Sexual Attraction in Synastry

misskitty

Well-known member
I know, I know! I'm one of the biggest proponents of NOT asking questions about sex in astrology because the questions could be considered trivial. But please hear me out...

I reconnected with an old boyfriend of mine via email about a month ago. We dated when we were really young, I was 17, he was 21. He moved with his family to another state after we only dated for a couple of months, so we really didn't get very far in our relationship.

20 YEARS later, we've reconnected. We've seemed to pick up where we left off and have spent countless hours on the phone with each other, emailing, writing letters. He is coming to visit me in a couple of weeks.

My worry, and something that is actually keeping me up at night, is whether or not we will be attracted to each other after all these years. Let's face it, neither of us looks 17 or 21 anymore!! Will the spark still be there?? The emotional component of our relationship was and IS still amazing. But attraction? I surely hope so. My solar return hints at a big relationship this year (venus/mars/sun on my descendant), and I just wonder if this might be it.

My instinct says to look at Venus and Mars in the synastry chart. My Venus is in an exact trine to his Mars. That makes me feel better. However, my Venus opposes his Venus. I know the theory in astrology about opposites attracting (and our Suns are in opposition by sign), but does that hold up between Venus too?

His Saturn is right on my Venus, which would either put a damper on it OR it could be lending stability to the relationship. Maybe both?

I like the trine between my Venus and his Pluto as well, although that could point to an obsessive quality to the attraction.

My Moon trines his Sun and his Descendant falls in my 7th house, I think that is good.

Can someone help me with this? I'm afraid I don't have a ton of experience with synastry, but I feel it is more appropriate to answer this question with this method rather than Horary.
 

Attachments

  • synastry.png
    synastry.png
    185.2 KB · Views: 77
Last edited:

misskitty

Well-known member
I was just reading this on Cafe Astrology:

When someone's 8th house planet or ruler of their 8th house forms a strong aspect with one or more of your planets, you are likely to ignite passion in that person.

The ruler of my 8th is Saturn, and the ruler of his is Jupiter. There are lots of strong aspects involving both these planets in the synastry. Hopefully this is a good sign :love:

And also this on the same page:

The asteroid Eros plays a role in sexual attraction as well. Most potent are Eros-Venus, Eros-Ascendant, Eros-Psyche, and Eros-Mars links. Conjunctions, oppositions, and trines are best.

My Eros falls at 20 Leo, which is EXACTLY conjunct his Ascendant. His Eros is in opposition to my Saturn, ruler of my 8th house and his Eros is RULED by Saturn. This is starting to look better..........
 
Last edited:

astrology02

Well-known member
:O you guys have north node conjunct mars!! ( i know the orb is wide) but this...this aspect for me was the most powerful sexual relationship i ever had with someone...even though other things may fade...the sex never does with this aspect...I had this aspect with my ex and as much as we fought....we both agreed that the physical passion was still there between us. Mars is the planet of sex, conjunct a karmic point such as the north node so definitely binding...trust me on that.

Also venus conjunct saturn could mean a long lasting relationship...maybe you guys just took a break for awhile.

+ mars in the 7th in synastry = attraction
 
Last edited:

waybread

Well-known member
Venus-Mars inter-aspects are a strong indication of attraction. His Venus/her Mars; his Mars/her Venus. Since the ascendant indicates the physical body, also look to aspects to it.

I think you are wise not to expect too much from a man who is now essentially a stranger.

If you want the relationship to last, it's always best to be a good friend to the other person. For these, look to your paired suns, paired moons, and their inter-aspects.
 

misskitty

Well-known member
Thank you so much for pointing that out astrology02! I hadn't even thought of NN/Mars aspect yet but you are right, very significant even with a wider orb.

waybread-- I agree! I have been burned by long-distance relationships before, so I am naturally wary and trying to keep my feet on the ground, while still hoping this is as good as it seems. I have to use a wide orb to show the contacts between our Suns, but that Sun/Moon trine that we have without widening the orbs sure is helpful. I imagine it is one of the reasons we are so emotionally compatible.

Thanks so much guys. I was attracted to him once, and I plan to report back after we meet in a few weeks to report if that is still there. :)
 

Claire19

Well-known member
The ascendants play a big part in it all and you can do a progressed composite for the two of you and look at that. He will be older too and after all you are not even middle aged and may be more attractive to each other. Only one way to find out and that is to physically meet.

Good luck.

:love:
 

claire1

Banned
Kitty wrote
His Saturn is right on my Venus, which would either put a damper on it OR it could be lending stability to the relationship. Maybe both?

-----Could mean long-term, lasting attraction. Also, he not only "lends" stability to your Venus, but he "experiences" for himself the stability in regard to your Venus qualities. Just as you would feel attracted to his stability/other Saturn qualities, and you would "lend" the qualities of affection and harmony to his Saturn stability and limit-setting. Your planet is felt by you and by him, and his planet is felt by him and by you in any aspect

Claire
 
K

Katydidit

Personally, I believe that both DNA and old-soul karma are as much involved as current astrological aspects.

When it comes to that chemistry issue, might it come down to how much your old soul wants to pay honor his body, his physical self?
 

misskitty

Well-known member
And your Pluto on his Sun/Uranus:innocent:

HA!! I was tempted to use Pluto in that way but wasn't sure if that was correct!

Thank you all for your responses. I really hope you're right, because the emotional and mental chemistry has been so great. It feels wonderful to connect to someone like this again after such a long period of heartbreak and a dating drought. I feel HOPE once again. :love:

I promise to report back after we meet up in a couple of weeks.
 

Claire19

Well-known member
I know, I know! I'm one of the biggest proponents of NOT asking questions about sex in astrology because the questions could be considered trivial. But please hear me out...

I reconnected with an old boyfriend of mine via email about a month ago. We dated when we were really young, I was 17, he was 21. He moved with his family to another state after we only dated for a couple of months, so we really didn't get very far in our relationship.

20 YEARS later, we've reconnected. We've seemed to pick up where we left off and have spent countless hours on the phone with each other, emailing, writing letters. He is coming to visit me in a couple of weeks.

My worry, and something that is actually keeping me up at night, is whether or not we will be attracted to each other after all these years. Let's face it, neither of us looks 17 or 21 anymore!! Will the spark still be there?? The emotional component of our relationship was and IS still amazing. But attraction? I surely hope so. My solar return hints at a big relationship this year (venus/mars/sun on my descendant), and I just wonder if this might be it.

My instinct says to look at Venus and Mars in the synastry chart. My Venus is in an exact trine to his Mars. That makes me feel better. However, my Venus opposes his Venus. I know the theory in astrology about opposites attracting (and our Suns are in opposition by sign), but does that hold up between Venus too?

His Saturn is right on my Venus, which would either put a damper on it OR it could be lending stability to the relationship. Maybe both?

I like the trine between my Venus and his Pluto as well, although that could point to an obsessive quality to the attraction.

My Moon trines his Sun and his Descendant falls in my 7th house, I think that is good.

Can someone help me with this? I'm afraid I don't have a ton of experience with synastry, but I feel it is more appropriate to answer this question with this method rather than Horary.
synastry can be confusing and contradictory and a composite chart is best.
Saturn on Venus is karmic and can lead to a long lasting connection and sometimes one is older than the other but it can be a restrictive influence also in that it forces you to be realistic and mature. IT depends on other aspects coming to affect that conjunction. I don't use Pluto but the other aspects you quote are favourable. The descendant is the same as 7th house and does that mean his ascendant is the same as yours?? Look at the north nodes also.

However we can speculate on chart connections ad nauseum but they do not guarantee anything. THey just show what is going on.,
 

misskitty

Well-known member
Just wanted to post an update! I did meet up with this guy last week when we were both visiting our families in our hometown. We spent the better part of 3 days together, and we got along beautifully!! I am also very happy to report that the sexual attraction is very much still there. We seem to connect on all levels... mental, emotional, physical. We are both already talking about relocating to our hometown to be near each other again. We'd both already been thinking individually about that for some time because we miss our families, and being near each other so that we can DATE as opposed to having a long distance relationship is that much more incentive. Thanks so much for your readings! They were correct and it put my mind at ease until we were able to actually see each other again.
 
Last edited:
Top