Squares and Oppositions w/ People my Age

Hello readers!
I found something very interesting while looking at my natal chart and synastry to people born in my year, 1994.

In my natal:

I have Gemini Moon, Mercury, and Venus in 4th House
I have Pisces Saturn in 1st House.
My Saturn squares my Moon, Mercury, and Venus.
My Virgo Chiron in 7th House also squares Moon and Mercury.
I have Sun opposite North Node.

I compared my natal chart to my two closest friends growing up, and to other people born in the same year as me.

It seems that my synastry to almost everyone born in 1994 mimic some natal chart aspects. Almost everyone, that year, has their Saturn squaring my Moon, Mercury, and some square my Venus. Many have their Chiron squaring my Moon, Mercury, and some square my Venus. Some people have their North Node opposing my Sun.

It makes a lot of sense why I get along best with people who are much older or younger than me. I've never been able to connect well with people my age. They mostly found me weird and I always felt unable to express myself to people close my age. I feel inhibited like there's some invisible barrier I can't see and if I act out my Gemini Moon, Mercury, or Venus, it seems they are repulsed by me or they look down on me. I feel or get alienated.

However, with those who have their North Node opposing my Sun, I find them easier to talk to. However, there's still a bit of tension and inhibition from my end, and at some points, I get tired being around them too long. I feel like I have to force out a personality in order to get along with them.

Since I grew up with people disapproving or inhibiting of my Moon, Mercury, and Venus, it became hard for me to open up myself to anyone in fear of getting put down, rejected, ignored, etc. It's already happened many times...

But recently, I have been learning self-love and childhood deconditioning and have expressed my Moon, Mercury, and Venus from time to time to people (cashiers, little sister's friends, bank tellers) and they seem either charmed or tolerant (I also have Moon, Mercury, and Venus trine my Ascendant). They also don't seem like the same age as me!

I've been living too long believing something was wrong with me because I grew up with people thinking I was! Even my own dad had his Moon squaring my Moon, Mercury, and Venus, and he questioned and disliked how I act, think, and talked, growing up. He found me to be too much for him and our styles were just too different...

But I am slowly learning that there is nothing wrong me. I just express myself differently from others, but that doesn't mean it's bad and not everyone's gonna reject me. I have to find the right ones who will accept me. I just need to learn to accept myself and open myself up more so the right people can find me! I need to let go of all lies I believed in and start believing in the truth that I am already just right!

You definitely have a very complex chart, so good for you for the progress you are making.

With Saturn haunting your first house, and the Sun in opposition to Pluto, this tells a lot about how your ego has been frequently undermined. In turn you are prone to inner tension and tend to beat yourself up as well, by your negative self-talk, as indicated by Mercury/Pluto.

Saturn's position tends to block your ability to express your true self, which sets you up for being misunderstood by others. Saturn in Pisces is highly
sensitive. The life lesson for Saturn in Pisces is to grow in emotional understanding, humility and compassion without undermining your own true value.

Your path of destiny [shown in the Nodal axis] shows that you come from a past where you honoured 'goodness' and being productive, above 'wholeness'. Note that the Nodes sit astride the Sun/Pluto opposition, intensifying those energies. The South Node in the 3rd points to the signature of difficulties with your peers. Symbolized by Taurus, this suggests you need to back down on your physical / security needs and reach for the North Node qualities; this may involve withdrawing from the negative projections of others and directing your passions into overcoming any internalized obsessions that lead you into the dark. At the same time this is about quelling any internalized desires for power and control. We can only really have power over ourselves.

Remember also that the outer planets [Uranus, Neptune and Pluto] represent generational influences, so those born in the same year as you will also
respond to similar political and social imprints.

With Saturn in it's return to Capricorn now, by later next year it will move into your 12th H and that should provide some good opportunity to undertake a more serious period of self-assessment and investigation [personal retreat]. Good luck on your journey!

kimbermoon said:

You definitely have a very complex chart, so good for you for the progress you are making.

With Saturn haunting your first house, and the Sun in opposition to Pluto, this tells a lot about how your ego has been frequently undermined. In turn you are prone to inner tension and tend to beat yourself up as well, by your negative self-talk, as indicated by Mercury/Pluto.

Saturn's position tends to block your ability to express your true self, which sets you up for being misunderstood by others. Saturn in Pisces is highly
sensitive. The life lesson for Saturn in Pisces is to grow in emotional understanding, humility and compassion without undermining your own true value.

Your path of destiny [shown in the Nodal axis] shows that you come from a past where you honoured 'goodness' and being productive, above 'wholeness'. Note that the Nodes sit astride the Sun/Pluto opposition, intensifying those energies. The South Node in the 3rd points to the signature of difficulties with your peers. Symbolized by Taurus, this suggests you need to back down on your physical / security needs and reach for the North Node qualities; this may involve withdrawing from the negative projections of others and directing your passions into overcoming any internalized obsessions that lead you into the dark. At the same time this is about quelling any internalized desires for power and control. We can only really have power over ourselves.

Remember also that the outer planets [Uranus, Neptune and Pluto] represent generational influences, so those born in the same year as you will also
respond to similar political and social imprints.

With Saturn in it's return to Capricorn now, by later next year it will move into your 12th H and that should provide some good opportunity to undertake a more serious period of self-assessment and investigation [personal retreat]. Good luck on your journey!

Click to expand...

Thanks!!

Yes, I have beaten myself up to a pulp in the old days...now, no more of that!!
I met someone back in 2016 whom I shared a very 'soulful' connection with. He taught me the importance of self-compassion and since we don't talk anymore, I believe in honoring our relationship by being compassionate to myself. He also wanted me to do other things, but I am still not ready to take it to heart...
I don't have his time of birth, but whatever time he was born, his Sun, Mars, and Pluto all conjunct my North Node. He was/IS a very significant person to me... He really helped me to where I am now...
I love him dearly, as if he were the brother of my soul.

kimbermoon said:

withdrawing from the negative projections of others and directing your passions into overcoming any internalized obsessions that lead you into the dark. At the same time this is about quelling any internalized desires for power and control."

Click to expand...

^^^^ Interestingly, that is what i am trying to do right now lol. I guess I'm on the right path

It's still hard... but being at 23, I can't expect to reach my North Node qualities anytime soon. It took me over a year to practice self-compassion, and there's still lots of work I need to do on myself.

Right now, I have Saturn trine Chiron and Chiron trine Pluto, and I believe those transits are helping with my de-conditioning and re-conditioning.

Comparing myself to who I was last year and many years before, I definitely have made good progress, even if it seems slow.

And yes, I will keep in mind about the outer planets as well.