Exhausted - Life at a standstill (career, romance, friendships)

Hi all,

I am writing today because I'm honestly tired. Tired of investing my time into a plethora of things without any tangible results.

1. My career is at a complete standstill. I simply have been unable to make it to the next level. After 7 years of hard work, positive feedbacks, overachievements and even awards, I am still the "junior" on the block when most of my former peers are already at management level in one capacity or another (sometimes with less experience than me). All my applications for managerial roles get rejected despite my good credentials. I simply don't understand. I think I'm in the right industry (finance / banking), but I sometimes think I should just move on (I also have a strong legal background).

2. I sacrificed friendships and romance to focus solely on my career. I haven't been on a single date since January 2017. I've had crushes (including a very strong one in 2019 which has carried on since), but my love life has been frozen since 2017. I kept getting ghosted by all the guys I dated and the date in January 2017 was the last straw after I got ghosted again. I decided to put efforts into this career that has been stuck at junior level for years now. I'm 32 with no prospect of a real relationship at the moment (never been in one anyways).

3. Friendship-wise - I've always been an introvert who enjoys their alone time, but I can easily come across as an extrovert as well because I've no problem chit-chatting with strangers and new people. I tend to be at ease with most people. I had a great year in 2019 when my social life was booming, but COVID simply tarnished it all and now I'm all alone all over again. All the hard work meeting new people etc simply went into thin air.

4. My dad passed away at the end of December 2021 and now I'm feeling the pressure to be responsible for my younger siblings even though I'm far away and they never asked for it. I've literally no one to support me in the process that is growing some form of "personal leadership" because I've no friends or partner and as I explained before, my relationship with my mother is complicated. I've always been the type of person to never ask for help and take care of myself, but taking care of others is foreign to me.

I'm completely confused as to where I'm going at this point. It seems as though everyone wants me to support them out of an empty bucket, but I'm seeing no results and I feel as though I'm doing all of this with no result. It's simply exhausting. I don't know which way to go or what to do.

Any insight would be appreciated.

Samantha Bean said:

Lost,

You have plenty of issues that you could explore, both in your natal chart and in your 2ndary Progressed Return Chart. In the Natal chart I’m pretty sure that the upcoming Yods are worth looking at. Your Saturn Return will be telling you where you should be. Your vocational situation is caused partially because you have chosen to ber concerned about success, when in both your natal chart and your 2ndary progressed chart success takes a back seat to utilization of your strengths and skills and in working conditions.

So we are looking at four areas which would astrology would allow you to explore to get a better handle on where you need to be.

1. Mission in Life
2. Natal chart personality interaction issues
3. Natal and 2ndary progressed Return charts in regards to vocational direction
4. 2ndary Progressed Return Chart Challenges at this time in your life.

The question is really whether you are looking for some quick tips which you can discard when the current crises is over(probably brought on by your mother and your father’s passing), or whether you want to commit to a long term working through these issues using either astrology or cognitive behavioral therapy.

This has to be a hard decision for you to make at this time.

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Thank you, Samantha. I appreciate you taking the time to look into this chart.

My Saturn Return has already taken place. The last bit of that transit occurred in 2020. It was very eventful, taught me a lot and propelled me into a new chapter of my life on a personal growth level.

In my opinion, it is only fair to focus on success because even though a chart might indicate utilizing inner power instead of focusing on outer success, in reality, things translate differently in real life. Success is important to me in all honesty. I know I should focus on my inner strengths, but this is not my priority at the moment. I'm looking for ways to bring tangible results. Life is about a balance of both inner peace and outer success. Right now, my focus is on being successful and finding ways to create a solid support system. There is no shame in that.

CBT therapy is a different topic altogether. I already have an appointment booked, but I suppose I'm looking for answers as to why things are the way they are and whether any improvement is in the cards.

Hi LostinPhilly,


you are still young- only 31 years old – and compared with a more than 70 years old person still not out of own unsolved father issues – for you the world is still open and life has still all chances available for you - and to find- what you are looking for - as you anyway will not give up before -as a strong scorpio nature person.

Transits on natal planets are real to real – and always show the energies actually challenging you but also supporting you.

Sorry for the loss of your Dad – this is always a hard and sad cut in own life.Especially as your 5th house – male active principle sun house and for me also house of father and father experience in childhood- father as first male gender support for a man or as first inner picture of a man- a woman is looking for in a partner in later life - is full placed with 3 personal planets in intercepted scorpio with a strong placed pluto in fix sign scorpio as well. And venus as main ruler of 5th in scorpio, too.

But this is a very intense, persisting and never giving up survival energy power for achieving own will and own goals - to go thru all upto own limits and beyond and to stand up like a phoenix from ashes - even stronger than before.

And with intercepted scorpio in 5th- you already had to develop early in childhood – fine prewarning antennas for self-protection - in an own secrete protected little world under the surface –not talking to others about it and not showing it to the outside – to protect yourself and your own life - with sun 5th ruling your 2nd house – selfprotection and safety.

But of this strong survival and subconsciously guiding you energy under the surface - you can make use of for a coming out - if your natal pluto is transit-activated.

And this will happen first was on March 16/17,2022 by transit saturn and afterwards by transit uranus in your 11th house by opposition from 06/25/2022 until 04/15/2023 for a complete turn around in your life and for a coming out of your own true being.

But for how to interprete your male active principle 5th house – it is important to know – whether you are female or male.

LostinPhilly said:

My career is at a complete standstill. I simply have been unable to make it to the next level. After 7 years of hard work, positive feedbacks, overachievements and even awards, I am still the "junior" on the block when most of my former peers are already at management level in one capacity or another (sometimes with less experience than me).
All my applications for managerial roles get rejected despite my good credentials. I simply don't understand. I think I'm in the right industry (finance / banking), but I sometimes think I should just move on (I also have a strong legal background).

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7 years talks about saturn - known as the Lord of (right) time– and not being successful is always a sign of own soul that you might not be on your right path of evolving yourself.

Your 6th house work is in sag- ruled by jupiter as the traditional 9th house ruler in natural zodiac. In your 6th house your uranus and your neptune is in – neptune ruling your 10th house, life path direction, evolving yourself and your vocation and career.

Uranus rules your 9th house – higher education, house of lawyers, legal matters and house of teachers – being a legal voice /lawyer (saturn sextiling your mercury and your pluto in 5th ) or a teacher/coach for others – you want to realise in your 6th house – with uranus in- by own work.

Your neptune is at apex of your double Grand Yod - or your 2 Grand Yods – called the Finger of God – with jupiter in 2nd and mars in 11th house. And your mars in 12th house ruling your 11th house- social commitment and to serve the Grand Whole is at apex of the second Grand Yod – with your neptune in 6th house and your scorpio sun in 5th house.

Having all together and at same time been first activated by transit saturn and afterwards by transit uranus for a severe change in your life with t- uranus opposing scorpio sun– transits not all yet ended – as t-uranus is actually only on 11°taurus and will end it's opposition on your sun on 04/11/2022.

Having 4 planets and all their house and life-themes- double transit activated same time – including chiron in 10th house squared by transit neptune same time -can really get overwhelming and exhausting – even for a strong scorpio personality - looking for deep transformation experiences.

As transits interrupt for a while the well known energy flow- you are used to from birth on – and one can feel kinda lost in the beginning and not knowing anymore what is going on – not even understanding oneself.


From 05/19/2022 until 01/03/2023 your fated northnode in aquarius in 8th house will be transit activated by jupiter in aries in your 10th house by sextile- jupiter as your work house ruler. 8th house among others - your genetic heritage from family members and ancestors and your inherited gift potential.


And transit jupiter afterwards will support you and your natal uranus as your 9th house ruler - house of lawyers - with additional square energy from 06/23/2022 until 02/05/2023 - opening up 9th house matters.

Samantha Bean said:

The question is really

whether you are looking for some quick tips which you can discard when the current crises is over(probably brought on by your mother and your father’s passing),

or

whether you want to commit to a long term working through these issues using either astrology or cognitive behavioral therapy.

This has to be a hard decision for you to make at this time.

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My first comment is that you must not know LostInPhilly at all or you would know that she does not look for quick tips to discard when it suits her.

My second comment she has no hard decision to make between two such extreme options as "quick tips" or long term therapy. I have nothing against the suggestion that therapy might be helpful, and it would seem LostInPhilly is engaging that option.

I would also add that there is a big world out there, beyond what you and I know, and that there are an array of possibilities that might be useful as she explores approaches to the challenges in her life.

LostInPhilly, with your Merc in deep penetrating Scorpio ruling the 4th of homelife, family, father, I have every confidence that you will slowly and carefully find your way through this matter with your family. I send loving support to you in that effort.

Samantha Bean said:

Seeing how I offered a lot more, and she did not get back to me, I would not know that.

I offered:

1. Mission in Life
2. Natal chart personality interaction issues
3. Natal and 2ndary progressed Return charts in regards to vocational direction
4. 2ndary Progressed Return Chart Challenges at this time in your life.

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But this was not what OP has asked for. And this is your last post - you ended here and left - after OP has replied to you.

Samantha Bean said:

Good Luck to you. I hope you find what you need.

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And how could you look into her 2ndary progressed chart for your “diagnose” without having her birtdata and birth location ?

Samantha Bean said:

Your Saturn Return will be telling you where you should be. Your vocational situation is caused partially because you have chosen to ber concerned about success, when in both your natal chart and your 2ndary progressed chart success takes a back seat to utilization of your strengths and skills and in working conditions.

Click to expand...

In truth - you have offered nothing here. You've only talked about what you would do - and then left.

And if one has a look at your postings on this forum - one can't find a post where you analyze a chart for OP - to be of help.

You more come "to teach" and to tell general stuff and what one could do and often for telling that you don't want to spend that much time and how money expensive in $ this would be - in reality.

And to use the chance on other’s topics - to talk about your own father issues - who disowned and disinherited you - you nearly committed suicide- but showing same time that you still not have solved your own personal issues and stuff yet - with more than 70 years of age now. Although you use your famous secondary and tertiary progression charts.


So why insisting on others to do it your way - what didn't even helped you ?

Thank you so much Zora and Ilene! I truly appreciate your insights and kind words. I really hope I will eventually manage to navigate this situation.

Zora: I am a woman.

Your post is incredibly interesting, especially the part about "self-protection" from a very young age. I learned to protect myself because I grew up with a highly abusive mother and I had to learn to build an armor. I had to learn to tap into my inner strength to "survive" because her behaviour towards me was highly damaging. My dad and I were very close on the other hand. We didn't agree on everything, but we had a strong bond.

I also think that I have a lot of inner strength and people generally see me as a strong person, but I do lack assertiveness (for instance at work where I don't vocalize my ambitions or ask for a promotion or applying for jobs that I truly deserve). I don't put myself out there at all as I generally prefer discretion and therefore have a huge amount of leadership and strength that is not being utilize on any front other than the personal front. I'm a very confident person and secure within myself, but I have a huge issue showcasing myself.

Death will always push you to question your life, but in my case, I stifled in all areas of my life. I'm overworked in a job where I'm overqualified, I'm having to cater and support my abusive mother over my dad's death and taking care of his estate and doing all this alone with no one to support me emotionally. I'm basically pouring out of an empty bucket to support everyone, but no one is returning any favour. All I do is absorb, absorb.

I sometimes feel as though I am destined for something "bigger" (don't we all?!), but I also do enjoy the industry I work in. I work in finance and find it interesting, except the role I am in is not exactly the one I dreamed of. Maybe I should have pursued a career in the field I was trained in (i.e. law), but since I could not find a job that field, it was a dead-end. I often think of what I would do if I didn't work in my current field and the truth is I do not know myself. I hope the Jupiter in the 10th house transit will provide more clarification / opportunities (instead of simply increasing my workload at my current job)).

I'd say the hard transits started last year. I had my Saturn Return between 2019-2020 and things have been quite stressful ever since my Saturn Return ended. I'm hoping the "turnaround" of my life you mentioned via the Uranus transit will be a positive one, because I currently live in a permanent state of anxiety and I don't think I can take much more at this point. As you pointed out, I do not even understand myself anymore.

Samantha Bean said:

Good points. Perhaps you will respond in your inimitable way. We all have to choose how and if we will respond. I offered how. It was how I would respond to her question. No reason for you to obsess over how I respond or don’t respond. Surely you have better things to do with your time.

I was not taken up on it, so I did not apply it. I talked about what I could do, not what I would do. Lost would have had to agreed to it since my style required her to interact with me. I don’t do readings and walk away.

And of course, without a birth time, I could not do that---except that LIP has probalby posted her actual birth chart deep in the archives, I suspect. I could have looked, or she could have PM’d me the birth data if that was the way she wanted to go.

Its really not my fault if you don’t understand how the astrology I offered would answer her question. That’s your issue to figure out. I wasn’t planning on teaching you too. Do you want to sign up for a class?

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Samantha,

To be honest, I did not understand your first post. It didn't not seem overly clear to me that you were offering insight into any of the 4 points you listed. Since your closing paragraph related to making a decision between "quick tips" or "therapy", I did not realize you were offering any help in regards to the chart itself.

Then after I responded saying I wanted insights into my current situation via the chart I posted in the OP, you responded "Good luck to you", which to me sounded like a really dry way to cut the conversation short. This is the reason why I never came back to this thread afterwards because I felt as though your second post wishing me good luck was quite dismissive and I assumed no one else was going to look into it. Perhaps it wasn't, but that's how I interpreted it since it was your only sentence. This is my personal perspective. Thanks for your clarification.

Samantha Bean said:

The offer is still on the table. But the unresolved issues that have gotten you into the situation you are in now, cannot be resolved with a couple of quick answers. I took the time to look at your struggles with your mother and you struggles in finding a legal job despite your law degree that are in the archives. Your actual chart is in the archives I believe(although, I have looked at so many charts since then(2-28-22), I am not 100% sure).

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Thank you, Samantha. This is very much appreciated.

I posted my birth chart above if it is of any help.

I agree that the issues that have gotten me into this particular situation will need more than a couple of answers on a natal chart and I have taken personal steps to best navigate the situation. However, a few chart-related insights would certainly be appreciated, at least to understand my own path a little bit more.

All,

I've moved an off topic discussion about providing birth data. It's now another thread. Please use this thread to address the OP's Read My Chart question. Go to the other thread if you want to take up the other line of discussion.

Stay on topic,
Osamenor

Samantha: Per your PM, you don't "read" nor "provide tips"?! Then why make those offers? It's not fair on the person asking the question, because those who can actually provide an insight decide not to because there's supposedly already an "offer on the table".

Zora: As much as I appreciate your insights, I opened up in my response to your perspective and you didn't even address the response. All you did was corner me over the fact I supposedly already had an offer from a previous unrelated thread that was a synastry chart. That's not nice at all.

I'm not sure what this website has turned to, but it seems to have changed. Not good. People come here for help and if you don't want to help, there is absolutely no problem. However, this is not way to treat someone who simply asked for help.