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  #1  
Unread 08-29-2013, 10:30 AM
Ailceimic Ailceimic is offline
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Unhappy Castrating YOD!!

Hi to you all!

I have a hard-to-deal yod.

the vertex is a tight conjuntion of Mars-Chiron-MidHeaven in 26-27 Taurus, and the basis is Neptune-SouthNode in 25-28 Sagittarius sextile to Pluto-Saturn in 28-29 Libra.

The most exact aspects are between Mars-Chiron-Midheaven, Pluto and Neptune. South Node and Saturn lay a bit appart.

I experience that Mars-Midheaven (which here would represent self-assertiveness, goals pursuing and social public positioning) is "diluted and weakened" by neptune on the one hand, nad "blocked, censored and self-condemned" by pluto-saturn on the other. The tight conjundtion of Chiron to Mars (around 020') makes I experience this in a painful way. Lack of self-esteem, self assertiveness, courage to show myself to the world and willing to pursue my life goals.


Woudl some kind of planetary transit to e.g. my Mars-Chiron-Midheaven help me find the chance to overcome this? In such case, which would it be?

Thanks to you all!

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  #2  
Unread 08-29-2013, 10:42 AM
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poyi poyi is offline
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Re: Castrating YOD!!

can you post your chart? I am better with picture
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  #3  
Unread 08-29-2013, 10:57 AM
Ailceimic Ailceimic is offline
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Re: Castrating YOD!!

oooops!!!! Sorry, I was about to do it, but I just forgot!! Thanx!
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  #4  
Unread 08-29-2013, 10:58 AM
Ailceimic Ailceimic is offline
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Re: Castrating YOD!!

Here you are!
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File Type: jpg Chart.jpg (129.4 KB, 5 views)
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  #5  
Unread 08-29-2013, 11:28 AM
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Re: Castrating YOD!!

Hmmmm, you have a rather similar chart like my own sister.


Retrograde planets are very hard to deal with sometime. They delay, repeat, review, going back and forward, returning back to what it was, can be very frustrating. It does look very difficult to me...

Your Sun combusted Moon and Mars, Mercury seem to be another story. With all that Mars conjunct Chiron that indicates possible physical abuse. Taurus is a very sensual sign...It is very concerning. The karmic lesson is in the Moon node, Your North node conjunct Venus, and south node conjunct Neptune Rx. And Neptune rules 7th house for partnership.

So the Venus in Cancer, you would really want your family and partnership to be successful, but yet the south node ask you to let go of the 7th house, and it is Retrograde, you have to review your marriage or repeat again.

I want to tell you something positive. The strength in your chart would be Venus and Moon mutual reception by signs, Venus rules Taurus Moon, and Moon rules Venus in Cancer. Moon in Taurus her exaltation sign, though it combusted by Sun so there is imperfection and weakness there. So there is strong desire and life goal to reach to the Venus in Cancer but there will be imperfection a bit of lost since Moon is exalted in Taurus but somehow was harmed by the Sun.

I really want to know how your physical health is like. Since your Mercury rules your Virgo ascendant but Mercury in Rx and it seem to be in the heart of the Sun. That is actually good. I would like to hear about your health first. Then I see what I can figure out in this chart.
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I believe there is something of the divine mystery in everything that exists. We can see it sparkle in a sunflower or a poppy. We sense more of the unfathomable mystery in a butterfly that flutters from a twig--or in a goldfish swimming in a bowl. But we are closest to God in our own soul. Only there can we become one with the greatest mystery of life. In truth, at very rare moments we can experience that we ourselves are that divine mystery. --Jostein Gaarder, Sophie's World
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  #6  
Unread 08-29-2013, 12:01 PM
Ailceimic Ailceimic is offline
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Re: Castrating YOD!!

MY GOD, Poyi!!!!

1. I'd never though of Mars-Chiron conjunction as physical abuse, but you really got it: as a child my mother used to beat me for no apparent reason very often, she used to have many nervous chrisis... I really remember my childhood as an extremely sad and hard time..

2.Regarding Nodes axis lessons: family for me was/is certainly a lesson: parents got divorced when I was 2 years, then mother went so far from home and left me and my sister with my aunts and granparents, then she came back and took us far with her, far from dad and all the others, and she beated us all the time. Regarding couples: I fall in love extremely easily, especially with people that has some problem to start a relationship with me: foreign, deaf, my first couple had many problems to stay with me because his parents did not accept he was gay... I'm addicted to suffering...

3. Health: I've always been rather skinny, with minor health issues, but since 2-3 years i started to collect very annoying and hard-to-get-rid-of small diseases, my gut is chronically sick, and now it cannot uptake nutrients properly, so it's extremely hard to me to gain weight. I also had several alergic reactions I'd never had before, otitis, and so on... all in recent years...

Hope this helps you to interpret, your analysis are being extremely useful and meaning!!!
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Unread 08-29-2013, 12:36 PM
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Re: Castrating YOD!!

I see. Thank you for your feedback and information.

This is indeed very hard to deal with. You can already see if I guide you through. You said your mother was the one that abused you. You look at the Moon and Venus mutual reception that I told you before.

Moon rules Venus, Venus rules Sun, Mercury, Mars and Chiron. The connection is your Moon due to the rulership over Venus. She also is the one who Harmed you (Mars, Chiron). This is the harmful effect from the Sun (father) combustion to the Moon.

Moon should be dignified but her qualities was Burnt off by the Sun. So your father and mother separated in a very tragic way. That in a way affects your health. Cause the primary ruler of Mercury Venus & Moon are together affected. So Mercury is also weaken now. That's why your have difficult time with your absorption as Virgo ruled the digestive system, ascendant your physical body and health.

Your 4th house Jupiter and Uranus conjunction both Retrogrades, Jupiter and Uranus. This conjunction normally means super sudden luck. When it retrograde even Jupiter is happy to be in 4th house in his own Sagittarius, it turned out to be a lot of unstable family home events. But Retrogrades have a choice to turn things around after later on in life. It can turn direct in progressed chart.

The way you fall in love so easily and always chose the wrong guy that is due to the Neptune Rx and Venus opposition and Moon node connection. As I said, north node, the goal that you most wanted in life is family and partnership, but the south node told you to learn to let go of your partnership. The opposition aspect again is learning to reach a balance. So it asks you that is ok to want to have family and love, but you will need to learn to have balance with it. You will need to learn how to discriminate who is good for you and who is bad for you.

Venus trine Saturn, you should normally be very devoted and loyal lover, when Saturn in Libra goes retrograde that will become a kind of negative devotion like you hanging on for something not necessary should be devoted on. You become stubborn in love.

Saturn Rx conjunction with Pluto Rx, another extreme an intense love and hate aspect. So difficult to handle. These two in your 3rd house, I think you and your sibling have inseperable relationship. Venus rules the 3rd house, Pluto Rx and Saturn Rx they sextile Neptune Rx in 4th house.

Neptune in 4th house, in early life very much is feeling of abandonment, a boat lost at sea. 12th house is belonged to Neptune, when it is difficult you will be lost in the mist. No clear definition to you in term of family and home. Obviously with all the things you had gone through.

So what we want to do here is to fulfil the goal of this Finger of God, Yod aspect. Mars and Chiron are the central point of this Yob. Mars rules Aries, you 9th house cusp. You should seek religious help. I have a feeling if you start helping others, you will also be healed.

The psychology part of all these to me from my observation of my sister, she has similar chart like yours. She was abused sexually and physically as a child. Her inner deepest insecurity was no one will ever love her. She lets herself down, feeling guilty that it was all her fault that everything fell apart. She blamed herself for years in secret. She could not get over the fact of the abuses, she never understood, nothing was her fault.

You see the similarity might be also in your case. Your 2nd house is the material and non material wealth. How you value yourself as a person, how adequate you feel about yourself as a person. Am I good enough? Anyone going to love me? This confusion is in your Venus, Neptune Rx, and Moon node connection.

It is interesting to see that Venus being placed in 11th house, the house of friends and people in large, community. In the sign of Cancer, what do you think about helping people in large, having a family in large in the community.

To use your empathy to heal others at the same time you will learn that you worth something, you worth to live a good life cause you providing others yourself as a gift to them? You have to bring this compassion for partnership instead of helping one person with his trouble, why don't you focus on the non one to one but in group type of helps to others? The north node is telling you to focus on a Large Group of people and focus less on your one to one only relationship. When the balance is reached you could have both!

Planet conjuncts Chiron. you are wounded but you be healed later as well. You heal other people's wounds then you will heal your own.
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I believe there is something of the divine mystery in everything that exists. We can see it sparkle in a sunflower or a poppy. We sense more of the unfathomable mystery in a butterfly that flutters from a twig--or in a goldfish swimming in a bowl. But we are closest to God in our own soul. Only there can we become one with the greatest mystery of life. In truth, at very rare moments we can experience that we ourselves are that divine mystery. --Jostein Gaarder, Sophie's World
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  #8  
Unread 08-29-2013, 01:05 PM
Heavensmystery Heavensmystery is offline
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Re: Castrating YOD!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ailceimic View Post
Here you are!

This chart looks very neat
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  #9  
Unread 08-29-2013, 01:34 PM
Ailceimic Ailceimic is offline
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Re: Castrating YOD!!

Poyi:

All this is being REALLY REVEALING! I usually feel soo selfish and self-centered at first when coming to deal with other's problems, I'm evasive and avoid commitment not to feel restricted. But it suddenly changes when I feel some person in real PAIN, especially some pain that remainds me my own past pain, then I have the need to play a nurturing mother role, in a quite emotional and protective way, like if by doing so, I could feel it'd had been done to me, to heal me... but maybe I'd find a way to direct this feelings in a practical direction, maybe focused in a large family-like group... have to say, though, that my north node falls indeed in 10th house, not in 11th... but very close to the 11th cusp...

Sister and I used to have a tight relationship when we were children, we supported and rely on each otehr to overcome our common problem: my mother and our lonelyness... but nowadays we are so distant with each other, only keep a sporadic and cold contact.

Also I feel the effects of that Mars-Chiron-directed YOD in my career, as it points to 10th house, I work as a researcher, and I've always felt surpassed and unable compared to others, like overwhelmed...

I really found your advice useful, I thank you so much for it, and for havng invested your time on it!!!
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  #10  
Unread 08-29-2013, 01:36 PM
Ailceimic Ailceimic is offline
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Wink Re: Castrating YOD!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heavensmystery View Post
This chart looks very neat
eheheh, thanks, Heavensmistery, it's a very virginal one! :P but too many conjunctions, in my opinion...
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  #11  
Unread 08-29-2013, 01:44 PM
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Re: Castrating YOD!!

Thank you for reading it and giving me feedback.

I hope that you feel uplifted by it. I wish you well as well.
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I believe there is something of the divine mystery in everything that exists. We can see it sparkle in a sunflower or a poppy. We sense more of the unfathomable mystery in a butterfly that flutters from a twig--or in a goldfish swimming in a bowl. But we are closest to God in our own soul. Only there can we become one with the greatest mystery of life. In truth, at very rare moments we can experience that we ourselves are that divine mystery. --Jostein Gaarder, Sophie's World
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