Am I destined to be friendless?

Hi all, new here, but what brought me here was to ask about my lack of friendships and seeking some insight from the astrology perspective. I've become pretty depressed about it actually some hoping to get help

My DOB is 7/1/82, born at 8:47 am in Northern New Jersey. I have no real friends at this point in my life. This seems to be an ongoing problem for me throughout most of my life. When I did have what I deemed "real" friendships, it was when I was a kid and I always seemed to lose friends, either because they moved (one of the most common reasons actually) or because they would abandon our friendship for someone else, I guess you could say. For example, if I was friends with 2 people who weren't already friends, they'd become friends and not want to be my friend anymore. Or when my bff of 8 years in HS decided to suddenly hang out with my ex boyfriend when we broke up, leaving me in the dust and getting cozy with him. Ever since then, I've been able to meet people and have them as acquaintances, whether through work, school, etc., sometimes hanging out a bit, but that's it. It's just cordial really.

When I was a kid, I was extremely shy so it was not easy making friends generally. Starting in my 20s, I came out of my shell more but I still can be a little reserved in that department even in my 30s. When people do actually get to know me, things seem fine, but there's nothing that goes beyond that. I've chalked part of that up to the fact that by a certain age, people have already established friends that they are comfortable with.

I am married but because the marriage isn't doing well, I don't really feel my husband is like a friend, not one I can talk to about everything anyway. I mean in a way, but not the same as having "girlfriends" or anything like that. I also have a child in school and I find the same thing with the moms at the school. Acquaintances at most. Everyone already seems to know each other, especially because it's a pretty small public school and people are cliquey. My job at the moment is not what I really want to do and it is not a place to make friends. So I'm a bit stuck there too.

I know in my chart that my sun is in my 11th house of friendship, which my parents, who have always been into Astrology, have said is a good thing, but it doesn't seem good for me if I sit here with no friends. I mean I can make acquaintances easy because I'm friendly actually, but like I said, it doesn't go beyond there. I don't know a ton about Astrology besides the basics really so maybe there's some bad aspect in there stopping things? If there is, is there anything to combat it? I've been pretty depressed about it because I feel I have no one to talk to or do things with, and the fact that I don't drive because of a past medical condition isn't helping since I can't get around by myself to get to things.

Any insight would be helpful. Thank you.

Hello there, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. It sounds like socially things are difficult for you.

Firstly, I wouldn't say that Sun in the 11th is a "lucky" placement. In fact, I'd say that for the Sun, it's more of a 'blah' placement. The Sun is ruled by Leo, so when it sits in the house ruled by it's opposite sign (Aquarius), it kind of loses its edge. I have my sun in the 11th as well. Having the Sun there really means that friendships are very important to you. You consider them to be a big part of who you are. This is why, when a person with this placement doesn't have those meaningful connections, they tend to feel so depressed or out of place. And I sympathize with you for that. When I'm not able to connect to my friends I get very depressed because they are such an important part of my life. That's what having your Sun in the 11th kind of does.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I've looked at the rest of your chart a bit. From a glance, it's clear that you are, and have been, shy. Your Sun sits in Cancer and your Moon in Scorpio (in the 4th house, no less). To me, that indicates someone who is incredibly private, cautious, and generally reserved. You are most comfortable at home and whatnot.

I think the issue may lie in the dichotomy between your Ascendant and your Sun/Moon. What caught my attention was when you said, towards the end, "I mean I can make acquaintances easy because I'm friendly actually, but like I said, it doesn't go beyond there." This made way more sense once I saw your chart. Your Ascendant is in Leo, and it forms a square to your Moon in Scorpio. So, I think what's happening is that people are seeing you as more outgoing than you really are because when they first meet you they see your Leo Ascendant, but in reality you're a lot more private than they first thought. This can be an issue for many people with Moon/Ascendant squares. They come off as one thing then turn out to be another.

So, to recap: You have your Sun in the 11th which means connections to others, especially friendships, are incredibly important to you, and you seek them out actively. Not only this, but you tend to come across as being very outgoing, generous, and very open, due to your Leo Ascendant. But, at your core, you are very reserved and private, due to your Cancer Sun and Scorpio Moon in the 4th, which might be catching people off guard, causing them to kind of step back a bit. Your shy nature clashes with your desire to connect to others on a deeper level.

I could suggest working to open yourself up more. It would be uncomfortable, but taking a step to be more emotionally vulnerable may improve things in the long run. That's about all I have for you at the moment. I really hope you can find a solution to this!!