Love, Marriage, Children? Someday? Somehow?

Chaterina

Member
Hallo dear forum members!

I would really appreciate your answers about the questions, I am asking myself. Will I have a family? Will I have a relationship full of love? Will I marry? Children? When would this happen? After Saturn return? How long should I wait to love and be loved :love:.

Thank you for your help in a difficult time for me.

Best,
Kate
 

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helike13

Well-known member
Hi...

It looks like you have Cancer ASC and you have a stellium near your Capricorn DSC.

With Capricorn DSC your partnership/marriage will not necessarily based on love just to tell you. And not necessarily brings happiness. And age gap may be significant.

As Saturn is you DSC ruler you can expect some changes when your Saturn Return is coming next year.

I have the same ASC-DSC axis as yours and I met my wife during my Saturn Return and married just before my 30th birthday.
 

UnluckyGirl

Well-known member
Me three..

I used to reply to threads like this one a lot until I got tired of seeing same patterns for the millionth time.

80%-90% of the threads similar to "will I ever be in a relationship?" come from people with Cancer ASC born in the Cap Uranus & Neptune and Pluto in Scorpio generation. So their Pluto falls in their 5th H (house of casual sex, flirt and fun among others) Pluto in here takes these things very seriously. Uranus and/or Neptune fall in their 7th H if serious reltionships. Both Uranus and Neptune are idealistic planets, they favor platonic relationships but they avoid the reality of the relationships. They both need space. Uranus doesn't favor stability, the relationship ends as soon as it becomes conventional.

Saturn in your 7th H is positive in your case believe me. It balances your Neptune and Uranus energy. And you wouldn't want to have it in your 8th H!

Cap DSC also takes relationships very seriously to the point that they seem like a burden.
Are you aware of your need for freedom? Because if you aren't at this point you will be when you'll start suffocating. Many Uranian people (especially when Neptune is close to Uranus) idealize relationships but once they are in one for a while and reality hits them that's when they understand their need for freedom.

Uranus conjucts your Moon and Venus..
Free spirit. I'm really wondering how that practical Cap Moon and Venus of yours deal with Uranus. Moon and Venus in Cap are both very practical when it comes to showing love. They won't be sweet or extra expressive they will show love in practical ways like helping you with day to day life, cooking/cleaning/shopping for example. Uranus is a shy one too so they are kind of similar in that aspect but Uranus isn't stable or practical.


Moon/Venus/DSC in Cap
Moon/Venus/DSC in hard aspect to Saturn
Saturn in 7th H

bring delay in marriage and sometimes in relationships too. But these by themselves are not enough imo to never bring a relationship into the native's life.

Uranus in 7th H and North Node in 7th H are by themselves enough (imo the strongest indicators) for someone to be single even his whole life.
That is if North Node in 7th H isn't aided by other natal planets. And if Uranus in 7th H isn't supported by Saturn which isn't your case.

North Node is supposed to be the lesson we should learn, our path. So why North Node in 7th H is one of the classic placement for people who stay single? Because we don't feel comfortable to follow our North Node and most don't reach their North Nodes unless there are conjunctions or trines to it from their natal planets (other than Uranus and Neptune).

In your case your North Node is in your 8th H of intimacy. That is your lesson. (google search North Node in 8th H and read as much as possible to get an idea in case you don't know about it).

T. Saturn is in your 7th H, it has already conjuncted your Moon and Venus. Did it bring you anyone special?
You're going to have your first Saturn Return as helike13 said.
Your 7th H is packed and you are Saturnian so I believe it will bring something to you to. At worst you'll understand something about relationships or about what you want/need when it comes to relationships.
If it won't happen after T.Saturn conjuncts your North Node for the last time then I don't know when it will. T.Pluto was over your Moon and Venus a few years ago, nothing happened then??
 

Chaterina

Member
Me three..

I used to reply to threads like this one a lot until I got tired of seeing same patterns for the millionth time.

80%-90% of the threads similar to "will I ever be in a relationship?" come from people with Cancer ASC born in the Cap Uranus & Neptune and Pluto in Scorpio generation. So their Pluto falls in their 5th H (house of casual sex, flirt and fun among others) Pluto in here takes these things very seriously. Uranus and/or Neptune fall in their 7th H if serious reltionships. Both Uranus and Neptune are idealistic planets, they favor platonic relationships but they avoid the reality of the relationships. They both need space. Uranus doesn't favor stability, the relationship ends as soon as it becomes conventional.

Saturn in your 7th H is positive in your case believe me. It balances your Neptune and Uranus energy. And you wouldn't want to have it in your 8th H!

Cap DSC also takes relationships very seriously to the point that they seem like a burden.
Are you aware of your need for freedom? Because if you aren't at this point you will be when you'll start suffocating. Many Uranian people (especially when Neptune is close to Uranus) idealize relationships but once they are in one for a while and reality hits them that's when they understand their need for freedom.

Uranus conjucts your Moon and Venus..
Free spirit. I'm really wondering how that practical Cap Moon and Venus of yours deal with Uranus. Moon and Venus in Cap are both very practical when it comes to showing love. They won't be sweet or extra expressive they will show love in practical ways like helping you with day to day life, cooking/cleaning/shopping for example. Uranus is a shy one too so they are kind of similar in that aspect but Uranus isn't stable or practical.


Moon/Venus/DSC in Cap
Moon/Venus/DSC in hard aspect to Saturn
Saturn in 7th H

bring delay in marriage and sometimes in relationships too. But these by themselves are not enough imo to never bring a relationship into the native's life.

Uranus in 7th H and North Node in 7th H are by themselves enough (imo the strongest indicators) for someone to be single even his whole life.
That is if North Node in 7th H isn't aided by other natal planets. And if Uranus in 7th H isn't supported by Saturn which isn't your case.

North Node is supposed to be the lesson we should learn, our path. So why North Node in 7th H is one of the classic placement for people who stay single? Because we don't feel comfortable to follow our North Node and most don't reach their North Nodes unless there are conjunctions or trines to it from their natal planets (other than Uranus and Neptune).

In your case your North Node is in your 8th H of intimacy. That is your lesson. (google search North Node in 8th H and read as much as possible to get an idea in case you don't know about it).

T. Saturn is in your 7th H, it has already conjuncted your Moon and Venus. Did it bring you anyone special?
You're going to have your first Saturn Return as helike13 said.
Your 7th H is packed and you are Saturnian so I believe it will bring something to you to. At worst you'll understand something about relationships or about what you want/need when it comes to relationships.
If it won't happen after T.Saturn conjuncts your North Node for the last time then I don't know when it will. T.Pluto was over your Moon and Venus a few years ago, nothing happened then??

I thank you so much for your response and for the time you invested!

On the one hand it looks terrible, on the other not really.

Yes, last year, I met someone and we had almost an year a relationship, we spent every evening together (huge mistake!). But I think, this is the person, because of who I learned what I do not want. 19.11.1974 is the birth datum of him. Someone told me, this is the one for me and I see so much things in common in our birth chart. But now, this is not the person I want to have next to me. We separated fell weeks ago. And this is good.

Pluto was over my Moon and Venus few years ago? How many years?

Actually, I always meet someone new, but things are not working out - on and off relationships, affairs etc. And yes, I know, I need my privacy, my space, but on and off relationships toke my power. Maybe a distant relationship ist something for me? I am aware of my need for freedom. To receive and give love in practical way is the thing for me. My ex the scorpio - it was like this at the beginning, but not months after this. For me is important to give and receive help in a relationship.

There is another man. Since years, maybe 4? 3? I can't remember when we first met. Now he is back in my life. He is one of the owners of the company I work in. He said once to me years ago: if we do not make business together, there will be something else between us. We met 1 month ago for the first time since an year, write every few weeks. 27.09.1975 is his birth date. From the first time I met this man, I thought: this ist the man I want to have next to me. What do you thing? Or I just have to stop daydreaming? :joyful:

North Node in 8th H - I googled it, but the topic was money...I will search more, you see money, power, career are important things for me and things are working pretty well.

No one sad something about children?

And maybe another question. It is related to my love life to. Do you see moving to a different country? I am not feeling like I want to stay here anymore....

And: when will Saturn conjunct my North Node?

Thank you, thank you, thank you!
 
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Chaterina

Member
Hi...

It looks like you have Cancer ASC and you have a stellium near your Capricorn DSC.

With Capricorn DSC your partnership/marriage will not necessarily based on love just to tell you. And not necessarily brings happiness. And age gap may be significant.

As Saturn is you DSC ruler you can expect some changes when your Saturn Return is coming next year.

I have the same ASC-DSC axis as yours and I met my wife during my Saturn Return and married just before my 30th birthday.

Hey! Thank you so much for your response and charing your experience. How old were you as you met your wife? 28? 29? Things went pretty quick, is this typical for people with this aspects in the chart? Can I ask you...because many people are telling those marriages are not based on love. Is your marriage like this? But it brings you happiness I suppose?

Thank you for sharing!

So, I have to wait for the next year in your opinion :).
 

helike13

Well-known member
I met my wife in September 2013 and married in April 26, 2014 when Pluto transited over my DSC and her natal Sun in Capricorn.

The "speed" does nothing with my Capricorn DSC. But my wife is 13 years older than me, it DOES align with it. As you wrote your boyfriend is 16 years older than you. May/December relationships are very typical with this placement.

many people are telling those marriages are not based on love. Is your marriage like this? But it brings you happiness I suppose?

Yes and No.

My marriage isn't based on love rather it's something like a business arrangement. Capricorn is a practical earthly sign not a Disney film :)

And it does not bring me happiness at all. It brings me torture and lessons (ala Saturn). And it's very hard to get out of it because it is like a Catch 22. Saturn doesn't like if one turn one's back to its lessons and obstacles by running away so it makes it impossible to go out and leave.

If I can get out someday later in life I will be too old to start a better relationship. My time is ticking and I'm held down.

So my advice as a fellow member of the Cancer ASC gang, enjoy your singlehood as long as you can. :)
 

Chaterina

Member
Hi Helike13,

I am really sorry to hear this! And I am wondering, is it because we do not need love like in the movies, or just because of karma.

Business relationship sounds for me not so bad. I would prefer to have this stability and security in my life. Because marriages based on passion and love are too risky. I want a partner on the first place.

But you say, this does not make you happy? Do you need love and affection? Do you have problems, or you get well along with each other?

Ach, my dears, do I have to give up on love and just accept, love is not meant to be?
 

Chaterina

Member
You're going to have your first Saturn Return as helike13 said.
Your 7th H is packed and you are Saturnian so I believe it will bring something to you to. At worst you'll understand something about relationships or about what you want/need when it comes to relationships.
If it won't happen after T.Saturn conjuncts your North Node for the last time then I don't know when it will.

Hey, UnluckyGirl (I hope you are soon lucky girl!) I was reading your answer again and would like to ask you again concrete:

When will be the first Saturn Return?
And maybe to more important: when will Saturn conjunct my North Node?

I asked the same questions, but I do not want them to disappear in my long response! Thank you very much!
 

UnluckyGirl

Well-known member
I thank you so much for your response and for the time you invested!

On the one hand it looks terrible, on the other not really.

Yes, last year, I met someone and we had almost an year a relationship, we spent every evening together (huge mistake!). But I think, this is the person, because of who I learned what I do not want. 19.11.1974 is the birth datum of him. Someone told me, this is the one for me and I see so much things in common in our birth chart. But now, this is not the person I want to have next to me. We separated fell weeks ago. And this is good.

Pluto was over my Moon and Venus few years ago? How many years?

Actually, I always meet someone new, but things are not working out - on and off relationships, affairs etc. And yes, I know, I need my privacy, my space, but on and off relationships toke my power. Maybe a distant relationship ist something for me? I am aware of my need for freedom. To receive and give love in practical way is the thing for me. My ex the scorpio - it was like this at the beginning, but not months after this. For me is important to give and receive help in a relationship.

There is another man. Since years, maybe 4? 3? I can't remember when we first met. Now he is back in my life. He is one of the owners of the company I work in. He said once to me years ago: if we do not make business together, there will be something else between us. We met 1 month ago for the first time since an year, write every few weeks. 27.09.1975 is his birth date. From the first time I met this man, I thought: this ist the man I want to have next to me. What do you thing? Or I just have to stop daydreaming? :joyful:

North Node in 8th H - I googled it, but the topic was money...I will search more, you see money, power, career are important things for me and things are working pretty well.

No one sad something about children?

And maybe another question. It is related to my love life to. Do you see moving to a different country? I am not feeling like I want to stay here anymore....

And: when will Saturn conjunct my North Node?

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I see you like older men too. Love combined with work is also a Saturnian thing.
Actually everything you say is very Saturnian and Uranian.

February 2011, T.Pluto was in Cap 6°-7°,
Since then it's in your DSC slowly conjucting all your 7th H planets. And now it's conjuncting your Saturn. T.Pluto will be on your North Node till around the end of 2022.

Many lessons/transformations in relationships.
It's also common to bring Plutonian people or Plutonian relationships (synastry).
Passion, obsession, jealousy, pain, transformation are some Plutonian themes.

The on-off thing is Uranian.
Unconventional is any type of relationship that isn't conventional.
It can be:
Different colour/ethnicity/background/language whatever feels very foreign/different/weird to your environment. It can be a long distance relationship, it can be a relationship with someone who is unavailable (married or in relationship with someone else or he can't/doesn't want to be in a relationship even though he's in love with you).
It can be that you sleep in different bedrooms of the same house or he needs to be away because of his job. It may be that he stays at home taking care of it and raising your children and you bring the money. So he plays wife you play husband role. Anything that will make your relationship different from what's considered "normal".

Synastry shows compability and relationship themes. To see when you'll get married you need to check your progressions, transits and solar return/arc. It's a lot of work. I can't personally read solar arc/return at all and I know super basic & generic stuff about transits and progressions.
If you want to see about a specific person then you have to check progressions, transits and solar arc/return for his chart too.

You mentioned that it was a mistake to spend every night together with him. Why?
What did you learn from that relationship? Why did he change?
My advise to anyone but especially the ones who have Neptune/Uranus in the 7th H (or heavy Neptunian and Uranian energy) is to get to know the person (and themselves at the same time) very well before they get married and have children.
Living under the same roof for at least 2-3 years is the best way to find out if that person is suitable to be your life partner. After 2-3 years the beaitiful first magic phase wears of naturally. If you live with that person under the same roof the procedure is even quicker because rrality hits you 100% and it will kill any false idealism.
When you'll have kids it will be way more difficult. Do you even want to have kids? If you were a man I wouldn't even ask you because it's easy to be a dad but you're a woman.. You will actually take care of that kid 24/7 for many years of your life. If you can't stand a partner every night then you'll lose it with kids. Unless you have money for babysiters or leave it mainly to other people to raise it for you.

"If I knew how raising up a child is before I gave birth, I would never be a mom". I've heard it so many times (they never say it in front of others of course, including their husbands). It's because I'm being open with my opinions that other women open up to me. But honestly none of them says these things in front of others. They play the "children are a blessing" role.

I'm just telling you this in order for you to be careful because once you have kids you can never go back. And it doesn't affect just your life but your kid's early and later lide too.

Aries and Aqua Moon
Mars/Uranus/Neptune in hard aspect to Moon
make the worst parents (although other aspects like Saturn in hard aspect to Mars or even Saturn in 5th H can balance these aspects) because they have the greatest need for freedom and indepedence. You won't find a creature more depedent on you than a child.

I feel like you want to get married and have children because of how you have it in your head, which seems to me that is a bit far away from reality.

People when in love at first they give 100% of themselves because of that intense new feeling/infatuation/enthusiasm. Some lose it after a while but even if they don't it's normal for them to not give their 100% to you.. they have other things to do too. Some may even pretend. That is why it's important to get to know each other.

*Your Saturn Return will be exact around January 2020 but T.Saturn is said to affect 6-7 orbs before the aspect gets exact and up to 5 orbs after the aspect gets exact.

T.Saturn conjunct your NN in February-March, Nobember-December 2020.

North Node in 8th H wants you to learn how to share everything in a deeply intimate relationship, how to let go of yourself and other people when the time comes. And that is after you learned your lesson, after the transformation. 8th H is ruled by Scorpio, You may attract people with Scorpio or Pluto aspects in their chart. You can learn from them how to ley go in intimate relationship. First how to give all of yourself and then how to let go of that person you loved. It will transform you.
 

UnluckyGirl

Well-known member
I met my wife in September 2013 and married in April 26, 2014 when Pluto transited over my DSC and her natal Sun in Capricorn.

The "speed" does nothing with my Capricorn DSC. But my wife is 13 years older than me, it DOES align with it. As you wrote your boyfriend is 16 years older than you. May/December relationships are very typical with this placement.



Yes and No.

My marriage isn't based on love rather it's something like a business arrangement. Capricorn is a practical earthly sign not a Disney film :)

And it does not bring me happiness at all. It brings me torture and lessons (ala Saturn). And it's very hard to get out of it because it is like a Catch 22. Saturn doesn't like if one turn one's back to its lessons and obstacles by running away so it makes it impossible to go out and leave.

If I can get out someday later in life I will be too old to start a better relationship. My time is ticking and I'm held down.

So my advice as a fellow member of the Cancer ASC gang, enjoy your singlehood as long as you can. :)

Hi helike13

Your reply made me very sad, I felt like I could connect with you which usually happens when someone has watery Moon.

I am truly shocked that a person with Uranus and Neptune in 7th H is able to accept and stay in such a marriage.

Do you happen to have Saturn in 5th H?
I have many reasons to suspect this.

One is that I get that sad vibe, Saturn in 5th H is one of the most difficult placements for Saturn along with the 8th H.
5th H represents love, romance and fun among other things.

I actually had T.Saturn in my 5th H a few years ago and I won't forget that feeling. Here Saturn denies/delays/restricts these beautiful feelings.
It would be more significant in your case since you said you have a Cap DSC. So Saturn is the ruler of your DSC occupying both your 7th and 5th H (2 of your relationship houses) would make sense.

Also I know a person with this placement, he has a Scorpio Moon, Cap Venus. It was very weird to me how I felt sad around that person from the very first moment. All men I attract have watery Moon and Cap Venus.. So I'm pretty confident it was his Saturn in 5th H. It felt to me like I could feel his burden. I don't have much experience with this placement it's just the way I felt when I read your reply is so similar to the way that person made me feel.

The fact that you have accepted this and the way you see relationships. Of all the Cap DSCs with Neptune and/or Uranus in 7th H none views relationship like that. So that's one more reason to believe your have Saturn in 5th H.

Could you post your chart? I'm curious to see what other energies are in your chart to cancel at that extent your Uranus-Neptune in 7th H.
If you don't feel comfortable then please ignore my question.
 

helike13

Well-known member
@Catherina

Yes, it's good if love + business together. But if it's only business....

Actually you are lucky you are a woman...
Cancer ASC is a huge disadvantage in the dating world if you are a heterosexual male. Especially with a Domicile ASC ruler as in my case.

Actually age difference in relationships annoys me a lot. I find it weird. But with Cancer - Capricorn it's a necessary evil. My wife is 13 years older than me and our Pluto semisextiles each other with an incredibly tight orb (0°01'). Her natal Pluto is in Virgo 29°42' mine is in Libra 29°41'. And her Capricorn Sun conjuncts my DSC with an orb of <1°. Both of us have Mars in Scorpio so we don't really get along well.



@UnluckyGirl

Thanks for your reply and your compassionate words.

Bingo.... Saturn in H5.... But it's not only Saturn but all the villains of the sky occupy my H5. Unlike Catherina, my Uranus and Neptune are in H6. My H7 is empty and ruled by H5 Saturn.

Here's my chart:

DtRE05C.png


And if you want to read my long story short:

https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/showthread.php?p=975874
 
Yes to all, from what I can see :) I wouldn't rush anything before your Saturn return, but if you meet someone that feels right don't not follow your heart. Saturn brings delays, but ultimately stability. It will probably be someone who is mature, patient, and doesn't rush into things. <3
 

Chaterina

Member
Dear all,

I thank you so much for your honest answers and your help.

Can I ask for something more? Ok, love life...I understood it and I am relieved and look with hope in the future :).

My work....I've been promoted to a high executive position. But I am tired, I am exhausted, I am near to burn out. Maybe this is why I dream right now for marriage and children - to get me out of this, of all the responsibilities, from all the effort, from all the stress. For the first time I can say: I hate my position, I hate my job. Can you tell me more about how things are going to continue here?

@UnluckyGirl

I thank you so much for your explanations. You are right in everything you say!

2011....yes....I met a man, I lived with together an year after this. The fist partner, I have lived with. It was huge, huge love! But we fought a lot, he met another women and now the are married. I am happy for him, it is a pity, we do not have contact any more. But I am thankful for the love and the emotions he gave me :).

Saturn - the man next to me has to be hard worker, has to be ambyitios, you know what I mean :).

Uran - someone else or he can't/doesn't want to be in a relationship even though he's in love with you. 3 years I had an on / off relationship like this :). And now me found peace and we are good friends and colleges.

I like your point of view according to living together. Yes, we tried and it didn't work out and we understood this, because we were living together. We had to have only an affair. But it was a nice try!

I know what you mean according to kids and I am sure, it will costs me a lot. Because, yes 24/7 will be impossible for me. I will remember this and yes baby sitters are a good option! My mom would LOVE to take care of grind child. But, it is scary to understand that this could harm my kid. Good to thing about it and know the situation is like this. But I want to have kids. Thank you for sharing this information!

Marriage and reality...I know what you mean...Maybe I use the wrong word - marriage, I mean a partnership. I have the feeling, it will be a long distance relationship at the beginning, have the feeling he is going to be foreigner and things will happen slowly. We will see!

A deeply intimate relationship - this is what I want, not so much to be with someone the how time.

First how to give all of yourself and then how to let go of that person you loved. It will transform you.

This is what I do my how life until now!

Thank you so much, my dear! Do you have your thread?


@helike13

I have read your thread. Helike13, I will tell you this as a person - you deserve to love and be loved. You can end this marriage, you will find a job in your country, or somewhere else. Who knows, maybe you will meet someone there! A beautiful land! And I am fascinated by your hobby! I really wish you all, all the best! What are the start saying - separation from her? Why do you thing you are trapped in this marriage? Everything can change in a minute. I have the feeling you have given up. You are young, helike13! You have so much more time!

@lif3siz3p4p3rd011 Thank you very much for taking a look at my topic, for your time and kind and hopeful response :).
 

helike13

Well-known member
@Catherina

Yes, I feel trapped and I don't have any more power to fight. I simply ran out of my batteries.

But I suspect this situation is happening because my Yod is playing with me.

The task to deal with a Yod transit/activation is to don't take any course of action by ego. Just stay calm and inactive until things will naturally fold out and the window of opportunity will open.
 

Chaterina

Member
So here I go again with my fears. I just read about stelium:

Individuals with a 7th House stellium as the least likely to marry or stay married.

Great! Such good news for Friday evening!

But the opinion of the users here is different. Why?

Could you tell me more about the aspects in my chart? This is something I do not understand.

Thank you for helping me!
 

Chaterina

Member
Hello everyone! Many thanks for your support in the past. I need your help once again. I met someone...we are dating since two months. Could you take a look at his chart and tell me your opinions. I will be very grateful. Many thanks in advance.
 

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