ARENT SENSITIVE **
My Aries bf has been upset with me this week; his complaint is I come off as a parent , or life coach. I recently told him keeping a clean environment benefits mental health ( I am more organized than him, he cleans but not as consistent as Me) and explained how I don’t like things being messy for too long in a blunt honest way
He said he we wants to know he’s going to marry a supportive girlfriend and doesn’t want to feel like he’s marrying a parent or life coach. He’s and that he’s happy his kids will have me as a mom because of how caring and nurturing I am.
I know I’m brutally honest, and usually don’t hold back I never expressed him especially him being an Aries to take it too hard.
He doesn’t come off like an usual Aries which I always wondered why it’s like his fire is missing sometimes, it comes out when he’s mad about something.
Do we have aspects that prove I’m hard on him ? Or can be ?
I am married to an Aries and our firstborn is an Aries. I will testify that Aries can be very sensitive. They are kind of thin skinned. Mostly, they don't like to be told what to do.
They are very headstrong and independent. They are happy to work and do chores but not when being ordered to do so. It really depends upon how they are asked.
My husband will often ask what he can do to help if we are really busy and have a lot to do. But I have to express it in a positive way.
If I say ' oh, thanks hon for asking, I am really swamped. I think the biggest thing right now would be if you could clean up the kitchen a bit before people arrive...' He would gladly do so if directed nicely.
But if I say it heatedly and make it seem like I am blaming him or being bossy, he kind of shuts down. He hates feeling controlled by others.
I am a Scorpio with a Cap Moon, so I admit I can come off as controlling.
And your bf has a Moon/Mars square in his natal. So he may have experienced a controlling and critical mother figure as a child.
When you correct him or 'educate' him, he feels like that bullied child.
So you might need to really work hard not to fit into that narrative from his past. You can still help him work on being neater.
But keep in mind----that is YOUR preference. You said:
"I recently told him keeping a clean environment benefits mental health ( I am more organized than him, he cleans but not as consistent as Me) and explained how I don’t like things being messy for too long "
You are the one whose mental health needs things not to be messy. That is not necessarily something an Aries/Sag is overly concerned about.
His messiness may come about because he is spontaneous and creative and busy.
With Moon square his Mars in Virgo, organization may not be his thing or his priority. He likes to be impulsive and free to go about his business and try to get things done, sometimes by the seat of his pants. At the end of a busy day, he would like you to notice how much he has gotten done and how creative he was---and not necessarily notice that all the tools are on the kitchen counters and the bills he just paid are spread all over the couch.
Your Aries Moon hovers near his Saturn in Aries. Saturn is where he feels insecure and inadequate. Your Moon might be impatient in the same areas he is insecure.
He may worry that he is inadequate and worries if he is able to handle all his responsibilities and support a family, etc. Your Moon there helps inspire him and make him want to be able to do so. But when you criticise him, he begins to doubt himself.
As you say---you are 'brutally honest.' And your Mercury squares your Moon and his Saturn. So your 'brutal' honesty may feel brutal in his eyes at times. He might miss the message but he does get the brutality and anger behind the message that you may not realise is there?
Also, your Sun in Cap squares his Mercury in Aries. So your 'personality' and your power[Sun] is in conflict with his self expression.[Mercury]. That can feel annoying for both of you.
I think he felt a lot of doubt from others when he was young. He doesn't want to feel that in this relationship now.
Honesty does not need to be brutal or blunt. It may be that you are expressing your own frustration about this relationship and he is picking up on it. If you do feel like he is a child and you are not sure he is mature enough or accomplished enough to be your life partner , better to figure it out now and move on...