I just needed to add that I sense Plutonian elements in what you both - Moor and Lazarusx - describe in the falling in love process. There is also a Neptunian element in there somewhere - the loss of identity and personal definition.
For me, falling in love was as you describe it - the loss of control, the loss of self, the depth of emotion ...... none of which was at all practical or useful in the long run. This is how the 8th house works, I think. I have only `fallen in love' with people who were not good for me, and were not able to meet me half way, or even one-tenth the way. I have found my relationship history (now a long way in the past) to be painful and confronting. But what I *did* learn was to be responsible for myself and my own emotional life. That has taken me decades, and I had to experience the 2nd Saturn R to `get it'.
During my 1st Saturn Return, I was not yet ready to be fully responsible for myself and my children, and as the time passed from the Saturn R to the Saturn square at 37, I realised/learned that being responsible for myself was the only way I was going to get out of a marriage that was slowly killing me ..... (my former husband was a master manipulator, and emotionally abusive)
The 8th house forces us to let go - of control, of ego, of expectations, and Saturn pushes us to being responsible for ourselves and our actions.