WaterCopter
Banned
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Sorry to hear of your relationship. If it's a theme, it'll come up in your natal chart. Either way, it's a powerful event that you've been through. Lots of lessons there.
That link is really good. I think I'm going to order the book. Thanks for posting it.
Best wishes to you WaterCopter
Scorpio heavy or not, this one just confirmed to me that not only am I moving on too fast (and not quite over her) but she is not someone healthy for me to be around at this stage in my life.
I leave my computer on overnight (I set it to not go to sleep so I can let my phone charge over night) and for some reason it was reading her messages in the morning (didn't touch my computer until the afternoon). She freaked out at me, told me I "don't have the balls to even respond" and then blocked me. Phoned her, found out she was having a panic attack, helped her through that, came over, made sure she was alright, day goes good, I start getting comparisons to her ex, and things just went downhill from there. It started to feel like a rebound and I didn't approve of that either; so I left. Said goodbyes and wished her well; she only got more pissed at me. Turns out she has bipolar.
I'm completely turned off from relationships now. I just don't want anything to do with anyone at this moment. This settled it in the bag for me. I'm probably going to start blaming myself on this one too.
I got projects to do. I'll focus on that. Relationships are stupid. Better to be alone.
Yes, the synastry suggests that she cares deeply.The hot and cold is not genuine, meaning she actually cares?
Trust your gut, aka your inner guidance, not hearsay from others, aka outer guidance. Others have their own issues and agendas.Anyways, thank you for your assestment on the chart. I really appreciate it. It shed some light in helping me understand. Maybe she was actually hurt by it. It never sounded like that cause I would get a different story from everyone. Her Uncle would claim she was perfectly fine and happy without me. Her mother told me she became a complete wreck but appreciated everything I did for her. Her friends would state she is very happy without me and I was just an abusive piece of ****. Some said it was hard and she was doing alright, but most of her friends, that she claimed "supported" her through the break up claimed she was so happy she left me and "they" (Cris included) enjoyed laughing at the messages I would send to her and laughed at how pathetic I was.
Her psychotic friend in reference; apparently she approved of her messages of telling me I should die alone and I should go kill myself (Cris didn't even care I ended up in the hosptial over a suicide attempt). Not once did she ever tell "Em" to stop pretending to be Cris. I don't see any signs that she remotely cared at all. I guess you can say she appreciated and approved of these actions they did that lead me to attempt suicide. I don't know how that is called "love".
Talking to this community if very theraputic. Thank you all for your insight and perspectives given. It's really helpful.
My gut says she thinks she is no good for me. That if she talks to me she'll "cause" all of this again. Can't explain, just a thought I wanted to slip in.
All those oppositions which include Chiron in the composite don't bode well. Pain, pain, pain. And Moon-Neptune conjunct can give you psychic experiences, dream connections, etc. It doesn't mean it was all sanctioned by your Souls, as in a true Twin Flame style connection. It could have been manipulated by entities from the lower astral levels, so they could feed on the toxic energies that the relationship produced. You can read the beginning of this book, and read the comments, that will give you the gist of what I'm talking about (The Dark Side of Cupid).
https://www.amazon.co.uk/d/Books/Da...874651&sr=1-1&keywords=the+dark+side+of+cupid
You're still 'corded' to each other, and that's why you think/hope that she'll be back. The cord is begging for her energy again. Read about cords here -
http://www.alchemyrealm.com/cords.htm
I tried with another woman and after a couple dates I didn't want it. I didn't want all the drama. I just don't want another relationship. I have no drive or lust for having one anymore. It sickens me to even think of having another relationship. I feel absolutely disgusted in myself for dating this person.
Cris was my first true love and I feel like she'll be my last. I don't want to explore a relationship with anyone else. Not even considering my most wildest dreams can I picture someone else other than my actual dream girl.
But whatever, it doesn't phase me. Thank you for all your input. It's really helped me heal (it may not seem like it as it looks like I'm still stuck on her, but I'm content. I like where I am now). This community is absolutely exceptional. I love being here.
Thank you, all. I can't thank you all enough. All your input has been so helpful I have no words for it.
[edit]: Just meditating here for a bit, I know why we were drawn together and I know why we separated. I think I can cut that cord. And hey, it doesn't mean "the end" it just means it leaves room for something new to grow; and if that cord gets created with her once again, it'll be stronger than ever before.