how do you predict death?

Moog

Well-known member
Why people are so obsessed about predicting death? Spending all these time to predict but forgot how live a life happily?

An interest in predicting death does not necessarily mean that one cannot also live a happy life. It might even help. Buddhist practices are full of meditations on death, and in my experience they lead to a greater awareness that life is precious and to be used well.

You could argue that any of us could be 'living a happy life' rather than bothering with astrology to learn anything. Why not go to a monster truck rally or something life affirming and fun like that instead.
 

poyi

Premium Member
An interest in predicting death does not necessarily mean that one cannot also live a happy life. It might even help. Buddhist practices are full of meditations on death, and in my experience they lead to a greater awareness that life is precious and to be used well.

You could argue that any of us could be 'living a happy life' rather than bothering with astrology to learn anything. Why not go to a monster truck rally or something life affirming and fun like that instead.


I feel strongly about this topic because I saw my sister's son will have his Pluto opposite Sun perfected at his age of 5. Pluto is in his 4th house and Sun in his 10th house. Pluto is the focus point of a combination of square of Saturn in 1st and Jupiter and Uranus in 7th house. Saturn opposite Uranus will be perfected at the age of 2 years and 3 months. Saturn also opposite to Jupiter. Sigh...there are too many to mention and my sister's chart show similar suggestion. She has natal Libra Pluto in 3rd Sesquisquare Sun and inconjunct Jupiter both in 10th house. Transit Rahu/north node will conjunct her Pluto, sign of activation. Natal Rahu in 4th, this life obsession of family, Ketu/south node in 10th conjunct Jupiter and Venus. Venus conjunct Sun. Transit Pluto in my sister's 6th house...can say that as her husband's 12th house.
My point is this young boy will go through major change regarding to his family and this change will affect him for the rest of his life in many areas. See things like this is Painful....

I know if you have the ability to predict death is good in a way to achieve some form of enlightenment. But the price of knowing is not little....I can't confirm that it will be an early of his father; all I know is that you can never miss a major "Change" from Pluto.....

My natal Pluto at 0 Scorpio 11 and Sun 17 Scorpio 46. The distance between the 2 planets is approximate 17. Saturn conjunct both Pluto and Sun. At the age of 17, I had tried to commit suicide once. It was one of my lowest points in life.

I read my sister and her son's Chinese horoscope, CLEAR indications that her son will have more than 1 father and my sister will have more than 1 husband. With all these combined, I have been worrying for a long time. From a personal experience, even it is not confirmed but the suffering of knowing the possibility is here with me Right Now. Me and my sister gone through a lot because of our abusive parents. I have Mercury in 3rd house plus being in a Stellium, my sibling is very important to me. All I can tell her that is to treasure the time as a family right now with your husband and son. I can't be sure what will happen, it could be any other form of separation not necessarily death. But I know Pluto never miss, it will bring dramatic change to their household. At the moment, they are having happy family life. In that case, this change will only mean down hill....By his 2 years and 3 months old, there will be signs showing the actual outcome. My teacher only told me to observe his 2 years and 3 months old that is the time Saturn opposition with Uranus become perfected.

One of the temptations is, once you know how to predict death, you will predict the death of your family and love one of course including your own. Sometime, it is better not to know how to predict. On the other side, if you can endure this pain then go ahead to predict all deaths. You can use it to make sure you do and say all you needed before that person's death. But not everyone can use this knowledge wisely. Death tells us about our limitation. If you already know your limitations and weaknesses as a human being, you don't need to know the time of death to do the right things. My point is: Go to love the people that you suppose to love Right Now. It is not necessary to know time of death to reach enlightenment.

Anyway, everyone is different. You don't need to accept my opinion and suggestion. :)
 
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dr. farr

Well-known member
As I have stated before, the only value to knowing or approximating a critical time, is so that something CAN BE DONE about it, during that critical period of time; otherwise it is just idle and vain curiousity.....
 

poyi

Premium Member
As I have stated before, the only value to knowing or approximating a critical time, is so that something CAN BE DONE about it, during that critical period of time; otherwise it is just idle and vain curiousity.....

I know...we all have curiosity. :pinched: I am also a member of this Club.
 

Moog

Well-known member
poyi said:
I feel strongly about this topic because I saw my sister's son will have his Pluto opposite Sun perfected at his age of 5. Pluto is in his 4th house and Sun in his 10th house. Pluto is the focus point of a combination of square of Saturn in 1st and Jupiter and Uranus in 7th house. Saturn opposite Uranus will be perfected at the age of 2 years and 3 months. Saturn also opposite to Jupiter. Sigh...there are too many to mention and my sister's chart show similar suggestion. She has natal Libra Pluto in 3rd Sesquisquare Sun and inconjunct Jupiter both in 10th house. Transit Rahu/north node will conjunct her Pluto, sign of activation. Natal Rahu in 4th, this life obsession of family, Ketu/south node in 10th conjunct Jupiter and Venus. Venus conjunct Sun. Transit Pluto in my sister's 6th house...can say that as her husband's 12th house.
My point is this young boy will go through major change regarding to his family and this change will affect him for the rest of his life in many areas. See things like this is Painful....

I'm sorry you had a tough time, I've had them too, and those experiences have shaped what I am now.

There is a lot of pain and suffering in most lives, whether we use astrology to map it and predict it, or not. I am prone to worrying about my family, my planet, myself.

Pluto would be doing what it does whether you had knowledge of it or not.

Suffering arising is opportunity to develop wisdom in how we deal with it. How do we deal with pain, fear, worry, anguish, loss and other forms of suffering?

Personally, I turn to the Buddhia first in these matters, not astrology.

One of the temptations is, once you know how to predict death, you will predict the death of your family and love one of course including your own. Sometime, it is better not to know how to predict. On the other side, if you can endure this pain then go ahead to predict all deaths. You can use it to make sure you do and say all you needed before that person's death. But not everyone can use this knowledge wisely.
It sounds like you don't feel ready to cope with these things, but maybe you will feel differently one day. And that's fine, personal choice is a wonderful thing, and it would be wrong to remove that.

It seems to me that great swathes of people are not using any knowledge wisely... But I'm not the wisdom police or anything. :rightful: Do you have a permit for using that knowledge?

If you already know your limitations and weaknesses as a human being, you don't need to know the time of death to do the right things.
I have found astrology to be very useful for outlining my personal strengths and weaknesses in a way that has proved to be elusive to my pure reasoning and intuitive faculties unaided.

If you don't need astrology to get the most out of life, then why bother. No one needs it. I don't need meditation to exist, but it helps. If astrology adds nothing to your life, then I agree, just get on with living. I'm sure that people can live meaningful and satisfying lives without it.
 
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poyi

Premium Member
I'm sorry you had a tough time, I've had them too, and those experiences have shaped what I am now.

There is a lot of pain and suffering in most lives, whether we use astrology to map it and predict it, or not. I am prone to worrying about my family, my planet, myself.

Pluto would be doing what it does whether you had knowledge of it or not.

Suffering arising is opportunity to develop wisdom in how we deal with it. How do we deal with pain, fear, worry, anguish, loss and other forms of suffering?

Personally, I turn to the Buddhia first in these matters, not astrology.

It sounds like you don't feel ready to cope with these things, but maybe you will feel differently one day. And that's fine, personal choice is a wonderful thing, and it would be wrong to remove that.

It seems to me that great swathes of people are not using any knowledge wisely... But I'm not the wisdom police or anything. :rightful: Do you have a permit for using that knowledge?

I have found astrology to be very useful for outlining my personal strengths and weaknesses in a way that has proved to be elusive to my pure reasoning and intuitive faculties unaided.

If you don't need astrology to get the most out of life, then why bother. No one needs it. I don't need meditation to exist, but it helps. If astrology adds nothing to your life, then I agree, just get on with living. I'm sure that people can live meaningful and satisfying lives without it.

Astrology and same as many occults had help me through a lot of things. Through studying all these, I came to the understanding that my abusive parents were only being who they are. Their maps were predestined. So as mine, I was born to be in that family. These are predestined facts.

You are right, astrology had help people in many different ways. That is why I say : Peace is knowing you and I are only Human.

We have no choice but accepting of who we are, can try to work out how to become a better person; but then even this path of becoming a better person is predestined. I should say, our soul/spirit has it own form which is already being shaped before birth or at time of birth.

We really have little control of our own life. When it happens, we can choose to view it differently but it Will happen anyway. I myself is learning how to accept death and by experiencing illnesses and deaths with my patients/their family had helped me a lot.

My pain here is not that I can't accept death. I suffer because of seeing my sister is still trying to learn. And her son is only less than 2 years old.

Pluto also brings dramatic transformation. I told my sister, "Doesn't matter what happen all these are predestined. If it is your son' fate to be born in this family, if he needed to go through the lost of a father or trauma of any kind in his early childhood, then all these are necessary to form his personality as a human being which is already written in his chart. Who are we to alter death or challenge our own destiny?"

I told my sister, because of our parents and our childhood, we became the person we are now. All these are necessary. If I didn't have those experiences, I will not be able to share this insight to you also. What happened in the past will always bring impacts (both negative and positive) in the future, such as now.

I know Pain can build and break a person. I know that personally and so does everyone. Astrology is a tool to link fragments of the memories to form a meaningful story.

In Chinese and Indian culture, predicting a person's death will bring unfortunate to the reader. It is a taboo, traditionally should be best to avoid. Because some time, people would try to escape or avoid death as soon as they found out...which is against his/her own destiny and purpose of this life; therefore is a Karma to read for others. Very rarely people would come to full acceptance, of course everyone is different.

I noticed those possibilities in my sister's son chart because they are very obvious and significant. At that time, I was simply studying Approaching and Separating aspects of the planets in his chart...because of curiosity, I went on confirming that against my sister's chart with transit....I wish I didn't dig deeper. Now, me and my sister will have to wait until the event confirm itself in another 3 years time. I would say, this waiting part is our Current Karma.
 

JUPITERASC

Well-known member
Sigh.I feel strongly about this topic because I saw my sister's son will have his Pluto opposite Sun perfected at his age of 5.... Sigh.. My natal Pluto at 0 Scorpio 11 and Sun 17 Scorpio 46. The distance between the 2 planets is approximate 17. Saturn conjunct both Pluto and Sun. At the age of 17, I had tried to commit suicide once. It was one of my lowest points in life. I read my sister and her son's Chinese horoscope, CLEAR indications that her son will have more than 1 father and my sister will have more than 1 husband. With all these combined, I have been worrying for a long time.... At the moment, they are having happy family life. In that case, this change will only mean down hill....By his 2 years and 3 months old, there will be signs showing the actual outcome. My teacher only told me to observe his 2 years and 3 months old that is the time Saturn opposition with Uranus become perfected.
Let's put these matters in perspective poyi :smile:

Remove the Sun from our solar system and it would no longer BE a solar system... The definition 'solar system' reflects clearly the major importance of our Sun around which life on earth LITERALLY revolves. The Sun having gone, permanent extreme cold would make life on this planet impossible for the vast majority of species, including human beings. The Sun would no longer exert control on tidal ebb and flow (the Sun currently has some influence, as does the Moon).

The Moon, unable to reflect light from the now vanished Sun, would be invisible. Earth, along with Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn would have no object to orbit (of course, neither would the outer planets). The resulting 'chaos' may be imagined. IMO therefore, the central VITAL importance of the influence of the Sun is more than obvious BUT the same cannot be said for the distant planetoid aka dwarf star Pluto! Furthermore, regarding criticism of these traditional techniques currently under discussion on this thread, IMO it is time to draw attention to the frequently horrendously dire delineations made in relation to Pluto transits to natal charts.

Just two weeks ago, very worried mom fotto asked: “Worried about my child's Sun Square Pluto – Is She Doomed?” and here are the comments she posted
Hello all, I have recently been to an astrologer and had my daughter's chart interpreted. She said pretty worrying things about her childhood. She is currently 2.5 years old and is a very warm, happy and social child who gets along with everyone. However according to her chart (Pluto and Saturn effects mainly as I've been told) she is supposed to be a very emotionally-reserved child, feeling constantly criticized, going through a really hard-time starting from school age and these will be all because of her father who will make her feel that way. My husband is a caring and involved father, also affectionate meaning does not have problems showing his love. He does have minor issues like everyone else but nothing described as being cold and unloving. I really do not understand.

I have been losing sleep over this and on top of this today I found out that my other child which is due this October (i am pregnant) also has this Sun Square Pluto aspect! :(

Are these aspects a doom on my children ? :(

I would really appreciate if you could take a look at the chart and give some insights. It will really be very appreciated. Thanks in advance for your time. awfully worried mom

to which Carris very sensibly responded with the following comment
No, please don't believe that. I also have the same sun square pluto with a pretty wide 4* orb - there was some willfulness with authority - but I guess most of us went through that in our teenage years. So please don't worry about it. I get along perfectly well with both my parents.

And saturn sun conjunct only means that the person does not like show leadership or authority. That is all. Since there is a stellium of 4 planets in the 5th house this means that your daughter is very priented towards creativity, play, recreation, children etc. And with uranus's aspect she is likely to be very brilliant at it.

Sun mercury gives a very talkative intelligent person and the aspect from uranus is likely to make her very brilliant, a genius, unconventional, radical.
and I also responded with my 2 cents worth as follows
Dear awfully worried mom – it may ease your mind fotto that not all astrologers agree on the influence of Pluto and that the debate on Pluto is not set in stone! :smile:

The outer planets IMO are generational rather than personal - but remember that is only my opinion and my opinion only! Some agree with me and others disagree with me! Astrologer do not always agree!
It is a good idea to consult several different astrologers and read more on the subject - and do not condemn your children and yourself to a lifetime of stress just because one astrologer has given you a worrying delineation of your child's chart based on a Pluto aspect!

Interestingly Pluto
is now a dwarf planet. There are more than forty dwarf planets. A clear majority voted for the new definition at a meeting of the International Astronomical Union (IAU) in Prague, in the Czech Republic. The IAU decides the official names of all celestial bodies. The term “planet” previously had no official meaning.

"According to the new definition, a full-fledged planet is an object that orbits the sun and is large enough to have become round due to the force of its own gravity. In addition, a planet has to dominate the neighborhood around its orbit
Pluto has been demoted because it does not dominate its neighborhood. Pluto's large "moon," is only about half the size of Pluto BUT all the true planets are far larger than their moons.
In addition, bodies that dominate their neighborhoods, "sweep up" asteroids, comets, and other debris, clearing a path along their orbits. By contrast, Pluto's orbit is somewhat untidy."

Source: National Geographic http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/08/060824-pluto-planet.html

reassured mom fotto concluded
Thank you so much for your replies. It really put my mind at ease, interpretation is really important like you say.
dr. farr frequently advises us as follows
As I have stated before, the only value to knowing or approximating a critical time, is so that something CAN BE DONE about it, during that critical period of time; otherwise it is just idle and vain curiousity.....
 
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poyi

Premium Member
To Jupiter

What I am worried about is based on the fact that my friend saw a transit Pluto approaching to the perfect conjunction toward his own natal moon and that was the day of his mother death. That happened many years ago.

Personally, as I said I was committed suicide once at 17 years of age when I look back that year of transit Pluto was conjunct with my IC 4th house and ketu/south node, I attempted suicide at home. On the natal chart, distance between Sun and Pluto was 17 degrees.

My sister's son his Pluto/Sun opposition will be perfected at the age of 5 years old. His Pluto is located at 4th house. My own sister, her Sun at 10th house, Sun Sesquisquare by Pluto from 3rd house, my sister suffered long term emotional and physical abused by our father. In my chart is Sun conjunct Saturn, Pluto semisequre Jupiter in 4th house. Sun and Jupiter in 4th can both represent father. My sister's husband love his son very much. They are indeed a very happy family. But no doubt when Pluto/Sun stressful aspect does suggest harm from or trauma regarding to father.

I have studied Chinese astrology more than 15 years and now learning Western and both give me similar suggestions. If you have heard of Face reading, his ears (early childhood) also has significant indication. At this point, I am only sure as a form of separation/major change regarding to family/home.

You can say whatever you want. I had my own personal experience. And I don't just suddenly tell my sister your husband and family may go through major changes without careful consideration and evidences from other source. Even without looking at astrological chart, her husband has been unwell for a while now...and by accidence I also saw some suggestions from his son's chart.

I am here opened up to public, to share my own experiences because I have feeling for this topic in a personally level. As we all love astrology and occults, eventually we will come to a point knowing the things that we rather not to know...anyway....I believe I have expressed enough and got my points through. I don't need to explain myself any further.
 

MaeMae

Banned
But WHY do people want to predict death? I think it is an absolute abuse of astrologers or other mystics to even consider. The period of life btwn birth and death is all that matters in this world.
If I knew I would be fired from a job in 3 months, I would quit it today....
 

Moog

Well-known member
But WHY do people want to predict death? I think it is an absolute abuse of astrologers or other mystics to even consider. The period of life btwn birth and death is all that matters in this world.
If I knew I would be fired from a job in 3 months, I would quit it today....

Don't you like your job?

What about if you'd known the job was only a 3 month contract from the outset?
 

waybread

Well-known member
I went through a phase in my 30s when I felt almost frantic with the desire to be sufficiently psychic to predict the future. Don't ask me why: possibly I was under too much stress or had a vitamin imbalence or something. This was well before it even occurred to me to study astrology, and I had no idea that astrology dealt with prediction for those of us who are not psychic.

Then I experienced a sudden wake-up call, where I realized that with perfect prediction, I would know when my family members were going to die, as well as the future of horrible wars and natural disasters. Yet Cassandra-like, I would be unable to stop or postpone them, because perfect future prediction implies a belief that we are all just a bunch of pre-programmed robots. We would have to believe that our lives are like a video or DVD that was scripted at our moment of birth and that we had zero ability to change any of it.

If you really believe in death prediction, don't invest in your good health in any way-- smoke and drink all you want, because you're gonna go when you're gonna go. Don't bother to take care of your children-- if a long life is in their stars, don't prevent them from playing in the street or injecting addictive drugs.

I don't believe that even the most fatalistic person actually thinks this way about him- or herself. Are you like a machine, endlessly playing out the tape that was finalized at your moment of birth?

The forum rules at Astrodienst prohibit asking death questions or the outcome of fatal diseases. I think this is a good thing.

Just live your life to the fullest. Or as the Al Anon motto puts it, "Let go and let God." (Or let the universe unfold, for atheists.)
 
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MaeMae

Banned
i mean, if someone were to promise and predict my ending (if i depended on their substantive authority), i'd want to beat it to the punch rather than live in dread and ending, waiting for the inevitable.
this means, many people turn to astrologers to help them through life, not to scare them into action or acceptance.
have you ever read or seen, "watership down?"
a great example of this topic.
 

JUPITERASC

Well-known member
To Jupiter What I am worried about is based on the fact that my friend saw a transit Pluto approaching to the perfect conjunction toward his own natal moon and that was the day of his mother death. That happened many years ago. Personally, as I said I was committed suicide once at 17 years of age when I look back that year of transit Pluto was conjunct with my IC 4th house and ketu/south node, I attempted suicide at home. On the natal chart, distance between Sun and Pluto was 17 degrees. My sister's son his Pluto/Sun opposition will be perfected at the age of 5 years old. His Pluto is located at 4th house. My own sister, her Sun at 10th house, Sun Sesquisquare by Pluto from 3rd house, my sister suffered long term emotional and physical abused by our father. In my chart is Sun conjunct Saturn, Pluto semisequre Jupiter in 4th house. Sun and Jupiter in 4th can both represent father. My sister's husband love his son very much. They are indeed a very happy family. But no doubt when Pluto/Sun stressful aspect does suggest harm from or trauma regarding to father. I have studied Chinese astrology more than 15 years and now learning Western and both give me similar suggestions. If you have heard of Face reading, his ears (early childhood) also has significant indication. At this point, I am only sure as a form of separation/major change regarding to family/home. You can say whatever you want. I had my own personal experience. And I don't just suddenly tell my sister your husband and family may go through major changes without careful consideration and evidences from other source. Even without looking at astrological chart, her husband has been unwell for a while now...and by accidence I also saw some suggestions from his son's chart.
I am here opened up to public, to share my own experiences because I have feeling for this topic in a personally level. As we all love astrology and occults, eventually we will come to a point knowing the things that we rather not to know...anyway....I believe I have expressed enough and got my points through. I don't need to explain myself any further.
poyi – consider the fact that there are millions of people whose mother survived a 'perfect conjunction' of Pluto towards their natal moon :smile:

Regarding your nephew's Sun Opposition Pluto expected at 5 years old – remember EVERYONE born worldwide at that time has the identical aspect! Pluto effects are generational... IMO you are taking aspects out of context and you are also IMO taking on the responsibility of making these dire predictions for your family that are NOT 'set in stone'... your family must be upset with these dire predictions.... getting more advice from experienced astrologers would be a good idea.
i mean, if someone were to promise and predict my ending (if i depended on their substantive authority), i'd want to beat it to the punch rather than live in dread and ending, waiting for the inevitable.
but you just said
i like to keep it simple.
the moment we are born, our physical death is predicted.
which implies that in order to pre-empt death, you would avoid being born :smile:
this means, many people turn to astrologers to help them through life, not to scare them into action or acceptance.
have you ever read or seen, "watership down?"
a great example of this topic.
Exactly MaeMae. There are plenty of astrologers who appear intent on scaring people with bogey-man Pluto and here's an example from this forum from fotto who titled her post "Worried about my child's Sun Square Pluto! Is she doomed?"
Hello all, I have recently been to an astrologer and had my daughter's chart interpreted. She said pretty worrying things about her childhood. She is currently 2.5 years old and is a very warm, happy and social child who gets along with everyone. However according to her chart (Pluto and Saturn effects mainly as I've been told) she is supposed to be a very emotionally-reserved child, feeling constantly criticized, going through a really hard-time starting from school age and these will be all because of her father who will make her feel that way. My husband is a caring and involved father, also affectionate meaning does not have problems showing his love. He does have minor issues like everyone else but nothing described as being cold and unloving. I really do not understand.

I have been losing sleep over this and on top of this today I found out that my other child which is due this October (i am pregnant) also has this Sun Square Pluto aspect! :(

Are these aspects a doom on my children ?
:(

awfully worried mom
 

MaeMae

Banned
jupiter, when i said "waiting for the enevitable," i was thinking more along lines of a finite date. knowing i will die "someday" gives me the personal impetus to decide on my own terms how my time living is to be spent, not feeling under the gun to fit someone elses timeline.
i had two friends in life who both had terminal illnesses in 90's - one dying with AIDS and years later, one with uterine cancer. my friend with AIDS was given 6 months to live by 3 separate MD's. He lived 19 months after that. The other was given a year, but she passed 5 months later. Her husband once said after her passing, "I think she gave up early, believing those goddamned almighty medicos."
It broke my heart.
 

JUPITERASC

Well-known member
jupiter, when i said "waiting for the enevitable," i was thinking more along lines of a finite date. knowing i will die "someday" gives me the personal impetus to decide on my own terms how my time living is to be spent, not feeling under the gun to fit someone elses timeline.
i had two friends in life who both had terminal illnesses in 90's - one dying with AIDS and years later, one with uterine cancer. my friend with AIDS was given 6 months to live by 3 separate MD's. He lived 19 months after that. The other was given a year, but she passed 5 months later. Her husband once said after her passing, "I think she gave up early, believing those goddamned almighty medicos."
It broke my heart.
MaeMae, as dr. farr has indicated on more than one occasion, these ancient predictive techniqes are HELPFUL for finding critical times in a person's life in order to advise supportive measures to assist them at that time. Without calculating these techniques the person is none the wiser and could be putting themselves unnecessarily at risk.

The two examples you mentioned involve medics predicting death – not astrologers.


Obviously not everyone seeks information of this kind and those who do, must be prepared to apply the techniques for the intended purpose and to receive whatever answers are offered AS A GENERAL INDICATION NOT NECESSARILY SET IN STONE

and personally in any event, IMO one would be wise to check numerous techniques before jumping to conclusions. :smile:In fact, to quote Omnisphericus

... Hyleg and Alcocoden are showing the Vital Life Force of the native. They show how much years in life you have according to the 'Esse' or the condition of your body and soul. With the modern medicine it seems that this Esse is prolonged....

If the nativity dies from a serial killer, or a car accident H & A does not count, they do not show the accidents, they show the condition of the body and soul and accordingly how much years one have.
Clearly, these ancient techniques are useful in indicating the expected length of life AND IN VIEW OF MODERN MEDICINE this may well be prolonged. Conversely, accidents/if the nativity dies from a serial killer/car accidents are NOT shown.

Furthermore, earlier poyi clearly indicated having a belief that “when Pluto conjuncts anyone's natal moon”, then that person's mother dies and is also convinced that when Pluto opposes her nephew's natal Sun at the age of five some calamity is destined to befall the family. Clearly that is not universally applicable and leads to misery for those parents who have been led to believe that this event is inevitable.
 
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