Re: How can I break **** addiction& Failure seems to be a constant theme in my life
Ive tried everything including therapy and it has all amounted to nothing. According to my natal chart, what can I do to break this hold it has on me? Ive been seriously trying since 2011 and Ive tried everything and keep failing.
Speaking of failure, it seem like I always fail at anything that actually means something to me, including escaping **** addiction.
Is this just my life, am I doomed to failure?
https://www.astrologyweekly.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=85597&d=1591076930
I'm going to describe the problem first, but then, list some remedies.
You have many planets in the 4th house of home and family. So, the addiction appears to be partly, conditioning. You have Neptune conjunct the Sun - and Neptune can make a person want to escape, be creative, or feel lost. There are good escapes and bad escapes, of course. On the other hand, Pisces and Neptune can put you in touch with your Soul-Spirit. It's the sign of the Mystic. Capricorn Sun people are susceptible to addictions - especially alcohol - because Capricorn doesn't like to deal with emotions and feelings, and alcohol helps them access those feelings - and express them. So to a Capricorn Sun, drinking some alcohol can be a wonderful emotional release from holding onto unexpressed feelings. An addict is someone who wants to have union with Soul - and - so this is why drugs and alcohol might be attractive.
Your past life symbol is Libra - 2nd house - with Venus ruler in Scorpio, 3rd. It's very possible that you tend to see yourself through the eyes of others - and you haven't gotten the kind of feedback or positive reflections that you have needed in childhood - to develop a strong self-image. So there is a built-in dependency there - and maybe enmeshment - or desire to bond too much, too closely - in order to feel okay. Your Mars-Jupiter in Pisces on the DES doesn't help either - as you could easily enjoy escaping into relationships - be it people or drugs. You could use that Mars to set boundaries with people. Pisces tends not to have good boundaries, but Mars loves to set boundaries. It could be there to be of help instead of hindrance.
I actually have Virgo rising, a Sagittarius Moon and Jupiter in Pisces like you do. We Virgos are really good at self-doubting, self-criticizing, feeling unappreciated, anxious, and generally, we worry too much and are way too perfectionist - as we can never meet our own high standards. Virgo is the perfect victim. Most of us Virgo risings do at least some of those negative Virgo traits. What is necessary to get out of it, is to do positive Virgo - analyze oneself in order to understand WHY. Without understanding one's deeper motivations, how can we stop feeling negative Virgo? Other positive Virgo traits are being organized, efficient, clean, detail-oriented, humble, helpful and always of service to others. Virgo is only negative when its down on itself and doesn't have good boundaries with others - so that they stand up and say NO when they don't want to help.
Another way to improve is to get tuned into your North Node in Aries. Aries is a warrior, very independent, can set boundaries, doesn't care what other people think - wants nothing more than to do his own thing and honors his most instinctive impulses. He can stand strong and stand alone. Aries really doesn't care what others think - and this is something you need to practice.
Your Sag Moon is in close conjunction with Uranus - the "I've got to be Me" planet. You do have some great independent energy here to work with. Uranus, like Aries, does not care what other people think - and is very smart too. Sag Moons are naturally smart and goal-oriented. They like to learn and grow. This is a positive placement in relationship to the rest of your chart.
Really, the primary two difficulties are caring too much what other people think and feeling dependent upon others to provide you with positive feedback. The challenge is to get to know yourself as a strong, independent, freedom-loving person - to set strong boundaries with others, to look for your goodness within yourself - and not seek validation from outside. The other thing is to know your emotions and feelings. It's okay if you don't express them to others, but you at least have to know what you're feeling. If you just sweet them under the rug, then they will bug you to express and this is what makes you want to drink - or whatever you do.
The chart is one of personal development - all but one planet is below the horizon - so this lifetime is primarily an inner one. You are learning to stand on your own two feet, be the captain of your own ship. You need to work hard and steadily - I mean to be preoccupied with a job, hobby or learning. Busy is good for you. You are physically very antsy on the inside, and you need to keep moving. If you embark upon meditation, you'll want to do one where you can walk or move around. Just observing your thoughts and breath while doing anything would be highly effective. By observing, I mean, watching yourself do stuff or watching your thoughts - just watching - being present.
You probably judge yourself harshly - and - you need to give yourself a break. Failure is a judgement call. Lots of people fail at something but just get back up in the saddle and try again. They don't judge themselves for it. So, you really need to assess the way you judge yourself - and - do the impossible standard thing. I actually understand this well with my Virgo rising and Sag Moon - which is in the same place on the IC as yours is. Both Virgo and Sag have very high standards - and if we fall below them - we can feel like a failure, when in fact, we aren't. So, you have to be careful how you talk to yourself.
It isn't easy to get out of an addiction, but I hope this is helpful. The answer lies in you having the sense that you can - by yourself - stand up and be a person of value. You have to value yourself. If you look for it from outside, you won't find it there. Somewhere, down deep, you know you are a person, with a life, a value, and a purpose. When you can grab ahold of it with the Aries warrior's hands - that is part of you - then, you may find that you can indeed, kick the addiction - and start treating yourself better.
