Getting along with someone completely different

There is one person, with whom I'd like to get along better, hoping we'd understand each others better, and perhaps be closer and more in contact. And I thought I could try to see if I can find any help for this situation from astrology. I don't know her exact birth time (and I certainly can NOT ask it), but based on the date she has:

Sun in Scorpio
Moon in Virgo
Mercury in Scorpio
Venus in Capricorn
Mars in Virgo
Jupiter in Capricorn
Saturn in Virgo
Uranus in Cancer
Neptune in Libra
Pluto in Leo

Her rising sign could be scorpio.

Could someone try to interprete that? I know that it is difficult to say anything based on just the signs without birth time and place, but what kind of person do you see? What would be the best way to try to approach this person?

And the completely different part I already mentioned... well, my chart. :?

Missa said:

There is one person, with whom I'd like to get along better, hoping we'd understand each others better, and perhaps be closer and more in contact. And I thought I could try to see if I can find any help for this situation from astrology. I don't know her exact birth time (and I certainly can NOT ask it), but based on the date she has:

Sun in Scorpio
Moon in Virgo
Mercury in Scorpio
Venus in Capricorn
Mars in Virgo
Jupiter in Capricorn
Saturn in Virgo
Uranus in Cancer
Neptune in Libra
Pluto in Leo

Her rising sign could be scorpio.

Could someone try to interprete that? I know that it is difficult to say anything based on just the signs without birth time and place, but what kind of person do you see? What would be the best way to try to approach this person?

And the completely different part I already mentioned... well, my chart. :?

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The impression I get from the planetary placements is that it takes a lot for her to like someone. She has high standards (Moon and Mars in Vir, Venus in Cap) for who she associates with. She likes deep, profound people who are responsible and trustworthy. She probably gives off a hard to get along with air, or she may appear as demure and pedantic. She probably is self-doubting and is unsure of herself.

Could you post her chart? It would be more accurately read if we could see the aspects, even without the house positions.

Or if it's easier, you can post the natal data here or PM it to me if privacy is an issue...I can create/upload the chart and black out the personal information, if you wish

Aquarian Maverick

Missa said:

What would be the best way to try to approach this person? And the completely different part I already mentioned...

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Missa--

This is really tough of you, trying to get along with somebody this different from yourself.

I think sam gave a great thumbnail of what this person would be like. In some respects, she's very fragile and frightened of people -- "If you don't play by my rules, I'm just going to take my ball and go home--" that's Scorpio. But sam gave a better overall description.

Mainly, the problem is, you are too friendly! This person just isn't going to understand why you're being so friendly to her!

I would think you would do best by getting alongside her and impressing her with your deeds, rather than trying to have a long chat. This is somebody who judges people according to what they accomplish and how they accomplish it. sam's probably right -- don't make her feel you are better than she is.

-- C Jayne

I'm amazed how well you can describe a person just based on those signs. And some people say astrology doesn't work...

I'm usually good with people, and I've been doing exactly what C Jayne said, trying to have a long chat with her. The problem is that it hasn't worked the way I hoped (which you probably figured out already), she doesn't really seem to be a talkative person, and I've been wondering why I can't get closer and what should I do in a different way. I don't really like bragging about my deeds, it doesn't feel natural... Here is her chart.

Oh my!

Well, I can see why you find it difficult to get a long with this person. You balance (Libra) and she exaggerates (Scorpio). On need excitement (Aries) and she needs to stop and thing (Virgo).

Besides, you have very hard opposition between Sun/Mercury and the Moon giving you a lot of conflicts within your personality, while she has trines and sextiles with her chart making her comfortable with who she is and what she wants from life.

I do not think that you guys can be "best friends", but if you keep the relationship at a distance, your ASC and MC can help you relate to her. But a deep or meaningful conversation can have you blowing up at each other's faces. She'll provoke you and you'll get angry!

Then again, it's a fate versus free will issue. Natal charts are potential chart not destiny charts. I suppose you can just keep in mind that different isn't bad, keep your personal lives separated from one another and go for it.

sorehearted said:

Oh my!

Well, I can see why you find it difficult to get a long with this person. You balance (Libra) and she exaggerates (Scorpio). On need excitement (Aries) and she needs to stop and thing (Virgo).

Besides, you have very hard opposition between Sun/Mercury and the Moon giving you a lot of conflicts within your personality, while she has trines and sextiles with her chart making her comfortable with who she is and what she wants from life.

I do not think that you guys can be "best friends", but if you keep the relationship at a distance, your ASC and MC can help you relate to her. But a deep or meaningful conversation can have you blowing up at each other's faces. She'll provoke you and you'll get angry!

Then again, it's a fate versus free will issue. Natal charts are potential chart not destiny charts. I suppose you can just keep in mind that different isn't bad, keep your personal lives separated from one another and go for it.

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Blowing up at each other's faces has already been near, but I was able to control myself. She was being too sure that her way is the only way and judging my ways based on that, if she had been a stranger I would have probably said a word or two... but I knew that if I start arguing with her there won't be return. She seems to be the kind of person who doesn't forgive or forget, and I tend to exaggerate when I'm angry which certainly doesn't make things any better, so I forced myself to be quiet...

This relationship is kind of hard to explain, it is just something I don't want to give up easily, and I certainly want it to get better. There are people who dislike her and are trying to drive us apart, and I don't appreciate that people try to use me as a tool in their personal conflicts. She doesn't, but these other people do. Ok, this is probably beginning to sound weird. I know there are big differences there, which is why I asked help in the first place, I don't think the situation is hopeless because I have lots of virgo and scorpio on my chart, the problem is that she doesn't have much air or fire and my enthusiasm is something she doesn't get and thinks I'm "unrealistic". :roll: I think there are many similarities in us, and in many ways I can understand her and she seems to like me, but to find those we have to overcome the differences. Is there anyone who has a similar chart like her, or someone you know who does, maybe you could give some advices?

relationships

Missa,

You have Venus (relationships) focused in the 1rst house (being, also action). People with Venus in the first house may tend to want to "conquer" in their relationships. The goal is to "get" that relationship and then, afterwards, they may lose interest in it. It is possible that this woman has become a relationship you feel you have to "get".

This woman has Uranus (friends, also rebellion) opposite (energy is over-excited by) Venus (relationships), indicating that she tends to be more "friends" in relationships, close but not TOO close. In addition, it suggests that she also rebels strongly to people who attempt to relate too closely to her.

You very well may have over-stepped her "friends" boundary and attempted to get "TOO close" in her eyes. As a result she senses (correctly?) that you want to "conquer" her in getting into a friendly relationship with her. Instead, back WAY off, talk to her every now and then, and see if you can get to be a "distant acquaintance." From there you might be able to work your way up to a "friend".

One thing about Capricorn (duty, also structure, authority) modifying Venus energy, this energy NEEDS to be the authority in the relationship and "call the shots". One thing about Scorpio (transformation, also power, control) modifying Sun (self-expression) energy, this energy HAS to be in control of the situation...and very early on decides what and who is worth its time...and what and who is not.

Be nice, back off, and let this person make up their mind about you and a possible friendly relationship. And, if this person decides for some reason they DON'T want to be friends with you, you will NOT be friends, no matter how nice you are to her.

Relating,

Tim

Ah, I knew I should have been more specific to avoid misunderstandings. This situation is just really difficult to explain. We see each others maybe 0-2 times in a year, plus I occasionally might send her a text messages/call her. So no I don’t think I’m too pushy, I don’t want to “conquer” people and then forget them (no I’m not that cruel). It is she who has kept contact to me for years, and during the past few years I’ve visited her several times. However, last time the whole atmosphere just seemed colder, and it seemed like there were some misunderstandings, and I’ve been wondering what the hell I can do about it since then, especially if I see her again this summer. :|

Hello Missa,

Ah, I knew I should have been more specific to avoid misunderstandings. This situation is just really difficult to explain. We see each others maybe 0-2 times in a year, plus I occasionally might send her a text messages/call her.

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I can see that just from the fact that there is a big age difference between the two of you here....Her chart is for somebody who was born more or less in 1949, whereas your chart is for someone who was born around 1985.

I would very much appreciate if you could give us the data of both of you, and perhaps tell us what kind of relationship it is...

Blumen

Need to talk

Missa,

Thanks for clearning up the background of the situation. In my opinion, there comes a time when people need to "talk things out". Since you already know this person, contact them, mention your concerns, and see what she has to say. It may be "much ado about nothing" or it might be some issue she has. The only way to know is to ask.

Suggesting talking over astrologizing,

Tim

Missa said:

I'm amazed how well you can describe a person just based on those signs. And some people say astrology doesn't work...

I'm usually good with people, and I've been doing exactly what C Jayne said, trying to have a long chat with her... I've been wondering why I can't get closer and what should I do in a different way.

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Missa--

My mother, my brother, and my neighbor all have Virgo Marses, like you and your sort-of friend. Two out of those three have a tendency to -- forgive me for being blunt -- crab about things they don't plan to actually change, crabbing for the sake of crabbing. So I would say, that's where you and this other person might find common ground.

Like your sort-of friend, I have an earth sign Mercury. I'll tell you what can drive people like us crazy about air Mercurys. They chat. Instead of having serious conversations, they chat. Light, social interaction, often with lots of unnecessary detail, conversations that lead nowhere. (I have Moon in Aries, can you tell?)

Okay, so I didn't really mean you should brag, when I said you should impress her. Just work hard, shoulder to shoulder with her, so she'll know you are a substantial person. She'll notice, you don't have to tell her.

If you were to ask her advice, it should be about something substantial -- money, or how to do something (cook, manage situations, etc.). Asking advice can be a good way to nurture a relationship.

Or else, find an area she likes to crab about, and let her crab, or crab with her.

Does that help?

-- C Jayne

blumen said:

Hello Missa,

I would very much appreciate if you could give us the data of both of you, and perhaps tell us what kind of relationship it is...

Blumen

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I can't give out the data, but in short, she is a distant relative who doesn't keep contact to anyone else in the family because of old arguments, I'm the only person she is still in contact. Some people don't like it and try to turn me against her, but I won't let that happen.

Thank you for the advices. So I'll cut down unnecessary chatting at least, it doesn't lead the situation anywhere, though it'll be difficult for a multiple air sign. The work part should be easy since I can be quite productive when I'm doing something that means something to me. I know these sort of situations can only be dealt between two people, but this particular situation is quite difficult so I thought I'd try to see if I can find better ways to approach her, and I believe I just did.

Scorpio - Virgo - Cancer - Capricorn

If you wanted to create a non-communicative, intensely private, guarded person, this is the ideal combination! This person has her shields up as a way of life. She may be so locked down inside that she 's forgotten or doesn't know how to come out of the shell. That's one way to read this combination -- and it appears that this is the expression of these energies that this woman has chosen.

Intelligence... respect... a LOT of patience... as well as an acceptance on your part that it's ok for this woman to be who she is. She's much safer that way, you see, and it makes so much sense to always know what is going to happen next.... she must live within her ordered universe, it remains to be seen if she can share it or yield a micron of control of it...