What is my lesson why I attract unfaithful/unavailable men?

N

Neptune Rising

Well-known member
Hi

I am trying to understand a few things about myself/my chart and my close relationships with men. Mostly, since my first proper relationship (which was abusive), I have attracted men who seem to be my second or last in their lives. Recently I met someone who I had a real connection with, but who lied and cheated on me. I sensed this before it was confirmed. What shocked me the most was the lack of empathy in him when confronted. It taught me alot about my ideals though, in that in expected him to have the same degree of caring that I have, though I realised that he wasn’t capable of empathy. This has been a pattern repeated through my life and started with my father and his own lack of empathy as well as lack of presence, which is my lesson and became very apparent from this recent relationship. I just wonder if I have it in my destiny to meet/settle down with a faithful guy before I retire, or if I’m meant to have these sorts of experiences.

I’ve been reading a bit about Neptune as its coming to conjunct my Moon and is already prominent in my natal chart on the ascendant and conjunct north node. It sextiles Venus/Mercury, rulers of my 5th, 6th, 7th, 9th and 10th houses. I’ve read that when a strong Neptune, it will always bring misery when we live through our egos and wants, but when we surrender to the will of the universe, its better. But its almost like the universe is asking me not to expect caring, empathy, loyalty etc.

With my Saturn in the 7th in Cancer, maybe I come across as cold to others, or is it I need to learn how to express my emotions more?

Thank you for any insight!

http://img547.imageshack.us/img547/6952/eono.gif
 
poyi

poyi

Premium Member
First obvious potential reason would be the tight conjunction of Neptune and North node at AC which is opposition to the DC, and SN conjunct DC obviously. Then Mercury as the ruler of the partnership, what kind of men you like and will attract would be the sign, house, dignity of the Mercury which intercepted conjoined Venus tightly while both square their modern ruler (Uranus in Scorpio then Pluto Rx in Libra, then back to Venus and quincunx to Saturn Rx).

Saturn the traditional ruler is Cancer detriment and Retrograde placed in 7th house then the next dispositor Moon for Cancer sign in Pisces which is also Peregrine. By traditional the final dispositor Jupiter in Pisces is well dignifited and placed in angular house yet it square AC. Jupiter does trine Saturn Rx. There are mixed of positive and negative as any other chart. But in general with modern perspective, Neptune at AC is very possible sign. Then secondly the Mercury ruler of 7th and significtor Venus (5th house lord) for partnership quincunx Saturn Rx.

5th house again is Taurus ruled by Venus so you can do down the same modern and traditional path to see if you find any cue.
 
Z

Zarathu

Account Closed
I can only make a quick reply because its a holiday. Its not just one thing. IMO.... It has to do with a combination of stuff including how you deal with change and expect changes in others, how you perceive the world in cognitive ways, how you deal with personal security, and other things.

These include you moon's extreme latitude, your Moon's phase, your OOB Mars, your sun in a critical degree, your Moon in Pisces, your tight YOD, that Jupiter has no power at all, Saturn is very high friction, as well as the fact that your 11th house of friendship and fifth house of romance have no power.

Then, IMO, you need to look at how you may be specifically challenged at the moment mentally---meaning how you are thinking about the world. Here we see an insulating Grand Water Trine in your Minor Progressed chart for the present. And you need to look at how you may be challenged emotionally and interacting emotionally at the moment and here we have to consider the mutable T-Square with Moon Apex.

All of these things, IMO, are in combination, what is conditioning how you are responding to men in your life. We could look further to midpoint pictures, Arabic Parts, Witte Sensitive Points, and asteroids to see how the conditioning is working out for your even further.

Its not just one thing or one way, IMO.

I will be out of the impact of the current holiday by January 3. Please PM me if you want me to qualify this stuff then.
 
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N

Neptune Rising

Well-known member
Thank you both!

Very interesting ways of seeing this, and I thank you for your time.

I've been thinking alot about this, I'm determined to learn what I can from this experience as it has been really painful but I see the value in learning from it.

The pain /experience in the recent relationship that I’ve been through could only come about from me trusting a man. “Trust” is the main issue that hurt me the most in being betrayed. I was ‘trusting’ him to be an ideal , that would not be humanly possible. As I’ve not really had a stable male role model in my life, I built my role model around my imagination and therefore am usually disappointed.

So whenever I start to trust a guy, I must put some of my self worth into him being some ideal.

The realities of life and my lessons are to make adjustments from the ideal to the real – Venus/Mercury sextile Neptune (ideal)/ Moon square Neptune, to the real (Venus/Mercury quincunx Saturn), though I based my expectations on fantasy to conceal and suppress the childhood wound and ego wound of my somewhat uncompassionate (appearing to me) father leaving when I was about 6/7(Sun square Chiron).

At this time in my life, I am going through a major overhaul, totally clearing out of my life all unnecessary and outworn possessions, both material and emotional, outworn beliefs etc. I think this may be reflected in the transit of Pluto parallel to natal Sun. And omg I feel quite lost at times, which I think is reflected in the transit Neptune conjunct to natal Moon as well as progressed Sun conjunct natal Moon, soon Nep square to natal Nep and ascendant. I feel I had to meet this guy, albeit unfaithful and unreliable, but connect on a level enough to let me trust him and thus be hurt, in order for me to see this side of myself reflected, so I may work through this unconscious stuff.

My karmic lessons may be to sort out fantasy from reality, with Venus/Nep yod to Saturn (conjunct Sirius). Lol, I may keep getting these 'lessons' until I am more grounded. I also love to expore the chakras as I am interested and teach about healing through movement/exercises/yoga. I have been quite ungrounded and part of the reasons for getting involved in therapies was to ground myself and build a stronger structure in my body.

Though I hope I will eventually meet someone to settle down with, I fear there is more stuff to work through in a close relationship. Probably with this same guy. One thing I am learning from Neptune in my chart, is to surrender to what is happening in some ways and trust in where I’m being led - that is, after I've freaked out at the situation enough! :p
 
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mdinaz

mdinaz

Well-known member
Please repost your chart but add all four main asteroids (pallas ceres juno vesta) along with the vertex, and aspect lines to all.
 
K

Krewster

Well-known member
Although T Nept is not yet on your Moon, at the moment it is "red" triangulating your natal Merc 45 Mars via the semi-octile family of aspects.

To the extent "trust" issues are Nept related, it may be helpful to consider such transit.

Hopefully, your natal Sun 30 Mars is a source of strength through this.
 
M

may28gemini

It's not just one thing, as Z mentioned but I will point to one particular thing I see and Poyi touched upon it.

I read Whole Signs and your detriment Cancer Saturn is in 8th house :sick:... shows a desperate search for the unavailable and wanting to make something real of what's hidden/not apparent. You have a night chart, and although your Saturn is placed above the horizon (Saturn is a day planet), Saturn is still debilitated and works against you so your search for the unattainable always tends to "blow" up in ways that you don't want and it does get blown up a lot because Saturn trines the all expansive domiciled Jupiter- it takes you a very long time to learn your lesson. The ruler of your 8th house that contains Saturn is in your 4th. Sweet Pisces Moon wishes "save" others but you have a sort of warped sense of feeling like the unattainable/unavailable will somehow dignify you and want something traditional with you... it has never been the case, even if your Moon does trines Saturn, as the Moon is in the face of Saturn and it goes back to ickiness of chasing illusions. Saturn is in control of your Moon but he is heavily debilitated on his own and in his own malefic house (8th). Ach... circles of endlessness.

Sorry, it sounded like I wasn't be nice to you, but don't take it personally...just what I see.
 
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N

Neptune Rising

Well-known member
Krewster said:
Although T Nept is not yet on your Moon, at the moment it is "red" triangulating your natal Merc 45 Mars via the semi-octile family of aspects.

To the extent "trust" issues are Nept related, it may be helpful to consider such transit.

Hopefully, your natal Sun 30 Mars is a source of strength through this.
Click to expand...

Many thanks for your reply, I have no internet at home so its taken a while for me to get back.

Transiting Neptune is currently and has been conjuncting the progressed Sun, which is also approaching my natal Moon. I wonder if this has something to do with it.

I don't know anything about octile or triangulating aspects. If there is an aspect with that and my Mercury though, I can see what you mean.

With the Sun/Mars, I am not sure how these are helping me in my chart. I am just guessing to their meaning, but I do exercise as I have alot of energy and I had anger from this recent issue with this guy.

thanks again!
 
N

Neptune Rising

Well-known member
may28gemini said:
It's not just one thing, as Z mentioned but I will point to one particular thing I see and Poyi touched upon it.

I read Whole Signs and your detriment Cancer Saturn is in 8th house :sick:... shows a desperate search for the unavailable and wanting to make something real of what's hidden/not apparent. You have a night chart, and although your Saturn is placed above the horizon (Saturn is a day planet), Saturn is still debilitated and works against you so your search for the unattainable always tends to "blow" up in ways that you don't want and it does get blown up a lot because Saturn trines the all expansive domiciled Jupiter- it takes you a very long time to learn your lesson. The ruler of your 8th house that contains Saturn is in your 4th. Sweet Pisces Moon wishes "save" others but you have a sort of warped sense of feeling like the unattainable/unavailable will somehow dignify you and want something traditional with you... it has never been the case, even if your Moon does trines Saturn, as the Moon is in the face of Saturn and it goes back to ickiness of chasing illusions. Saturn is in control of your Moon but he is heavily debilitated on his own and in his own malefic house (8th). Ach... circles of endlessness.

Sorry, it sounded like I wasn't be nice to you, but don't take it personally...just what I see.
Click to expand...

Haha, a very long time indeed, to learn my lesson! :sideways:

Its kind of what I have done, when I am not conscious of it. With this recent guy, I lost myself in him even though he was pretty free, just rather unfaithful.


Many thanks for your honest reply, I do appreciate it!
 
N

Neptune Rising

Well-known member
Through this recent experience, I've started to do alot of work on the qualities of my chakras, especially the 1-3 chakras as that's where the early childhood wound with regard to my father came from. Maybe this relates to the Chiron in the 4th house, square Sun, trine Mars. With 2nd chakra, as well as my Neptunian influences, I tended to give my power/self over to others as I was not able to develop a strong sense of self when younger. I think when I am unconscious of it, my Pisces moon has always wanted to be saved, I tended to give my power/energy/self away to others, usually in close relationships with men, which relates to my 2nd and 3rd chakras of relating to others with healthy boundaries as well as having a strong sense of self.

Until meeting this guy, this has been hidden to me as I've had relationships with guys but not really 'trusted' them or felt open with them. But this guy was different, I felt I could trust him and I loved him. He had a Venus/Chiron opposite Uranus, square Mars, with this Venus/Chiron conjunct my Chiron, so he really opened up my wound and showed me exactly what I as projecting outwards and what I always feared the most in a close relationship - opening myself up to a close relationship with a guy, trusting him then being betrayed and abandoned, and so it happened. I avoided facing this fear until now due to me picking guys I didn't really 'love' or 'trust'. I can now see this period as an awakening for me, as the pain subsides, I can view it more objectively. It was something that was meant to happen, which I managed to avoid up until now and cover over.

With regards to the chakras, 2nd especially, I read somewhere that if there is some childhood trauma, the child with give its energy over to the parent and live through them or to please them. http://spiritofmaat.com/apr09/abandonment_abyss_part2.html.

Now it's strange, I have a different view of relationships. I know I still have alot of work to do on my 2nd and 3rd chakra issues, maybe 1st too. While doing so, I am not sure I can have what is known as a traditional relationship (eg marriage), as I feel I have yet to establish and practice with my proper boundaries, so I am open minded to what man comes into my life next. It's not what I've read or heard before, that I don't have a 'full' relationships because I feel unworthy, I don't have one because I need to work on my boundaries, they are out of balance. I feel my boundaries are not yet established as I would like, so I sense that will not bring the typical type of relationship that I've fantasised about (as MayGemini mentioned). That knowledge in itself has been quite empowering, as I've always felt as if I am unworthy to have a 'proper' relationship. Now I feel worthy enough to work on myself and my boundaries.

I've felt that the Venus/Mercury sextile Nep, making a yod to my Saturn has been the life long lesson of establishing proper boundaries, making adjustments from my ideal (Venus/Nep) to the concrete. Hopefully the Saturn conjunct Sirius has some saving graces.
 
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Shanti

Shanti

Well-known member
Hi

It seems to me that your Parental axis (MC/IC) is in your chart under great stress natally by PL and SA tightly interlocked into this axis. This tells of some early hard times in life with parents on some level.

This may have caused some early decisions or beliefs about the world that is shaping your experience in relationships matters today.

The eclipse in 12th house (whole signs) and transiting Saturn also in 12th
Chance to work on subconscious undoing. This eclipse are trining Saturn in 8th house. Challenge is to resist fear to go deep into yourself in order to transform. Transiting Jupiter in 8th (WHS) is also pointing to this opportunity this year.

Transiting Pluto and Uranus affecting parental axis now
Chance to becoming aware of old beliefs and patterns and transform them.

You have all the chance of having good future relationships.

natal south node on descendent.

Don't push it. Work on yourself (north node in 1st) Develop selfworth and rediscover the basic goodness that is your birthright. Then you will attract the relationships you deserve.
 
N

Neptune Rising

Well-known member
Shanti said:
Hi

It seems to me that your Parental axis (MC/IC) is in your chart under great stress natally by PL and SA tightly interlocked into this axis. This tells of some early hard times in life with parents on some level.

This may have caused some early decisions or beliefs about the world that is shaping your experience in relationships matters today.

The eclipse in 12th house (whole signs) and transiting Saturn also in 12th
Chance to work on subconscious undoing. This eclipse are trining Saturn in 8th house. Challenge is to resist fear to go deep into yourself in order to transform. Transiting Jupiter in 8th (WHS) is also pointing to this opportunity this year.

Transiting Pluto and Uranus affecting parental axis now
Chance to becoming aware of old beliefs and patterns and transform them.

You have all the chance of having good future relationships.

natal south node on descendent.

Don't push it. Work on yourself (north node in 1st) Develop selfworth and rediscover the basic goodness that is your birthright. Then you will attract the relationships you deserve.
Click to expand...

Hi Shanti

Thanks for your time in looking and replying.

Yes exactly right!

Yes that is what I am going through with intensity right now. I am indeed exploring my old patterns and gradually unravelling them. I see no other way for me to go. I get insights into various aspects of this process which I cannot ignore.

I always wondered what this Uranus/Pluto in hard aspect to my nadir/MC was all about. It is more clear now.

It seems like a slow process, but I realise I have come a long way from what I was like, more to go and it happens as it should and in it's own time. Lol, I have impatience sometimes, maybe that is my first house Mars in Sag!
 
Shanti

Shanti

Well-known member
Yes that is what I am going through with intensity right now. I am indeed exploring my old patterns and gradually unravelling them. I see no other way for me to go. I get insights into various aspects of this process which I cannot ignore.
Click to expand...
Sounds great, even though it may be hard sometimes.
The trines to benefics from the Saturn pluto square on the parental axis will be most helpful and help to guide you the right way I think. :smile: Trust !
You got a nice Jupiter to assist you.
 
mdinaz

mdinaz

Well-known member
Sorry I'm late to the party, it looks like many have touched upon the answer already.

The most obvious indicators are the 4th house Chiron square 7th house Saturn, which is opposite Vesta on the 2nd cusp. As you yourself pointed out, you have a very negative male role model in your childhood, causing a deep soul wound to the ego/pain body - finding safety and security and comfort in the home (the 4th house) is seriously compromised with the pain body (Chiron) square Saturn (father, male role models), losing safety and security (Saturn in Cancer), thus affecting all your relationships (Saturn in the 7th). This extends further however than you can imagine -

With Saturn opposite Vesta, your ability to manifest positive relationships is severely hampered. Vesta is where we put our thoughts and beliefs into the Universe for manifestation into the physical - and with Vesta in Capricorn and opposite Cap ruler Saturn - this ability is severely compromised. Vesta is on the 2nd cusp - the 2nd house is where our beliefs and morals lie, and Vesta is driven by thoughts and beliefs. The Universe creates exactly what our thoughts and beliefs mirror, and your beliefs mirror a negative world-view of men and male role models. It is this belief that is sent to the Universe. Your manifestations come out through the Vertex, which is in Cancer in the 8th house. Thus, your negative creations directly impact your notions of safety and security as the Vertex is directly opposing the Sun in the 2nd house. Venus is also in the 2nd house and quincunx Saturn as well. You've got a very powerful creation machine here churning out the same guys over and over, guys that mirror your beliefs and childhood experience. It is a vicious cycle that will be hard to break.

There is a cradle on the Western side of the chart that will assist you in breaking this cycle. Chiron is sextile to Pallas in the 2nd in Aquarius - the first step is getting a handle on the problem. You've already identified the issue started in childhood and are seeking solutions. With Pallas in Aquarius in the 2nd, you will start coming up with a list of ideas, such as astrology here on the forum, to help you get your mind around the issues. Pallas is conjunct Venus, so the next step is formulating a plan in how to change your beliefs about men, relationships, and your place in them. In what ways can you modify your beliefs? You know deep down not every man is like this, you see other people in happy relationships, so at least you know it is possible. Venus is conjunct Mercury, so start thinking differently - affirmations, wish boards, positive thinking - start directing positive energy and positive imagery to the Universe.

Mercury and Venus and sextile Neptune - imagination will be very important. You must imagine as if the situation you desire already exists - feel what it would feel like as if you had already broken this cycle and brought in the partners you desire, without fear - without the fear of them disappointing you, or leaving. The Universe creates whatever you focus on, it doesn't care if your focus is positive or negative - negative thoughts are equally powerful prayers as positive thoughts. With the Neptune to Mercury/Venus sextile, your imagination is a very powerful tool. Don't abuse it.

Neptune is conjunct Node and sextile Pluto - this has been your life path. Breaking out of the negative thought/belief cycle and changing your world in every possible way. Once Pluto is activated in the manner I describe above, with Pluto conjunct the MC, every facet of your life will change, not just relationships. Pluto is square your Saturn, so this is going to take some major effort from you to break this cycle. You'll have to abandon everything you ever knew or thought you knew about relationships and men. You will also likely have to abandon some of the male figures in your life who may be leading you astray or providing negative reinforcement. With Mercury and Venus also semisextile Vesta, once you change your thinking and ideas, you'll start putting positive energy into Vesta, which will then balance out the negativity of Saturn men in your life.

With south node in the 6th house, in recent past lives you were the one assisting others, taking care of them and healing them. Now in this life, you'll be forced to heal and take care of yourself, something that was ignored or denied in past lives. With the north node in the 12th, you'll have to confront many demons alone, and only the sheer force of your own determination will defeat this cycle - no one can do it for you. But this is your life path and it can be done.
 
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waybread

waybread

Well-known member
NR, here is my take on your chart.

You are an unusually idealistic person: on a scale of one to ten, you are a 9.7! Neptune in the 12th conjunct the ascendant, squaring Pisces moon conjunct Jupiter may make you prone to deception, because the 12th rules secret enemies, deception, and disappointments of various sorts, caused largely by a high level of idealsm. Neptune also sextiles your Venus-Mercury, suggesting a rich imagination. This is good for artists and writers, but with Mercury ruling your 7th house cusp, you attach a lot of this idealism and imagination to the man in your life.

Gemini on the 7th can suggest an attraction to men who are intelligent, versatile, and good conversationalists but, yes-- fickle.

Neptune in the 12th can also suggest victimhood: either you express it yourself or attract people who do.

I think the planet to strengthen here is your Capricorn sun-- it knows how to be the pragmatic realist. Saturn trine Jupiter can help out, as well. Saturn will always tell you how 2 + 2 = 4, not 5, as hoped-for.

However, what may seem like the astro-source of your problems also seems like your biggest asset. If you haven't already mastered the ability to give unconditional love, you are probably on your way there. You have a heart as big as all-outdoors.

So don't trust that the next man in your life will the faithful. If you love him and get along, enjoy the relationship for as long as it lasts; recognizing that he is a flawed human being and that the relationship may not be permanent.

You have love in your heart to spare, and do not need to hunt for what you already have.

Lessons? I dunno. Maybe Lao Tsu (Lao Tse) is worth reading (or re-reading.)

http://www.taoism.net/ttc/complete.htm
 
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miquar

miquar

Well-known member
Waybread's input is as insightful and yet accessible/useable as always. The only thing I would add is that since your father expressed Capricornian energy in a way which hurt you, he might have put you off embracing your own Capricorn side. But as Waybread says, this part of you can turn things around.
 
N

Neptune Rising

Well-known member
Thank you Mdinaz for replying, sorry I am late, I have no internet at home and have to wait until I'm in the office.

I am also relating this to the chakras. I feel the Chiron, and yes I've found it hard to get stability in myself which even affects my spine/lower back pain which I'm healing through exercise and meditation. Parents split when I was about 6/7 and me and my mum left the country for about 6 months to live abroad, then came back. Feels like a life long lesson to work through.

Even now, after this latest unfaithful guy, I have a manager at work hitting on me and I refuse his advances though he keeps trying. I guess he is mirroring something inside me which thinks I am not worth respecting, for when I think of that I feel that's the case from the pain I feel from how he tries to treat me. It gets me down, though I now realise a bit more and try to remain centred in my own inner value. It's like a psychic battle with this manager!

There is also an old manager who seems to 'want' something from me! Lol, I have had this pattern where I'd give over my power to these powerful men in my life, but I've started to see through it and when I find myself with these men, I just feel I'm starting to outgrow that pattern. But maybe part of the lesson is to bring this thought into actuality and verbalise it to them or make it somehow clear to them. Also to trust that I am looked after by the universe, staying grounded, trusting.

It feels like now, I am surrounded by a load of ":?>?>":" and so frustrating to be in that mire! But I know in myself its up to a total change of perspective for it to change, and it is a struggle to bring that about but I don't feel I can give it up. Its like a relentless path I'm pushed to follow. I've been lazy enough in my past.

About the Pallas, I am very thankful there is a solution. I do have faith because I see my mum in a loving supportive relationship with my step father, and the older I get, the more I realise just what a nice person he is, in the way he looks after her and the way he treats me. Its just my own projections I seem to have trouble with. In my past, I would scapegoat myself for being somehow 'bad' to draw those 'bad' situations to myself, though now I can see this I am starting to go back to my roots and ground myself (root chakra) so from there, I can work on healing other issues of boundaries, worth etc.

I do like affirmations though kind of give up on them, almost. I keep trying! :tongue:

Thank you so much, I do appreciate your detailed reply!

mdinaz said:
Sorry I'm late to the party, it looks like many have touched upon the answer already.

The most obvious indicators are the 4th house Chiron square 7th house Saturn, which is opposite Vesta on the 2nd cusp. As you yourself pointed out, you have a very negative male role model in your childhood, causing a deep soul wound to the ego/pain body - finding safety and security and comfort in the home (the 4th house) is seriously compromised with the pain body (Chiron) square Saturn (father, male role models), losing safety and security (Saturn in Cancer), thus affecting all your relationships (Saturn in the 7th). This extends further however than you can imagine -

With Saturn opposite Vesta, your ability to manifest positive relationships is severely hampered. Vesta is where we put our thoughts and beliefs into the Universe for manifestation into the physical - and with Vesta in Capricorn and opposite Cap ruler Saturn - this ability is severely compromised. Vesta is on the 2nd cusp - the 2nd house is where our beliefs and morals lie, and Vesta is driven by thoughts and beliefs. The Universe creates exactly what our thoughts and beliefs mirror, and your beliefs mirror a negative world-view of men and male role models. It is this belief that is sent to the Universe. Your manifestations come out through the Vertex, which is in Cancer in the 8th house. Thus, your negative creations directly impact your notions of safety and security as the Vertex is directly opposing the Sun in the 2nd house. Venus is also in the 2nd house and quincunx Saturn as well. You've got a very powerful creation machine here churning out the same guys over and over, guys that mirror your beliefs and childhood experience. It is a vicious cycle that will be hard to break.

There is a cradle on the Western side of the chart that will assist you in breaking this cycle. Chiron is sextile to Pallas in the 2nd in Aquarius - the first step is getting a handle on the problem. You've already identified the issue started in childhood and are seeking solutions. With Pallas in Aquarius in the 2nd, you will start coming up with a list of ideas, such as astrology here on the forum, to help you get your mind around the issues. Pallas is conjunct Venus, so the next step is formulating a plan in how to change your beliefs about men, relationships, and your place in them. In what ways can you modify your beliefs? You know deep down not every man is like this, you see other people in happy relationships, so at least you know it is possible. Venus is conjunct Mercury, so start thinking differently - affirmations, wish boards, positive thinking - start directing positive energy and positive imagery to the Universe.

Mercury and Venus and sextile Neptune - imagination will be very important. You must imagine as if the situation you desire already exists - feel what it would feel like as if you had already broken this cycle and brought in the partners you desire, without fear - without the fear of them disappointing you, or leaving. The Universe creates whatever you focus on, it doesn't care if your focus is positive or negative - negative thoughts are equally powerful prayers as positive thoughts. With the Neptune to Mercury/Venus sextile, your imagination is a very powerful tool. Don't abuse it.

Neptune is conjunct Node and sextile Pluto - this has been your life path. Breaking out of the negative thought/belief cycle and changing your world in every possible way. Once Pluto is activated in the manner I describe above, with Pluto conjunct the MC, every facet of your life will change, not just relationships. Pluto is square your Saturn, so this is going to take some major effort from you to break this cycle. You'll have to abandon everything you ever knew or thought you knew about relationships and men. You will also likely have to abandon some of the male figures in your life who may be leading you astray or providing negative reinforcement. With Mercury and Venus also semisextile Vesta, once you change your thinking and ideas, you'll start putting positive energy into Vesta, which will then balance out the negativity of Saturn men in your life.

With south node in the 6th house, in recent past lives you were the one assisting others, taking care of them and healing them. Now in this life, you'll be forced to heal and take care of yourself, something that was ignored or denied in past lives. With the north node in the 12th, you'll have to confront many demons alone, and only the sheer force of your own determination will defeat this cycle - no one can do it for you. But this is your life path and it can be done.
Click to expand...
 
N

Neptune Rising

Well-known member
Hi Waybread, thank you for your reply!

Yep I love art, music, escaping into the ideal. I did think the other night, after a sip of wine, that the ideal is far from the reality of life which is raw, rude, ruthless as well as sometimes beautiful. The 'raw' never ceases to shock me, even now.

I've always been attracted to the fun types of me, often they are loud and chatty, they have had to be as I am so reticent. But as you say about the Sun, I am becoming more like this. Those chatty types appeal less, although I still get the verbal wool pulled over my eyes though not for that long.

Even with this manager at work hitting on me now, I can see past this behaviour to the possible root of it, and forgive him. Though I react with a bit of ego for a while. I would like to be able to settle in a relationship and have this forgiveness, though I need to work on my boundaries, inner trust, I think to be able to. I think with close relations I tend to give them my security so when then do prove to be normal and flawed, maybe my ideal is shattered. Its ok in casual romances as I don't give them as much. Hmmm, I will have a look over that book, thanks for your time looking at my chart :smile:

waybread said:
NR, here is my take on your chart.

You are an unusually idealistic person: on a scale of one to ten, you are a 9.7! Neptune in the 12th conjunct the ascendant, squaring Pisces moon conjunct Jupiter may make you prone to deception, because the 12th rules secret enemies, deception, and disappointments of various sorts, caused largely by a high level of idealsm. Neptune also sextiles your Venus-Mercury, suggesting a rich imagination. This is good for artists and writers, but with Mercury ruling your 7th house cusp, you attach a lot of this idealism and imagination to the man in your life.

Gemini on the 7th can suggest an attraction to men who are intelligent, versatile, and good conversationalists but, yes-- fickle.

Neptune in the 12th can also suggest victimhood: either you express it yourself or attract people who do.

I think the planet to strengthen here is your Capricorn sun-- it knows how to be the pragmatic realist. Saturn trine Jupiter can help out, as well. Saturn will always tell you how 2 + 2 = 4, not 5, as hoped-for.

However, what may seem like the astro-source of your problems also seems like your biggest asset. If you haven't already mastered the ability to give unconditional love, you are probably on your way there. You have a heart as big as all-outdoors.

So don't trust that the next man in your life will the faithful. If you love him and get along, enjoy the relationship for as long as it lasts; recognizing that he is a flawed human being and that the relationship may not be permanent.

You have love in your heart to spare, and do not need to hunt for what you already have.

Lessons? I dunno. Maybe Lao Tsu (Lao Tse) is worth reading (or re-reading.)

http://www.taoism.net/ttc/complete.htm
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N

Neptune Rising

Well-known member
miquar said:
Waybread's input is as insightful and yet accessible/useable as always. The only thing I would add is that since your father expressed Capricornian energy in a way which hurt you, he might have put you off embracing your own Capricorn side. But as Waybread says, this part of you can turn things around.
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Hi Miquar, thank you for adding that. This is quite right and it's how I was for years. I avoided, maybe unconsciously, expressing my Capricorn traits. Perhaps I experienced my father energy as the cold side of Capricorn, well that is how I recently discovered was a side to him I never wanted to face up to, until now and this recent experience. In a way, I am grateful to this recent 'ex' for being the way he was with me, because it really gave me the insight that I kept well buried but detrimentally buried. I am working on my boundaries, hopefully the more constructive side of Capricorn.
 
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