Is it over between us?

Januarystorm

Well-known member
Long story short; started dating in february, altough i initially wasnt THAT into it, i did feel a spark when we met but im in a period of my life where i have to solve several difficulties and i didnt feel like it was the best time for love. But he persevered and after three months of him asking friends to app me to come over and him being there, asking me to help him organize his closet, always driving me to where i needed to go, picking me up, paying attention to me and listening and i fell in love what can i say, it felt like sincere true love- i actually felt comfortable around him and his family- never expected that but anyway lets get to the problem

We are both fire signs. He is a leo, i am a Sagittarius and we are both very passionate energetic lively people that are not afraid to speak our minds and we had been getting in to some heated discussions lately but lets say 1.5 weeks ago i came over and we were going to have a sleepover we are sitting in his living room so i go to smoke on the balcony i come back his mom says he went to his bedroom but that he called for me, so i go there open the door and he is talking to a girl on the phone (it was on loudspeaker so i heard) he was startled so i was like your mom said you called for me? He was like PALE WHITE stuttering yeah…uh…im talking im going to say im on the phone ill be w you in a minute ok so i close the door, i put on my shoes and i left. I have no idea who that was or why he chose literally that moment to make that call but it ******* made me feel insignificant. I cant believe i was so stupid that I obviously completely missed this??? I usually have a good gut instict with people and i always listen to my intuition- this hit me out of left field- completely out of the blue. He hasnt reached out to me and that too, is kind of baffling to me, i dont really understand what is going on, but im pretty sure he was not serious about me, doing this for whatever reason and he obviously doesnt care about me- and i wanted to do a horary to get this confirmed and or get more information because i have no clue so help me god


So my views on the chart:

Zero degree ascendant- obviously i am not fully informed (got that one right)

Our significators sun and uranus are completely inconjunct different elements different modalities not seeing each other not fitting together

Also that moon in the 7th probably the girl he was talking to i guess so

I would say its overall pretty negative and its over between us what do you think
 

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IleneK

Premium Member
There is definitely some tension in this matter, mostly from you.
He as Sun is the keener of the two of you, being the faster moving planet. And he applies to aspect you/Saturn in a weak sextile, pointing only to opportunity to get back together.
You are annoyed, receiving Sun by detriment. The unfolding of the larger question as well as your stake in the matter, are both in some jeopardy, with Moon applying to square him/Sun.

The very early rising point suggests to me that it is way too soon to know anything. And, as you say, that you don't know what is going on.
If you are interested in talking things through and letting him explain what was and is going on, and if you are not totally p*ssed at what he says or how he says it, then I say there is opportunity to get back together. But you have to hear him out and let go of the upset, if circumstances are such that you can.
 

Januarystorm

Well-known member
There is definitely some tension in this matter, mostly from you.
He as Sun is the keener of the two of you, being the faster moving planet. And he applies to aspect you/Saturn in a weak sextile, pointing only to opportunity to get back together.
You are annoyed, receiving Sun by detriment. The unfolding of the larger question as well as your stake in the matter, are both in some jeopardy, with Moon applying to square him/Sun.

The very early rising point suggests to me that it is way too soon to know anything. And, as you say, that you don't know what is going on.
If you are interested in talking things through and letting him explain what was and is going on, and if you are not totally p*ssed at what he says or how he says it, then I say there is opportunity to get back together. But you have to hear him out and let go of the upset, if circumstances are such that you can.


Yes i saw the applying sextile coming up, i did not really see saturn as my initial significator as i feel more uranian myself, but i wanted to point out that obvious he is in a applying conjunction with a debilitated mercury? From his ascendant mercury rules the second and eleventh house- who is this?

His mother reached out to me asked how i was said i was always welcome to come over invited me to come today, i said ill think about it but im
Not really into going. Interestingly she told me he wasnt doing good since 1.5 weeks, he is never home anymore got in to this fight with everyone on friday isnt talking to anyone is silent and always working and training and never talks to her anymore and when he does he is extremely irritated

I dont know…if he is that upset why not just reach out to me?

I feel like this mercury in sag has something to do with this
 

Almohsin

Well-known member
I think he sees you colder and less serious in your interaction and maybe he sees that you are selfish!! This is because Saturn is in the ascendant and is the ruler of the first house.
He is also the sun in his fifth house of love and affection with Mercury, I think he has found a girl who is closer to himself and his mind than you.
 

Januarystorm

Well-known member
I think he sees you colder and less serious in your interaction and maybe he sees that you are selfish!! This is because Saturn is in the ascendant and is the ruler of the first house.
He is also the sun in his fifth house of love and affection with Mercury, I think he has found a girl who is closer to himself and his mind than you.


Are you sure he ‘found’ her, because i think i found out who it was, and it seems to be someone he knew before we met. His mother doesnt know her name and she was never his girlfriend- thats all the information we have uncovered so i cannot say to what extend he is closer to her or likes her more but im pretty sure she is way closer because she was important enough to call whilst i was literally in the other room so im guessing he considers her more important than me
 

Almohsin

Well-known member
Are you sure he ‘found’ her, because i think i found out who it was, and it seems to be someone he knew before we met. His mother doesnt know her name and she was never his girlfriend- thats all the information we have uncovered so i cannot say to what extend he is closer to her or likes her more but im pretty sure she is way closer because she was important enough to call whilst i was literally in the other room so im guessing he considers her more important than me


The problem for you is that the moon is in the eighth house and this is not good in romantic relationships.

the moon is the owner of the 12th house , the secrets of the man , and the moon is here in the house of Mercury! So he holds his secrets.
Also, Mercury is the owner of the 11th house , friends.
This means that Mercury is closer to that man than you are.


Mercury combusts in the sun! This usually means in the relations between two people that Mercury here complies and is submissive and the nature of the Sun is that she wants it.

And here, the sun may be happier in this relationship than Mercury, Because Mercury combusts with the sun
And because he is also in the house of Detriment.

Here their relationship may be good now, but in the long run it is difficult to predict it.
 
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Januarystorm

Well-known member
The problem for you is that the moon is in the eighth house and this is not good in romantic relationships.

the moon is the owner of the 12th house , the secrets of the man , and the moon is here in the house of Mercury! So he holds his secrets.
Also, Mercury is the owner of the 11th house , friends.
This means that Mercury is closer to that man than you are.


Mercury combusts in the sun! This usually means in the relations between two people that Mercury here complies and is submissive and the nature of the Sun is that she wants it.

And here, the sun may be happier in this relationship than Mercury, Because Mercury combusts with the sun
And because he is also in the house of Detriment.

Here their relationship may be good now, but in the long run it is difficult to predict it.

Yeah i really believe that the moon here signifies neither me nor her but his actual mother, who as you can tell is very much involved with his life, she really likes me (and the feeling is mutual- we have actually become good friends and we hang out even when he isnt there, she knows i dont talk to my own mother anymore and i see her really including me in the family- family is very important to them and he is very close to his mom) but she is his mom and that means she will sometimes keep things about her son to herself and not tell me, i know some things his sisters told me that i know she is choosing not to tell me so i wont be disappointed in him…she knows how long it took for him to get me to notice him and i get that if i had a son ill probably do the same. So i think moon here is his actual mom
 
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Januarystorm

Well-known member
Update: so yesterday his mother asked me if i could come over and help her with her taxes (i have a minor in economics) so i said sure ill help but she didnt specify when so i was like ok whenever she tells me ill come but i didnt assume she meant right now so i stayed home

Than just now his sister texted me asking how i was and when she would see me again, and im pretty sure his sister doesnt care that much to see me lol, so im guessing he asked her, so i was like fuvk it ill come over and she told me she will be home around 10 pm, so im going over see whatsup the sextile is today between the sun and saturn - i will see what happens and if anybody cares ill give another update
 
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Almohsin

Well-known member
Update: so yesterday his mother asked me if i could come over and help her with her taxes (i have a minor in economics) so i said sure ill help but she didnt specify when so i was like ok whenever she tells me ill come but i didnt assume she meant right now so i stayed home

Than just now his sister texted me asking how i was and when she would see me again, and im pretty sure his sister doesnt care that much to see me lol, so im guessing he asked her, so i was like fuvk it ill come over and she told me she will be home around 10 pm, so im going over see whatsup the sextile is today between the sun and saturn - i will see what happens and if anybody cares ill give another update

Thank you for the update
 

Januarystorm

Well-known member
People i am back with my update! A couple of things have been revealed to me, although i feel i still do not have all the information and i am missing something.

Lets see what i did find out:

1. The girl he called was his friend that apparently just broke up with her boyfriend and she has been constantly calling him ever since, crying over the phone and asking him for advice, he has great empathy and wants to support her, although its irritating him more and more everyday and he is kinda done w her because she only think about herself and never even asks him how he is doing anymore. They are not romantically involved nor does he find her attractive.

My opinion on this: So his mother told me this, i believe it. This man is a leo ascendant with a venus-neptune conjunction, he very much is sensitive, empathic and wanting to help people- i like that- i just dont like the weirdness around it, why not just tell me honestly what is going on instead of doing it sneaky like that. He does have mars in the first- in placidus its in the first- his first house is leo and a piece of cancer, so mars- in cancer Is fallen, from what i have read about this position, these people have difficulty confronting things head on- sounds exactly like him. ..i dont like this behaviour, myself as a mars in Sagittarius in the first, i confront EVERYTHING head on- if i dont like something i speak it immediately, i am honest and i respect honesty- however inconvenient it may be and if i want something i go for it. Im beginning to understand that is not how mars in cancer behaves…at all….at all at all.



2. Why did he not call me those days?
So the second big thing i have discovered is, his mother plays a waaaaay more bigger role in our relationship than i previously thought- like his mother literally TELLS HIM WHAT HE SHOULD AND SHOULD NOT DO. His mother is also smart and good in understanding the psychology of human relationships (she is a libra asc- she knows her relationship shiz) she knew if he would call me obsessively every single day i would get on my high horse again and you know she is right, i would have done that, it would have made me MORE self-righteous than i already am, which trust me i as a sagittarius ascendant i need to chill with the self-righteousness NOT amp it up….so she knows me well what can i say. She is doing this clearly to help and she wants us to be together, i think she knows her son and he needs someone thats reliable, practical, not too wishy washy and DEFINITELY someone realistic- which is literally who i am! so he didnt just not contact me for weeks, he knew exactly what was going on because i was talking to his mother every single day- she was the one that actually kept contacted me in that time, so he knew what was up w me, and i know that because he asked me about some things i only discussed with her in that time- it wasnt a secret but still- he knows everything
e.


3. I have come over a couple of times, he was there and his face literally was SO HAPPY when he saw me, but im still kinda acting distant because for the love of god i dont know what to do next with this. His mother told me he was planning on getting me this gift for Christmas, which i am spending with his family. I told her that i only want one gift- being HONEST WITH ME ABOUT EVERYTHING sheeeeshhhh

So what do you guys think? Does the horary in any way indicate the friend breaking up and calling him for advice AND that his mother is soooooo heavily involved in our relationship and has way more influence than i thought?

Oh yeah and by the way
Double update!

I did go over for the first time since the argument during the sun saturn sextile- if i had not gone then, i wouldnt have all this new information and i wouldnt be going there regularly again. As the aspect indicated, he was way more excited and eager to talk, touch me ‘accidentally’, look at me and so on. I was allowing it with a smile but i didnt go overboard and still kept a bit of distance because i still was irritated at the phone-situation- but i definitely was also very happy to see him!
 
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IleneK

Premium Member
The question was, "Is it over between us?" not "What is going on between this other girl and him?" So I don't think the chart speaks much about what the details you are asking to see now. Especially since nothing was going on. You just thought there was [you as Saturn received him poorly and were mostly self-involved, with your significator, Saturn, dignified and in your own/1st house].

The chart did say there was good opportunity for you to get back together if you are interested/willing to talk things through and let him explain what was and is going on. And if you were not totally angry at what he says or how he says it.
Sounds like that was pretty accurate. You heard him out, and he was glad, and you report you are glad.
And that is what in fact the chart told us about the question you asked.

If you want answers to the other questions you raise, I think you can legitimately cast another chart, esp about the mom.
 
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katydid

Well-known member
I have a question, but it woukldntg show up in the chart above.

But you might want to ask yourself, do you want to get seriously involved in a relationship where your mother-in-law would be the one in charge? :pouty:
 

Januarystorm

Well-known member
I have a question, but it woukldntg show up in the chart above.

But you might want to ask yourself, do you want to get seriously involved in a relationship where your mother-in-law would be the one in charge? :pouty:

I do not have any problem with his mother taking charge in this situation, men can be stupid and insecure at times. It has been my experience that that combination can make any problematic situation and make it seven thousand times worse. I feel better knowing there is an experienced older normal sensible person that actually cares for his well being giving him advice- i just didnt KNOW she was SO involved because we havent been together for so long and to me its important not to rush things and take things very slowly- so to be honest- i didnt expect our relationship to be so ‘important’ to him …YET ok, YET- the yet is the word to focus on here, not YET ok! so asking his mom for help sounds he is more serious than i would have guessed BUT on the other more positive hand i now understand how serious he actually is and its making me re-evaluate things for myself

So in a weird way this situation showed me something important i actually needed to know???? Why does this always happen
 

IleneK

Premium Member
Sun conj mercury says it's over
I am not certain it necessarily spells that the relationship is over?
Following the whole unfolding of OP's story in this thread, it may be that Merc conjunct the Sun is another person involved, perhaps his mother? or the friend? Perhaps an intervention, if the mother? Or a friend in need?
I wonder what you might think about this possibility?
 
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