Tough love vs. Softness

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Sagcap88

Well-known member
I was wondering what factors in a natal chart might indicate how best to approach a loved one or friend about a behavior they engage in that you can see is harmful to them and/or others.

I would assume that you should approach a Pisces or Cancer with sensitivity.

An Aries might need sense knocked into them through tough love.

Any insights? Thanks!
 
Osamenor

Osamenor

Staff member
If you're talking about sun sign, that tells you nothing about what kind of approach the person needs. You would have to consider their whole chart. And even then, it depends on the individual.

It also depends on what your relationship with this person is, how much authority you have over them, and what kind of harmful behavior this is. If the person is your underage son or daughter and the harmful behavior is drug addiction, you have a lot of authority, and most would say a lot of responsibility, too: you're duty bound to do something. If the person is your peer and the harmful behavior is that they keep dating people who break their heart, you don't have any authority over them, and trying to change them would just be invasive, and in that case, the harmful behavior isn't necessarily harming anyone but themselves.

Astrologically, I think Saturn and Jupiter are the real key factors. It depends on both sign and house placement, though. So unless you're talking about a specific person and you know their precise birth details, it's impossible to determine what kind of approach they need astrologically. There's no cookbook formula for this.
 
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Sagcap88

Well-known member
Osamenor said:
If you're talking about sun sign, that tells you nothing about what kind of approach the person needs. You would have to consider their whole chart. And even then, it depends on the individual.

It also depends on what your relationship with this person is, how much authority you have over them, and what kind of harmful behavior this is. If the person is your underage son or daughter and the harmful behavior is drug addiction, you have a lot of authority, and most would say a lot of responsibility, too: you're duty bound to do something. If the person is your peer and the harmful behavior is that they keep dating people who break their heart, you don't have any authority over them, and trying to change them would just be invasive, and in that case, the harmful behavior isn't necessarily harming anyone but themselves.

Astrologically, I think Saturn and Jupiter are the real key factors. It depends on both sign and house placement, though. So unless you're talking about a specific person and you know their precise birth details, it's impossible to determine what kind of approach they need astrologically. There's no cookbook formula for this.
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Thanks for the solid advice! I guess it’s never an easy thing to do, no matter how much you know about a person. Sometimes you see a whole new side of people when things aren’t 100% peachy. I guess all we can do is come from a place of care and say what needs to be said in order to help that person. They may be upset momentarily but hopefully will realize it was in their best interest. And if they can’t, I wouldn’t count them as a loss. Touchy people are too dramatic to be around. I got off track there haha
 
F

Frisiangal

Well-known member
Sagcap88 said:
I was wondering what factors in a natal chart might indicate how best to approach a loved one or friend about a behavior they engage in that you can see is harmful to them and/or others.

I would assume that you should approach a Pisces or Cancer with sensitivity.

An Aries might need sense knocked into them through tough love.

Any insights? Thanks!
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Behaviour patterns are an automatic Moon response to outer stimuli (people, situations), as per its sign.
'Conditioning' would add a Saturn influence, as would 'control'.
Mercury could show how one hears, thinks about, and relates to what is said.
Jupiter might be seen as tending to lay down the law.

The chart would show where and how all are situated, and the strength of aspects made.

That could help in the approach to be taken, couldn't it?

:smile:
 
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Sagcap88

Well-known member
Frisiangal said:
Behaviour patterns are an automatic Moon response to outer stimuli (people, situations), as per its sign.
'Conditioning' would add a Saturn influence, as would 'control'.
Mercury could show how one hears, thinks about, and relates to what is said.
Jupiter might be seen as tending to lay down the law.

The chart would show where and how all are situated, and the strength of aspects made.

That could help in the approach to be taken, couldn't it?

:smile:
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Thanks! That makes sense. That reminds me that the moon is how we react to things.

I wonder how each moon sign would react.

I know that my reactive nature as a Cap moon is to stuff my emotions down and remain stoic which is totally unhealthy.
 
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Frisiangal

Well-known member
Sagcap88 said:
Thanks! That makes sense. That reminds me that the moon is how we react to things.

I wonder how each moon sign would react.

I know that my reactive nature as a Cap moon is to stuff my emotions down and remain stoic which is totally unhealthy.
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Your previous remark, 'Touchy people are too dramatic to be around' made me smile because it was Sooooo recogniseable.
Another Cap. Moon who has had a major lesson in toning (i.e. showing, not stuffing :wink:) emotions during life, AFTER the physical disorders through their suppression manifested.
Have Moon bi-quintile Uranus and astrology to thank for that ?:wink:
 
S

Sagcap88

Well-known member
Frisiangal said:
Your previous remark, 'Touchy people are too dramatic to be around' made me smile because it was Sooooo recogniseable.
Another Cap. Moon who has had a major lesson in toning (i.e. showing, not stuffing :wink:) emotions during life, AFTER the physical disorders through their suppression manifested.
Have Moon bi-quintile Uranus and astrology to thank for that ?:wink:
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Omg yes this is totally right on. I forget what bi-quintile looks like but my moon makes an aspect to Uranus with a symbol that looks like a dash with a v on top. My 5th house moon also trines my retrograde Taurus Jupiter in the 9th at exactly 0 degrees so I’m not sure how that plays in.
 
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Frisiangal

Well-known member
Originally Posted by Frisiangal

Have Moon bi-quintile Uranus and astrology to thank for that ?
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Sagcap88 said:
I forget what bi-quintile looks like but my moon makes an aspect to Uranus with a symbol that looks like a dash with a v on top. My 5th house moon also trines my retrograde Taurus Jupiter in the 9th at exactly 0 degrees so I’m not sure how that plays in.
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What you describe is the glyph for a 30 degrees separation semi-sextile aspect. It's said to be a minor aspect referring to 'effort required to do something/bring into being'; a nudge rather than the big push. Moon-Uranus? Effort needed to effect emotional change?
Had the v been under the dash, it would have been an inconjunct/quincunx aspect (150 degrees) that would have made the big push felt and more urgent.:smile:

I'm thinking that Uranus must be in Sagittarius rather than Aquarius, meaning you've passed the Saturn return beginning at 29 yrs. old which, through rulership, would influence a Moon in Capricorn? Especially as secondary progressed Moon's own return occurs a year or so before.

Retro. Jupiter could suggest going by Taurus facts and practicality to feel safe and secure. This would allow improvement and development through experience. Could be hard because the conditioning of old behaviour patterns in Moon are so ingrained that it takes the pneumatic drill (Uranus?) to dislodge them and their influence….. as i discovered.:biggrin:
 
S

Sagcap88

Well-known member
Frisiangal said:
What you describe is the glyph for a 30 degrees separation semi-sextile aspect. It's said to be a minor aspect referring to 'effort required to do something/bring into being'; a nudge rather than the big push. Moon-Uranus? Effort needed to effect emotional change?
Had the v been under the dash, it would have been an inconjunct/quincunx aspect (150 degrees) that would have made the big push felt and more urgent.:smile:

I'm thinking that Uranus must be in Sagittarius rather than Aquarius, meaning you've passed the Saturn return beginning at 29 yrs. old which, through rulership, would influence a Moon in Capricorn? Especially as secondary progressed Moon's own return occurs a year or so before.

Retro. Jupiter could suggest going by Taurus facts and practicality to feel safe and secure. This would allow improvement and development through experience. Could be hard because the conditioning of old behaviour patterns in Moon are so ingrained that it takes the pneumatic drill (Uranus?) to dislodge them and their influence….. as i discovered.:biggrin:
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Thanks! :)
My Uranus, Saturn, and Neptune are all in Capricorn. None conjunct my moon, fortunately. My moon is at the last degree whereas the others are in the early degrees. They’re conjunct by sign perhaps? But totally out of orb.

I’m going through my Saturn return as I type this! It’s not so bad; it’s making me grow and rearrange my mental files at a rapid pace. It’s forced me to embrace my truth and become more conservative. I’ve shed a lot of bad traits like materialism and opened my eyes up to brutal truths about the world and nature of human beings. I used to have my head in the clouds. Now I feel like an adult.
 
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