Corona virus pandemic 2020 jokes

CapAquaPis

Well-known member
I remember this from FB as of late:

This is Dick...
He doesn't like his state's stay at home order...
He wants to go to a bar with his friends again...
So he organized his friends to march in front of the capital...
Some of them have semi-automatic weapons...
And others have Confederate Flags and Neo-Nazi banners...
They want to have their liberties back...
Afterward, they assumed they will change the state's mind...
Dick feels fine and then he visited his elderly and vulnerable parents...
Then one day, he feels ill and ended up in the hospital...
Four weeks later, he remains there with a ventilator...
He is fortunate to recover, but his parents might not...
He's definitely not having his liberties...
And he realized he was wrong all along...
He should have stayed home until his state said it's OK to get out...
He swore he was healthy and so was all his friends...
And finally, he left the hospital with some lung damage for life...
The moral of this story: DONT BE A DICK!
- It had a logo of Michigan's statewide stay at home order.
 
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Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
What’s the difference between a pessimist and an optimist?

The pessimist says: ‘It can’t get any worse than this.’

The optimist says: ‘Oh yes it can.’
 

CapAquaPis

Well-known member
If you infect me with Covid-19, can I have your antibodies? Deal? DEAL!

(scientists are experimenting with this immunity regiment to potentially save lives).
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
jenniferaniston.jpg
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
Well, thats me in hospital 😩😭😭😫
This has not been a good day. After spending the last 8 weeks quarantined inside the house, and going stir crazy I decided to go horse riding, something I haven't done in ages. It turned out to be one big mistake!
I got on the horse and started out slowly, which was fine. But then we went a little faster; before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. I couldn't take the pace and fell off and caught my foot in the stirrup, the horse was then going like the clappers with me on the ground with my foot stuck in the stirrup. The horse just would not stop it was out of control I've never known anything like it.
Thankfully the manager at Tesco came out and unplugged the machine. He actually had the nerve to take the rest of my coins so I wouldn't try to ride the machine again........
How many of you actually read what I wrote? If you did, copy and paste for someone else to get a laugh!
We certainly need a laugh.🤣😁😆
 

david starling

Well-known member
Well, thats me in hospital 😩😭😭😫
This has not been a good day. After spending the last 8 weeks quarantined inside the house, and going stir crazy I decided to go horse riding, something I haven't done in ages. It turned out to be one big mistake!
I got on the horse and started out slowly, which was fine. But then we went a little faster; before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. I couldn't take the pace and fell off and caught my foot in the stirrup, the horse was then going like the clappers with me on the ground with my foot stuck in the stirrup. The horse just would not stop it was out of control I've never known anything like it.
Thankfully the manager at Tesco came out and unplugged the machine. He actually had the nerve to take the rest of my coins so I wouldn't try to ride the machine again........
How many of you actually read what I wrote? If you did, copy and paste for someone else to get a laugh!
We certainly need a laugh.🤣😁😆

What were you wearing? :lol:
 

david starling

Well-known member
Tried the joke out on a few people. Problem is, they either never saw one of those rides or even heard of them, or they had forgotten about them.

Here's a trick we used to do when we were young kids without a quarter:
Unplug the ride, wait until some parents put a coin in for their kid and assumed it was malfunctioning, and left. Then plug it back in and get a free ride.
 

Ukpoohbear

Well-known member
Oh no luck, I can just imagine the awkward pause where the person doesn’t understand the joke :lol:

That is so sad to think an adult would have forgotten about the coin rides :( I remember Thomas tank engine ones lol and for a while, the 3d simulator rides were popular, where you would go in and watch say a rollercoaster movie and the machine would move about. Brilliant!!

And I can’t believe you would be so tricky to steal coins from the machines!! :lol: :lol: :tongue:
 

david starling

Well-known member
Oh no luck, I can just imagine the awkward pause where the person doesn’t understand the joke :lol:

That is so sad to think an adult would have forgotten about the coin rides :( I remember Thomas tank engine ones lol and for a while, the 3d simulator rides were popular, where you would go in and watch say a rollercoaster movie and the machine would move about. Brilliant!!

And I can’t believe you would be so tricky to steal coins from the machines!! :lol: :lol: :tongue:

It was tricky Ricky's idea. I just went along for the ride! :biggrin:
 

CapAquaPis

Well-known member
Herd immunity theory (I find it an odd experiment, but here's a joke):

A group of 6 young, healthy people were walking down the street, when they see a Coronavirus gang intimidate an elderly couple, a pregnant woman and an immune-compromised man up against the wall, the group decides to take action.

"OK, we're able to take this, what we do is absorb the virus, herd immunity is when 60% of the country is exposed, and the disease can go away. Lets do it".

6 of these young, healthy people stand in front of the vulnerable, and the virus gang realizes it's not doing anything to them, then the virus gang vanishes.

The four vulnerable people thanked the youngins for protecting and defending them. The reply "You're welcome, now you can go on with life just like us".

(I recommend wearing masks, washing hands, social distancing and most of all, a vaccine to eradicate a disease first, stay-at-home as much as possible too).
 

ToltecLearn

Active member
Well, thats me in hospital 😩😭😭😫
This has not been a good day. After spending the last 8 weeks quarantined inside the house, and going stir crazy I decided to go horse riding, something I haven't done in ages. It turned out to be one big mistake!
I got on the horse and started out slowly, which was fine. But then we went a little faster; before I knew it, we were going as fast as the horse could go. I couldn't take the pace and fell off and caught my foot in the stirrup, the horse was then going like the clappers with me on the ground with my foot stuck in the stirrup. The horse just would not stop it was out of control I've never known anything like it.
Thankfully the manager at Tesco came out and unplugged the machine. He actually had the nerve to take the rest of my coins so I wouldn't try to ride the machine again........
How many of you actually read what I wrote? If you did, copy and paste for someone else to get a laugh!
We certainly need a laugh.🤣😁😆

dammm you did fool me hahahaha! the picture of a grown up riding a little colorful horse hahaha xD some of them are white with pink eyes hahaha :lol:

hey bill gates is now a covid expert at least his known for spreading operating systems prone to viruses! close enough for me! :tongue: i trust this guy maybe if i side with him he will give me a bill - billion hope so, but doubt it , haha nah this guy is good hes making vaccines for a while hope this all is over fast, but this covid jokes are really good XD :lol: thanks for sharing :alien:
 
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