DearGeminiGrl,
Thanks for your post...As I understand this was not really correct girl for me,RİGHT?
Do you see any future in this relation? What I should do?
I officially left her and happened 4 days and no feedback....and yes I suffer....
I subscribe to the idea that just because the synastry between two charts is challenging, that doesn't mean that these two people are "not really correct" for each other. Relationships between two people in which the challenging aspects are as high (or very nearly) as the favorable ones create a lot of drama -- and simply put, some people WANT that. It could be that some of these people grew up with this -- they feel comfortable with this because it's familiar. In fact, your partner's natal chart with Mars in the fourth house suggests that
she actually might be one of these people herself -- and with both Venus and Mars square Pluto in your natal chart, my guess is that you find that you end up experiencing drama in your relationships (mostly in the form of power struggles) whether you want to or not. Relationships like this can be very exciting, but they also tend to be very stressful.
A relationship in which there's a lot of attraction but also a lot of challenge can help one or both people involved grow and evolve emotionally as well -- provided that this is what they really want and that they're willing to put the necessary effort into it. I think this was definitely true in my case with the man I spoke of whose Sun and Mars activated my eighth house. I think that being with him -- or to be more specific,
breaking up with him! -- forced me to learn some important lessons and to mature spiritually in what I consider some very significant and positive ways which I might not have otherwise. (I frankly think relationships which involve the water houses -- the fourth, the eighth, and the twelfth -- in one or both people are particularly prone to this because activating one or more of these houses triggers intense emotional needs and feelings and in the case of the twelfth house, needs and feelings they might not even know they have.) Our overlay chart had a lot (really, a LOT) of strong positive aspects -- but even that wasn't enough to keep up together. At least for me, the breakup (which was my choice) was abrupt and painful and bitter and unfortunately necessary -- I did learn a lot from it but the price was high, because nothing that valuable ever comes easy or cheaply. That being said, in my opinion and experience, Neptune conflicts (which he and I had and which you have with this woman) can be even more difficult to deal with than Saturn conflicts -- because Saturn will
never lie to you, whereas Neptune can and frequently will lie to you.
I notice that part of you continues to hold onto some hope that you might still be able to have a future with this woman. This appears to confirm my speculation (based on the charts) that at least on your end, the attraction is very powerful. I think whether there is hope for the two of you -- or any couple, really -- depends very much on what the two of you want individually as well as collectively, how honest you're willing to be with yourselves both as individuals and as a couple about the challenges you face (which can be difficult when Neptune is involved), and how much you are able and willing to change while still maintaining the boundaries that you need in order to maintain your own well-being. However, on the whole, I'm not terribly optimistic.
You've already said that one of the reasons why you broke up with this woman is because she has lied to you but you didn't specify what she lied to you about. From the sound of it, she's also either denying or justifying her own behavior (which suggests that she's lying to herself as well as to you) or else feels expresses little or or no regret over it and/or sees no reason to change. As it happens, I ended the relationship I mentioned before because I found out that my partner had been lying to me from the day we met -- they were lies of commission rather than omission (meaning that he told me things which turned out to be false rather than merely withholding pertinent information) and they were about fairly serious issues. I don't think anyone should invest themselves emotionally in a person who has a habit of lying, because lying eats away at the trust which is the core foundation of an intimate relationship -- you're not going to open up and get close to someone whom you have reason to believe you can't or shouldn't trust. There were aspects in your overlay and composite charts which indicated that deception is a risk factor in this relationship. In order for the two of you to have a decent chance at a future, she would need to make a commitment to be honest regardless of what reasons she might have for wanting to lie. Like it or not, she's the only one who can decide whether to do that or not -- even if she wants to change, you cannot
make her do it. With natal Venus square Pluto in your own natal chart, there's part of you that very much
wants to control her and get her to change...but treating other people that way implies that they're possessions or prisoners or puppets and not really people, which is not productive. In order for this relationship to have a chance, I think you would need to accept the fact that you'll probably always be at least a bit more emotionally invested in this relationship than she is -- as I pointed out before, her personal planets hit you in very vulnerable houses but you don't have quite the same level of impact on her. You would also need to be patient with her and let her have space when she needs it (which you might not want to do) because her chart suggests that deep down, she's ambivalent about really getting close to another person even though she wants it. Finally, something which I strongly urge you to do for yourself -- as someone who has both Neptune and Saturn conjunct his Ascendant (and whose Sun is squared by his Neptune) -- is to work on viewing the world less through the lens of Neptune and more through the lens of Saturn especially in your dealings with other people. Both Neptune and Saturn have a very strong emphasis in my own chart -- I know how hard it can be to find a balance between them, because in most respects they could not possibly be more different from each other, but I think you're better served letting your Saturn be your primary guide with Neptune acting as an adjunct rather than the other way around.