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  #1  
Unread 08-29-2017, 10:38 PM
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Slytherin88 Slytherin88 is offline
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What is going on with me?

Hi, I'll try to be as precise as possible. With Mercury being currently retrograde in my 3rd house, many details slip through my fingers these days.

-I've been these last 12 months in a self-created chaos, and I think that unconsciously I'm sabotaging myself. It's gotten to the point where I seriously might be kicked out of my university. I don't know why I do things that I do. I need attention and love, and as extremely silly as it sounds, I feel so lonely that I keep internalizing my feelings and sabotaging my life. I thought that Uranus conjunct my Sun will help me get out of my shell, and make me braver, but it just made feel freer and more authentic. Uranus opposite my Moon is hitting me closer to my heart. I can't control my impulses and unconscious tendencies. I'm 25 years old, and I never worked my entire life. It's embarrassing, because I'm quite scared to face people. If it was a job that wouldn't require me leaving my house everyday. (Once a week is fine!)I know that this might be because of SN being in the 12 house in Cancer, and me being a Cancer Ascendant, but it's so hard to control my self this year. Is it only Uranus opposite my Moon to be blamed? I can't explain it better than this. Me, the 25 year old, who's never kissed, worked, or even been asked for a date. I'm fundamentally embarrassing. I don't know how to explain, and I don't want to find excuses, on why I failed so bad in life so far.There are so many fears I have failed to face. I wish I was braver.I hope that I'll fix smth very important in my life when Jupiter is conjunct my Moon, and when it's opposite my Sun, in September/October. I don't feel like I trust anyone in my life. My friendships and family has been so utterly disappointing, and made me feel even worse. I've been through so much, having been for so many years severally depressed, and now I just want to be happy. But, I can't ignore my responsibilities just because they make me unhappy. I must be braver and stronger. Thank you if you read this far from the bottom of my heart.

I'll post the natal chart and the transit's one separately , just so you won't get confused.
astro_2gw_01_parta_cana.80079.52349.jpg
astro_24gw_01_parta_cana_2017829.80202.50224.jpg

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  #2  
Unread 08-30-2017, 07:49 PM
Lin Lin is offline
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Re: What is going on with me?

You have quite a few positions which show social anxiety- Uranus conj Neptune in the 7th, Saturn square Pluto from the 8th to the 5th....fear or dislike (or both) for authority figures.
Not knowing what your goals are.

But what I am very curious about is how you have avoided having any job in your life?
Are your parents wealthy? Very permissive?

And you don't want to learn anything or know anything or have a life?

HOw were you in High School? Did you pass your courses? Have any friends?

Have you ever been on medication for bi-polar disorder or depression?
LIN
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  #3  
Unread 08-30-2017, 10:30 PM
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Re: What is going on with me?

Hi, it's quite a wonder that I didn't receive notification for this. Or, maybe I didn't notice. I'll answer your questions.

-Unemployment is very high in Kosovo. It's not unusual to be supported in Kosovo until mid 20s, though the majority of people of my age have already found jobs. I'll apply in September in many places.
-My parents are not wealthy. We're average. Enough to have a decent lifestyle.
-Not exactly permissive. 1.I'm not allowed to date anyone whose family didn't live in a city for hundreds of years. Both sides of my family lived in a city for hundreds of years, and my grandmother is from a noble family. They don't like people from villages.2.I was not allowed to wear whatever I want, but now they like my style.
-No, I actually want to learn lots of things. I've even started learning German and Spanish in Duolingo. I'm a certified Java programmer actually. I want to have a life, but I don't want to act like I'm confident and social. I feel constantly judged and disliked.
-I was a brilliant student. The majority of my grades were A. I had friends, but I never could develop close friendships. When I became depressed, my life fell apart, and my friends kept ignoring me.
-To avoid shaming my family and to cover my own shame, since there is too much stigma, I never went to a psychologist. I drank St John's Wort tea, when I could. My depression isolated me, because there was almost anyone I could talk about this.

To be completely honest, I felt a bit insulted when I first read the message, but now I understand. It's not that I don't want to have a life or know anything or even have a job. People tend to be quite aggressive, and I'm genuinely afraid of being shouted at. There is so many things I want to do that lately I'm feeling so overwhelmed, and I don't know what to do.
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  #4  
Unread 08-31-2017, 10:43 PM
Lin Lin is offline
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Re: What is going on with me?

OK......yeah....I'm very blunt as i don't have a lot of time and I visit more than one forum. So I cut to the chase, as they say.
NO ONE wants to be shouted at.
Your Mars in Pisces is very sensitive as is your Cancer ASC.

Good news: your life is about to change. A lot. Saturn entering Capricorn, Jupiter entering Scorpio, and eventually Uranus entering Taurus.....will be pretty friendly to you and you will undergo an attitude adjustment.

There will be a teensy bit of time when Saturn enters Capricorn when it will be square your early Aries planets in your 10th house. You may be "forced" to get a job. Think of this as extended education and just do it.
You will learn something and get paid, even if that first job is not ideal. And you may meet people who you can like and add to your network (which you will acquire as time goes on....people you relate to) and people who can help you later.

Remember: you don't always KNOW why you are put into certain positions when it comes to Saturn, the teacher. But later you will look back and say....ah-ha! Now I know why I needed to do that.

A bit later Jupiter in Scorpio kicks in and it will be different.

BTW, can you manage to post your solar return chart for 2018-19? I'd like to see that. Often the SR gives you more detail than the transits for a specific time frame.

Jupiter in Libra did little for you....but as soon as transit Jupiter sextiles your natal Jupiter (in Virgo) a job will appear. Take it. No matter if you can feel it being a great job. Unless you get more than one offer which often happens with Jupiter transits. Then you need a priority list for the job you want. You need to know a lot about where you will work and not feel shy about asking questions. An assertive potential employee should be able to ask questions. If the HR person you speak to gives you a hard time then that is not the place for you.
the right place will feel right. You can also ask someone who works there if the atmosphere is creative or inhibiting.
LIN
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Last edited by Lin; 08-31-2017 at 10:55 PM.
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  #5  
Unread 09-01-2017, 01:52 AM
katydid katydid is offline
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Re: What is going on with me?

In your natal chart, your 'elements' are balanced. You have a good balance of Fire, Air, Earth and Water.

However, the modes, Cardinal/Fixed/Mutable, are not balanced. You are strongly Cardinal, and are lacking mutable mode.

Mutable is the ability to think things through logically, rationally. Mutable energy likes to weigh out decisions before taking any actions.


You have 6 planets and the Ascendant and North Node, all in Cardinal. Cardinal energy is IMPULSIVE, suddenly making spur of the moment decisions, and actin g without thinking things through.

Sometimes that can work in someones favor. But your Cardinal planets are squaring and opposing each other. So the Moon in Libra, reacting emotionally gets in your one way at times, thus blocking your true urge for relationships by making others upset and confused about your intentions.

All of those creative water trines are lovely and wonderful. I think you are much more worthy and amazing and gifted than you give yourself credit for. You may take your skills and nice qualities for granted.

You have plenty of time left in your life to be kissed. You will be loved and cherished. Saturn, ruling your 7th, and in your 8th in Aquarius, is allowing you to be a late bloomer. When you finally find love, you will truly appreciate it.

So with maturity, you will learn to get that wild impulsive Cardinal energy under control. Don't be defiantly defensive to the point of burning bridges. Try hard to learn to take a deep breath, and think before blurting out whatever comes to mind.

Last edited by katydid; 09-01-2017 at 01:54 AM.
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  #6  
Unread 09-01-2017, 11:48 AM
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Re: What is going on with me?

@Lin Thank you so much for the reply. It was very helpful and well-written.I'll try my best.
Here is my 2018/2019 SR chart.
astro_32gw_01_parta_cana_201891.42351.33135.jpg
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  #7  
Unread 09-01-2017, 12:12 PM
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Re: What is going on with me?

@katydid
Thank you so much for your reply. I really appreciate it. Both of my parents are in their sixties, and I really want to make them happy. Both got married late(Mum was 33, going 34, Dad was 39),and they didn't marry out of love, but by the need to create a family. I also heard that people don't fall in love after reaching age 30. This makes me sad.
-Also, it's really hard to be an Aries with Libra Moon. I need to relate to others, but my temper gets the best of me, especially when things aren't fair and others are not as direct as I want them to be. I usually bite my tong, but sometimes others wonder why I let others be unfair to me. It's hard to find the middle ground.I either talk too little or too much.
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  #8  
Unread 09-01-2017, 05:33 PM
katydid katydid is offline
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Re: What is going on with me?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Slytherin88 View Post
@katydid
Thank you so much for your reply. I really appreciate it. Both of my parents are in their sixties, and I really want to make them happy. Both got married late(Mum was 33, going 34, Dad was 39),and they didn't marry out of love, but by the need to create a family. I also heard that people don't fall in love after reaching age 30. This makes me sad.
-Also, it's really hard to be an Aries with Libra Moon. I need to relate to others, but my temper gets the best of me, especially when things aren't fair and others are not as direct as I want them to be. I usually bite my tong, but sometimes others wonder why I let others be unfair to me. It's hard to find the middle ground.I either talk too little or too much.
Who told you that people don't fall in love after 30? Plenty of people find their true loves in their 30's. I met my husband when I was about to turn 30.

Lots of people find true love AFTER their Saturn returns help them mature. And your 7th house is ruled by Saturn, so you are a late bloomer when it comes to love relationships. Don[t be too hard on yourself.
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  #9  
Unread 09-01-2017, 06:35 PM
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Re: What is going on with me?

Yeah....definitely with Katy about love after 30. I fell in love with my 2nd husband when I was in my early 30s with 2 kids and we married a couple of years later. Not the perfect marriage but it was really good for a long time. My FIRST marriage was one of necessity.

The men I really fell head over heels in love with were NOT marriage material....lol....and that is life for you.

The Solar return chart is a bit complex but I think optimistic for work and career.

Jupiter in Scorpio trines Neptune in your 6th of work....so..not bad. And Neptune rules that house for that year. Jupiter is connected with Moon-Venus in Taurus and they both trine Saturn and Mars and Pluto in Capricorn on your IC. So I think your identity crisis about work will probably have some sort of positive answer.

It's true that Pluto (but only Pluto) will square Sun and Uranus ...but that is a "generational" and also a worldwide square for that time of the year next year. So I think you would have to see what that actually means to you, personally, before getting too worried over it.

Jupiter also sextiles Mars and Pluto from the 2nd house of material goods. I think that is positive. And Pluto rules both the 2nd house and is in that Capricorn grouping.
Which in turn sextiles Neptune in the house of work.

Neptune also sextiles Moon and Venus....not sure what that means but when Neptune is on your side it's a wait and see sort of thing; it can promise something that doesn't come thru...but....you are protected by other aspects; so it is a balanced chart and that is all you can ask for.
LIN
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  #10  
Unread 09-03-2017, 07:12 PM
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Re: What is going on with me?

-Well, you were 29. I was talking about after you turn 30. Mum told me this, and someone confirmed it.
-Okay, I also want to say this. Just because I've Saturn ruling my 7th house doesn't mean I'll find love later in life. It can also mean that you might marry a much older person, or you boss. At least, that's what I've heard from astrologers. What makes me worry are the Neptune and Uranus there. Neptune means deceit in marriage, and Uranus might mean that I'll have unstable marriages.
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  #11  
Unread 09-03-2017, 07:13 PM
kshantaram kshantaram is offline
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Re: What is going on with me?

sun-mer-venus aries 10th, sun elevated, artistic-literary-oratory aptitudes,
medicine, managerial leadership, hospital administration, etc
action orientation but impulsive; rags to riches story perhaps;
sun lord 2nd for finances elevated 10th aries
for managerial career and recognition/success;

taurus-venus inimical for cancer asc, stress-delays in income-friendships;
inimical venus over aries 10th, stress-delays in career;
venus lord taurus 11th negating to aries,
negating friendships though good for gains through career;
mer lord 3rd over 10th, carer in communications;


mars 9th pisces, spirituality though service of mankind, tech aptitudes;
jup virgo 3rd, good critique, advisory aptitudes, perfectionist;
jup aspect own pisces-mars supportive of luck-edu-father-travels-spirituality;

sat acq 8th, reformist, innovative, technical aptitudes, insurance, etc
prone to chronic health issues, sciatica etc,

ketu coming 1.5yr transit sat-acq 8th, prone to pain-injury-surgery to care;

sat debilated aspect over sun-mer-venus affecting career prospects,
health, boss relationships etc;
mars lord 10th for career over previous 9th, retired attitude/negating career;
sat lord 9th for luck over previous 8th, negating luck;

[I]sat own acq 8th, success amidst adversity;
prone to chronic diseases however sciatica etc,
while not affecting longevity]


ketu the separative node cancer 12th, hyper-sensitive and intuitive;
good for spiritual explorations, liberation through pain;
pain-injury-surgery heart-lungs-feet etc;
special prayers to Christ mon evenings,

offer red flowers/roses etc at the alter at home, religion does not matter;


ketu past 1.5yr transit mars-pisces 9th, spiritually inclined,
prone to pain-injury-surgery thighs-feet;
tending to distant lands, detachment from father-education etc


rahu the other node cap 6th, practical, resolving issues tactically;
rahu now transit leo 2nd, earnings through foreign sources perhaps;
prayers to Allah, offer camphor.

asc lord moon late deg libra 5th, sociable, aptitude for psychology-teaching;
wavery mind, provoked to stormy anger;

wear pearl for moon;


saturn coming 2.5yrs sooner moving to own cap 7th,
growth-riches through public-admin, mass supervisory roles;
cap ambitious and hardworking;


jup sooner moves to scorpio 5th, 2nd from moon,
good for research-advisory roles, luck-edu-position,
jup scorpio trine own pisces mars 9th, supportive of luck-edu,
trine own cancer-ketu asc protective;



hope the information helps pick as relevant, find insightful and useful,
share feedbacks how true-untrue-prospective;

wishing luck with jupiter scorpio sooner ahead,
while care from ketu transit saturn acquarius 8th,
saturn transit 6th good for health-employment;

wishing well,


kshantaram
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Last edited by kshantaram; 09-16-2017 at 03:03 AM. Reason: queries, simplified
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  #12  
Unread 09-03-2017, 07:18 PM
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Re: What is going on with me?

@Lin
In what sign are your 5th and 7th house? Do you have Uranus in one of them by any chance?
Btw, thank you so much for the interpretation. Right now, I just want a peaceful job, where I can work at my own pace.
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  #13  
Unread 09-03-2017, 07:37 PM
VirgoSun1978 VirgoSun1978 is offline
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Re: What is going on with me?

Your progressed Sun is opposite your natal Pluto right now. It is a time of endings and new beginnings. Things may get even more intense when transiting Jupiter opposes Uranus.
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  #14  
Unread 09-03-2017, 08:57 PM
katydid katydid is offline
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Re: What is going on with me?

Slytherin,

---> MILLIONS of people fall in love after age 30.


I don't know why your Mother would tell you that people don't do so.

Just sayin.....


As for your fears about the Uranus/Neptune in the 7th...Saturn rules Capricorn, so it is the dispositor of both Uranus/Neptune. You can overcome deception and instability in relationships through the Saturn in the 8th trine Venus. Intimacy and stability in loving, caring relationships can transcend these fears.

But you have to love yourself first and cultivate faith in your future. And stop believing fear oriented blanket statements, like 'no one falls in love after 30.'

Last edited by katydid; 09-03-2017 at 09:03 PM.
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  #15  
Unread 09-03-2017, 10:20 PM
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Re: What is going on with me?

Dear Slytherin,

your chart is not a bad one. You have several good aspects. The reason you don't find love is because you only work with ultra-advanced type of love (ultra Uranus and Neptune stuff. Advanced societies stuff kind of love is what you desire.)

You can't find it easily, but maybe you'll fall in love one day, as these two want you to wait.

There's your answer.
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  #16  
Unread 09-04-2017, 11:16 AM
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Re: What is going on with me?

@kshantaram
Thank you for your reply. It was quite helpful. However, there were parts I really didn't understand. For example, this one:
Quote:
taurus-venus inimical for cancer asc, stress-delays in income-friendships;
inimical venus over aries 10th, stress-delays in career;
venus taurus 11th negating to aries,
My venus is in Aries, not Taurus.
and this:
Quote:
mars lord 10th negating to the 9th, retired attitude/negating career;
sat lord 9th negating to the 8th, negating luck;
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Unread 09-06-2017, 08:25 PM
Lin Lin is offline
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Re: What is going on with me?

WEll, the ruler of my 7th is in my 8th in Cancer.....(Venus in Cancer -ruler of the 7th)...no planets in Taurus.
5th house ruled by Neptune....last degree of Pisces.

But I am sure it was the combination of several transits which brought my 2nd husband into my life...not just one.
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Unread 09-07-2017, 01:23 PM
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Re: What is going on with me?

@Lin
Sun, Moon? Sorry, just curious.
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Unread 09-08-2017, 01:56 AM
Lin Lin is offline
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Re: What is going on with me?

Sun in Leo (15) - Moon in Gemini (26)
All planets within a trine (bundle.)
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Last edited by Lin; 09-22-2017 at 08:56 PM.
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Unread 09-13-2017, 01:09 AM
kshantaram kshantaram is offline
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Re: What is going on with me?

curious of specific feedbacks on the details offered.


Quote:
Originally Posted by kshantaram View Post

appreciate the ack and candid queries, reading moderated to self-simplify;

would appreciate if can share feedbacks on various details of the reading,
how true-untrue, insightful-useful-prospective specifically.


wishing well,


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  #21  
Unread 09-15-2017, 02:49 PM
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Re: What is going on with me?

@kshantaram
I have great difficulties understanding the majority of the text. I'll try my best
Quote:
"asc lord moon late deg libra 5th, sociable, aptitude for psychology-teaching;
wavery mind, provoked to stormy anger; "
This one is very true. I have quite a temper.
Quote:
"ketu coming 1.5yr transit sat-acq 8th, prone to pain-injury-surgery;"
I don't think that's right for ketu conjunct saturn in transit is a positive one for it relieves me of responsibilities.
Quote:
"ketu the separative node cancer 12th, hyper-sensitive and intuitive;
good for spiritual explorations, liberation through pain;
pain-injury-surgery heart-lungs-feet etc;
special prayers to Christ mon evenings,
offer red flowers/roses etc at the alter at home;"
Yes, that's very true for most, and I had great injury at my feet. I'm Muslim so I don't have to pray to Christ or offer red flowers.
Quote:
"rahu the other node cap 6th, practical, resolving issues tactically;"
That's something that I must learn in this lifetime. I'm not yet practical.
Quote:
"rahu now transit leo 2nd, earnings through foreign sources perhaps;"
Hopefully. I need money. Hahaha. That's all. Thank you.
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Unread 09-22-2017, 09:04 PM
Lin Lin is offline
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Re: What is going on with me?

Your Solar return chart is VERY promising. Sometimes nothing happens for a long time and then all of a sudden....everything comes together.

I don't know about your "ideal" job....but I don't know what that would be. Exactly what is your field? YOur ideal job?
Also, transit Jupiter in Scorpio will be conj Pluto in your 5th house of romance before it retrogrades next March.
BUT...be careful. Go slow. No matter how it feels you have to NOT assume anything before proof is shown.
Jupiter conj Pluto can feel very BIG and it can overwhelm you. When you are overwhelmed your brain can shut down and your chemistry go haywire.
LIN
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Last edited by Lin; 09-22-2017 at 09:12 PM.
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  #23  
Unread 09-23-2017, 04:32 PM
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Re: What is going on with me?

@Lin
Thank you so much for your reply. It really made me happy that you came with good news. I really need good luck, and I hope I can find a job I really like. I'm a computer science student, and a Java Certified Programmer. I also write books, and have a blog.
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