Why does it seem like alot of people hate Aries?

junoisuppose said:

i liked what you said about this is just the way they are I tell my dad again and again but he just doesn't get it And astrology has taught me not to get so worked up about his character or expect that he can change or that I can impose my values on him, so I'm a little less frustrated than I used to be.
He just can't help thinking about himself first

& he has good aries qualities that I admire, he loves sports, when he was younger he was quite active doing work that needed to be done outside, he had the drive to become successful in his career (although I'm not sure if his capricorn ascendant didn't also help a lot with that, and he had to work for himself because he couldn't take other people bossing him around) and when he was around 30 he and 2 friends got a car and drove across land from asia to the UK where they settled, so he's quite pioneering and genuinely interested in the people he met along the way.

Plus also he has moon in pisces which is contradictory to aries in a way. He was a doctor and would go out of his way to help people who are sick, so he wasn't selfish all the time. He moved countries to the UK for among other reasons because we have a free health service in the UK and he couldn't face charging people who were sick for treatment. So not pure aries, as nobody is purely one sign.

As for whether my other planets contribute to my frustration with him, well I'm virgo rising, so his pisces moon falls in my 7th house, his moon is also trine my sun, so we understand each other. My moon is gemini, conjunct his venus at the end of taurus, another beneficial aspect to have, and perhaps explains why a lot of our relating is around food My venus is in leo, widely trine his sun, and my mars is in virgo. I think our most problematic aspect is that our saturns are in opposition, mine in leo and his in aquarius. We had many power struggles as I was growing up Or maybe it is because I have 3 planets in leo, so I expect people to consider MY needs & I get affronted when they don't because I've got a little too much pride

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junoisuppose said:

Hi,

I'll try to add some astrology in here so it doesn't get deleted for being off topic.

Last week I read this article, I don't know if it's relevant to you, but it blew me away. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/test-case/201106/shame-you-do-you-use-shame-control-others

Whenever we shame others it pisses them off and encourages them to disrespect us and and shame us back, even if we didn't intend to shame them, if that's what they felt.

A useful tool that I have found is that I have recently started studying non-violent communication by Marshall Rosenberg, which is amazing, and can combat this kind of situation, but is not easy to apply when we have spent our entire lives communicating in defensive ways. Basically he says that people don't want to get into fights with other people, there are universal human needs that everyone has (e.g. need for rest, for safety, for connection with others, to contribute, need for community, to make our own choices etc there are loads), and when we are communicating we are communicating about those basic needs that are or aren't being met. So instead of listening to the insults or ego-blows that people throw at us if we listen for the needs of the other person that aren't being met and express that we have heard those needs we will find that the other person didn't even mean those insults they threw at us, they were just using them as an ineffective tool to tell us that they were upset because one or more of their needs is not being met.

However, having said that, even though I have read his book, which is awesome by the way, and been practising NVC for a few months, last week I found myself in an extremely annoying and heated fight, and all my learning went out of the window. I tried to at least ask the other person were they really feeling x or y and the other person did answer me and clarify why it was that they were annoyed with me. & I didn't use the whole NVC process properly, and if I had, very probably the conflict would have been diffused.

The fight coincided with the sun on my descendant, which in my daily horoscope on www.astro.com I was warned meant conflict with another person.

But also for the last few weeks mars has been squaring venus, and I seem to have been constantly getting myself into arguments. So perhaps this aspect is what you have been experiencing too over the last few weeks. I think it means that taurean or libran people will have been getting into fights with young men and arien people will have been getting into fights with young women, or just plain libra and taurus will have been fighting with aries and scorpio.

In regard to the girl who wrote the article, you said she did make changes that you pointed out, so she wasn't thinking that she knew best, she was aware that your points had some merit, she could have just ignored you and left the article as it was.

& you say that you think she is a person who can't admit her mistakes and covers her tracks, but I would humbly like to suggest to you that you are projecting onto her something that she might think and there are other explanations. & I am most definitely not trying to criticise you for doing so, I have done the same thing many, many times.

When she deleted your comments it could be because they were negative to her and she didn't want people to see negative press about her.

But she changed the article, so people could have read the comments, then looked back at the article and not found what you were referring to so they would have gone away thinking "What's that person on about?".

So it could be that the comments were hurtful and painful to her, so she deleted them so that she didn't have to read them anymore. If someone sends me an e-mail that I find painful I don't keep it hanging around, I delete it as soon as possible, to try to expunge the pain.

Maybe she is a person who is too proud to admit her mistakes, but maybe she isn't and there is another explanation. Maybe she even thought yes your comments were right, so she changed her article, but she didn't apologise to you or thank you for your contribution either because you had hurt her and she didn't want to deal with you and the possibility that you might hurt her again or because it simply didn't occur to her to apologise to you because that wasn't how she was brought up.

Even if she is a person who is too proud to admit her mistakes, so what? How does it affect your life? Unless you are directly in competition with her for something then her not admitting her mistakes is not going to damage you. Also she is only not admitting her mistakes because she does not know how to admit her mistakes in a way that leaves her self-esteem intact. It is just a matter of her not having the psychological tools to do so, so she can't really be judged for it. It's like condemning someone for not knowing Russian when they have never had any Russian lessons.

I'm not saying that you're wrong for thinking the way you do or coming to the conclusion you did, but I believe that we feel a lot better when we accept the reality of things (she doesn't apologise) rather than expending energy in thinking things should be a different way (she should apologise) when 99.9% of the time people do the things they do because they don't know a better way.

Which is not to say we shouldn't try to make the world a better place and write articles or books or posts about how to behave better, but we can't expect everyone to act that way before they've read those books, articles and posts.

Don't know if that helps at all?

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