My chart is the worst you will ever find

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ezechiel

Member
And i feel it in my life, i have a Grand Fixed Cross with 11 squares, this is insane i have so much energy and power but i'll probably never have any idea to where invest it, it makes me lazy and unwilling to change unless when something please me at 100%, i'm always like full ON or OFF never in the middle

I have big goals in my head but it doesn't make any sense with what this bad lottery gave me, i don't know if it's a curse or a karma, well thanks to read my post

Mathieu
 

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Harmelia

Harmelia

Well-known member
Dear Mathieu,
You almost have an official grand square, but not really. A lot of people have many squares. I myself have just as many as you do - and an almost grand square.
The biggest conflict you have is that your family defined you and either you resisted it - or you bought the belief system. Either way, you truly want to express who you are but feel there are forces that make that difficult.
You will need to assess your family belief system and what parts of it isn't really YOU - separate all that out - and develop you own set of beliefs about yourself and life. As you do this, you will find that the restrictions you feel will lessen. It will take some time.
You will need to learn how to be compassionate and understanding so you can forgive and forget and change. You may not be in touch with your feelings due to your family conditioning, so that might be part of what you need to do - to feel from the inside out.
When people are in touch with how they feel, they can act from a secure sense of who they are - and can succeed in their goals.
I have no doubt that you have big ideas, that you are creative, expressive, and you even have natural skills at analyzing things if you aren't doing negative Virgo - and spend too much time critisizing self or others.
If you are doing negative Scorpio, you could be wallowing too much in negative emotions and feeling fearful about who you are and your self-concept (2nd house). Try to use Scorpio to understand your own psychology. Scorpio is very good at that. You need a sense of privacy and safety around being who you are. That's fine. Nothing wrong with that.
You are fine. You are young yet. These next few years are really about waking up to your conditioning - understanding it - and figuring out who you truly are. Play with your big ideas while you're at it - make notes and know that eventually, the time might be right to GO FOR IT - to bring about some of these ideas. Timing is important. That's all for now.
 
E

ezechiel

Member
Harmelia said:
Dear Mathieu,
You almost have an official grand square, but not really. A lot of people have many squares. I myself have just as many as you do - and an almost grand square.
The biggest conflict you have is that your family defined you and either you resisted it - or you bought the belief system. Either way, you truly want to express who you are but feel there are forces that make that difficult.
You will need to assess your family belief system and what parts of it isn't really YOU - separate all that out - and develop you own set of beliefs about yourself and life. As you do this, you will find that the restrictions you feel will lessen. It will take some time.
You will need to learn how to be compassionate and understanding so you can forgive and forget and change. You may not be in touch with your feelings due to your family conditioning, so that might be part of what you need to do - to feel from the inside out.
When people are in touch with how they feel, they can act from a secure sense of who they are - and can succeed in their goals.
I have no doubt that you have big ideas, that you are creative, expressive, and you even have natural skills at analyzing things if you aren't doing negative Virgo - and spend too much time critisizing self or others.
If you are doing negative Scorpio, you could be wallowing too much in negative emotions and feeling fearful about who you are and your self-concept (2nd house). Try to use Scorpio to understand your own psychology. Scorpio is very good at that. You need a sense of privacy and safety around being who you are. That's fine. Nothing wrong with that.
You are fine. You are young yet. These next few years are really about waking up to your conditioning - understanding it - and figuring out who you truly are. Play with your big ideas while you're at it - make notes and know that eventually, the time might be right to GO FOR IT - to bring about some of these ideas. Timing is important. That's all for now.
Click to expand...



Thanks for your analyze, i think i'm too stubborn and fixed to change though, it's over
 
K

kshantaram

Premium Member
Mars own scorpio first, growth-riches through
research-occult-forensic-metallurgical aptitudes;

sat-mars opp stress-struggle, health stressed,
entrepreneurial-mech aptitudes;
jup aspect mars good for project work;


Asc lord venus debilated virgo 11th for gains
through art-health care-editorial roles-women-jewellery etc;
self-centred in relationships;
kidney-intestinal issues;
wear 0.25 carat diamond over platinum pendant touching heart;

venus elevated aspect pisces 5th,
supportive of luck-edu-romance-children-position;

jup lord 5th with sat over taurus 8th, aptitude for
economics/economic research, dentistry, nutrition, etc;


leo-sun inimical-malefic for libra asc,
stress-delays in income-gains-friendships;

inimical sun over cancer 10th, stress-delays in
gains from career n recognition and from govt-corporates;
heart-lung-knee issues;
rahu now transit sun cancer clouding things n health; toxic issues;


moon-mer-rahu NNode inimical leo 10th, wanting to soar in career;
international govt affairs, communications, anesthetics, etc;
toxic heatlh issues - heart-stomach-knees-lungs-skin etc;

rise-fall in life, mer lord 9th for luck-edu-travels under stress-delays;
moon lord 10th for career under stress-delays;

prayers for ancestors, observe fast No-moon evenings;
observe death anniversaries religiously;
wear brown hessonite over pendant touching heart;


ketu separative SNode acq 4th, reformist-innovative;
detachment from mother-motherland-property;

Sat-ketu now 1.5yr transit cap 4th opp sun,
home-career-health-parental relationships under great stress;
prayers to Christ, offer red flowers at alter at home sat mornings;


jup now transit own sag 3rd for advisory roles these days;
trine moon-mer-rahu leo 10th for rise in career/foreign assignments etc;


hope offers clues to pick as relevant and integrate,
share salient feedbacks how true-insightful,
traits-talents-health-life trends-remedies-ideas to pick etc etc

wishing well with jupiter transit,


kshantaram

ps : read earlier?
 
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E

ezechiel

Member
kshantaram said:
Mars own scorpio first, growth-riches through
research-occult-forensic-metallurgical aptitudes;

sat-mars opp stress-struggle, health stressed,
entrepreneurial-mech aptitudes;
jup aspect mars good for project work;


Asc lord venus debilated virgo 11th for gains
through art-health care-editorial roles-women-jewellery etc;
self-centred in relationships;
kidney-intestinal issues;
wear 0.25 carat diamond over platinum pendant touching heart;

venus elevated aspect pisces 5th,
supportive of luck-edu-romance-children-position;

jup lord 5th with sat over taurus 8th, aptitude for
economics/economic research, dentistry, nutrition, etc;


leo-sun inimical-malefic for libra asc,
stress-delays in income-gains-friendships;

inimical sun over cancer 10th, stress-delays in
gains from career n recognition and from govt-corporates;
heart-lung-knee issues;
rahu now transit sun cancer clouding things n health; toxic issues;


moon-mer-rahu NNode inimical leo 10th, wanting to soar in career;
international govt affairs, communications, anesthetics, etc;
toxic heatlh issues - heart-stomach-knees-lungs-skin etc;

rise-fall in life, mer lord 9th for luck-edu-travels under stress-delays;
moon lord 10th for career under stress-delays;

prayers for ancestors, observe fast No-moon evenings;
observe death anniversaries religiously;
wear brown hessonite over pendant touching heart;


ketu separative SNode acq 4th, reformist-innovative;
detachment from mother-motherland-property;

Sat-ketu now 1.5yr transit cap 4th opp sun,
home-career-health-parental relationships under great stress;
prayers to Christ, offer red flowers at alter at home sat mornings;


jup now transit own sag 3rd for advisory roles these days;
trine moon-mer-rahu leo 10th for rise in career/foreign assignments etc;


hope offers clues to pick as relevant and integrate,
share salient feedbacks how true-insightful,
traits-talents-health-life trends-remedies-ideas to pick etc etc

wishing well with jupiter transit,


kshantaram

ps : read earlier?
Click to expand...

Thanks a lot, i'm gonna slowly read this and absorb every information for the short time i have to live here
 
D

david starling

Well-known member
ezechiel said:
There won't be 60 more years because i will commit suicide in few months, i'm gonna break free from this cage
Click to expand...

You'll feel better when Saturn leaves Capricorn and goes into Aquarius. Saturn's WAY too strong in Capricorn. It's affecting everyone, but you especially. It goes into Aqua on Mar 21, 2020. Stays in until June, then retros back into Cap until it re-enters and stays in Aqua on Dec 17th. The one really good placement in your Chart is Jupiter in Taurus. See if you can tune into that.
 
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T

Tenofcups

Member
ezechiel said:
There won't be 60 more years because i will commit suicide in few months, i'm gonna break free from this cage
Click to expand...

I was called to this post.

My mother left her body in 98

I’ll post the chart at that time.

I understand the cage analogy. Can you stay on this site and glean from it the affirmations that will come in for you that your life although arduous and heavy laden can be something else..

What that else is I don’t know but I can give you an intuitive read and get your awareness around the inside out work that helps dismantle all these tapes we have running in our miserable bodies.

Lots of love your way

Keep in touch ♒️♒️♒️♒️
 
K

kshantaram

Premium Member
Appreciate the brief ack ready to study the information,
do take your time n share your reflections!

how insightful-helpful, traits-talents-ideas-remedies etc


wishing well, kshantaram
 
wilsontc

wilsontc

Staff member
Please get help outside the AW Forum

ezechiel ,

This is NOT a suicide counseling station, it does not pretend to be, it does not have the right people, it is not staffed appropriately, it simply doesn't have the ability to give you the help you need. For that reason, the sooner you look AWAY from this forum, the sooner you can look for help in an area where people are going to give you the help you need.

But it CAN point you in the right direction. Our Forum members suggest going to these sites:
http://www.suicideprevention.ca/in-crisis-now/thinking-about-suicide/
http://www.cmha.ca/mental-health/find-help/emotional-wellness/
http://www.suicideforum.com/
http://www.takethislife.com/suicide-forums/
http://d2lrevolution.com/no-suicide-zone/?gclid=CJbqx42XprwCFWLHtAodQx4AKw

In accordance with Forum rules, I'm locking this thread down against further postings.

Locking down,

Tim
 
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