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Unread 08-26-2006, 07:10 PM
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Unhappy ignorant mother becoming unbearable about my needs to better know/understand myself

it`s getting worse.. my mom is on my case about astrology and about how i`m a fanataic about it and how its guiding my life and how it`s like a cult i`m being sucked into and how if i have any questions about life that i should consult her and not some 'astrology ****' and how i`m just beating myself up and creating my own problems...imagining up problems i have or w/e other **** b/c asrology tells me that i should have those problems acording to my sun sign, according to readings and w/e else she probably thinks astrology is.

god knows i`ve tried so many times to lessen her ignorance about all this stuff, but the only thing she is concerned about is to disprove it completely to me and to make stop using it. she is a taurus with leo moon. she`s making my life MISERABLE right now. she asks me why i cry, but why the helld oesn`t she see it--SHE`s doing it to me. she doesn`t realize how wonderful astrology is and she doesn`t see the progress i`ve made within myself...and especially how happy i am to see it--how fulfilling it is!, how much it is a part of me--something i NEED to be happy, how natural it is for me to seek ways to improve myself, to make life easier and more enjoyable, it`s only something everybody would want if they saw the opportunity right in front of their eyes...like you do with astroogy, numerology and whatever else. she wonders what the hell i have to improve myself on. but everyone DOES there`s always something to improve on. i told her she only has to take some time out of her schedule to dedicate ot me so i can show her in clear text, in a methodical, clear format they key things in my personality, things i can`t live without especially. -!! I NEED to analyze the world around me ..and philosophisizing and seeking wisdown is something i jsut can`t live without. another is being shy, i can`t live with it and that`s what i`m trying to 'improve' i hate weaknesses and i want to work with i ahve to make the best of it. she won`t ever UNDERSTAND it`s not in her, i know that. every time she wants to talk i know she won`t be interested in truly understanding me better, she just wants to convince me that astrology is **** and that alll it`s doing is occupying a useless space in my mind thqat could be used to hold more useful information. that`s always going to be what she`ll be working for. my dad understands me so much better, she is so froceful and readily critical, abusively critical, her jupiter`s in virgo, i dunno if that has to do with it, but OH GOD just the **** that spews from the her mouth, the ignorance, she`s making my life unbearable and i don`t think i can stand it any longer!!

my inner longing/heart`s desire of 7 says it clearly!!!
"Your motivation is to LIVE IN THE INNER WORLD and concentrate on making discoveries that reveal the laws responsible for the workings of the manifestations and phenomena taking place in the outer sphere.
Minimizing the daily chores to strike a living and the hustles of pursuing a career and business life are part of this course.
Studying and analyzing the spectacles in every day life, by either following a scientific discipline or taking an esoteric approach, are the means by which you satisfy your desire to discover the metaphysical laws that govern all existence, and which gives the higher understanding and deeper wisdom that you are seeking so much.
Naturally, you avoid vivid action and hazardous situations, prefer to proceed with your own pace and have many interludes of contemplative and meditative states of mind. You like to be in your own company and near water or in vast desert-like plains. "

i`m a cancer sun with leo moon, if you know a bit about chinese astrology you might see better how much i need to clear up crazy things that i ahve in my head, or maybe u might just reagrd my personality as 'complex'. i`m rpetty much jsut not satisfied with everyday superficial things, and she jsut can`t see that. she is a rational, feet ont he ground, open-book, taurus with not too many complexities..though her leo moon does make her a bit more preoccupied with sensitivity to her environment, but still she completely ignores any problems she might be feeling---she jsut pushes em to the back of the bookshelf, never to be regarded again--and i can`1t do that! she`s not understanding or accepting of people at all. AT ALL. you must learn to be thwe way she wants you to be.


I just need advice!! from somebody rational right now, a methodical clear-cut explanation of what i can do to alleviate my situation.
Thank You!!! so much.


just in case somebody advises me to communicate with her all that i`m feeling i`m telling you...since it would seem as the most rational solution--i`ve tried it over and over and it DOESn`t WORK...

in a compat report between my mand my mom, astroadvice says
"You will turn to drastic measures in order to get your point across to this partner. You must not try to reform this partner, work on yourself instead."
I`ve tried and tried...it DOESN`t and won`t work...*sigh* sadly


in a couple hrosocpe..astroadvice says "Expect disagreements to escalate into large-scale problems between you and this person during this transit. Neither one of you will be willing to back down once you get started. Hurt feelings can be expected."

if i get no replies to this thread..basically i`ll just wait till the problem goes away... i don`t think there`s much else to do. hopefully she won`t completely ban me from the computer altogether. i dunno what i would do then. OMG don`t even want to think about it

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What I've Learned: Be honest with yourself, some people aren't worth getting to know, the ones that are will find you interesting and valuable. "Those who mind don't matter and those who Matter don't mind." - dR. sEUSS

"The sailor doesn't ask for more wind, he learns how to sail." (I have fixed signs most of all, 1 mutable) :]

Last edited by FishNChips62; 08-26-2006 at 07:37 PM. Reason: wanted to change main emoticon picture
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Unread 08-26-2006, 08:11 PM
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Re: ignorant mother becoming unbearable about my needs to better know/understand myself

DainBramaged,

It is quite possible that you will never be able to convince your mother of the benefits of astrology, especially if she is convinced that such "occult practices" are against her religious beliefs. Sadly, I have encountered many individuals who gain security and conviction in their own faith by denying the obvious fact that no religion has a copyright on God and one's beliefs are simply that--beliefs! I was baptized Catholic and can only speak from my limited perspective, yet I continuously amazed by the overwhelming number of ministers and laypersons who are convinced that to study astrology is a sin. Perhaps your mother fears that you may be ostracized for your interests and simply wishes to protect you from the harsh opinions of others which she herself shares, and she plans to accomplish this by convincing you that astrology is a farce. Perhaps she feels self-righteous in denying its practicality or intimidated that you are studying a subject she herself does not understand. It is important that you do not judge her for this, although a part of you may wish rebel against what you perceive to be unfair treatment. Please note that I am simply hypothesizing and do not claim to understand your own motives or those of your mother; I am simply a fellow teenager sharing her own perspective. I would recommend (and feel free to ignore my ideas) that as long as your mother is not outrightly prohibiting you from continuing your astrological studies, you acknowledge and respect her opinion while simultaneously developing your own. I believe this is what growing up is all about...

By the way this is the symbol I received from the Sabian Symbols' Oracle about your situation:

A man in deep gloom. Unnoticed, angels come to his help.
28º Libra

Quote:
208__(28°)
A MAN IN DEEP GLOOM. UNNOTICED, ANGELS COME TO HIS HELP Spiritual sustainment given to him who opens himself to his full destiny. Slow realizations of betterment. Unsolicited help.

___*When positive, the degree is a complete spiritual fellowship with human kind, and when negative, self-stultification through wishful thinking.
Arian Maverick
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Last edited by Arian Maverick; 08-26-2006 at 08:13 PM.
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Unread 08-26-2006, 09:04 PM
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Re: ignorant mother becoming unbearable about my needs to better know/understand myse

Dain,

Just a little observation...... It is the natural human tendency, especially when young, to subconsciously think that "Mom is right". It kinda sounded to me like this may be a good chunk of why you're in such a turmoil. It sounds like you're fighting this war inside your head - part of you think's she is right and part of you think's you are right. I think you hit the nail on the head with the title of your post "IGNORANT mother". Yes, she is. You ARE correct, and she is not. Ironically, it can be one of life's hardest lessons to realize that "mother" CAN be wrong.

However, you did make mention of you getting upset about the fact that she said you were imagining stuff and beating yourself up because your sun sign says you SHOULD have those problems. I have seen quite a bit of that kind of thing on this forum - people getting worked up because the "book" says that you should have this problem if you're under that sign, etc. She may have a point there if you are one of these people that tend to do that (I haven't noticed names, just that it happens frequently.) But, in my opinion, you can substitute "mother" with "book" and it boils down to the same problem of letting other people think for you ( if even just in your subconscious).

Just my opinion.... hope you find some of it useful.
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Unread 08-27-2006, 02:52 AM
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Re: ignorant mother becoming unbearable about my needs to better know/understand myself

Quote:
It is the natural human tendency, especially when young, to subconsciously think that "Mom is right". It kinda sounded to me like this may be a good chunk of why you're in such a turmoil
And indeed, "dad is right" too!! Dain, I remember feeling a similar kind intense frustrated hurt through relating to my parents. I can conjure up the feeling right now. I used to get a burning constricted ache in my throat. and I think Freedomlover is onto something with the idea that it is a war within as well as a war without.

As soon as you have more space between yourself and your mother (or father), which I now do, these conflicts and feelings will hopefully relax somewhat. It's very interesting, because initially it FELT to me like they relaxed because I was PROVING to my parents that my beliefs, values, and actions were valid. See, look at me go, it's working! I'm fine! I can do what I want!

In retrospect, I realise that I was actually proving these things to myself. I needed to get past the internalised opposition. I have relaxed as I have seen myself 'progress' according to my own beliefs, values, actions. Truth is, in a (few?) years time, it probably won't matter so much what your mum thinks of astrology. She won't have the opportunity to worry about, or to nag you about it quite so much.

Arian is right - I'm sure you will meet people other than your parents who are even more hostile to astrology, or your form of spirituality, or whatever else. You may have even met them already! BUT, no-one, in my opinion, is as capable of "pushing buttons" as your parents are. This is especially true when you live with them or rely on them. My parents practically had a remote control for me, with a big red button on it that said "hurt frustration". Even if your button only gets pushed rarely, and "in your own best interests" - as far as anyone can determine - it still feels horrid. There is no feeling like it. No one else gets hotwiring into your core beliefs and values the way that your parents do.

The trick is that your mum won't always have the remote control, or else you won't always have the big red button You get to spend the rest of your adult life un-programming what you've been given that doesn't work for you. Fortunately, this can sometimes help you realise what you have been given that does work for you. Hopefully, there is more that works than what doesn't. After I've had the chance to try my own way of being and doing, I have come to recognise, accept and thank my parents for many of the values and much of the support they gave me. I hope that's how it works for you too

It does sound like your mum will struggle to get past her blind reaction to astrology, and that she is missing out on the fact that you're ready and willing to talk to her about what you need your relationship. In the meantime, I guess your job IS to work on yourself. It might help to think about what you can do with your astrology/numerology studies without extensive computer time. This way if limits are imposed on computer use, you won't have your button pushed so harshly It might also help to relax your mum a little if she thinks you're on the internet to other occult freaks less often Also, if/when your mum gives you the space to talk, I would avoid direct reference to astrology/numerology. I don't mean hide what/where you are learning. I just mean say it in your own words, as she will probably find that more acceptable and comprehensible. In short, you don't have to accept your mother's opinion, but you can, if you choose to, take steps to lessen the potential for conflict over it (even if these steps seem, well, unnecessary!).
.
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Last edited by Howl; 08-27-2006 at 03:15 AM.
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Unread 08-28-2006, 03:19 AM
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Lightbulb Re: ignorant mother becoming unbearable about my needs to better know/understand myself

AM: (I learned today your name was Beth =] )

---You said "Perhaps your mother fears that you may be ostracized for your interests and simply wishes to protect you from the harsh opinions of others which she herself shares, and she plans to accomplish this by convincing you that astrology is a farce. Perhaps she feels self-righteous in denying its practicality or intimidated that you are studying a subject she herself does not understand."

I don`t think my mom doesn`t wants to protect me from the "harsh opinions of others which she herself shares" so much as she wishes to protect me from the distorting of one`s perception of reality that reading astrological advice can create. She basically thinks that I go online everyday and read my horoscope in the morning and then that my mood and ways of thinking for the rest of the day change because of what my horoscope was going to happen that day. Actually, she does have a point, but she doesn`t realize (even after I tell her) that I myself have realized this, too, and that that`s why I only use the daily horoscope to validate the way I was feeling on a day in the past, or a couple horoscope to verify that my friend and I really were very jovial and communicative that day we talked on the phone a while ago. It just feels good to have those kind of 'hunches' validated in your mind It`s nice to see it written in front of you, makes ya feel good.

Also, for the days that I am feeling bad, I will look at my horoscope and just the fact that it says exactly the way I feel makes me feel understood which makes me feel better already! It never happens the other way around, that I see my horoscope first and then feel bad, this is because the horoscope is always worder in a constructive way-- one that treats it as a challenge to grow and make new realizations, so even if it is going to be a 'bad day' perhaps it wouldn`t be so bad to have seen the horoscope beforehand so I could know to keep my mouth shut before I said something that would hurt somebody else or come out in a way I didn`t intend. Well, anyways, I just realized I`ve been blabbing on about something irrelevant to the subject here...OK so to get back on track, I think out of the choices you provided in that quote up there, AM, I`d say "she feels self-righteous in denying its practicality." That is pretty much just the way she is. She has a Leo moon, and that says it all. Look at what Asttrology-Numerology has to say about someone with a Taurus Sun and Leo Moon:

"The combination of your Sun sign and your Moon sign produces a strong determined will, well defined opinions, and a very forthright, honest, and fearless personality. There is much pride tied up in your nature. You respect others, but you listen to yourself and trust your personal abilities first and foremost. Not tending to rely on your intellect alone, you depend more on your hunches....You can be critical, but in a fair and constructive way. Wanting things done your way, you don't like to have your action very closely monitored or scrutinized, although you are not above doing this to others."

As you can see, this is a very strong personality you`re talking about here. Anyways, Thanks a lot for your help, everyone! I really do appreciate it! And I think the best approach here, now that I`m thinking more rationally, is to, like Howl said, "[not necessarily] ...accept [my] mother's opinion, but [I] can, if [I] choose to, take steps to lessen the potential for conflict over it" It`s what I`ve been doing since forever, but now i know to put more effort into being more evasive than ever. Then again, that`ll be pretty easy for me, actually it`s a natural thing, with my manipulative Cancer sun, and Machiavillan Pluto in 1st house and Scorpio ASC.

Howl:
---One little thing for you. You said "...BUT, no-one, in my opinion, is as capable of "pushing buttons" as your parents are. "
The only reason why my parents were able to push my buttons so harshly is b/c they were intentionally interfering with my love of astrology, they were telling me to stop using it and that it wasn`t good for me, they were trying to take it away! One of my best friends was very resistant to astrology as well, but she was more than happy to go to the library and check out Astrology books for me! She even did this when it was uncalled for. That`s why she never "pushed my buttons," though it did irritate me that she wouldn`t give in, especially when she admitted that a reading I did for her was very true! She just regarded it as 'creepy' even after she had just told me it was true what i told her about herself using astrological methods--she just would prefer not to incorporate it into her life. She is also someone who regards it as going against the bible b/c she believes somehow (I`ve never really asked her how she came about this notion) that we as mere mortals aren`t supposed to meddle in God`s business and actually question *gasp* how tomorrow will turn out, and in the least wonder why something is the way it is, b/c supposedly we should just accept the way things are and trust that God made them that way for a reason, and for a good one at that, one that shouldn`t be judged at all as possibly bad, unfair, or destructive. I mean, I can sort of understand where she was coming from, being taught about religion since she was little and all, and her father being a preacher..LOL but still I realized that this is jsut not the way of human nature....and for a good reason, too? I mean, where would we be today without our need for discovery? Our curiousity? Our need to question and find the true meaning of things is what really strengthens our future. I thought this was pretty obvious to everybody, but Hey! I guess not. So, that`s basically why she didn`t agree with it--b/c it questioned things that we need not meddle in..and also b/c it seemed like (from what she would tell me) that she didn`t have this need for discovery, a sense of curiosity..lol like most people do. But, well once I understood why it didn`t intrigue her and why instead, she regarded it as 'creepy' and unnecessary, I didn`t feel frustrated anymore...b/c that`s what I had been looking for..understanding why she had reacted this way. I did want to convince her too, that it was real, but that wasn`t my end goal. Plus, I`m pretty sure I had convinced her already anyway

Well, anywho`z just wanted to share that story--and also add that it really doesn`t feel like i`m shocked at all or in disbelief that my mom could be wrong for once b/c i`ve thought that she`s always supposed to be right. No, actually I had made that discovery long before this happened, and so I`ve realized that she is an imperfect human being for a while now. The main reason, i think, is because we both have leo moons, so i can see her imperfections especially clearly since I have them myself ..=)


And to end this message...Beth, I`d like to think that the little Sabian Symbol you provided was correct~! Indeed...=) the last post I made to my blog, after a few ranting ones mainly used for venting, was this one =)

"AMEN! This truly alights my current gloomy situation (with my mom), new found strength-yay!
Current mood: rejuvenated

http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1463"

Sounds like a guardian angel came to the rescue to me =)
Thanks, Beth!!

-Warm Regards-
Mabel! ^_^
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What I've Learned: Be honest with yourself, some people aren't worth getting to know, the ones that are will find you interesting and valuable. "Those who mind don't matter and those who Matter don't mind." - dR. sEUSS

"The sailor doesn't ask for more wind, he learns how to sail." (I have fixed signs most of all, 1 mutable) :]
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Unread 08-28-2006, 10:26 AM
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Sanem Sanem is offline
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Re: ignorant mother becoming unbearable about my needs to better know/understand myse

- gives Mabel a big Cancerian hug -

Glad to hear you're feeling better about it .

Lol, I just realised both my parents believe in astrology, lucky me .

I tend to beat myself up a lot too over people argumenting that astrology is a hoax.
But than I think that it's the way life is molding me, testing me, forcing me to evolve (Mars opp Sat conj MC = in order to assert myself, I need to learn to play by the rules).

But I figure my age and Tauran single-mindedness makes following my own path a bit easier.

Lol, we really have a similar way of expressing our thoughts, and yet so different (mine's more Arian I think).

Btw, I just realised you were born a day after the cutest girl I know .
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Unread 09-01-2006, 02:32 AM
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FishNChips62 FishNChips62 is offline
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Re: ignorant mother becoming unbearable about my needs to better know/understand myse

Hmmm.. sanem, =) i want to say mine is more Leonian (lol is that how ya say it..) and yours more Arian...but i dunno how that works so =) i`m..gonna leave it alone. Lol, um so YEA I do beat myself up over people not accepting astrology. Usually i just tell myself it`s not worth it, but that still doesn`t change how much it affects me...even if i don`t think about it. It still had a big impact..and is stored in my subconscious somewhere.

For me, pretty much, I think it`s important that I gain other`s acceptance. Yea, it`s pretty gay. Lol. Don`t follow in my footsteps. There isn`t much I can do about it, though, it`s just something I naturally need. Like, along with love and affection...and a nice bowl of ice cream at midnight. lol dunno why i said that. but, i think it might have something to do with me eating a bowl of ice cream at what feels like midnight..right now.

Lol, oh and that`s nice about the cutest girl thing. oh how i love to be flattered. v.v

=)

Lots of 'Cancerian' love

XD
-Mabel
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When lighting strikes the sea, why donīt all the fish die? Hahaha

What I've Learned: Be honest with yourself, some people aren't worth getting to know, the ones that are will find you interesting and valuable. "Those who mind don't matter and those who Matter don't mind." - dR. sEUSS

"The sailor doesn't ask for more wind, he learns how to sail." (I have fixed signs most of all, 1 mutable) :]
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Unread 09-03-2006, 09:14 PM
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Sanem Sanem is offline
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Re: ignorant mother becoming unbearable about my needs to better know/understand myse

Quote:
Originally Posted by DainBramaged
and a nice bowl of ice cream at midnight. lol dunno why i said that. but, i think it might have something to do with me eating a bowl of ice cream at what feels like midnight..right now.

Lol, oh and that`s nice about the cutest girl thing. oh how i love to be flattered. v.v
Lol, I would have loved to seen the ice bowl incident for myself, must have been a lovely sight .

And I'm currently interested in synastry (thanks Howl ), turns out the pretty girl and I have venus and other in each other's 7th houses, which I figure explains the attraction.
Oddly enough you give similar results, not sure about that one yet.

Anyway, I've had my candy for the evening and I'm off to bed. Night everyone (when most of you read this I'll be dreaming of pretty Cancers, Scorpio's... and having nightmares about supply and demand charts trying to cover me in chocolate sause and eat me ).
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