12th house planets....not the end of the world

I read so much about how terrible 12th house planets are in composite charts.

I wonder if there is anyone else out there who has a really fantastic, solid, loving relationship while having planets in the 12th. Yes, there are challenges, but it doesn't spell DOOM.

My boyfriend and I have Pluto and Saturn in the 12th, have sun square moon and venus square mars. He's my best friend, biggest supporter and I genuinely feel like he is my team mate in life. I guess, I just want to show that just because something looks bad at first glance, doesn't mean it's the end of the world. It doesn't mean a relationship is unhealthy and going to lead you through hell. It just is what it is. Focus on the good and be aware of the not so good, but don't ever let it overwhelm your sense of proportion or create issues where there are none.

Yes, my bf and I also have quite a lot in the 12th house. I think the key is remaining grounded and never letting paranoia or unfounded fears take hold. We are very happy together, but I know that were either of of less mature, we would certainly be vulnerable to typical 12th house scenarios. With maturity most difficulties can be overcome. Many composites with heavy 12th also have many, many positives going for the couple so it's a matter of how well you deal with your own 12th house issues.

Agreed! To be fair, I am 31 and my boyfriend is 25 so I suppose that helps. And I am certainly not saying that we don't have issues. We definitely do from time to time and they are very much so Saturn/Pluto 12th house issues, but we handle them pretty deftly. I think our synastry goes a long way towards explaining that.

I'm so glad you started this thread! After researching about my own 12th house synastry/composite with my bf, I felt some what poop'd

My current boyfriend of 7 months and I have 12th house synastry.
My venus, merc, pluto falls into his 12th house. He also has his sun conjunct saturn there in his 12th house.
His pluto falls into my 12th house, widely conjunct my sun (6')

We do have Pluto Conjunct Sun DW (but both are pretty wide I guess...6 deg and 5 deg)


..and that's only our synastry.

In our composite, we have sun conjunct pluto exact degree in the 12th house. We also have a venus,mars,saturn stellium in the 1st house but it's squaring jupiter in the 4th (I guess that means it's a bad thing?? I duno) We also have composite moon in 8th house trining sun, pluto and merc.

The first thing ANYONE says about our composite is that it is not complimentary in anyway mainly because of subconscious control issues...but I have yet to see any controlling done in our relationship???

I think you guys are right in saying that it depends how "mature" the people are. If they aren't ready with facing their 12th house problems, they'll surely run away. This guy has sun conjunct saturn in scorpio and mars/jupiter in capricorn. On the surface, he is very happy-go-lucky and carefree (Saggy ASC) and also very cutesy-child-like (Moon in Aries). But there are times when he really puts his foot down and I get to see the real "core" of his being - the sun conjunct saturn. I think if someone has some "mature" aspects in their charts, they can handle the 12th house issues with others.

Both him and I have our suns in the 12th house natally. So in that case we can relate.

But I guess there IS something true for us about the 12th house - our relationship is hidden...that is because we met at work. We worked in the same department and our desks were literally just 10 feet away from each other. It felt really strange for us because we don't want people to know about our "forbidden" relationship, but at the same time we don't like having to hide each other from people...does that make sense? We talked about this issue and we both agreed we don't want to hide it..but it's necessary as our jobs are very important to us. We've both accepted it, and although we were in the same dept, we put our personal things behind and dealt with each other in a business-like manner. It is SUPER weird for us at first but we got used to it and handled it very well later till he got transferred to another department (not related to the issue of our relationship)

It's not that NO BODY in the job knows about us - we only tell friends/co-workers who are SUPER CLOSE to us, whom we 150% trust - Him being a scorpio, and me being a scorpio rising, heh...


Are any of your relationships "hidden"?

My boyfriend and I met at work as well! He was dating another person at the time and in truth he and I didn't begin to see each other for quite some time after we met.

Interestingly enough, my Sun and Mercury occupy his 12th house.

Interesting!!

My bf and I were both in a relationship when we met at work. We didn't really notice each other until we started interacting with each other for work related purposes. But when we hit it off, we hit it off FAST. I broke up with my bf of 4 years (which was a long distance relationship) for this guy, and he also broke up with his girlfriend of 2 yrs (also a long distance relationship) for me.

It was quick and we hit it off fast and hard. I blame this on our Venus / Uranus conjunction though. I'm Uranus, he is venus, orb is about 2 degrees or so.

We also have Saturn Conjunct Venus in synastry, it's a DW also, but my saturn conjunct his venus is at a much tighter orb than his.

How do you feel about 12th house "psychic"-ness? Can you sense each other's moods? I've heard often that when it comes to 12th house, it is EXTREMELY karmic and people can definitely "feel" each other without words and know what the other is thinking.

Have you experienced that?

I don't know about knowing what the other person is thinking, but I can GUESS what he is thinking. But we can both definitely feel each other's "mood" so-to-say. When I feel he is upset or angry, for some reason, I get the feeling like there are knots in my stomach, and that's when I back off of him, stop nagging/whining (lol), talk less, let him have his own space. When he feels I am upset or something's bothering me, I can sense him feeling a bit worried/uneasy. He tries to talk to me and ask me what's wrong even when I don't show it at all and hide all my problems behind my poker face.

We also have prominent Uranus in both of our charts as well as our composite. I think (strangely enough) that Uranus is the one of the stronger bonds that keeps us together. I guess that is because of our individual Uranian natures.

To address the question about psychic-ness, I'd say that he knows what's going on with me far more than the other way around. It's eerie sometimes how he calls out EXACTLY (as in using the same words running through my mind) what I am thinking. It's like I'm naked in front of him and can't hide anything. Luckily, I'm fine with this when it comes to him. So, I think that honor/luck goes to the individual that has their 12th house influenced by the other person.

I remember the first time I met him my first thought was 'Oh dear God, they hired another dumb kid to do this job. F*CK!' Once we started working together, it was his work ethic that attracted me, then his personality, then his sense of personal responsibility and accountability. He struck all the right chords to get this Capricorn purring and hasn't stopped since.

Haha, interestingly enough the first thing that attracted us were each others' work ethics.

Hm...I don't think I have much prominence of Uranus..but I do get the impression from alot of people that I'm very "changeable" and "flighty"...but I'm not!? I just need stimulation..lol

Our relationship is very strange, we are both from different cultural backgrounds. What's weird about me (that somehow my natal chart can't explain) is that all my past boyfriends were ALL from different cultural backgrounds than me. I've not dated ONCE a guy who's from the same culture as me. Strange eh?

12th house composite, when you guys first got sparks from each other, did you have the feeling that somehow you would be attracted to each other?

It was really strange for me at first..now, I'm not a believer in love at first sight..but this guy has got me questioning really hard!!!! Before we even officially collaborated, I would always pass by his cube to talk with a friend who sat behind him. I remember one time my friend was talking about him (cuz he was the new guy) and it somehow got me thinkin "ok, I guess this guy's cool" but at the same time wayyy deep in the back of my head I just couldn't pinpoint WHAT it was but I said to myself "I'm going to like-like this person"...it was a gut feeling. I didn't even know the dude yet at that point, I just pass by his cube every once in a while. He was super quiet at work and was literally confined to his desk (Scorpions at work I guess). Nobody in the department knew him or acknowledged him...except me. Then we got assigned to work on things together and finally we talked...about work at first then went on towards friendly talk. It only took us 2 weeks. But I have a feeling that he, just like me, knew it way beforehand too because when we talk back about it he said that it was "more than enough for me to know that I love you". It is super strange and all the friends that I tell this to are all shocked and dumbfounded because I'm not the type of person to fall into that "love at first sight" fairytale stuff!! And I still don't. I guess that's why he said the L-word way before I did...and still says it more than I do now.

I guess the best way to describe that feeling is "You had me at hello" - from the movie Jerry Mcguire

Is there some sort of fated-ness (for better or for worse - like they all say about these 12th house stuff) that you felt with your boyfriend?

Munch said:

We also have prominent Uranus in both of our charts as well as our composite. I think (strangely enough) that Uranus is the one of the stronger bonds that keeps us together. I guess that is because of our individual Uranian natures.

To address the question about psychic-ness, I'd say that he knows what's going on with me far more than the other way around. It's eerie sometimes how he calls out EXACTLY (as in using the same words running through my mind) what I am thinking. It's like I'm naked in front of him and can't hide anything. Luckily, I'm fine with this when it comes to him. So, I think that honor/luck goes to the individual that has their 12th house influenced by the other person.

I remember the first time I met him my first thought was 'Oh dear God, they hired another dumb kid to do this job. F*CK!' Once we started working together, it was his work ethic that attracted me, then his personality, then his sense of personal responsibility and accountability. He struck all the right chords to get this Capricorn purring and hasn't stopped since.

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Interesting, Munch. My bf and I have Uranus exactly conjunct asc in composite. It adds an electricity even though we've been together 2 plus years... we just excite each other and I never find him dull.

Starry~* said:

Haha, interestingly enough the first thing that attracted us were each others' work ethics.

Hm...I don't think I have much prominence of Uranus..but I do get the impression from alot of people that I'm very "changeable" and "flighty"...but I'm not!? I just need stimulation..lol

Our relationship is very strange, we are both from different cultural backgrounds. What's weird about me (that somehow my natal chart can't explain) is that all my past boyfriends were ALL from different cultural backgrounds than me. I've not dated ONCE a guy who's from the same culture as me. Strange eh?

12th house composite, when you guys first got sparks from each other, did you have the feeling that somehow you would be attracted to each other?

It was really strange for me at first..now, I'm not a believer in love at first sight..but this guy has got me questioning really hard!!!! Before we even officially collaborated, I would always pass by his cube to talk with a friend who sat behind him. I remember one time my friend was talking about him (cuz he was the new guy) and it somehow got me thinkin "ok, I guess this guy's cool" but at the same time wayyy deep in the back of my head I just couldn't pinpoint WHAT it was but I said to myself "I'm going to like-like this person"...it was a gut feeling. I didn't even know the dude yet at that point, I just pass by his cube every once in a while. He was super quiet at work and was literally confined to his desk (Scorpions at work I guess). Nobody in the department knew him or acknowledged him...except me. Then we got assigned to work on things together and finally we talked...about work at first then went on towards friendly talk. It only took us 2 weeks. But I have a feeling that he, just like me, knew it way beforehand too because when we talk back about it he said that it was "more than enough for me to know that I love you". It is super strange and all the friends that I tell this to are all shocked and dumbfounded because I'm not the type of person to fall into that "love at first sight" fairytale stuff!! And I still don't. I guess that's why he said the L-word way before I did...and still says it more than I do now.

I guess the best way to describe that feeling is "You had me at hello" - from the movie Jerry Mcguire

Is there some sort of fated-ness (for better or for worse - like they all say about these 12th house stuff) that you felt with your boyfriend?

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Yep, love at first sight here. Very disturbing at the time...

How did you guys end up together?

I wasn't sure if it's the 12th house synastry / composite that brought that "love at first sight" feeling or the fact that my bf's venus was conjunct my uranus...whatever it is, it literally turned my world upside down.

My bf has uranus in the 1st house.
I'm just a sun sextile uranus / moon sq uranus / jupiter trine uranus kind of weirdo. I guess I'm not as hardcore as all you other uranians

But getting back to 12th house karma and fated relationships..perhaps that's our composite sun conjunct pluto in 12th??

How would you guys interpret sun conjunct pluto in synastry? and what if it did fall into the 12th house? It's like...hidden crazy transformation? (or for worse - manipulation?)

I don't know what it is but when we spend time together I am SUPER FINE..normal. But when we are apart I usually am easily sad..frustrated..angry..lol

It's only been 7 months (not anywhere near LONG in my terms) but when we say goodbye, we always feel sad (not to sound childish but like..actually sad when we are apart)

I stay over on weekends at his place, and when monday comes up and it's time for work (back to reality) we always give the longest hugs...and he would always say stuff like "Will you be coming over tonight also...?" and "I miss you already.." and we just wouldn't wanna let go of each other (despite the fact that we already spent like 4 days together!! that's enough you'd think!?)

I've also read from someone else who had similar 12th house synastry experiences that when the couple are together, it's like they are in their own world...It's not reality but not necessarily fantasy either (well I guess some ppl might say it is fantasy) but it's just a whole different world..I can't explain it. I guess you can't really use words to describe 12th house relationships????

How's that sound to you guys? Do you feel the same? When you are together with your S.O. do you feel like you guys are kinda in your own world (NOT like..fantasy world cuz you guys still have problems to deal with) and that you feel no one else knows how you guys work on the inside? Like outsiders will see you guys the way you guys are but you feel that you don't REALLY know the relationship behind closed doors.

Starry~* said:

How did you guys end up together?

I wasn't sure if it's the 12th house synastry / composite that brought that "love at first sight" feeling or the fact that my bf's venus was conjunct my uranus...whatever it is, it literally turned my world upside down.

My bf has uranus in the 1st house.
I'm just a sun sextile uranus / moon sq uranus / jupiter trine uranus kind of weirdo. I guess I'm not as hardcore as all you other uranians

But getting back to 12th house karma and fated relationships..perhaps that's our composite sun conjunct pluto in 12th??

How would you guys interpret sun conjunct pluto in synastry? and what if it did fall into the 12th house? It's like...hidden crazy transformation? (or for worse - manipulation?)

I don't know what it is but when we spend time together I am SUPER FINE..normal. But when we are apart I usually am easily sad..frustrated..angry..lol

It's only been 7 months (not anywhere near LONG in my terms) but when we say goodbye, we always feel sad (not to sound childish but like..actually sad when we are apart)

I stay over on weekends at his place, and when monday comes up and it's time for work (back to reality) we always give the longest hugs...and he would always say stuff like "Will you be coming over tonight also...?" and "I miss you already.."

I've also read from someone else who had similar 12th house synastry experiences that when the couple are together, it's like they are in their own world...It's not reality but not necessarily fantasy either (well I guess some ppl might say it is fantasy) but it's just a whole different world..I can't explain it. I guess you can't really use words to describe 12th house relationships????

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Wow, where do I start? There is just so much that resonates. My bf and I (okay I know it sounds silly) actually feel like time slows way down when we are together...it just seems to linger in this haze of peace. We also have sun conjunct pluto and also conjunct venus and mercury... all very tightly. I feel that our composite Libra asc adds to the romance of it. Not to imply anything, but for us that pluto situation has worked out as our relationship breaking down 10 years ago (when we were first together) and then meeting suddenly, quite serendipitously in a foreign country...it's a long story...and that was two years ago, and we've been going strong ever since. But I have read that pluto conjunct sun can mean the relationship goes through several "lives" and is reborn somehow. Btw, we also met at work.

Sounds really fated!

Synastry wise Our Sun Conjunct Pluto isn't that tight though, 5' so I guess we might not account for so much of that aspect. However, We do have composite Sun Conjunct Pluto in 12th and it's exact.

It's funny how everyone's relationship start through work. Haha, did you have to keep it hush-hush?

Our composite sun is in scorpio and so is our composite ASC. I guess this relationship is suppose to be intense?

But I've also read that the composite 12th house also means the end of the relationship..or how the relationship ends will be shown in the 12th house. I don't know how to interpret that since we have our composite sun and pluto there.

If there are planets in the 12th then would that highlight the reason why it would end?? Or maybe it's just some bluff?

Starry~* said:

Sounds really fated!

Our Sun Conjunct Pluto isn't that tight though, 5' so I guess we might not account for so much of that aspect. That's only for our synastry though. We have composite Sun Conjunct Pluto in 12th and it's exact.

It's funny how everyone's relationship start through work. Haha, did you have to keep it a hush-hush?

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Not too much, but it felt kinda slippery, back then, hard to get a handle on...so many intense feeling right away, but very mysterious. We really weren't ready for such a loaded vibe.

Starry~* said:

Sounds really fated!

Synastry wise Our Sun Conjunct Pluto isn't that tight though, 5' so I guess we might not account for so much of that aspect. However, We do have composite Sun Conjunct Pluto in 12th and it's exact.

It's funny how everyone's relationship start through work. Haha, did you have to keep it hush-hush?

Our composite sun is in scorpio and so is our composite ASC. I guess this relationship is suppose to be intense?

But I've also read that the composite 12th house also means the end of the relationship..or how the relationship ends will be shown in the 12th house. I don't know how to interpret that since we have our composite sun and pluto there.

If there are planets in the 12th then would that highlight the reason why it would end?? Or maybe it's just some bluff?

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Sorry I made some edits in my previous post above ^

Would you say 12th house synastry/composite was the main core of your relationship that held you guys together or would you say it was that and also some other synastry/composite aspects?

I know everyone says Saturn is the true glue, but what if its the case of the 12th house contacts?

Starry~* said:

Sorry I made some edits in my previous post above ^

Would you say 12th house synastry/composite was the main core of your relationship that held you guys together or would you say it was that and also some other synastry/composite aspects?

I know everyone says Saturn is the true glue, but what if its the case of the 12th house contacts?

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Great questions! Saturn...we have a lot of Saturn aspects in synastry and composite. Our synastry saturns are each supporting eachother's suns, which is important for us b/c our natals don't have sun/saturn. We bring levity to each other and responsibility. I think that's an interesting thought, that the 12th is how a reletionship ends...some might say it's also an "end" relationship...like the one you are in when you die. Make sure you look at the houses sun/pluto are ruling as well as transits to the composite. Very good info there.


Maybe all the scorpio and pluto is why you feel anxious when you are apart and compelled to be with him....put that in the 12th house and there might be some real fears bubbling up. How close is that sun/pluto to the asc in composite?
Also, I don't think 12th house stuff keeps a relationship together, it's almost in spite of the 12th house issues you will stay together. 12th house is still tricky, I think, and these relationship require a whole lot of honesty and clarity.

I'd love to see you synastry and composite charts! I bet we might be on to something here (though not discovering anything, lol).

I'll post ours.


My boyfriend's Uranus is conjunct my Neptune/Venus/Moon stellium so we do see the Uranus/Venus connection.


As far as your question about being in our own world, I was actually thinking about this on the way home from work today. He and I spend all of our free time together. All of it, which is very much so not normal me behavior. Since we started dating I've stopped going out and being involved in my previous life before him. I think it's interesting too since the 12th house is the house of confinement. He also has a very tight Venus/Pluto conjunction in Scorpio so it's kinda no wonder he's metaphorically locked me away from the world.

To clarify the Uranian impulse in my chart since it's not immediately obvious, I'll note that I have Uranus singleton in Scorpio, sharing something akin to reception with Mars in Aquarius, parallel my moon within a degree.

@Munch: How long have you been with your bf?

I'm going to attach our synastry / composite:

Any inputs greatly appreciated!

Here's the composite with transits..getting real antsy about that tSaturn..!

I use whole signs and immediately when I look at your chart, I can't help but ask myself what's wrong with it. In whole signs, your Sun/Pluto connection is in the first house not 12th. There is a mysterious quality to your relationship and it people may feel that something is amiss or maybe they aren't getting the full story.

You take action on your values together and are successful in focusing your resources. Since you two are in step with one another, there is little to no power struggle between you. Your 2nd house (or Sagittarius) shows that you two are definitely in it to win it so to speak. If anything, I see this as a very promising chart. Your moon is trine the sun so we see the easy harmony between the yin and yang. You work very well together and are extremely complementary. You could be a power couple if you chose to be one, just remember that other people will be easily intimidated by the two of you so you'll need to work hard to show people that your intentions are good. Everything must be above board.