The Meaning of 7th House Cancer in 3rd House

mister_hank

Well-known member
Hello...

Can anyone tell me the true meaning of this placement?

I haven't been in a romantic relationship for years and yet I feel like all my relationships are either derailed or diminished. To this day, I'm still single. and afraid of romantic commitment.

I know what the meaning of it is...but I'm looking for a second opinion from someone here.
 

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Osamenor

Staff member
Is your fear of commitment mostly about wanting to be free to date others, not tied down to one person? Or is it more about fear of intimacy, of becoming too close?

Your chart might indicate either or both of those things. What it really is depends on how you're experiencing it.
 

mister_hank

Well-known member
It's not that I want to date more than one person (I wish I could, but couldn't), it's more of an independence issue. I want to commit to romance, but I am more commited to my personal freedom/independence.

I value my freedom more than anything because I never got it from my past life.

I want to be romantically involved.....but i'm afraid that if I do, I lose my freedom/independence. I don't want to lose my freedom.

I just have difficult experiences with social interaction.
 

Osamenor

Staff member
BUMP. Still waiting on response....for conversation....
Sometimes you have to wait more than 24 hours. People can't necessarily be online all the time. I certainly can't.
It's not that I want to date more than one person (I wish I could, but couldn't), it's more of an independence issue. I want to commit to romance, but I am more commited to my personal freedom/independence.
That conflict is very evident in your chart. Pisces moon wants to merge, let go, and be free--free to merge, not just with one person, but with everyone. Sometimes seventh house ruler in the third and/or Mercury in the seventh manifests as a desire for multiple partners. But then, Capricorn and Cancer tend to be stable and committed signs, and Cancer in particular wants security. If those are your rising and descending signs, in some order, chances are you want the stability and security of committed monogamy.

So, I would imagine that you desire multiple partners in fantasy but consider monogamy the best option in reality. In reality, you would probably do well in a monogamous relationship while getting your need for variety met by having multiple platonic friends at varying levels of emotional intimacy.

But there's also another major conflict here: your need for freedom and independence and self development, self space, with desire for a relationship. Capricorn is the archetypal hermit. Capricorn rising people need their own space, and usually need to be very, very comfortable with someone in order to become emotionally or physically intimate--which, in reality, means intimacy doesn't come easily. Add a Leo sun to that mix--which, if Capricorn is rising, is usually in the very private eighth house, as yours is--and your life path is all about personal growth, personality development to the fullest. Your rising sign gives you the space to develop as a hermit (even if you're not literally a hermit, there are likely parts of your life that are very hermit-like), and has you approaching others not as an instantly roaring lion, but like a shy kitty-cat who has to cautiously check out the scene first.

Pisces is also a very escapist sign. Add Pisces moon to that mix, and you probably need a lot of time alone to indulge your art, fantasy, or whatever it is that feeds your soul. That Leo/Pisces combination is likely very creative and artistic.

And then, your chart shows a tendency to idealize romantic relationships, in such a way that real ones are unlikely to measure up. Venus trine Neptune creates easy-flowing synergy between romantic Venus and idealistic Neptune (sun and Jupiter also trine Neptune, making this even stronger). Neptune idealizes, romanticizes, and fantasizes, and Venus happily indulges that idealization in matters of romance. Neptune can also bring a very overwhelming urge to merge, to the point that you likely feel you're losing your own self. When Neptune is in a tight aspect with the sun--and yours form an exact trine--it can feel like you're hardly there to begin with. You may feel like you have to cling desperately to your individuality at all costs--and since your Neptune is also in that close energy exchange with Venus, relationships become the main thing you perceive as a threat to your individuality.

I value my freedom more than anything because I never got it from my past life.
What makes you say you never got it from your past life?
 

Osamenor

Staff member
Simply put. I have had a rough life in the foster care system when I was in my teens.

So you meant "past life" in the sense of your past in this lifetime, not as in reincarnation?

I interpreted that phrasing as a reference to reincarnation, and thought maybe you were interpreting your chart that way.
 

mister_hank

Well-known member
So you meant "past life" in the sense of your past in this lifetime, not as in reincarnation?

Yes. That is what happened to me in my past life in my lifetime. No reincarnation.

Unless you want to tell me who was I before I was born. Being curious and all.

Seriously, in my past life (in this lifetime), I have had a rough life that started back in 1988-1989. I was in a vicious cycle of neglect, abuse, assault, torment, and trauma. Sometimes I wish i can give you a list of incidents that occur in my teen life. But my memory is cloudy at best (also difficult to discuss).

Over the years (in my 20s at that time and I was in an adult home [residential hospital-required to have a roommate] throughout), I have made my vow that I will go to great lengths to isolate myself. Even it meant that I had to stay out at night, sleep all day, rebel against medical staff, anything I can do to annoy them just to get them to understand that I dislike the stressful environment.

That lasted for almost 16 years (2000-2016 [First 12 years in Queens before moving to Staten Island after Hurricane Sandy for 4 more years]) until finally I have my own apartment and I don't have to put up with the stresses of life in an residential hospital (aka Adult Home).

Throughout my 16 years, I've seen, and shared a room with, so many tolerable (and sometimes unstable) people in my life. I felt as if I'm fated with people that are unpredictable....and it scared me. So I developed a rebellious streak. Some residents (and staff) didn't like that, but they're willing to put up with it.

Now that I have my own apartment (in Staten Island), I get to have a life that I always wanted. Personal privacy. No Roommates. No Nursing Staff annoying me. No Stress. And I loving every single minute of it.

@Osamenor: I hope my back story makes sense to you. If not, at least I tried to make sense. I may have trouble with communication.
 

katydid

Well-known member
You can have a relationship but do not move in together. You do need your independence for now because it has been a long time coming.

But can you socialize? Are there group events with people from y0ur past group home? Someone who might understand you and appreciate why you need some solitude in your own place?
 

mister_hank

Well-known member
@Katydid: I'm not good at socializing. As much as I try to socialize, it's difficult. I'm always the listening (and silent) type.

The only time I visit people from my past is only during the holidays (Thanksgiving/Christmas).

Otherwise, I have two separate Case Managers that come to the apartment every 2 weeks and visit me to see how I'm doing, have small conversation, and sometimes ask if I need anything for my apartment. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Overall, it's a welfare check.

The two separate Case Managers are the only people in my life (them and my male friend [formerly a Child Care Supervisor turned Lawyer] who lives in Manhattan) who understood me and my acceptance (with slight reluctance) for solitude.
 

Osamenor

Staff member
Yes. That is what happened to me in my past life in my lifetime. No reincarnation.

Unless you want to tell me who was I before I was born. Being curious and all.

Can't do that, at least not reliably. There are past life indicators in a natal chart, but they don't necessarily tell us who you were in previous lifetimes (assuming previous lifetimes exist--not everyone would assume that). The south node, its ruler (Pisces has two rulers to consider, Neptune as the modern ruler and Jupiter as the traditional one), and any aspects involving the node or ruler, give us the outline for a past life story. Take some creative license with those, and we can come up with a plausible story of who you might have been and what happened to the past version(s) of you that's left for you to work out in this life.

I used to read charts a lot for that, and found that if I came up with the right past life story, it bore a strong resemblance to the native's current life--at least to the earlier part of their current life. By the time people reach their late thirties to early forties, their life story usually has more of the north node in it, but earlier, it looks more south node. There might be hints of the north node in your life when you're younger, but typically, you're still living out a lot of south node stuff.

And to complicate things, lots of charts have some mingling of north and south node indicators: the ruler of one node with the opposite one, for instance. You have Jupiter in the same house as your north node, which connects it to both where you're coming from (south node ruler) and where you're going to (with the north node).

All of that is to say, your current life story is enough to tell us what your nodes are telling you. Everything you shared--the isolation, the abuse, the being kept out of the world--matches your south node indications.

Simply put, south node in Pisces indicates being removed from the world in some way. North node in Virgo indicates a need to come back into the world. Second house south node adds some more detail: security, issues around security, were a big part of the picture. Often, a second house south node indicates a past of either extreme poverty or extreme wealth. Whether you were poor (I would guess that you were, since rich kids don't often land in the foster system) or rich, money, who has it, who doesn't, who controls it, what you (or your parents) have to do for it... that's a big part of the picture.

One ruler of your south node is in the twelfth house, the other in the eighth. Those are the secretive houses. The most negative interpretations of those houses (when we're looking for problems associated with the south node, we look for negative meanings of the placements), are some of the worst possible things: death, abuse, particularly sexual or psychological abuse (eighth house); isolation, addiction, illness, particularly mental illness, dissociative states (twelfth house; Pisces also has those associations).

Those houses are also, if we look for the positive meanings, very rich. Eighth house in particular (which I want to focus on here because you not only have your north node in the eighth, you also have your sun and a stellium there) holds a lot of power. You're an eighth house Leo: you need to claim your own power. North node in Virgo in the eighth tells you how: you need to come back into the world. Establish routines. Take care of your health.

I would also associate alternative healing methods--things like hypnosis and herbal medicine and shamanic cures and traditional practices (every culture has its own traditional medicine, involving various forms of ritual and usually herbs)--with the eighth house. If you know, or can discover, anything about traditional healing in whatever culture you or your ancestors came from--or, barring that, simply whatever of those methods are available to you--that might be a great help.

Back (sort of) to your original question: seventh house isn't just what you need from a partner, it's also what you need from others in general. Cancer is very nurturing, gentle, and security-oriented. The people who can help you most are those who can hold space for you, and help you re-enter the world in a nurturing way.
 
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