love-thinking
Well-known member
Hello everyone
I just wanted a discussion about something I've come to a realization of.
Every single facet of my life, I feel like I'm at a war with and it never ends nor do I ever get it right.
Career - I chose a hard career and I'm always panicking about something or the other. It's one of those careers where you are either ALL or NOTHING. Someone of significance or disposable.
Boys - I've went my full way and did disgusting things to please my love interests, travelled through cities, gifts, you name it. Nothing came out of it.
Siblings - They'll never really love me because they weren't raised with me. One has an odd temperament, and I've helped and invested A LOT in.. All I get in return is low effort, and unvirtuous ways of life from their part. They're self destructive but I still love my brothers.
Parents - That is a ******* joke in my life. They die, betray or are hard to please or all three.
Friends- My friends used to treat me like a door mat but I found better friends. But at the moment, that's the only thing I don't worry about (unless it's their well-being but not our relationship)
Beauty/body - Moment I start eating as much as the common person, I gain weight. I lift weights to gain muscle, I gain acne. I gotta stick to cardio. The moment I feel comfortable in my own skin, someone points out my flaw like nobody wants me to genuinely be happy. I have had eating disorder and still do. My low metabolism is not going to allow me to be healthy and normal.
I feel like regarding every situation in my life, I approach in panicky ways. I am always on edge. When I get comfortable with it, I'm put in a very hard situation. I am not a control freak. This is just circumstances I've adapted to navigate.
Also, this year I've been put in crisis situations after crisis situations. Situations brought out the worst in me. I feel like I'm being tested, morally, physically, spiritually. I am not even in a pluto transit.
I came up with this through much introspection. I just want advice. What I'm doing is not working. Whether it be astrological advice, spiritual advice, anything you got. Am I meant for this life? And if so, how do I navigate?
I just wanted a discussion about something I've come to a realization of.
Every single facet of my life, I feel like I'm at a war with and it never ends nor do I ever get it right.
Career - I chose a hard career and I'm always panicking about something or the other. It's one of those careers where you are either ALL or NOTHING. Someone of significance or disposable.
Boys - I've went my full way and did disgusting things to please my love interests, travelled through cities, gifts, you name it. Nothing came out of it.
Siblings - They'll never really love me because they weren't raised with me. One has an odd temperament, and I've helped and invested A LOT in.. All I get in return is low effort, and unvirtuous ways of life from their part. They're self destructive but I still love my brothers.
Parents - That is a ******* joke in my life. They die, betray or are hard to please or all three.
Friends- My friends used to treat me like a door mat but I found better friends. But at the moment, that's the only thing I don't worry about (unless it's their well-being but not our relationship)
Beauty/body - Moment I start eating as much as the common person, I gain weight. I lift weights to gain muscle, I gain acne. I gotta stick to cardio. The moment I feel comfortable in my own skin, someone points out my flaw like nobody wants me to genuinely be happy. I have had eating disorder and still do. My low metabolism is not going to allow me to be healthy and normal.
I feel like regarding every situation in my life, I approach in panicky ways. I am always on edge. When I get comfortable with it, I'm put in a very hard situation. I am not a control freak. This is just circumstances I've adapted to navigate.
Also, this year I've been put in crisis situations after crisis situations. Situations brought out the worst in me. I feel like I'm being tested, morally, physically, spiritually. I am not even in a pluto transit.
I came up with this through much introspection. I just want advice. What I'm doing is not working. Whether it be astrological advice, spiritual advice, anything you got. Am I meant for this life? And if so, how do I navigate?