s not sugar coat anything! Lol. Current Moon in Capricorn separating conjunct Saturn.

It’s a good dose of bitter tonic to face these realities from time to time, but I think there is a lot about partnership that can be transformative and valuable. You can achieve relationships that aren’t under the above description, it’s not impossible. I think there are a lot of ways to kind of creatively connect in spite of this cynical world.
 

Starsareround

Well-known member
But absolutely 100% women should always always (if possible) have a career and a plan for their life and never ever become totally dependent.
 

watcherofthesouth

Well-known member
And with the sexualization everywhere these days, some men also expect to be honest about these things with their girlfriends causing insecurities but girl needs to be 'cool' about it or "crazy jealous girlfriend" label. And a huge number of these men later go and talk about their girlfriends' and their girlfriends' friends/sisters/other girls/their friend's girlfriends body parts to their 'boys'/friends afterwards anyways.

Very true and well articulated.

I think you bring up some interesting points. As a Pisces/Scorpio Moon (always wondering what's real and what isn't on earth and wanting to get to the heart of the matter), I have thought a lot about these things. Sometimes (in my WTF moments) I wonder why we exist in a world where as a female, your innate goal (on average) is to fall in love with a person and be loyal to someone who finds other people attractive and motivated to continue spreading his seed due to biological functions that are part of "human nature". That just plain *****, if you ask me (to be fair, men also have similar perplexities about females). I think it is just one more thing in life that could be considered a Yin and Yang component (amazing and awful at the same time) designed to teach us a variety of lessons. Some are harder lessons than others based on that thing we call a birth chart.

No matter how beautiful and rich you are, you might still deal with insecurities or WTF moments (Giselle and Tom Brady come to mind who have had their share of issues). I wish there was an answer.
 

love-thinking

Well-known member
Let’s not sugar coat anything! Lol. Current Moon in Capricorn separating conjunct Saturn.

It’s a good dose of bitter tonic to face these realities from time to time, but I think there is a lot about partnership that can be transformative and valuable. You can achieve relationships that aren’t under the above description, it’s not impossible. I think there are a lot of ways to kind of creatively connect in spite of this cynical world.

lol i didn't even realize moon is in capricorn right now conjunct saturn. But makes sense why I feel so cynical. I also have sun and mars in capricorn.
 

love-thinking

Well-known member
Very true and well articulated.

I think you bring up some interesting points. As a Pisces/Scorpio Moon (always wondering what's real and what isn't on earth and wanting to get to the heart of the matter), I have thought a lot about these things. Sometimes (in my WTF moments) I wonder why we exist in a world where as a female, your innate goal (on average) is to fall in love with a person and be loyal to someone who finds other people attractive and motivated to continue spreading his seed due to biological functions that are part of "human nature". That just plain *****, if you ask me (to be fair, men also have similar perplexities about females). I think it is just one more thing in life that could be considered a Yin and Yang component (amazing and awful at the same time) designed to teach us a variety of lessons. Some are harder lessons than others based on that thing we call a birth chart.

No matter how beautiful and rich you are, you might still deal with insecurities or WTF moments (Giselle and Tom Brady come to mind who have had their share of issues). I wish there was an answer.


That's a good way of looking at it, I just wish yin and yang fit in together more nicely. They're like puzzle pieces that leaves a few gaps empty. But that's just the world we live in that's meant for contrast and pain.
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
I think this is a great thing to talk about because the way society has been built is teaching us to blind ourselves to it.

In schools we are taught maths and English etc but we are not educated about thinking for ourselves. Yes, there is sex education and we are taught to say no to strangers, but we are basically being trained to be obedient and respect hierarchy, but we are not taught to think independently or to question the authority before we give ourselves up to it. We are not taught that danger is not black and white, we are taught to think the same and so we are trained to think everyone else thinks the same. It suits society to make us subservient and not independent or sovereign. We are not taught self-defence because it suits any hierarchy to have us in victim mode, so any hierarchy only perpetuates the cycle.

In family dynamics, it's even worse. Girls can perceive at an early age that it is important to be likeable and pretty, and then those girls will just drift into a relationship with a cheating man because it makes her feel likeable and pretty and not question HIS authority. It goes against respecting the patriarchal father to question the authority coming from other men, it would make you subconsciously feel ugly and rejected, and so the natural instinct to question is buried deep. And if you are not in a relationship, then having the male patriarchal tone in our psyche and years of obedience training, leads us to be willing to betray other women and seek a man at any cost.

This is still a patriarchal society, make no mistake about that. If men want to be misogynistic, there is a whole society of girls trained to be a willing conduit to it. And society covers their *** if they choose to listen to their darkest urges.

How much training and karmic pain does it take before we start to open our minds to the energy around us? Society is perfectly built to fill us with nonsense to stop our brains from wakening up to any subtle energy around us. Our ego's don't want to see anything other than the perfect version of ourselves, and so the negative energy needs to be let out somewhere.

How many people are taught that some people have completely different perspective's than us? Most women don't know how to defend themselves, they are trained to be pretty and well behaved, and then they go out and get drunk and have no idea that some men are out there to wait for someone like them. We are not taught to think for ourselves, we are taught to think as a team, and that makes us sitting ducks to pedophiles, psychopaths or anyone with a dark urge.

I think your post was very politely written and there is a lot of darkness actually to what youre talking about, and its great it is here for females to read.
 
Last edited:

love-thinking

Well-known member
I think this is a great thing to talk about because the way society has been built is teaching us to blind ourselves to it.

In schools we are taught maths and English etc but we are not educated about thinking for ourselves. Yes, there is sex education and we are taught to say no to strangers, but we are basically being trained to be obedient and respect hierarchy, but we are not taught to think independently or to question the authority before we give ourselves up to it. We are not taught that danger is not black and white, we are taught to think the same and so we are trained to think everyone else thinks the same. It suits society to make us subservient and not independent or sovereign. We are not taught self-defence because it suits any hierarchy to have us in victim mode, so any hierarchy only perpetuates the cycle.

In family dynamics, it's even worse. Girls can perceive at an early age that it is important to be likeable and pretty, and then those girls will just drift into a relationship with a cheating man because it makes her feel likeable and pretty and not question HIS authority. It goes against respecting the patriarchal father to question the authority coming from other men, it would make you subconsciously feel ugly and rejected, and so the natural instinct to question is buried deep. And if you are not in a relationship, then having the male patriarchal tone in our psyche and years of obedience training, leads us to be willing to betray other women and seek a man at any cost.

This is still a patriarchal society, make no mistake about that. If men want to be misogynistic, there is a whole society of girls trained to be a willing conduit to it. And society covers their *** if they choose to listen to their darkest urges.

How much training and karmic pain does it take before we start to open our minds to the energy around us? Society is perfectly built to fill us with nonsense to stop our brains from wakening up to any subtle energy around us. Our ego's don't want to see anything other than the perfect version of ourselves, and so the negative energy needs to be let out somewhere.

How many people are taught that some people have completely different perspective's than us? Most women don't know how to defend themselves, they are trained to be pretty and well behaved, and then they go out and get drunk and have no idea that some men are out there to wait for someone like them. We are not taught to think for ourselves, we are taught to think as a team, and that makes us sitting ducks to pedophiles, psychopaths or anyone with a dark urge.

I think your post was very politely written and there is a lot of darkness actually to what youre talking about, and its great it is here for females to read.

No you're one hundred percent right. I feel like our current state of affairs/system is not working. I don't know what needs to be changed(perhaps more awareness) but I know something needs to be changed. Back in the day, there was a familial unit with each family having many kids. People were focused on bringing food to the table and raising every member of the family efficiently. You had to to at least be respectful to the brother/father of the family in order to get the girl. Now not saying this system is superior but at least people had some sort of system in which things could be controlled, and managed and everyone reminded the other of someone in their family so respect was almost always mandatory.

These days, (I am not conservative but I know I sound like one), the family unit is much smaller, more broken families, and sexualization is everywhere and when it comes to everything the bar is being set higher. People want to be richer, prettier, have the best brands, be smarter etc. We are made to believe that we have the freedom and entitlement to aim for the stars and that what we have is never enough or good enough.

I think this issue is not exclusive to men against girls only. It's just how our culture is. We treat everything as a commodity, and go through life thinking what we have is not good enough.

The sex-culture/**** culture has many fetishes and sub categories that cause male hormones to skyrocket every time they come to a situation even slightly close to it. A cute girl that looks submissive-boom. Girl that's well endowed-boom, 'exotic girl'-boom, petite girl you can throw around-boom, tall super model look-boom, your girlfriend's hot friend-boom because it's so taboo it's exciting. That's how men think, and when people think 'I'm his ideal, I'm good to him,' statistically speaking chances are he will never realize how beautiful you are inside, will continuously think and look at other women, and is probably dating you because you look good, and you're agreeable and every now and then provide him with something.

You provide him with material things, and all of a sudden he's so used to it, he takes you for granted because the human mind is so weak it usually never perceives something that's way better than them. You can be a queen, and he'll perceive you to only be a merchent, because he can't comprehend the fact that you're way too good for him. But he definitely wouldn't mind boasting about anything in regards to you to his friends.


It's not easier for men either and thus INCEL exists as I said earlier 20 percent of the men population are lucky enough to get lots of women.

But that's also another reason you need to realize most men are desperate. Most women are vulnerable and gullible and don't realize how desperate these men are. They think it's an equal exchange/courtship, but most of these men will want a temporary source of sex and call it dating because it's so scarce. Often times they'll make themselves believe that it is dating but do they really want any responsibility? They'll make their way through getting a source of every resource you have and call it love. Then move on to the next best thing/ or new thing that can provide them with the same thing.

You signed up for dating. They signed up for unlimited sex with a girl w/o STDs that's sweet and agreeable, and try to get away with gaining from you, and the more liberties you give them in regards to deviating from monogamy, the better.

And now predators or borderline paedophiles. There's already a subculture present of sugar daddies, women that love older men (some of which do have issues with their father), and there's more of a medium (online) these days than ever before for all of the above characters to go on the hunt. Some of them with wives that don't want to face the cold hard truth. Some of whose victims try and hard to just like their wives seem agreeable and less trouble. How many girls allow disgusting sexual acts done to them but will not have access to their partner's or even be allowed to be friends on social media all in the name of not being the stereotype of a jealous girlfriend. Where's responsibility? Where's giving back?


What do you see in the above examples? Men are ignorent and filled with self serving biases and women are ignorent and filled with self serving biases. Both in different ways but ignorent nonetheless. They both lie to themselves. Some are evolutionary dynamics bound to take place whether anyone likes it or not, and some are a consequence of where our culture is heading. Before it was alright to notice a woman's beauty and comment on it, now it's cool to comment on more than just the face.

Another issue is people don't realize how effective a heart break/destruction of innocence is. How it blackens someone's soul just like that. Two of the nicest individuals i know literally never dated in their life. Then they project their brokenness on other people and the cycle repeats and this time the kids will be heart broken before 10 because mommy or daddy left.

I know I sound super cynical but we are living in a world that allows soul loss and medicating this soul loss with empty material things. I don't have the answers to what to do about it.

And I know this sounds overly feminist and I didn't mean for it to sound this way and I know and acknowledge women are and can be just as bad and men have their own unique issues but this is just how things are and the quicker people can be honest about it the better.
 

thelivingsky

Well-known member
How old are you? Your rant sounds like you are operating in a culture of people who are quite young and inexperienced? Or perhaps you need to seek out more spiritually advanced people? The dynamics you are expressing are real, but many people outgrow these self-defeating patterns.

"Now this stuff works in most cases only considering whether or not both people are their best version of themselves (considering they are healthy-another term for well-being or even attractive). "

Yes, being the best version of yourself is helpful, as authenticity is empowering. What you are probably referring to here is being more emotionally mature, psychologically healthy, self-aware, self-actualized or in other words spiritually advanced. "Spiritual" here does not imply any religion or even a belief in a God.I think it has always been true that the majority of the population are quite spiritually challenged. It probably will never change.


People come into relationships at all different levels of maturity and wisdom or spiritual development. When I read charts I usually can get a good feel for what level of development the person is, and if they are on a very low level , I expect even a great compatible astro profile is likely to be difficult. And conversely a people who are quite spiritually advanced can often overcome the difficult issues in their own astrology and their astrological difficulties with their partners.


"This stuff also works IF you're not brain washed by the media's perceptions of what you SHOULD want. "

Yes, young inexperienced people and those who are shallow rely on the mores of society to tell them what they want. Many out grow these shallow expectations with age and maturity.


Yes, other things besides astrology are influencing us and this is good. After all if you take the chart of a really awful person, say someone like Hitler or Charles Manson, and do some synastry or composites chart of these people with the charts of your friends or family, you'll likely get some really good combinations . But surely you would not wish that these friends of yours have an intimate relationship with Manson or Hitler. The message here is that people have to learn to identify people with emotional dysfunctions, NPD, etc. or just basic immaturity and selfishness in potential partners before you give your heart away and before you rely on astrology to make your decisions for you.

"Unfortunately for men, either you get women or you don't. Unfortunately for women, you will get men easily especially if you're attractive but you'll easily lose them for another attractive woman or someone more attractive."

Do you need "women" or just one good woman? Yes, the dating scene is very much a market place where we all are looking for the best we can get. Men are usually looking for beauty, personality, low- maintenance which often means 'she wants the same things I want and she is pliable."
Women often want alpha male types who they believe will give them status and financial comfort. Some of this is a natural expression of the animus/anima polarity, the yin vs yang. Some is as you say, the result of hyper-sexualization of the culture and other cultural changes.


Here's a quote I heard that contains some wisdom that both sexes eventually learn if they are not hopelessly shallow:




"Women learn to be attracted to the men they love, and men learn to love the women they are attracted to."



I never was attracted to the best looking or most powerful men. Women like me are out there. And men who are not promiscuous and genuinely loving are out there too.



As for astrology of compatibility, synastry is very telling but I tend to see the composite chart as a better indicator of the destiny or fate of the relationship and therefore its longevity. I have been doing composites for over 40 years and have done extensive research sampling composites and synastry chart of couples who have remained committed for decades. Composites need to be part of the analysis along with synastry.



And one cannot deny that the natal chart will indicate that some of us are destined to have a more difficult journey in our pursuit of fulfilling relationships. There does seem to be a higher rate of relationships sampling/turnover/divorce in recent decades, but that may not be a negative. As I have done my research, I have seen the astrological evidence that 50-60 years ago couples with mediocre or really bad astro compatibility stayed together and the really good examples are more rare in this populations. people just stayed together in mediocre relationships.



I recommend everyone with romantic relationship frustrations to read David Deida's work especially his Intimate Communion or The Way of the Superior Man.



Barb at thelivingsky.wordpress.com
 

love-thinking

Well-known member
How old are you? Your rant sounds like you are operating in a culture of people who are quite young and inexperienced? Or perhaps you need to seek out more spiritually advanced people? The dynamics you are expressing are real, but many people outgrow these self-defeating patterns.


"Now this stuff works in most cases only considering whether or not both people are their best version of themselves (considering they are healthy-another term for well-being or even attractive). "

Yes, being the best version of yourself is helpful, as authenticity is empowering. What you are probably referring to here is being more emotionally mature, psychologically healthy, self-aware, self-actualized or in other words spiritually advanced. "Spiritual" here does not imply any religion or even a belief in a God.I think it has always been true that the majority of the population are quite spiritually challenged. It probably will never change.



People come into relationships at all different levels of maturity and wisdom or spiritual development. When I read charts I usually can get a good feel for what level of development the person is, and if they are on a very low level , I expect even a great compatible astro profile is likely to be difficult. And conversely a people who are quite spiritually advanced can often overcome the difficult issues in their own astrology and their astrological difficulties with their partners.


"This stuff also works IF you're not brain washed by the media's perceptions of what you SHOULD want. "

Yes, young inexperienced people and those who are shallow rely on the mores of society to tell them what they want. Many out grow these shallow expectations with age and maturity.


Yes, other things besides astrology are influencing us and this is good. After all if you take the chart of a really awful person, say someone like Hitler or Charles Manson, and do some synastry or composites chart of these people with the charts of your friends or family, you'll likely get some really good combinations . But surely you would not wish that these friends of yours have an intimate relationship with Manson or Hitler. The message here is that people have to learn to identify people with emotional dysfunctions, NPD, etc. or just basic immaturity and selfishness in potential partners before you give your heart away and before you rely on astrology to make your decisions for you.

"Unfortunately for men, either you get women or you don't. Unfortunately for women, you will get men easily especially if you're attractive but you'll easily lose them for another attractive woman or someone more attractive."

Do you need "women" or just one good woman? Yes, the dating scene is very much a market place where we all are looking for the best we can get. Men are usually looking for beauty, personality, low- maintenance which often means 'she wants the same things I want and she is pliable."
Women often want alpha male types who they believe will give them status and financial comfort. Some of this is a natural expression of the animus/anima polarity, the yin vs yang. Some is as you say, the result of hyper-sexualization of the culture and other cultural changes.


Here's a quote I heard that contains some wisdom that both sexes eventually learn if they are not hopelessly shallow:




"Women learn to be attracted to the men they love, and men learn to love the women they are attracted to."



I never was attracted to the best looking or most powerful men. Women like me are out there. And men who are not promiscuous and genuinely loving are out there too.



As for astrology of compatibility, synastry is very telling but I tend to see the composite chart as a better indicator of the destiny or fate of the relationship and therefore its longevity. I have been doing composites for over 40 years and have done extensive research sampling composites and synastry chart of couples who have remained committed for decades. Composites need to be part of the analysis along with synastry.



And one cannot deny that the natal chart will indicate that some of us are destined to have a more difficult journey in our pursuit of fulfilling relationships. There does seem to be a higher rate of relationships sampling/turnover/divorce in recent decades, but that may not be a negative. As I have done my research, I have seen the astrological evidence that 50-60 years ago couples with mediocre or really bad astro compatibility stayed together and the really good examples are more rare in this populations. people just stayed together in mediocre relationships.



I recommend everyone with romantic relationship frustrations to read David Deida's work especially his Intimate Communion or The Way of the Superior Man.



Barb at thelivingsky.wordpress.com


I am 23. I am not spiritually advanced nor am I challenged. I just see these dynamics and I'm not scared to admit these dynamics. Because so many people are operating from a place of ignorence and self-serving biases aka the way we have been brainwashed to think/believe all our lives.

Yes people come together in all sorts of levels of maturity or time, but the question is does it work or last? Most relationships don't last and is tainted by other forces such as someone's perception of what a relationship should be like, or what someone's ideal is like.

Secondly, another thing most people don't realize. Let's say I have my venus/pluto/mars opposite my sun, and my venus/pluto/mars is in taurus. If have your asc in taurus, you have a smoking habit, is obese, your hair is pink, perhaps I will look at you but chances are, I won't date you.

That's the same case with if I don't have venus/mars/pluto in a particular sign, and a magnetic/well-taken care of gemini comes my way, I'll be more likely to give him a chance even though we are not that compatible and probably won't last given other things in our synastry doesn't work. But if the taurus was well taken care of, there's absolutely nothing stopping me from pursuing him.

That's synastry for you. However, if you have attraction/karmic/compulsion aspects without a connection with luminaries, that's in my opinion a deadly combination and chances are both or someone's going to end up being very hurt.

It's not about being shallow, it's about being realistic and equipping ourselves and those around us with practical solutions to problems that occur way more than people would like to admit. Most people don't want to see it or admit it because it hurts their sense of ego because chances are lots of people are in a category of people that can be vulnerable to getting hurt by the things I mentioned above.

Now what I mentioned above are situations that occur a lot but isn't always the case. But I'm sick of hearing the same stories over again from the mouths of women. I'm sick of seeing this robbery of someone's time, body, and emotions, and running away and saying "oh well, you're the crazy one for still being drawn to me." It's not okay. I'm also sick of girls luring in men and then boasting about how crazy men are for them as well. I'm sick of people fooling themselves and I'm sick of the divorce rate being so high. So no, I'm not sexist and I'm not a feminist at the very least.

It's not spirituality to fool one's self, enter a relationship with a man your intuition told you was wrong for you, and then go through a dark phase in life where you think everyone's a bad person and then come out of it thinking your pain transformed you. It's not foolish to be concerned a man is using you for sex because it's not the easiest to find it elsewhere and will be using your resources, and will eventually disrespect you, move on to a situation that suits them better.

You know what is spirituality? Forgiveness, Kindness, giving to the poor, being a good friend and daughter/son, grandson/granddaughther, helping your community, and learning. Spirituality is not choosing a woman for sex, marrying her, leaving her for her friend, breaking your 4 year old's daughter's heart. Spirituality is not turning goth/emo after a broken relationship.

Call me what you want, women these days are conditioned to expect less in relationships. They are conditioned not to question motives. Men are conditioned to get as much as they can and with the economy being ****, half of them will settle because they think they're incapable of reaching a good state financially.
 

love-thinking

Well-known member
How old are you? Your rant sounds like you are operating in a culture of people who are quite young and inexperienced? Or perhaps you need to seek out more spiritually advanced people? The dynamics you are expressing are real, but many people outgrow these self-defeating patterns.

"Now this stuff works in most cases only considering whether or not both people are their best version of themselves (considering they are healthy-another term for well-being or even attractive). "

Yes, being the best version of yourself is helpful, as authenticity is empowering. What you are probably referring to here is being more emotionally mature, psychologically healthy, self-aware, self-actualized or in other words spiritually advanced. "Spiritual" here does not imply any religion or even a belief in a God.I think it has always been true that the majority of the population are quite spiritually challenged. It probably will never change.


People come into relationships at all different levels of maturity and wisdom or spiritual development. When I read charts I usually can get a good feel for what level of development the person is, and if they are on a very low level , I expect even a great compatible astro profile is likely to be difficult. And conversely a people who are quite spiritually advanced can often overcome the difficult issues in their own astrology and their astrological difficulties with their partners.


"This stuff also works IF you're not brain washed by the media's perceptions of what you SHOULD want. "

Yes, young inexperienced people and those who are shallow rely on the mores of society to tell them what they want. Many out grow these shallow expectations with age and maturity.


Yes, other things besides astrology are influencing us and this is good. After all if you take the chart of a really awful person, say someone like Hitler or Charles Manson, and do some synastry or composites chart of these people with the charts of your friends or family, you'll likely get some really good combinations . But surely you would not wish that these friends of yours have an intimate relationship with Manson or Hitler. The message here is that people have to learn to identify people with emotional dysfunctions, NPD, etc. or just basic immaturity and selfishness in potential partners before you give your heart away and before you rely on astrology to make your decisions for you.

"Unfortunately for men, either you get women or you don't. Unfortunately for women, you will get men easily especially if you're attractive but you'll easily lose them for another attractive woman or someone more attractive."

Do you need "women" or just one good woman? Yes, the dating scene is very much a market place where we all are looking for the best we can get. Men are usually looking for beauty, personality, low- maintenance which often means 'she wants the same things I want and she is pliable."
Women often want alpha male types who they believe will give them status and financial comfort. Some of this is a natural expression of the animus/anima polarity, the yin vs yang. Some is as you say, the result of hyper-sexualization of the culture and other cultural changes.


Here's a quote I heard that contains some wisdom that both sexes eventually learn if they are not hopelessly shallow:




"Women learn to be attracted to the men they love, and men learn to love the women they are attracted to."



I never was attracted to the best looking or most powerful men. Women like me are out there. And men who are not promiscuous and genuinely loving are out there too.



As for astrology of compatibility, synastry is very telling but I tend to see the composite chart as a better indicator of the destiny or fate of the relationship and therefore its longevity. I have been doing composites for over 40 years and have done extensive research sampling composites and synastry chart of couples who have remained committed for decades. Composites need to be part of the analysis along with synastry.



And one cannot deny that the natal chart will indicate that some of us are destined to have a more difficult journey in our pursuit of fulfilling relationships. There does seem to be a higher rate of relationships sampling/turnover/divorce in recent decades, but that may not be a negative. As I have done my research, I have seen the astrological evidence that 50-60 years ago couples with mediocre or really bad astro compatibility stayed together and the really good examples are more rare in this populations. people just stayed together in mediocre relationships.



I recommend everyone with romantic relationship frustrations to read David Deida's work especially his Intimate Communion or The Way of the Superior Man.



Barb at thelivingsky.wordpress.com


I know this astrologer that rates how well you are likely to keep a relationship going? So someone that gets high points can keep a relationship going even if the synastry/compatible isn't that great.
 

Starsareround

Well-known member
I am 23. I am not spiritually advanced nor am I challenged. I just see these dynamics and I'm not scared to admit these dynamics. Because so many people are operating from a place of ignorence and self-serving biases aka the way we have been brainwashed to think/believe all our lives.

Yes people come together in all sorts of levels of maturity or time, but the question is does it work or last? Most relationships don't last and is tainted by other forces such as someone's perception of what a relationship should be like, or what someone's ideal is like.

Secondly, another thing most people don't realize. Let's say I have my venus/pluto/mars opposite my sun, and my venus/pluto/mars is in taurus. If have your asc in taurus, you have a smoking habit, is obese, your hair is pink, perhaps I will look at you but chances are, I won't date you.

That's the same case with if I don't have venus/mars/pluto in a particular sign, and a magnetic/well-taken care of gemini comes my way, I'll be more likely to give him a chance even though we are not that compatible and probably won't last given other things in our synastry doesn't work. But if the taurus was well taken care of, there's absolutely nothing stopping me from pursuing him.

That's synastry for you. However, if you have attraction/karmic/compulsion aspects without a connection with luminaries, that's in my opinion a deadly combination and chances are both or someone's going to end up being very hurt.

It's not about being shallow, it's about being realistic and equipping ourselves and those around us with practical solutions to problems that occur way more than people would like to admit. Most people don't want to see it or admit it because it hurts their sense of ego because chances are lots of people are in a category of people that can be vulnerable to getting hurt by the things I mentioned above.

Now what I mentioned above are situations that occur a lot but isn't always the case. But I'm sick of hearing the same stories over again from the mouths of women. I'm sick of seeing this robbery of someone's time, body, and emotions, and running away and saying "oh well, you're the crazy one for still being drawn to me." It's not okay. I'm also sick of girls luring in men and then boasting about how crazy men are for them as well. I'm sick of people fooling themselves and I'm sick of the divorce rate being so high. So no, I'm not sexist and I'm not a feminist at the very least.

It's not spirituality to fool one's self, enter a relationship with a man your intuition told you was wrong for you, and then go through a dark phase in life where you think everyone's a bad person and then come out of it thinking your pain transformed you. It's not foolish to be concerned a man is using you for sex because it's not the easiest to find it elsewhere and will be using your resources, and will eventually disrespect you, move on to a situation that suits them better.

You know what is spirituality? Forgiveness, Kindness, giving to the poor, being a good friend and daughter/son, grandson/granddaughther, helping your community, and learning. Spirituality is not choosing a woman for sex, marrying her, leaving her for her friend, breaking your 4 year old's daughter's heart. Spirituality is not turning goth/emo after a broken relationship.

Call me what you want, women these days are conditioned to expect less in relationships. They are conditioned not to question motives. Men are conditioned to get as much as they can and with the economy being ****, half of them will settle because they think they're incapable of reaching a good state financially.

I think you’ve hit on a solution that makes sense to me, anyway. Most men are raised to basically take what they want and not concern themselves with how that affects those around them. That’s an age old survival instinct that will not be eradicated any time soon. Women can in fact expect to be treated well and demand it, not through verbal battles but through action alone. If you are looking at male/female archetypes, women bringing some moral clarity and moral standards is imperative and drives men to be their best self. Women have a lot of unclaimed power in that dynamic 👑
 

Witchyone

Well-known member
What you're describing is the ugly truth about online dating and objectification culture. People operating at low frequencies have always been susceptible to the worst of human socialization, and this is just what that looks like now.

There is no love in what you describe, because you describe people viewing other people as a conglomeration of traits that can be fetishized. People who see themselves and other people as whole beings don't suffer from this. Make sure you see yourself as a whole and that you view others as wholes, then find other people who do too, and you'll be able to stop going around trumpeting this as "the truth."

As for your comment that 80% of women sleep with 20% of guys...where is your source? All the studies I've read show that both men and women are trying to date the same small percentage of people online. It's called "aspirational dating," and it's something people wouldn't have the nerve to do in a real life setting where rejection is more personal.
 

love-thinking

Well-known member
What you're describing is the ugly truth about online dating and objectification culture. People operating at low frequencies have always been susceptible to the worst of human socialization, and this is just what that looks like now.

There is no love in what you describe, because you describe people viewing other people as a conglomeration of traits that can be fetishized. People who see themselves and other people as whole beings don't suffer from this. Make sure you see yourself as a whole and that you view others as wholes, then find other people who do too, and you'll be able to stop going around trumpeting this as "the truth."

As for your comment that 80% of women sleep with 20% of guys...where is your source? All the studies I've read show that both men and women are trying to date the same small percentage of people online. It's called "aspirational dating," and it's something people wouldn't have the nerve to do in a real life setting where rejection is more personal.


https://therationalmale.com/tag/8020-rule/

I don't understand what in the forum made you think I don't view others as full individuals?

I'm not doing the objectification. I see others doing it. I'm just seeing when others let truths like this slide, they suffer greatly and there are great consequences. It's not my fault if and when I do trigger others. It's not my fault if I come off as shallow and unspiritual. This is the world we live in and when we acknowledge and learn to live around it, then only can we learn and grow.

https://medium.com/@worstonlinedate...ably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a
 

love-thinking

Well-known member
I think you’ve hit on a solution that makes sense to me, anyway. Most men are raised to basically take what they want and not concern themselves with how that affects those around them. That’s an age old survival instinct that will not be eradicated any time soon. Women can in fact expect to be treated well and demand it, not through verbal battles but through action alone. If you are looking at male/female archetypes, women bringing some moral clarity and moral standards is imperative and drives men to be their best self. Women have a lot of unclaimed power in that dynamic 👑


You are right. I agree women do.
 

Witchyone

Well-known member

That's just a blog with some guy's opinion, some guy who is on that red/blue pill BS. That's not proof.

Think about the people you know in your real life. How many of them lost their virginity to the exact same person? I'm betting not very many. None of my female friends slept with the same guys.

I don't understand what in the forum made you think I don't view others as full individuals?

I made an assumption, perhaps incorrect. When I was young and viewed my worth as being wrapped up in my looks, I was susceptible to this kind of thinking. I could stress for hours about a single body part. I dated men who made me jealous because they were always looking for another woman to admire and comparing women's looks. I outgrew it when I found real people to spend time with whose lives don't revolve around image and sexual conquest.

I'm not doing the objectification. I see others doing it. I'm just seeing when others let truths like this slide, they suffer greatly and there are great consequences. It's not my fault if and when I do trigger others. It's not my fault if I come off as shallow and unspiritual. This is the world we live in and when we acknowledge and learn to live around it, then only can we learn and grow.

https://medium.com/@worstonlinedate...ably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a


You didn't trigger me. I'm telling you that you're wrong because I know you're wrong. *shrugs* You might be shallow. The people you know might be. Not everyone is. One can choose to wait for someone who doesn't treat them as meat. You're only caught in this trap if you choose to participate or if you're locked into the ridiculous notion that you have to be having sex all the time to be a happy or worthwhile person.
 
Last edited:

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
No you're one hundred percent right. I feel like our current state of affairs/system is not working. I don't know what needs to be changed(perhaps more awareness) but I know something needs to be changed. Back in the day, there was a familial unit with each family having many kids. People were focused on bringing food to the table and raising every member of the family efficiently. You had to to at least be respectful to the brother/father of the family in order to get the girl. Now not saying this system is superior but at least people had some sort of system in which things could be controlled, and managed and everyone reminded the other of someone in their family so respect was almost always mandatory.

These days, (I am not conservative but I know I sound like one), the family unit is much smaller, more broken families, and sexualization is everywhere and when it comes to everything the bar is being set higher. People want to be richer, prettier, have the best brands, be smarter etc. We are made to believe that we have the freedom and entitlement to aim for the stars and that what we have is never enough or good enough.

I think this issue is not exclusive to men against girls only. It's just how our culture is. We treat everything as a commodity, and go through life thinking what we have is not good enough.

The sex-culture/**** culture has many fetishes and sub categories that cause male hormones to skyrocket every time they come to a situation even slightly close to it. A cute girl that looks submissive-boom. Girl that's well endowed-boom, 'exotic girl'-boom, petite girl you can throw around-boom, tall super model look-boom, your girlfriend's hot friend-boom because it's so taboo it's exciting. That's how men think, and when people think 'I'm his ideal, I'm good to him,' statistically speaking chances are he will never realize how beautiful you are inside, will continuously think and look at other women, and is probably dating you because you look good, and you're agreeable and every now and then provide him with something.

You provide him with material things, and all of a sudden he's so used to it, he takes you for granted because the human mind is so weak it usually never perceives something that's way better than them. You can be a queen, and he'll perceive you to only be a merchent, because he can't comprehend the fact that you're way too good for him. But he definitely wouldn't mind boasting about anything in regards to you to his friends.


It's not easier for men either and thus INCEL exists as I said earlier 20 percent of the men population are lucky enough to get lots of women.

But that's also another reason you need to realize most men are desperate. Most women are vulnerable and gullible and don't realize how desperate these men are. They think it's an equal exchange/courtship, but most of these men will want a temporary source of sex and call it dating because it's so scarce. Often times they'll make themselves believe that it is dating but do they really want any responsibility? They'll make their way through getting a source of every resource you have and call it love. Then move on to the next best thing/ or new thing that can provide them with the same thing.

You signed up for dating. They signed up for unlimited sex with a girl w/o STDs that's sweet and agreeable, and try to get away with gaining from you, and the more liberties you give them in regards to deviating from monogamy, the better.

And now predators or borderline paedophiles. There's already a subculture present of sugar daddies, women that love older men (some of which do have issues with their father), and there's more of a medium (online) these days than ever before for all of the above characters to go on the hunt. Some of them with wives that don't want to face the cold hard truth. Some of whose victims try and hard to just like their wives seem agreeable and less trouble. How many girls allow disgusting sexual acts done to them but will not have access to their partner's or even be allowed to be friends on social media all in the name of not being the stereotype of a jealous girlfriend. Where's responsibility? Where's giving back?


What do you see in the above examples? Men are ignorent and filled with self serving biases and women are ignorent and filled with self serving biases. Both in different ways but ignorent nonetheless. They both lie to themselves. Some are evolutionary dynamics bound to take place whether anyone likes it or not, and some are a consequence of where our culture is heading. Before it was alright to notice a woman's beauty and comment on it, now it's cool to comment on more than just the face.

Another issue is people don't realize how effective a heart break/destruction of innocence is. How it blackens someone's soul just like that. Two of the nicest individuals i know literally never dated in their life. Then they project their brokenness on other people and the cycle repeats and this time the kids will be heart broken before 10 because mommy or daddy left.

I know I sound super cynical but we are living in a world that allows soul loss and medicating this soul loss with empty material things. I don't have the answers to what to do about it.

And I know this sounds overly feminist and I didn't mean for it to sound this way and I know and acknowledge women are and can be just as bad and men have their own unique issues but this is just how things are and the quicker people can be honest about it the better.

Definetely there needs to be more awareness. I am closer than age to you than what seems like mature women commenting with advice. I am glad they are commenting but it's not the first time I have encountered adults who seem to think we already live in an enlightened world. Have they forgotten what the dating game is like, or have they reached a place in life where they have been comfortable for so long they have forgotten the darkness we live in? Plus these people are on an astrology forum, so will already be aware of energy to a certain degree because they are interested in something metaphysical already but take for example the memory of my head mistress at school, who would rage around trying to expel people who made her school look bad, and was known to be a terrible bully, in contrast to those couple of teacher's who were like angel's, with a ready and willing ear to listen to those troubled pupils. Or abusive parents, or any abusive adult really...Look at all the abuse still happening and the darkness in the world and how can anyone deduce what you are saying into a rant?

If this post is read by even one boy or girl and it helps to remind them of what darkness actually can exist, then to say what you have wrote is only a rant, is so wrong. Trumpet your truth, until you yourself decide to stop. Even if on your dying day you wish to 'rant' some more, rant away until your words turn into an orchestra of healing truth!:love:

I think it's ok to concentrate on things from a women's perspective, without fear of sounding sexist. Im sure you are not sexist just like I am not and concentrating on women's needs can be done without needing to explain ourselves.

This disgusting truth you talk about IS disgusting. There is a lot of disgusting energy around that people maybe just don't want to see. These people are maybe afraid of the darkness and choose to only surround themselves in light, but that does not mean it does not exist.
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
These same people who say the darkness has already been expelled, and are comfortable in the life they have created for themselves, how many would be able to defend themselves if the darkness took a form of an intruder trying to break into their home? Do they know self-defence to be able to protect themselves, have they learnt self-defence so they are able to protect those they love? These people are sitting ducks to a supposed darkness that no longer exists, that is the disgusting truth they are too comfortable to grasp.

I think Starsareround made a good point though, that on a very practical level, we can demand more power within our vicinity.
 
Top