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  #26  
Unread 05-02-2020, 03:29 AM
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Re: 12th sun ego

I think this is typical of people with Neptunian involvement in their first house. We tend to become like what we think people expect of us. I find this happens in-person, but not in posting.

The benefit is that you are probably a very good listener. If you're at all interested in acting, it is also good for slipping into the character being acted.

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  #27  
Unread 05-02-2020, 03:31 AM
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Re: 12th sun ego

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Originally Posted by Jessicza View Post
My rising is in pisces. I feel like a chameleon, it's so bizarre. My behavior is so different in all situations, sometimes I feel like I'm a scam
Mine's Pisces, too. And I also act differently depending on situation and the company I am with.
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  #28  
Unread 05-02-2020, 05:53 AM
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Re: 12th sun ego

THis thread has deviated a little, but could Leo 12th house(all I have is my Chiron there) be similar to 12th house sun in some ways?


In regards to my ego, I think I've had a hard time owning my strengths and gifts as if doing so would be to take something away from someone else. I'm finding that easier now as I've worked through some issues with selfesteem as I believe that stemmed from this subconscious fear that if I stated my gifts or strengths, that people would somehow be able to see some hidden(from myself) weaknesses which may possibly stem from it being the 12th house


where I am now, though, I have a very solid sense of my self, my gifts, my strengths as I also have a very solid sense of the fact we all have our individual strengths and that my having my own doesn't take away from someone else. Or that I can have weaknesses and strengths at the same time. I'm a lot stronger of an individual, very straightforward in how I present myself. Very much able to own my strengths and weaknesses


but I do feel I've had some 12th house Leo issues there, especially with the Chiron


Another thing I've noticed is that I've always hated being the center of attention, but for whatever reason, something about me draws peoples' attention. I think that may stem from other parts of my chart like possibly my 5th house placements, but it's just something I've noticed. Like I've wanted to hide myself, but others have wanted to look at me and know me. People perceive me as mysterious despite the fact I feel I'm very self revealing and I wonder if there's some connections there too to the 12th house Leo. I suppose it's a sense of odd magnetism. I have to wonder if I subconsciously attempt to draw peoples' attention despite the fact a part of me despises it


interestingly, my Neptune is also in my 5th house so there's a little bit of an inside out thing going on there


I also feel there's something people want to take advantage of within me. I'm a very solid person now in terms of confidence and knowing my strengths, but it's like people want to test that and trigger me or expose me for being a fraud of some sort


sometimes I find people glorify me or idealize me and it makes me wonder if I truly am a fraud even if I'm not trying to be or if I'm just expressing myself naturally. People do become mystified by me sometimes and another issue that arises for me is wanting people to know the real me and not some projected image that mystifies them


This is all rather disjointed, but I feel it may stem from that 12th house Leo placement, possibly with the Chiron, maybe even with my 5th house Uranus-Neptune

Last edited by Lykanized; 05-02-2020 at 05:59 AM.
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  #29  
Unread 05-07-2020, 12:02 PM
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Re: 12th sun ego

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Originally Posted by waybread View Post
This also happens with other rising signs, but with Neptune in the first house. (Ask me how I know.....)
My three kids have Neptune in the first and none of them have the same issue as Jessica.
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  #30  
Unread 05-07-2020, 08:43 PM
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Re: 12th sun ego

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Originally Posted by Lykanized View Post

where I am now, though, I have a very solid sense of my self, my gifts, my strengths as I also have a very solid sense of the fact we all have our individual strengths and that my having my own doesn't take away from someone else. Or that I can have weaknesses and strengths at the same time. I'm a lot stronger of an individual, very straightforward in how I present myself. Very much able to own my strengths and weaknesses


Another thing I've noticed is that I've always hated being the center of attention, but for whatever reason, something about me draws peoples' attention. I think that may stem from other parts of my chart like possibly my 5th house placements, but it's just something I've noticed. Like I've wanted to hide myself, but others have wanted to look at me and know me. People perceive me as mysterious despite the fact I feel I'm very self revealing and I wonder if there's some connections there too to the 12th house Leo. I suppose it's a sense of odd magnetism. I have to wonder if I subconsciously attempt to draw peoples' attention despite the fact a part of me despises it

This sounds so much like me. Yes, I have EGO, and low self-esteem. I think the EGO developed as I spent more and more time alone. And have been an overkill over-achiever.

Sun and Pluto and Mercury and Uranus ALL in the 12th House, all in Virgo, Virgo ASC.

Apparently others see intensity and eccentricity even while I was shy and tried to disappear into the woodwork.

This business about others seeing things in me I can't see...? REALLY? That has got to be the most frightening dirty trick there is!

Well, I'm reading Tolle's A New Earth for book club, and it's all about getting past Ego. Fingers crossed. I'd gotten so bad even my emotions were repressed under the myriad Ego head-voices. That was my crisis and wake-up call (I couldn't grieve properly for my brother.)

Goid luck Abby! Sounds like you have a handle on things now. We do all look back and see ourselves behaving badly SOME time.
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  #31  
Unread 05-08-2020, 04:22 AM
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Re: 12th sun ego

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Originally Posted by Irisiel View Post
This sounds so much like me. Yes, I have EGO, and low self-esteem. I think the EGO developed as I spent more and more time alone. And have been an overkill over-achiever.

Sun and Pluto and Mercury and Uranus ALL in the 12th House, all in Virgo, Virgo ASC.

Apparently others see intensity and eccentricity even while I was shy and tried to disappear into the woodwork.

This business about others seeing things in me I can't see...? REALLY? That has got to be the most frightening dirty trick there is!

Well, I'm reading Tolle's A New Earth for book club, and it's all about getting past Ego. Fingers crossed. I'd gotten so bad even my emotions were repressed under the myriad Ego head-voices. That was my crisis and wake-up call (I couldn't grieve properly for my brother.)

Goid luck Abby! Sounds like you have a handle on things now. We do all look back and see ourselves behaving badly SOME time.
I don't know if it'll be similar for you, but I've had to go through a huge journey with low self esteem and grappling with my ego. I find that throughout my life, I was never able to properly own my strengths even if I knew them deep down. So I wouldn't assert those strengths and therefor my desires in the world. There was immense hopelessness and lack of drive due to not owning those strengths. I could connect with my weaknesses, but not fully own them in the way that they needed to be so as to wade my way through them to embrace who I really am


but I've also found that just listening to that intuition and putting in work little by little, everything starts to fall into place. Everything starts to become more clear and you realize more and more that everything that ever made you feel stuck and static was only a creation of your mind. You may not even be trying to work on your self esteem and balancing ego directly, but if you just listen to your intuition and where it's taking you and what it tells you you need to work on, those things really do heal since everything is so interconnected internally


now I'm fine. I don't feel the need to get others' validation, but I completely recognize my strengths. I'm more able to see the truth and admit it whether it be my strengths or things I still need to work on. Just so much more balance. So that is possible. And never let astrological placements hold you back either. In the end, it's all about you and your soul
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  #32  
Unread 05-08-2020, 01:58 PM
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Re: 12th sun ego

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lykanized View Post
I don't know if it'll be similar for you, but I've had to go through a huge journey with low self esteem and grappling with my ego. I find that throughout my life, I was never able to properly own my strengths even if I knew them deep down. So I wouldn't assert those strengths and therefor my desires in the world.
Very similar! I've had other squares that made me feel like I had to justify my existence.

Quote:
but I've also found that just listening to that intuition and putting in work little by little, everything starts to fall into place. Everything starts to become more clear and you realize more and more that everything that ever made you feel stuck and static was only a creation of your mind.
And my intuition is something I ignored at the expense of busy-Mercury Pluto-obsessed brain for far too long.

Quote:
You may not even be trying to work on your self esteem and balancing ego directly, but if you just listen to your intuition and where it's taking you and what it tells you you need to work on, those things really do heal since everything is so interconnected internally
Well, now I AM finally trying to work on getting past my Ego to hear my intuition. I think there are aspects in my Natal that say I could be good at this, here's hoping.

Quote:
now I'm fine. I don't feel the need to get others' validation, but I completely recognize my strengths. I'm more able to see the truth and admit it whether it be my strengths or things I still need to work on. Just so much more balance. So that is possible. And never let astrological placements hold you back either. In the end, it's all about you and your soul
Thank you for the success story example! It's very encouraging. I don't think I'm quite there, yet. It's too easy to fall into a guilt-driven pattern "I have five minutes left! What else can I get done?"

Now instead I tell myself that it's okay to take those extra minutes and meditate. Take care!
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  #33  
Unread 05-13-2020, 12:15 AM
OuterPlanets89 OuterPlanets89 is offline
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Re: 12th sun ego

12th House Libra Sun here (conjunct Mars, and at the apex of a T-Square with a 9th House Cancer Jupiter and a 3rd House Capricorn Saturn/Uranus/Neptune). Yikes, I know.

I've always had a strange relationship with my "ego" -- I feel like for most of my life, I've either underestimated or overestimated myself, probably because of this 12th House nebulousness. The underestimating comes more in group activities ("you can take the last shot"), whereas the overestimating comes in solitude ("I'm meant to do something special"), which is where most 12th House Suns seem to gain clarity.

But this T-Square configuration has given me a ton of 12th House Energy and I'm still figuring out how to best utilize it, to some extent. My natural tendency is to sacrifice myself in groups/teams, not necessarily to gain recognition for "selflessness" (at least not consciously), but more because I'm actually uncomfortable with the spotlight, and because I assume that most other people don't want to sacrifice their wants/needs. But this might qualify as a "martyr complex," who knows.

Meditating and letting go has been the best way to deal with this energy. But during tougher times, self-medicating via alcohol etc. has been a negative way of addressing this. I also feel like I experienced an ego death around 19, but have had to "build" an ego in the decade following that, to be able to support myself in a dog-eat-dog world.

My dad was definitely a 12th H figure. My parents split when I was 5 and he was the world-traveling, kind and cultured one...but I didn't see him much after the divorce, and we never shared many deeper feelings. I started to shed my idealized picture of him in my teens though. The fact that my Sun is in hard aspect to 6 planets via Conjunction or Square makes it very difficult to put "who I am" into a box. Sometimes my Jupiter/Uranus is activated with my Sun/Mars and I become a confident risk-taker...but then there are times where my Saturn/Neptune are activated, and I'd rather work alone and disappear from the outside world.

[edit] The morph-into-who-people-want-me-to-be theme mentioned in this thread has definitely applied to me, with my Libra energy only adding fuel to that. A part of me knows that prioritizing some form of spirituality is going to be the best thing that I can do for my own mental health, but for some reason it's hard to let go completely.

My immediate family is also all 1st or 10th House Suns so they don't understand why it's so hard for me to turn my strengths into their external definition of "success."

Last edited by OuterPlanets89; 05-13-2020 at 12:27 AM.
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  #34  
Unread 05-13-2020, 01:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OuterPlanets89 View Post

Sometimes my Jupiter/Uranus is activated with my Sun/Mars and I become a confident risk-taker...but then there are times where my Saturn/Neptune are activated, and I'd rather work alone and disappear from the outside world.
I actually never even considered that till this moment: those 4 planets I have in the 12th? Sun-Pluto-Mercury-Uranus. THEY'RE ALL CONJUNCT!

ANY combo of any of the above can be activated at any time!!

That explains a lot. Actually, it raises a whole bunch of new confusion...
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  #35  
Unread 05-13-2020, 01:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Abby83 View Post
Oh, and my children's book is finally coming to completion and I found a publisher ☺️.
I missed this first time through--Congrats!! That's a really admirable achievement.

I'm a writer, too. This may be the year I start to query.
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  #36  
Unread 05-13-2020, 02:22 AM
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Re: 12th sun ego

Quote:
Originally Posted by Abby83 View Post
Hi all,

I'm well aware that 12th house sun people are often caring and giving empaths. And many of us have wounding with our father.

I'm curious though if anyone else with this placement feels that they are unaware of how big their ego is?

Like for me, the last week I've been thinking about a friendship I let go of 8 yrs ago. It was a petty fight really. Looking back I feel as though I was selfish, self absorbed, possessive and egotistic. At the time I was going through so much drama I felt I was the victim in this friendship. But now that I'm reflecting I can see it was all me me me.

So I'm curious if anyone else has felt that being a 12th sun makes them unaware of their ego

I may have missed the post, but I didn't see one with the positions of your planets or signs.



About the 12th, I see the Sun as Tad Mann taught which is the father is somehow, "missing" ..if not in person at the birth then perhaps psychologically for some reason or other. Perhaps alcholism takes him away or emotionally distant (such as my father was), although I do not have any planets in my 12th, (my sun in the 6th house instead)
Reference: -
http://www.atmann.net/tma.htm


In reading what you did write, I feel you have surpassed most, by going within to your depth , the recesses of your own subconscious likely by isolating yourself not even knowingly perhaps in some way (meditation or otherwise), because of what you've found out about yourself so young in life.


There are millions in their 70s who aren't anywhere near such self-analyzation.



I suppose in some bizarre way, we should also thank our parents for the opportunity to be born with the charts we have, if the lessons are well learned.
p.s. did you say you have Neptune here? or Pisces Sun? Then the 12th is a natural home

Last edited by leomoon; 05-13-2020 at 02:25 AM.
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