lisahearts
Well-known member
Is College even for me? Help 
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Is College even for me? Help
- Thread starter lisahearts
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ukdesifem
Well-known member
I think academia can suit you, given your TN in 9th and conjunct MC and Pluto. Sag MC generally means higher learning or leadership in thought/learning.
Plus you have a double water trine. I think nursing could suit you, though perhaps teaching health topics given your 9th house placements.
Venus in Cancer is also in the 6th so some kind of helping profession is seen imho.
Plus you have a double water trine. I think nursing could suit you, though perhaps teaching health topics given your 9th house placements.
Venus in Cancer is also in the 6th so some kind of helping profession is seen imho.
lisahearts
Well-known member
Is Saturn in anyway in conflict with higher learning? It squares jupiter, which I've heard, isn't very good
LaraGOLD
Active member
If you think your dad as more of an authority figure then look at your Saturn. Saturn does square your Sun which probably means your dad feels ashamed of you, you feel guilty and scared of authoritative people, like your dad. He doesn't understand you at all and feels threatened by you. And also because of that he manipulates you, but not direct confrontation.
Because you are like a shameful burden to him. Your dad is quite controlling of your appearance to others, Saturn in 1st house, he criticizes your physical appearance. But you don't really care about that, that is not the real you, and that's one of the reason why he is so distant from you.
Every time you express your self naturally, you know your dad will disapprove and so you may have to think carefully before self-expressing your opinion, or don't say it at all.
Am I right? I have 4th house sun opp Saturn so the situation is kind of different, but the effects are the same. I know that feeling of not being able to even speak your mind or do what you want even when you are at home, and especially at home. My family is quite patriarchal, my mother and siblings is afraid of him too, both of us suffered. We try not to make him angry by suppressing our opinions, so helpless, but it will blow one day.
Because you are like a shameful burden to him. Your dad is quite controlling of your appearance to others, Saturn in 1st house, he criticizes your physical appearance. But you don't really care about that, that is not the real you, and that's one of the reason why he is so distant from you.
Every time you express your self naturally, you know your dad will disapprove and so you may have to think carefully before self-expressing your opinion, or don't say it at all.
Am I right? I have 4th house sun opp Saturn so the situation is kind of different, but the effects are the same. I know that feeling of not being able to even speak your mind or do what you want even when you are at home, and especially at home. My family is quite patriarchal, my mother and siblings is afraid of him too, both of us suffered. We try not to make him angry by suppressing our opinions, so helpless, but it will blow one day.
Oddity
Well-known member
The ninth house rules higher education, and the ruler of your ninth house is Mars in Taurus, where it's detrimented. Mars also rules the second house, your money, so I expect it's doing you no favours there. And it's in rather a nasty sextile to your moon/Mercury conjunction.
University is probably not the best place for you, but - how much longer do you have to struggle through to finish the degree? If you can do it in another six months or so, I'd say hang in there, if it's going to take years, then it probably isn't worth the trouble.
With a fourth house sun (your marriage partner) trining your ascendant, and that moon/Merc (quite good on its own, and the moon is well-dignified in Cancer) in the fifth - housewife and mother would not be the worst call you could make, by far.
If that's what is going to make you happy - by all means, do it, and don't feel bad about doing it.
University is probably not the best place for you, but - how much longer do you have to struggle through to finish the degree? If you can do it in another six months or so, I'd say hang in there, if it's going to take years, then it probably isn't worth the trouble.
With a fourth house sun (your marriage partner) trining your ascendant, and that moon/Merc (quite good on its own, and the moon is well-dignified in Cancer) in the fifth - housewife and mother would not be the worst call you could make, by far.
If that's what is going to make you happy - by all means, do it, and don't feel bad about doing it.
lisahearts
Well-known member
Wow, you explained it so well.. I never understood why he treated me differently from my siblings! They'll say something.. I say the same exact thing, he gets very angry, sometimes even threatening to hurt me or kick me out... and the things that set him off are so stupid, the other day he nearly hit me and yelled and cursed up a storm and told me he hated me because He told my mother she never teaches the kids to cook, I said " she taught me to cook rice and beans once"... BOOM, it was hell from there. You said you and your mother can ignore it and try to stay away?
Well for me it's hard because look at the things that set him off, I'm so confused it hurts, he can ask me to get something and I respond "Where is it" and that can turn to hell... and it's only me!
My senior year of high school, he asked me to put his shoes away, I accidentally put them in the wrong closet. He was furious, I said "I forgot".. it became hell, he screamed and said he hated me and he threatened to not show up to my graduation, he called his family and told them "she will be the reason I leave my wife and family"_______ whatt? He even told me once that I wasn't attractive, randomly , he knocked on my room door, I opened it, he said , "you know people can look at you and tell you don't have down syndrome but you are not even very attractive"____ that hurts because I already struggle with self esteem issues, but many people have told me I was beautiful, so maybe My father just hates me, I don't get it, perhaps I remind him of someone from his past... or maybe it's because Im the only one who can see through his yelling and tell he's just a controlling insecure man, and perhaps he can sense that I understand that...
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Osamenor
Staff member
I don't think astrology will ever tell you anything that cut and dried. For this purpose, logic and psychology can answer that question. Your father's behavior is the best indicator of how he'll treat you in the future... leopards don't change their spots... so, yes, you'll probably keep having problems with him until you get away from him for good.
Men as a whole... if your experience of men is based on an abusive father, it's not surprising that you'd have problems with men, real and/or perceived. Not all men are abusive. Many are not. But for you to believe that, you would have to come to know truly good men, and do enough healing of yourself that you would be open to them.
On an astrological note, everything in your birth chart represents many different things at once. Saturn square your sun may indicate your awful father being a major obstacle, but Saturn also has other meanings. It also indicates the part of your own psyche that brings self discipline, drive, boundaries.... In that respect, Saturn can help save you. Setting boundaries and defending them is certainly a necessary part of escaping abuse. In your first house, its message is for your sense of self and how you present yourself to the world.
lisahearts
Well-known member
Im pretty sure House wife wouldn't work for me, only because my 7th house is empty and controlled by my sun, which is square Saturn, Im horrible at relationships because im such an introvert, I don't even have friends.
SkuttleStar
Well-known member
I feel like the realities of what's going on here will not really be so clear in your chart.
Because it's really obvious- your parents are the reason you are not excelling in school. If you were in a separate environment- saying going to a small school in the mountains with your own cabin- you would likely excel in school. But with this verbal abuse going around, you are unable to focus on your school-work. Therefore you are taking a long time, and wasting a ton of money on something you are unable to give 100% to based on your environment.
You've ALMOST got you AA, that's not too shabby, tbh. My advice as a post-degree (in econ) and independent-adult, and not an astrology-- is to drop out. Purely economically- college debt is serious, life ruining stuff. You really don't want to mess around with college in our hike in tuition. For your financial security later in life- drop out for the moment. I suggest highly working full time at your job- or keep it part time and look hard for a better job- maybe like a receptionist for a private physician- something close to your field ideally- but really one that pays more. Work full time, and keep your part time job cuz if you must because then you spend less time getting mentally harassed at home and more time making money. Get savings together and move the heck out of there. From there you could actually finish taking your AA courses. If you got to switch to a cheaper college to afford it- do it just get the AA down.
Also this is some very good long-term advice for your position right now. As you will find if you can get a job even as a receptionist in the health field- you will have an enormous leg up after you graduate on many new-grads who haven't had a proper job yet. You'll be more employable if you exchange work for school right now and return to school when you're not being mentally suffocated.
Also, give your dad a break- i know it's hard, but cut it for him. He did care for you as a baby- he does love you. He's obviously just as upset as you are cuz he's made you feel this way.
Because it's really obvious- your parents are the reason you are not excelling in school. If you were in a separate environment- saying going to a small school in the mountains with your own cabin- you would likely excel in school. But with this verbal abuse going around, you are unable to focus on your school-work. Therefore you are taking a long time, and wasting a ton of money on something you are unable to give 100% to based on your environment.
You've ALMOST got you AA, that's not too shabby, tbh. My advice as a post-degree (in econ) and independent-adult, and not an astrology-- is to drop out. Purely economically- college debt is serious, life ruining stuff. You really don't want to mess around with college in our hike in tuition. For your financial security later in life- drop out for the moment. I suggest highly working full time at your job- or keep it part time and look hard for a better job- maybe like a receptionist for a private physician- something close to your field ideally- but really one that pays more. Work full time, and keep your part time job cuz if you must because then you spend less time getting mentally harassed at home and more time making money. Get savings together and move the heck out of there. From there you could actually finish taking your AA courses. If you got to switch to a cheaper college to afford it- do it just get the AA down.
Also this is some very good long-term advice for your position right now. As you will find if you can get a job even as a receptionist in the health field- you will have an enormous leg up after you graduate on many new-grads who haven't had a proper job yet. You'll be more employable if you exchange work for school right now and return to school when you're not being mentally suffocated.
Also, give your dad a break- i know it's hard, but cut it for him. He did care for you as a baby- he does love you. He's obviously just as upset as you are cuz he's made you feel this way.
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Osamenor
Staff member
Re: Is College even for me? Help
@lisahearts: I had a similar struggle, and I got my degree only because I did an alternative, very hands-on kind of program. Thinking of chart factors that may be involved... I believe the ninth house ruler plays a part, as Oddity pointed out, and Jupiter has to do with your approach to learning no matter which houses it rules.
I have my ninth house cusp in Virgo. That makes it ruled by Mercury, and my Mercury is domiciled in Virgo and the final dispositor of everything in my chart except the sun. However, I can see a Virgo Mercury being, possibly, physical rather than mental, or physical and mental. Plus, my Mercury is in the eighth house. From the perspective of traditional astrology, at least, that may be considered a detriment... if Oddity, our resident traditional astrologer, has any corrections or expansions on that, I'd love to hear it!
For you, the ninth house ruler is in a fall sign... but also a very physical sign, and a very tenacious sign, too. Perhaps that gives you a more hands-on approach to learning. Maybe you need to do things in order to learn them, rather than read or hear about them. If that's so, and if your college program is the traditional lecture-exam-write papers kind, with little or no hands-on experience involved, that just won't work for you. You need something much more experiential. Meanwhile, the tenaciousness of that Taurus Mars contributes to you not wanting to give up.
Now, Jupiter: you and I both have Jupiter retrograde. I suppose that might serve to create a need for learning to be personally meaningful, not just out in the open with full recognition, and perhaps a difference in how learning takes place. While your Jupiter is close enough to the ninth house cusp for a conjunction, it's in the eighth and retrograding back, so it has a very eighth house message about it.
I'm curious, now, to learn more about what the eighth house might mean for learning. I certainly see parallels between your struggle and mine, and we both have some eighth house highlights in that picture.
We might also take it to mean that you need to learn eighth house sorts of things, in an eighth house kind of way. That might mean making some unusual leaps and connections (Karl Jung, of collective unconscious fame, had some significant eighth house placements). That might mean a draw to psychology, or healing arts, or sociology, or the occult... even astrology!
Since your Jupiter is in Scorpio, that adds to the eighth house/Scorpionic kind of message. And, if we add modern planets to the mix, your ninth house has two rulers. Pluto is the modern ruler of Scorpio, and it sits right in the ninth house, domiciled. Your Pluto is very strong.
I would interpret that as another sign that, while traditional learning may not work very well for you (traditional ruler in detriment), a different kind of learning would probably work very, very well, but it might be hard to find. Pluto rules the hidden things, the underworld.
I don't think she's said how close she is to her degree. And if it's an AA she's pursuing, she's attending a community college--the only kind that would offer that degree--and community college is the cheapest possible kind. Furthermore, receptionist might not be the appropriate job for her, or the appropriate way in. We don't even know if the health field is right for her, or just her first guess. She may not even have that figured out at this point.
That may be so. It also may be that the OP's learning style doesn't mesh well with college, or with this particular college environment.
@lisahearts: I had a similar struggle, and I got my degree only because I did an alternative, very hands-on kind of program. Thinking of chart factors that may be involved... I believe the ninth house ruler plays a part, as Oddity pointed out, and Jupiter has to do with your approach to learning no matter which houses it rules.
I have my ninth house cusp in Virgo. That makes it ruled by Mercury, and my Mercury is domiciled in Virgo and the final dispositor of everything in my chart except the sun. However, I can see a Virgo Mercury being, possibly, physical rather than mental, or physical and mental. Plus, my Mercury is in the eighth house. From the perspective of traditional astrology, at least, that may be considered a detriment... if Oddity, our resident traditional astrologer, has any corrections or expansions on that, I'd love to hear it!
For you, the ninth house ruler is in a fall sign... but also a very physical sign, and a very tenacious sign, too. Perhaps that gives you a more hands-on approach to learning. Maybe you need to do things in order to learn them, rather than read or hear about them. If that's so, and if your college program is the traditional lecture-exam-write papers kind, with little or no hands-on experience involved, that just won't work for you. You need something much more experiential. Meanwhile, the tenaciousness of that Taurus Mars contributes to you not wanting to give up.
Now, Jupiter: you and I both have Jupiter retrograde. I suppose that might serve to create a need for learning to be personally meaningful, not just out in the open with full recognition, and perhaps a difference in how learning takes place. While your Jupiter is close enough to the ninth house cusp for a conjunction, it's in the eighth and retrograding back, so it has a very eighth house message about it.
I'm curious, now, to learn more about what the eighth house might mean for learning. I certainly see parallels between your struggle and mine, and we both have some eighth house highlights in that picture.
We might also take it to mean that you need to learn eighth house sorts of things, in an eighth house kind of way. That might mean making some unusual leaps and connections (Karl Jung, of collective unconscious fame, had some significant eighth house placements). That might mean a draw to psychology, or healing arts, or sociology, or the occult... even astrology!
Since your Jupiter is in Scorpio, that adds to the eighth house/Scorpionic kind of message. And, if we add modern planets to the mix, your ninth house has two rulers. Pluto is the modern ruler of Scorpio, and it sits right in the ninth house, domiciled. Your Pluto is very strong.
I would interpret that as another sign that, while traditional learning may not work very well for you (traditional ruler in detriment), a different kind of learning would probably work very, very well, but it might be hard to find. Pluto rules the hidden things, the underworld.
To give advice, you need to know what you're talking about. Lisahearts hasn't shared enough details for it to be clear if this advice is at all appropriate.
I don't think she's said how close she is to her degree. And if it's an AA she's pursuing, she's attending a community college--the only kind that would offer that degree--and community college is the cheapest possible kind. Furthermore, receptionist might not be the appropriate job for her, or the appropriate way in. We don't even know if the health field is right for her, or just her first guess. She may not even have that figured out at this point.
This advice is highly inappropriate when we're talking about an undeniably abusive parent:
SkuttleStar
Well-known member
I actually give that advice because I too have been abused by a parent and it can really help you stay sane. I don't think he deserves a break legally-- but for her own well-being, she deserves it. It's like forgiving people who really don't deserve it because you deserve peace. I have given more than enough validation that this abuse is real and life-ruining.
she wrote in bold, first post
I do hope in 4 years she has completed enough of an AA certificate to be-able to finish on her own, while living on her own.
Also, I stated many times- what I wrote is my economic advice. I do economics for a living and it's my background. I also live in the same country as the querent, and am well aware of our social issues- college tuition being stuff that will ruin you and your children's lives. Therefore it simply is a bad idea to try and come at education while being abused. It could be a learning-disability thing, yes, but life in general is much easier when you're not being abused. Also a few years working can really make you yearn to be back in school! lol! Additionally- not to go into politics--- but the democratic nominees this election year are promising to fix our tuition issue. There is a lot, a lot, a lot of reasons why I advise this- as an observer of the economy.
Osamenor
Staff member
However, forgiving does not mean excusing them. When you said, "He's obviously just as upset as you are," that sure sounds like an excuse! Also, nothing lisahearts posted gives any indication that her father feels badly about what he's done to her. So where does that "obviously" come from? It's sure not obvious to me!
That doesn't necessarily mean she's that close to done. I had a friend in college, when I was getting my AA degree, who spent four years trying to get the AA degree and still wasn't done. He had learning disabilities that hindered him, but his family put so much pressure on him to go to college and get a degree--and he did move away from home to do it--that he kept right on trying, even though it really wasn't working for him.