brunetto
Member
So I met this guy a few months ago at a very special place – high up in the mountains during a meditation retreat – and the first time our eyes met, *boom* I felt an electrical shock going through my body. I didn't think much about it at the time because he really wasn't my type. After another chance meeting though, I sensed that I was attracted to him (I later found out the attraction was mutual). However, after a really short date, we decided there is something more to this and decided to exchange numbers and keep in touch. We have quite a lot in common, us being both vegetarians and sharing the same faith. There was also a lot of synchronicity in how we came to meet each other, so there is this sense that we were meant to be together (composite 8th house Sun?), though for what purpose I do not know. Deep down I just felt like we have an important mission to accomplish together.
Fast forward a month and we're in a long distance relationship, after he returned to his home country at the end of the retreat. It was beautiful in the beginning, we chatted everyday and had so much fun cracking jokes. I loved that we share the same sense of humour, and he was really attentive and vocal about his feelings for me. Soon, we began talking about how we can live closer together and the discussion evolved into marriage, which was when we decided to get married. I'm actually a total commitment-phobe but somehow this just felt right, I was scared to death but at the same time, ecstatic.
Then the problems started revealing themselves, we were constantly arguing and there were issues with communication, due to language barriers and also differences in personality. We also have differing ideas about work (me expecting the man to be the sole breadwinner after marriage but he wants me to continue working) and sex (I wanted to save myself for the marriage but he feels it is an irrational decision). These arguments would come and go, with us talking it out but never really finding a solution. Oftentimes when I bring up an issue, he would turn the issue around and say I was the one caused it or that I also do whatever I accused him of doing (e.g. "You've hurt me." was met with "You hurt me too." I don't think his Jupiter on my Chiron is helps aargh). This made me feel like he doesn't listen and I felt so... like I'm a mute (his Mars /Pluto on my DSC?). Our arguments tend to go round in circles, with him defending his point of view and me, mine, both unable to see past the issues clouding the deeper problem at hand. He's very stubborn and expects me to change my ideas, instead of finding a middle ground.
Despite this, we still wanted to give the relationship a shot and decided to put these differences on hold while we get to know each other better. He flew to my home country recently and we had a really nice week together, except for one major argument. It felt really comfortable and things felt natural, we'd happily spend time together doing stuff or just staying in for a movie.
After he left though, things have been going downhill. I've been feeling insecure about our relationship, not only because of the physical distance but also emotionally, because of our difference in needs. He's recently said he wanted kids even though I don't want any, and this has created another major stumbling block in the relationship. I feel like it is an uphill climb being together due to the many challenges we face, so I'm wondering if I should cut my losses early and move one. My head says yes, but I can't quite resolve the feeling that we were meant to be, and I keep wondering why life has brought us together, what lessons /purpose this relationship holds, what I might potentially lose if I walk away now.
Any insights /advice would be greatly appreciated, I've been studying astrology for many years now but I'm not very confident in my interpretation so I'm hoping for some objectivity here. Thank you, please let me know if I've missed anything, my mind is in brain fog today
Fast forward a month and we're in a long distance relationship, after he returned to his home country at the end of the retreat. It was beautiful in the beginning, we chatted everyday and had so much fun cracking jokes. I loved that we share the same sense of humour, and he was really attentive and vocal about his feelings for me. Soon, we began talking about how we can live closer together and the discussion evolved into marriage, which was when we decided to get married. I'm actually a total commitment-phobe but somehow this just felt right, I was scared to death but at the same time, ecstatic.
Then the problems started revealing themselves, we were constantly arguing and there were issues with communication, due to language barriers and also differences in personality. We also have differing ideas about work (me expecting the man to be the sole breadwinner after marriage but he wants me to continue working) and sex (I wanted to save myself for the marriage but he feels it is an irrational decision). These arguments would come and go, with us talking it out but never really finding a solution. Oftentimes when I bring up an issue, he would turn the issue around and say I was the one caused it or that I also do whatever I accused him of doing (e.g. "You've hurt me." was met with "You hurt me too." I don't think his Jupiter on my Chiron is helps aargh). This made me feel like he doesn't listen and I felt so... like I'm a mute (his Mars /Pluto on my DSC?). Our arguments tend to go round in circles, with him defending his point of view and me, mine, both unable to see past the issues clouding the deeper problem at hand. He's very stubborn and expects me to change my ideas, instead of finding a middle ground.
Despite this, we still wanted to give the relationship a shot and decided to put these differences on hold while we get to know each other better. He flew to my home country recently and we had a really nice week together, except for one major argument. It felt really comfortable and things felt natural, we'd happily spend time together doing stuff or just staying in for a movie.
After he left though, things have been going downhill. I've been feeling insecure about our relationship, not only because of the physical distance but also emotionally, because of our difference in needs. He's recently said he wanted kids even though I don't want any, and this has created another major stumbling block in the relationship. I feel like it is an uphill climb being together due to the many challenges we face, so I'm wondering if I should cut my losses early and move one. My head says yes, but I can't quite resolve the feeling that we were meant to be, and I keep wondering why life has brought us together, what lessons /purpose this relationship holds, what I might potentially lose if I walk away now.
Any insights /advice would be greatly appreciated, I've been studying astrology for many years now but I'm not very confident in my interpretation so I'm hoping for some objectivity here. Thank you, please let me know if I've missed anything, my mind is in brain fog today