Is it my fault I keep getting bullied?

This question has been in the back of my mind for years and I had a strong urge to ask.

All my life I've been bullied by others whether it was girls at school, the employees at my previous company I worked years ago, or even my family members, especially my mother and older brother. It's mainly other women targeting me.

I wonder, if I'm too sensitive, or what could make me such an easy target? I don't see others in my old school or work get targeted so badly and I didn't report it.

At school I didn't speak out about a group of girls being really cruel to me. Even in university, there was one girl giving me a really hard time. In the company I worked for years ago, the group of women and a few men gave me a bloody hard time to the point where I thought they were very immature to act that way. But the sad thing is even my mother and older brother bully me. My mother still to this day enjoys insulting me. She smiles when she makes me upset. It makes her feel good about herself.

I'm just wondering what is wrong with me. What does the chart say? And where is it heading?

The Sun being in the 1st house represents a question of some significance?

There's a lot of planets in my 12th house of secrets. Do I keep it to myself and that is the problem? I do speak out to these bullies, but it just makes it worse.

The moon in my 11th house I'm thinking of friendships.

With Virgo rising, I'm Mercury in my 12th house so I have kept this to myself?

I think your natal chart is going to give you more of the answers. This chart does show a very sensitive moon in Cancer, but it's void of the course, suggesting that you don't feel much can be done about your situation.

This chart shows a lot of action in the 12th house of secret enemies (the ones you don't know about) but your post describes enemies you do know about, a 7th house matter.

Of course, it's not your fault if people behave badly to you. If your mother bullied you as a child and you were taught to respect her, you may have grown up being deferential to authority figures like teachers or older kids, and this pattern of behaviour continued into adulthood. If you were taught as a child that it wasn't OK to express assertive, let alone dominant behaviour, you may have suppressed those tendencies within yourself. Then you attract people to you who seemingly embody the unwanted characteristics. (A little Jungian psychology here: you might look up his ideas on "shadow" material and psychological projection.)

I would like to see your natal chart, because I suspect you've got something going on with your natal sun, Pluto, or Mars that inhibits you from sticking up for yourself-- in a responsible way, of course.

Meanwhile, see if you can develop some inoffensive but clear responses to the bullies, whether it's Mom or your co-workers. If you Google "being bullied at work" you'll find some interesting articles.

You may be able to develop a few good rejoinders, like:

"Well, I'm sorry that you feel that way."

"You're not trying to bully me with that remark, are you?"

"Gosh, I haven't heard that type of insult since I was a kid on the playground."

"I like you, too, Mary. That colour really looks good on you."

Of course, the above may be totally inappropriate for your situation-- they're only meant as illustrations.

If you have it within you to develop a sense of humour with quick come-backs, that will often diffuse a situation.

If the situation is more serious, like actual harassment, you probably need to make an appointment with your supervisor-- or her supervisor-- to discuss the problem, how it violates company policy, &c. But tread cautiously, if the boss is actually one of the ringleaders.

you are in your own 12th house, sometimes people feel they are being picked on but just attract dominant types because they themselves are retiring.

i agree that it's not right to say it's someone's fault that they are bullied, and also agree that natal chart might help.

I'm sorry if you are feeling you are being bullied. I've been there too.

Some would say your natal Sun is very challenged by it's opposition to Saturn and Pluto but every aspect has 2 sides and those same oppositions give you very strong attributes in areas you choose to develop and use. (Think super resistance!)

Your Moon is the most active point in your natal chart (found in another post) squaring your MC and Mars and trining Jupiter and Uranus along with a sextile to Venus. That Venus is also in opposition to Jupiter and Uranus. To me these squares and oppositions are positive as I judge aspects by the planets and/or points involved in them.

Lily1983 said:

... I just need something to hold onto. Hope.

I know horary isn't always correct. I have nothing to hide. And yes I kept posting horary charts about finding love because I'm so desperate for someone to love me back.

Click to expand...

You seem to have freedom to move around. Perhaps some day a visit to Toledo, OH or in the area within about a 200 mile radius of it might prove to be enjoyable.

Best wishes.

unique_astrology said:

Some would say your natal Sun is very challenged by it's opposition to Saturn and Pluto but every aspect has 2 sides and those same oppositions give you very strong attributes in areas you choose to develop and use. (Think super resistance!)

Click to expand...

I also learned that oppositions don't dilute the strength of the two planets. So that is a strength it seems. I also have heard that if there is a saturn opposition to the sun that that would be worse in the first half of one's life, maybe due to progressions? Or because someone is an adult and may have learned some saturn lessons? I don't know.

Thank you. Some say my natal ascendant is in Leo while others say it's in Cancer. Why is that? Is it on the borderline of both?

No, it will be one or the other. However, it might be in one of the last degrees of Cancer or first degrees of Leo. Have you got an accurate birth time? If not, however, you may not be able to get an accurate ascendant sign and degree.

Lily1983 said:

Thank you. Some say my natal ascendant is in Leo while others say it's in Cancer. Why is that? Is it on the borderline of both?

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Your chart shown at your link and my image of it.

http://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showpost.php?p=330546&postcount=1

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Lily1983 said:

Here is my natal chart.

Click to expand...

Thanks, unique_astrology.

Lily, everyone born in 1983 (and 1947) will have the Saturn and Pluto conjunction. Some people have it safely tucked out of the way, but yours are opposite your sun.

Because the sun is a major "me" point in the horoscope, planets opposite the sun are easily disowned as "not me." You may feel an aversion to personal qualities of bullying, dominance, and criticism, and try to suppress these tendencies in your own personality. But the horoscope will manifest in some fashion, so if you do not express the qualities of Pluto and Saturn in your own life, you will tend to attract to you people who will express Pluto's and Saturn's negative qualities.

The third house rules communication, including office gossip. It also rules your siblings, which is where your brother's behavior comes in.

You also mentioned bullying from your mother. The moon symbolizes your mother, and it also squares Mars and Pluto.

Of course, the moon also symbolizes your emotions. My daughter (b 1983) and ex-husband (b 1947) also have your Pluto-Saturn conjunction; and my ex's moon was involved with his Saturn-Pluto as well. In my experience, this suggests that you may be prone to very dark moods. You may feel that you're moderately upset for a legitimate reason, but others will probably read your moods as deeply angry and hard to cope with.

So see what you can do in your life to own and express your inner Pluto in a positive way: the capacity for profound self-transformation. Similarly, Saturn can positively mean your capacity for self-discipline. Mars is your innate assertiveness and aggression, but it also rules athletics, so taking up a fitness activity is usually a good way to express Mars.

Bullying by others is never your fault. But hopefully you can draw more upon your own inner strengths to own and manifest the positive potential of your troublesome planets.

Thank you. I will work on this!