I lost everything. Life starts now?

Adeline

Adeline

Active member
Im a woman in my 30´s no children. this is my birth chart and my progressed chart. I had a very difficult childhood with both parents mentally ill and abusive to me. Many sad things,i have always been lonely.

In last 4 years i can honestly say i lost everything. My home,my property (nothing was left) my only sister died commited suicide, my mentally ill mother died, then i lost my health. I was diagnosed with myeloproliferative disease. I am in my 30`s and i feel empty,sad,so tired. I can live a "long" life 30years if all goes well.

Standing in darkness losing everything i am reaching light in a long time. I want to believe life will give me a break now. I need to believe i can be happy and feel joy for the first time in my life and that this is a new start.
 
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waybread

waybread

Well-known member
Adeline, I am sorry that you have been through such difficult times.

I'm afraid I can't answer your questions the way you have asked them, but I will try to explain how I think astrology works.

It is very uncommon for unhappy people to hope that if they just hang on for a bit longer, that life will hand them good times when they get what they want and their unhappiness ends.

We have to take a balanced look at all the planets. Typically there is a mix of favorable and difficult transits and progressions. It's like one problem might fix itself, but another problem will persist. Good and tough transits and progressions follow one another in succession, so one year's joy might be followed by troubles, to be followed by better times and so on, forever.

Then the planets represent different energies that we internalize. I don't take a fatalistic, deterministic view towards the planets. They're not gods, as people thought they were in ancient times. The planets don't pull our strings from outer space, as though we were marionettes. It's up to us to make the best of them.

From your progressed chart, it looks like that difficult sun square Pluto is starting to ease off, but its effects may linger for another year. This is a hard aspect because the sun symbolizes our identity, or sense of self. Pluto is an underworld figure who can take away everything we thought ourselves to be.

But this isn't all entirely bad, as painful as the process of being stripped of your earlier identity might feel. Pluto metaphorically kills off things that are "dead" or "dying" so that new growth can take place. This is still a good time for you to release and relinquish anything from your old life that no longer supports you.

Progressed moon conjunct Chiron shows that you've been through a lot of emotional pain. But Chiron's wounds, if we stay open to them, ultimately confer wisdom. You can be a blessing to other people in emotional pain, because you've been there, yourself and can help them with your compassion. That Saturn trine sun shows you as a survivor.

So will your material or health situation change for the better? I hope so, but I think the main gift of these charts is your ability to come through hard times as a stronger person who now has more wisdom and resourcefulness.

I don't see why you cannot have the things you want in life, but you will have to make plans to go after what you want.
 
K

Katarzena

Well-known member
So sorry it has been so hard for you. You have Jupiter in Pisces which is a strong placement. Conjunct moon it can uplift your feelings. Have you tried meditating? Being by the sea can also be beneficial. Try to feel positive feelings as Jupiter trends to enhance what it touches. Check out cold showers and breathing techniques.
Sometimes we can start to see more clearly when things get difficult.
All the best.
 
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Harmelia

Harmelia

Well-known member
Adeline said:
Im a woman in my 30´s no children. this is my birth chart and my progressed chart. I had a very difficult childhood with both parents mentally ill and abusive to me. Many sad things,i have always been lonely.

In last 4 years i can honestly say i lost everything. My home,my property (nothing was left) my only sister died commited suicide, my mentally ill mother died, i was left alone with no one.

Then i lost my health. I was diagnosed with myeloproliferative disease. I am in my 30`s and i feel empty,sad,so so tired. I can live a "long" life 30years if all goes well.

Standing in darkness losing everything i am reaching light in a long time. I want to believe life will give me a break now. I need to believe i can be happy and feel joy for the first time in my life and that this is a new start.

What do you think? Can i have my dreams come true..start a family..live a long life.
Click to expand...


I'm really sorry to hear how difficult your life has been. Having mentally ill parents is tough.

I'm a little confused by your chart though - whether you have a Taurus or Aries MC - the chart shows Taurus, but then there is an MC in Aries. That would change the way I read your family situation and other things too. What house system did you use?

I'm very interested in collecting your birth data, if you don't mind PMing it to me. I have done an astrological study on myeloproliferative diseases - mostly Polycythemia Vera. I started the study because a friend of mine has PV. Do you have PV or one of the other types? I'll be happy to share what I've learned from the people in my study.

What is prominent in the study - so far - I have 12 charts - is that Sagittarius energy is involved. You do have Saturn in Sag in the 4th. People with PV tend to be very active - very yang. They have some difficulty in sitting still. They like to keep busy with a lot of fire behind it. They also have a tendency to have a strong sense of right and wrong - or positive-negative, superior-inferior - high standards and a polarized way of thinking. It can be about little things and big things - like I will eat brown rice over white rice every time because brown rice is more nutritious. And why would anyone choose white when brown is better? That's a Sagittarius- PV type of statement, because it is seeing the issue as good-bad with no recognition of other ways people might choose. Do you relate to any of this?

There are some effective drugs that work for some people - especially the genetic type. But I'm sure your doctor will be discussing that with you.

Anyway, you're quite sensitive with Sun in Cancer and Moon in Pisces - and in a grand trine with Pluto in Scorpio. It looks like your family may have had issues of enmeshment (if Scorpio is on 4th house cusp) - so you may feel responsible for family members. There is stress in this chart over you becoming more self-focused and independent. You do have major support for making changes with Pluto square your Mercury and Venus in Leo in the 12th. The 12th house is a letting go place - so you can let go of personality qualities or feelings that don't work for you - while Pluto works on helping you revise what you think in the 3rd house. How you perceive yourself is a big thing. It all depends upon your desire and ability to do inner work. I see a lot of support for that. Moon and Jupiter in Pisces say something similar. You can let go of emotions and feelings. You can cultivate a connection with your Soul-Spirit with all that Pisces and 12th house influences. The 8th house - where Jupiter is - about self-transformation. So, I think if you hang in there - you'd be about to slowly but surely - make positive changes and have the life you want.

Your Mars in the 6th house in Capricorn is about helping people. Being helpful to others is one way that we can truly ground us within ourselves. However, it is never good to help others at your expense - if you do that. With possible enmeshment issues, that Mars can also serve to help you set boundaries to helping others. In other words, you need to do it when you genuinely want to - and then it is a very positive act. If you feel guilty if you don't help, then this is not good.
 
Z

Zora

Account Closed
Adeline said:
What do you think? Can i have my dreams come true..start a family..live a long life.
Click to expand...


Hello Adeline,


you have my full compassion for the hard times you have been through and in such a young age - I know myself very well- how it feels to lose all kinda over night.


But if you look for astrological advice and help - pls. give us a readable clear chart without asteroids but with transits shown on outer circle and chart typ with house system you have used. And at least - where you are from - the states, europe or elsewhere. As every country has special traditions, beliefs and opinions (8th) one grew up with and subconsciously took over.

Astrologers are chart readers - this is their tool to work with. And every astologer uses his own favored house system - mostly placidus house system. And the better and the clearer readable the given/posted chart is - the better the help - you can get. And using astro.com charts - as you in principle did - is welcomed here from most astrologers - but you cutted off the house system and chart type used.

Your posted natal chart looks like having used equal house system - is it for a special reason ? If so- for a reading- you need an astrologer using it himself.

As due to missing data - oneself cant' reproduce it in own used chart type - would you please also post your chart with placidus house system and transits outside the circle - the most common chart type - here ?
 
Adeline

Adeline

Active member
Harmelia said:
I'm really sorry to hear how difficult your life has been. Having mentally ill parents is tough.

I'm a little confused by your chart though - whether you have a Taurus or Aries MC - the chart shows Taurus, but then there is an MC in Aries. That would change the way I read your family situation and other things too. What house system did you use?

I'm very interested in collecting your birth data, if you don't mind PMing it to me. I have done an astrological study on myeloproliferative diseases - mostly Polycythemia Vera. I started the study because a friend of mine has PV. Do you have PV or one of the other types? I'll be happy to share what I've learned from the people in my study.

What is prominent in the study - so far - I have 12 charts - is that Sagittarius energy is involved. You do have Saturn in Sag in the 4th. People with PV tend to be very active - very yang. They have some difficulty in sitting still. They like to keep busy with a lot of fire behind it. They also have a tendency to have a strong sense of right and wrong - or positive-negative, superior-inferior - high standards and a polarized way of thinking. It can be about little things and big things - like I will eat brown rice over white rice every time because brown rice is more nutritious. And why would anyone choose white when brown is better? That's a Sagittarius- PV type of statement, because it is seeing the issue as good-bad with no recognition of other ways people might choose. Do you relate to any of this?

There are some effective drugs that work for some people - especially the genetic type. But I'm sure your doctor will be discussing that with you.

Anyway, you're quite sensitive with Sun in Cancer and Moon in Pisces - and in a grand trine with Pluto in Scorpio. It looks like your family may have had issues of enmeshment (if Scorpio is on 4th house cusp) - so you may feel responsible for family members. There is stress in this chart over you becoming more self-focused and independent. You do have major support for making changes with Pluto square your Mercury and Venus in Leo in the 12th. The 12th house is a letting go place - so you can let go of personality qualities or feelings that don't work for you - while Pluto works on helping you revise what you think in the 3rd house. How you perceive yourself is a big thing. It all depends upon your desire and ability to do inner work. I see a lot of support for that. Moon and Jupiter in Pisces say something similar. You can let go of emotions and feelings. You can cultivate a connection with your Soul-Spirit with all that Pisces and 12th house influences. The 8th house - where Jupiter is - about self-transformation. So, I think if you hang in there - you'd be about to slowly but surely - make positive changes and have the life you want.

Your Mars in the 6th house in Capricorn is about helping people. Being helpful to others is one way that we can truly ground us within ourselves. However, it is never good to help others at your expense - if you do that. With possible enmeshment issues, that Mars can also serve to help you set boundaries to helping others. In other words, you need to do it when you genuinely want to - and then it is a very positive act. If you feel guilty if you don't help, then this is not good.
Click to expand...

I replied to you PM. I hope you got my message.<3
 
Z

Zora

Account Closed
Adeline said:
In last 4 years i can honestly say i lost everything. My home,my property (nothing was left) my only sister died commited suicide, my mentally ill mother died, i was left alone with no one.

Then i lost my health.

What do you think? Can i have my dreams come true..start a family..live a long life.
Click to expand...

Adeline said:
I am wondering what is the meaning of all of this..to be honest it has been a strugle,lifelong strugle. I have suffered so much that this is the reason i think i got sick.

After losing my money,property,my family i thought the worst is over but then i got sick.. .

Why is this happening is this "written" in my birth chart..is this due to bad progressions and transits,but then again it has been life long strugle.

Im tired but there is hope. Someone i love very deeply just returned in my life.I have been suffering without him.
Click to expand...


Hello Adeline,

first of all - good to hear that a person you love returned to you just now - so you are not alone anymore.

After all what happened to you - it is very human to ask for a "why".

You talked about a long life struggling. After having looked at your chart - I would agree that it started already very early - probably already some before own birth.

Your mercury rules your 2nd house- house of physical body existence house, house of self-protection, defending own territory and own space and own values- setting boundaries to find a rest to restore your body, your personal property, skills and gifts you are born with and to earn money with - your money income- selfesteem and feeling yourself worthful, safe and welcomed with /in your physical body and gender.

Mercury as well rules your 3rd house- your personal manner to communicate, to perceive informations and process informations, your menal mind, thoughts and house of siblings.

Your mercury is in 12th house (also house of prenatal experience before own birth) - still sitting above horizon - looking like still hesitating to jump into the physical body and into life.

Mercury is in a moon ruled 12th house - moon itself in 8th house - house of death and near to death experience, shock and trauma experience at point of your birth. Moon as one of the female planets degree exact inconjuncts venus as second female planet in 12th house. Venus as your 4th house ruler - showing also own mother and how she experienced her pregnancy with you and what feelings and thoughts you might have witnessed and taken over from her - as your high sensitive pisces moon in 8th house has very fine sensitive antennas for - especially for emotions like fear, anger or thoughts about death and existential danger. Able to store it in own subconsciousness and own memory - limitless (pisces) for long.



Your mercury is on special sensitive and vulnerable degree of 0° leo - between two signs- cancer/moon ruled and leo/sun ruled - between two choices - being female and being male - between two worlds - the visible and the invisible and kinda indescisive between two chairs - two opportunities - scared to make a choice and to lose one of 2 opportunities - and afterwards to discover having made the wrong choice.

0° planet placements are said to have brought a spiritual task into this life to develop more and to gain experience with and to use it to help people with - and is a "sleeping" special mediator skill - what can be woken up in a special spark energy way -if a slow moving transit planet changes sign and enters 0 degree - activating same time all your 2nd house and 3rd house matters to come up.

And this is what happened in the past - starting with a very special transit in May 2018 with transit uranus - entering 0° taurus - in a challenging and tensioned and stressful way for you - squaring your mercury forth and backwards one year long. Afterwards followed by transit jupiter entering 0° capricorn in Dec 2019 - inconjuncting your mercury. And last year followed by transit saturn entering 0°aquarius - opposing your mercury.
 
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Z

Zora

Account Closed
Adeline said:
I am wondering what is the meaning of all of this..to be honest it has been a strugle,lifelong strugle.
Click to expand...


Looking from the higher point of view as a soul - life is mainly about gaining experience and to evolve oneself. And in fact the most hurtful experiences deliver a lot of understanding about life and life energy itself and also compassion and comprehension for other people's issues. And if one had come to earth to help people - having an inner order and mission to fullfil here- personal planets in 4th quarter of the chart mostly have - it is helpful in own way of life to get own skills trained for.

You have scorpio intercepted in your IC/ 4th house, which for me is also entry from another life into this life - showing the skills and gifts you brough with you. And scorpio in 4th is an intense energy - always looking for a deep transformation- to go deep down into all dark waters of emotions and deep to the roots of an issue and upto own limits and beyond - standing up again and stronger and different than before.

As scorpio is the sign of mastering crisis and blooming in crisis periods - able to create all energy necessary for going through all and to survive. And your pluto is strong in own sign and in intercepted scorpio in 4th house - looking like a personal own world having protected you already in your childhood - growing secretive below -without showing and letting know others about.

Pluto as one of the fate called planets works hand in hand degree exact together with two other fate called planets-semisextiling your saturn in sag - saturn degree exact semisextiling neptune. Your saturn in the middle - ruling your 6th house - health and work - has an important keyrole - in sag- it is also about faith and belief.

What means - if a slowmoving transit planet enters 4° all of the the 3 planets get activated and their house matters as well - pluto real home - saturn - work and health - neptune - 8th house - death experience in own life- also figuratively (relationships ending/ "dying". 8th is also genetic inheritance and predisposition for health issues and family dogmata, opinions, rituals, traditions and beliefs.

If saturn wants to get your attention in it's transits - one of it's means is health issues. But actually none of the 3 planets is transit activated now.

When did you get your disease diagnose ?
 
waybread

waybread

Well-known member
I agree with Zora.

Some people are on the planet to be spiritual athletes-- whether they see themselves that way or not.

And sometimes when life looks so bleak, the goal is to be in the moment of life's simple pleasures. Not in the past, not in the future.

Adeline, have you read Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now? Recommended.
 
K

Katarzena

Well-known member
Adeline said:
Thank you everyone for taking the time to look into my charts and giving me this time. I really appreciate it<3

Im born in scandinavia so this is why my chart is difficult, But yes now i will show you my natal placidus and natal whole signs. Time of birth is accurate.

I am wondering what is the meaning of all of this..to be honest it has been a strugle,lifelong strugle. I have suffered so much that this is the reason i think i got sick. After losing my money,property,my family i thought the worst is over but then i got sick.. im in my 30`s and all is left was my health..so yes it feels cruel and im afraid if i will die young..im afraid i wont have a family..im afraid i will be more sick..leukemia is one bad chance.

Why is this happening is this "written" in my birth chart..is this due to bad progressions and transits,but then again it has been life long strugle.

Im tired but there is hope. Someone i love very deeply just returned in my life.I have been suffering without him.
Click to expand...

Saturn and Pluto transit in the 6th might be what causes health problems. Pluto is transformative. 6th house is house or health among other things. Perhaps it's bringing all the problems to the surface so they can be dealt with consciously.

Jupiter transit in the 7th is helping in the relationships.

That Neptune conjunct natal Jupiter activates the Jupiter which is good.

Grand water trine in natal chart might be what helped you survive in childhood I've seen that in other charts.
 
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Adeline

Adeline

Active member
Zora said:
Looking from the higher point of view as a soul - life is mainly about gaining experience and to evolve oneself. And in fact the most hurtful experiences deliver a lot of understanding about life and life energy itself and also compassion and comprehension for other people's issues. And if one had come to earth to help people - having an inner order and mission to fullfil here- personal planets in 4th quarter of the chart mostly have - it is helpful in own way of life to get own skills trained for.

You have scorpio intercepted in your IC/ 4th house, which for me is also entry from another life into this life - showing the skills and gifts you brough with you. And scorpio in 4th is an intense energy - always looking for a deep transformation- to go deep down into all dark waters of emotions and deep to the roots of an issue and upto own limits and beyond - standing up again and stronger and different than before.

As scorpio is the sign of mastering crisis and blooming in crisis periods - able to create all energy necessary for going through all and to survive. And your pluto is strong in own sign and in intercepted scorpio in 4th house - looking like a personal own world having protected you already in your childhood - growing secretive below -without showing and letting know others about.

Pluto as one of the fate called planets works hand in hand degree exact together with two other fate called planets-semisextiling your saturn in sag - saturn degree exact semisextiling neptune. Your saturn in the middle - ruling your 6th house - health and work - has an important keyrole - in sag- it is also about faith and belief.

What means - if a slowmoving transit planet enters 4° all of the the 3 planets get activated and their house matters as well - pluto real home - saturn - work and health - neptune - 8th house - death experience in own life- also figuratively (relationships ending/ "dying". 8th is also genetic inheritance and predisposition for health issues and family dogmata, opinions, rituals, traditions and beliefs.

If saturn wants to get your attention in it's transits - one of it's means is health issues. But actually none of the 3 planets is transit activated now.

When did you get your disease diagnose ?
Click to expand...

I got my diagnose in may 2020. 1 year ago.
I have had labs abnormal since 2013 so my hematology told me it has began allready then.

For me i have noticed that everytime my progressed moon hits saturn, specially in hard aspect something very difficult happens. This has happened everytime all my life. Moon hitting saturn is something painful.

last decade has been destructive,in such way my memory has chosen to forget some of the trauma that is too painful.2010 i had very bad transits and progressions and it was a very painful time in my life, like the last 10 years have been.

Im hoping that i can have a better life now and live a good life. Im hoping a can heal in a soul level. I pray life starts to be more lightful now.
 
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K

katydid

Well-known member
You have some nice progressions coming up throughout the year. Your progressed Moon is done with the opposition to Saturn.

Now it will go on to sextile the Sun in Leo in the 11th. New friends, new sense of community and ideals. A renewed self-confidence.

And Pr Venus will be lined up in opposition to Jupiter. This should be a very pleasant transit that brings well-being and harmony to your life, as it is 1st and 7th houses. It probably even brings new relationships that can be very significant.

I think you may be already sub-consciously tapping into this energy, as you foresee your new life possibilities. :innocent:
 
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