Not feeling very feminine? aspects
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I found that Mercurials can have this genderless way to them. This effect being stronger in Geminis than Virgos. Mercurials are not exactly manly or feminine.
Perhaps this is due to the youthful nature of Mercury. Humans don't develop their secondary sex characteristics, what really differentiates the men from the women, until they grow up some during puberty.
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thespunkysagittarius
Active member
Hi There,
I completely relate to all you have said. For me, I am very girly on the outside, I am into fashion, make-up, and I love, love, love men also. Though, I wasn't into playing with hotwheels, or fighting with boys, I did not like playing with dolls, I never wanted to get married and have children and I loved playing all kinds of sports.
I always felt like a girl on the outside, loved being a girl, loved boys and then men, but emotionally I am totally a man, hands-down. And honestly, I like feeling that way. I do not get emotional, I rarely cry, I am very emotionally "masculine-orientated." My mother always called me the ice-queen but I never understood why. I always worked in a male dominated business environment and preferred it, because everything was just a business transaction and nothing else and I loved that, there were no cat fights, tears, drama, etc.
I do have to say that my chart is predominately fire and air - majority of the planets in Sag & Gemini and I have a Leo rising. I only have 1 planet in water (which I hate saying) Mars in pisces, but hey... there had to be something thrown in to tone down the energy. I am very, very physical and live for health and fitness. I run and spin every day, but I have to, or else I think I might mentally go insane. I have to have the physical activity every day and have since I was a child. After learning about astrology I finally came to realize I was not a freak of nature as my mother always said, instead I have a chart full of fire and air.
I just saw that you have your Leo Asc in the Aries Decan, Aries being the sign that terribly masculinizes women the most.Hi There,
I completely relate to all you have said. For me, I am very girly on the outside, I am into fashion, make-up, and I love, love, love men also. Though, I wasn't into playing with hotwheels, or fighting with boys, I did not like playing with dolls, I never wanted to get married and have children and I loved playing all kinds of sports.
I always felt like a girl on the outside, loved being a girl, loved boys and then men, but emotionally I am totally a man, hands-down. And honestly, I like feeling that way. I do not get emotional, I rarely cry, I am very emotionally "masculine-orientated." My mother always called me the ice-queen but I never understood why. I always worked in a male dominated business environment and preferred it, because everything was just a business transaction and nothing else and I loved that, there were no cat fights, tears, drama, etc.
I do have to say that my chart is predominately fire and air - majority of the planets in Sag & Gemini and I have a Leo rising. I only have 1 planet in water (which I hate saying) Mars in pisces, but hey... there had to be something thrown in to tone down the energy. I am very, very physical and live for health and fitness. I run and spin every day, but I have to, or else I think I might mentally go insane. I have to have the physical activity every day and have since I was a child. After learning about astrology I finally came to realize I was not a freak of nature as my mother always said, instead I have a chart full of fire and air.
Do you ever find yourself just simply being friends to men due to your unwomenly behavior?
thespunkysagittarius
Active member
Yes!! In fact, I PREFER to have male friends than female friends. Although, I am really trying to connect more with women but let me tell you its quite a challenge. But, its something I have to do because one of my life lessons is to become more in touch with my femininity and this something easy for me to do outside, its internally very difficult for me to do because I do not feel all that feminine on an emotional level.
Strange.
A girl that looks womanly but doesn't act so girly sounds like one of the coolest types of people. I'm surprised that you find it hard to make men see you as more than just a friend.
I suppose one major issue with women who don't behave in a feminine manner is power struggles. The higher a man's testosterone levels, the less likely he is to compromise and be able to share power.
thespunkysagittarius
Active member
Ohhh.... Im sorry, I misunderstood what you were saying. I definitely do not have a problem with men seeing me more than a friend for sure. In fact, that's the problem, see I would prefer to have all male friends because its easier for me to connect with them than women. However, once I become friends with them then they want to be with me, date me, marry me and thats when it becomes a real issue because I simply desired only friendship with them because I enjoyed who they were as a person, not because I wanted an intimate relationship with them, I enjoyed their company and conversation.Strange.
A girl that looks womanly but doesn't act so girly sounds like one of the coolest types of people. I'm surprised that you find it hard to make men see you as more than just a friend.
I suppose one major issue with women who don't behave in a feminine manner is power struggles. The higher a man's testosterone levels, the less likely he is to compromise and be able to share power.
In my younger days, I trainwrecked a lot of men because I didnt get it. I didnt get that after awhile a man would want to be more than just my friend and no longer just "buddies" that you chat and hang out with, thats when things would go completely sideways.
Honestly, the only male friends that are really my friends are gay and that's fine by me because I don't have to worry about the train going off the rails!
You sound weird and scary. I should start calling you trouble.Ohhh.... Im sorry, I misunderstood what you were saying. I definitely do not have a problem with men seeing me more than a friend for sure. In fact, that's the problem, see I would prefer to have all male friends because its easier for me to connect with them than women. However, once I become friends with them then they want to be with me, date me, marry me and thats when it becomes a real issue because I simply desired only friendship with them because I enjoyed who they were as a person, not because I wanted an intimate relationship with them, I enjoyed their company and conversation.
In my younger days, I trainwrecked a lot of men because I didnt get it. I didnt get that after awhile a man would want to be more than just my friend and no longer just "buddies" that you chat and hang out with, thats when things would go completely sideways.
Honestly, the only male friends that are really my friends are gay and that's fine by me because I don't have to worry about the train going off the rails!
You like men but don't really like them and want to connect with women but are struggling with it. Just wondering if you happen to be a homosexual?
I completely understand why those men you knew ended up feeling that way. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt by assuming you're okay looking. Sure a man can do manly things like talk about boxing, UFC, bbq, steakhouses, p0rn, men's style, etc with women, but they can also do it with their male buddies. In fact, their male buddies are likely to be more knowledgeable in those areas. So after awhile they begin to realize this girl is pretty cool she seems like an okay girlfriend.
I found that women make better friends for men if they happen to be tomboys or have a high tolerance for being able to sit there for hours listening to sports' play by plays. Those are the exceptions. The best friends for men are typically men.
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thespunkysagittarius
Active member
Your funny! Trust me I am not weird or scary. I have been married before and I have two grown sons who are now going to be 19 & 22. They are both great people, my oldest son is married and my youngest is in his 2nd year of college. I can't be that much of a freak.
I feel like I was a man in the last life or something, so I connect very well with men on a social / every day level, I am very into business (investment banking) and I am not emotional. Meaning at work, I am not catty, I dont gossip, I dont care who is wearing what or dating whoever, I am all about closing deals and business transactions. Women dont tend to be friends with women who have this kind of personality, but men do.
For example, if some chick is crying over some guy who basically doesnt want to be with her, most women would be there telling her just hang in there, whatever. But me, I would be like, he doesnt like you, hello, why are you crying, move on! See, the emotional part is very void for me. So, I mechanically have to find compassion, which is difficult but I make an effort. It's difficult because I simply dont feel it but know I should. These are the types of feminine things I am working on.
You're pretty funny yourself. Memories from as early as 3 years old, imaginary boyfriends with names, etcYour funny! Trust me I am not weird or scary. I have been married before and I have two grown sons who are now going to be 19 & 22. They are both great people, my oldest son is married and my youngest is in his 2nd year of college. I can't be that much of a freak.
I feel like I was a man in the last life or something, so I connect very well with men on a social / every day level, I am very into business (investment banking) and I am not emotional. Meaning at work, I am not catty, I dont gossip, I dont care who is wearing what or dating whoever, I am all about closing deals and business transactions. Women dont tend to be friends with women who have this kind of personality, but men do.
For example, if some chick is crying over some guy who basically doesnt want to be with her, most women would be there telling her just hang in there, whatever. But me, I would be like, he doesnt like you, hello, why are you crying, move on! See, the emotional part is very void for me. So, I mechanically have to find compassion, which is difficult but I make an effort. It's difficult because I simply dont feel it but know I should. These are the types of feminine things I am working on.
Isn't investment banking male dominated? I briefly considered the life of an i-banker, Venus also rules my 10th, for like 2 days until I realized there are often long and crazy hours. I love my hobbies and leisure time too much. I don't drink, but turning down the bottles and models, just the models, aspect of the i-banker lifestyle was quite painful for about a day.
I suppose i-banking is very fitting of your Taurus Midheaven. Banking and investing it doesn't get anymore Taurean than that.
I can see how you would be toxic for women. It sounds like you're too objective, focused on the task at hand, and solution oriented. I know this because I can be objective and solution oriented myself. Women simply enjoy the process of feeling their emotions too much even when it looks pointless to the rational minds--like your buddies crying about being rejected by men. Some advice I got for these kind of situations is to just shut up and listen for awhile. I have yet to actually sit through and listen to a woman's emotional outburst though. I learned recently that testosterone especially if a man has higher levels makes men disinterested in understanding women's emotions.
Perhaps the lack of compassion is due to that Air Moon. I once read that Geminis are most likely to be serial killers.
How are your cooking and mommying skills? Those are some of the most important feminine skills imo.
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M
may28gemini
LOL gemini as serial killers! i have gemini sun, mercury, venus in the 9th house so i have that combo of gemini-sagittarius personality that comes out and trust me, we're not serial killers. we're not serious enough to even want to commit to killing a fly (most of the time) 
hey spunkysagit, i can relate. i like being friends with males too. all my planets are masculine with the exception of my pisces moon, taurus mars, and scorpio uranus and i can say, i don't really "feel" feminine even thought i look, act, and sound feminine. the main source of the problem for me is that i definitely don't think feminine. i have gemini in sun, venus, and mercury (neutral but masculine) and not only that, my mercury and venus are conjunct so that's like extra neutrality.
i was friends with a lot of guys but then got really alienated when they wanted more and i didn't. i was friends with my ex-husband before we got together... that was really all i wanted. he was pushing me and wanted a relationship, offered me a lot of love (leo sun) and wanted me badly on all levels. i was hesitant about it for a long time because i didn't want to say yes to him without knowing if i could deliver the same amount of fire back at him. for several months, we were spending a lot of time together, hanging out, talking, and kissed a little. we even slept in the same bed together (clothes on, it wasn't sexual) and developed more closeness. as time went by, i got eased into it and he, being leo, gave me an ultimatum: i had to admit to myself and him that there is a strong bond between us and he's going to put his all into the relationship and demanded that o do also. there was no other choice that he gave me- he said we were destined to become one. and we did... for 7 yrs.
my point is, because i don't feel feminine, it makes me doubt how i see myself as a woman in relation to men and their expectations. i know that i'm nice looking and i take care of myself but i don't really own it. i'm a libra rising so there's a lot of doubts when it comes to beauty and appearances.
after my husband, i don't try to friend men much anymore. i seek out female friendship and like you, my best friend is a super gay man LOL who's basically like a girl. the great thing about him is, he has a lot of virgo (sun, jupiter, saturn) that it counter balances my gemini sun, mercury, venus. we talk nearly everyday and he's probably the best girl-man friend i've ever had. he even told me that he thinks i'm the best man-girl friend he's ever had (i'm a girl in every way except in thinking) LOL
hey spunkysagit, i can relate. i like being friends with males too. all my planets are masculine with the exception of my pisces moon, taurus mars, and scorpio uranus and i can say, i don't really "feel" feminine even thought i look, act, and sound feminine. the main source of the problem for me is that i definitely don't think feminine. i have gemini in sun, venus, and mercury (neutral but masculine) and not only that, my mercury and venus are conjunct so that's like extra neutrality.
i was friends with a lot of guys but then got really alienated when they wanted more and i didn't. i was friends with my ex-husband before we got together... that was really all i wanted. he was pushing me and wanted a relationship, offered me a lot of love (leo sun) and wanted me badly on all levels. i was hesitant about it for a long time because i didn't want to say yes to him without knowing if i could deliver the same amount of fire back at him. for several months, we were spending a lot of time together, hanging out, talking, and kissed a little. we even slept in the same bed together (clothes on, it wasn't sexual) and developed more closeness. as time went by, i got eased into it and he, being leo, gave me an ultimatum: i had to admit to myself and him that there is a strong bond between us and he's going to put his all into the relationship and demanded that o do also. there was no other choice that he gave me- he said we were destined to become one. and we did... for 7 yrs.
my point is, because i don't feel feminine, it makes me doubt how i see myself as a woman in relation to men and their expectations. i know that i'm nice looking and i take care of myself but i don't really own it. i'm a libra rising so there's a lot of doubts when it comes to beauty and appearances.
after my husband, i don't try to friend men much anymore. i seek out female friendship and like you, my best friend is a super gay man LOL who's basically like a girl. the great thing about him is, he has a lot of virgo (sun, jupiter, saturn) that it counter balances my gemini sun, mercury, venus. we talk nearly everyday and he's probably the best girl-man friend i've ever had. he even told me that he thinks i'm the best man-girl friend he's ever had (i'm a girl in every way except in thinking) LOL
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thespunkysagittarius
Active member
Ummm..... yeah.... I am definitely not a member of the domestic group. In fact, I dont have one domestic fiber in my being, and if I did I have yet to see it manifest. I caught the one step bake cookie on fire, and my sons helped me get dirt from the planter to put it out (good thing they teach you that in school). AND, I never cooked my kids a meal the whole time I raised them. Its sort of a running joke that with my sons about my cooking, they know its something I just don't do.You're pretty funny yourself. Memories from as early as 3 years old, imaginary boyfriends with names, etc
Isn't investment banking male dominated? I briefly considered the life of an i-banker, Venus also rules my 10th, for like 2 days until I realized there are often long and crazy hours. I love my hobbies and leisure time too much. I don't drink, but turning down the bottles and models, just the models, aspect of the i-banker lifestyle was quite painful for about a day.
I suppose i-banking is very fitting of your Taurus Midheaven. Banking and investing it doesn't get anymore Taurean than that.
I can see how you would be toxic for women. It sounds like you're too objective, focused on the task at hand, and solution oriented. I know this because I can be objective and solution oriented myself. Women simply enjoy the process of feeling their emotions too much even when it looks pointless to the rational minds--like your buddies crying about being rejected by men. Some advice I got for these kind of situations is to just shut up and listen for awhile. I have yet to actually sit through and listen to a woman's emotional outburst though. I learned recently that testosterone especially if a man has higher levels makes men disinterested in understanding women's emotions.
Perhaps the lack of compassion is due to that Air Moon. I once read that Geminis are most likely to be serial killers.
How are your cooking and mommying skills? Those are some of the most important feminine skills imo.
When my son, his wife and my grandson come and visit for the weekend, my grandson gets up early in the morning and we walk downstairs to starbucks for breakfast, I get a double espresso and Aiden gets a muffin. Then I usually put him in this jogger cycle thing and I take him on my run.
I worked the whole time I was raising my children (and still do). Because I lived in child custody court for 12 years and on a strict custody arrangement I spent every second I had with my sons. Not on laundry, cleaning or anything like that. I hired someone to do that stuff. Instead, I spent time with my sons, chatting, doing things, taking them places and just being really "present" and "available" to them.
So even though I wasnt domestic outside, I still was very close to my children and very much their mother. When I think about it I would say the "Leo" part of me maybe took over in that area. I have a Leo rising and south node.
thespunkysagittarius
Active member
Soooooo glad someone else feels as I do!LOL gemini as serial killers! i have gemini sun, mercury, venus in the 9th house so i have that combo of gemini-sagittarius personality that comes out and trust me, we're not serial killers. we're not serious enough to even want to commit to killing a fly (most of the time)
hey spunkysagit, i can relate. i like being friends with males too. all my planets are masculine with the exception of my pisces moon, taurus mars, and scorpio uranus and i can say, i don't really "feel" feminine even thought i look, act, and sound feminine. the main source of the problem for me is that i definitely don't think feminine. i have gemini in sun, venus, and mercury (neutral but masculine) and not only that, my mercury and venus are conjunct so that's like extra neutrality.
i was friends with a lot of guys but then got really alienated when they wanted more and i didn't. i was friends with my ex-husband before we got together... that was really all i wanted. he was pushing me and wanted a relationship, offered me a lot of love (leo sun) and wanted me badly on all levels. i was hesitant about it for a long time because i didn't want to say yes to him without knowing if i could deliver the same amount of fire back at him. for several months, we were spending a lot of time together, hanging out, talking, and kissed a little. we even slept in the same bed together (clothes on, it wasn't sexual) and developed more closeness. as time went by, i got eased into it and he, being leo, gave me an ultimatum: i had to admit to myself and him that there is a strong bond between us and he's going to put his all into the relationship and demanded that o do also. there was no other choice that he gave me- he said we were destined to become one. and we did... for 7 yrs.
my point is, because i don't feel feminine, it makes me doubt how i see myself as a woman in relation to men and their expectations. i know that i'm nice looking and i take care of myself but i don't really own it. i'm a libra rising so there's a lot of doubts when it comes to beauty and appearances.
after my husband, i don't try to friend men much anymore. i seek out female friendship and like you, my best friend is a super gay man LOL who's basically like a girl. the great thing about him is, he has a lot of virgo (sun, jupiter, saturn) that it counter balances my gemini sun, mercury, venus. we talk nearly everyday and he's probably the best girl-man friend i've ever had. he even told me that he thinks i'm the best man-girl friend he's ever had (i'm a girl in every way except in thinking) LOL
I also had the same thing happened with my ex-husband, he was a double Libra.
For me, my partner has to be my friend, I have to be able to chat with them and communicate with them, I guess maybe because I have Saturn / moon in Gemini and mercury in sag conjunct 3 other planets in sag. Yeah.... I would say I definitely like to chat. I probably wouldn't do well with a mute!
Hm...my chart is heavily feminine.(MOSTLY earth (and water)).
And I have many aspects...
Now,I can see the feminine energy in me,XD.But I don't think I project it that much(such as appearance) so in my case guys never see me as a potential partner.Not because I act masculine...in fact I act in a rather happy go lucky manner,I'm goofy(always been) and don't particularly flirt.Maybe that could explain it.
And I have many aspects...
Now,I can see the feminine energy in me,XD.But I don't think I project it that much(such as appearance) so in my case guys never see me as a potential partner.Not because I act masculine...in fact I act in a rather happy go lucky manner,I'm goofy(always been) and don't particularly flirt.Maybe that could explain it.